


Playing Defence

by ABeautifulBreakdown



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alpha Ben Solo, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - High School, Awkward Sexual Situations, Ben goes feral, Ben's a little moody, Breeding Kink, But I don't want to be an Omega, Consensual Underage Sex, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, F/M, Fighting As Foreplay, First Time Blow Jobs, Hockey, How long does this last?, I hate that I don't hate you, I think?, Knotting, Late presentation, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Marijuana, Masturbation, No Pregnancy, Omega Rey (Star Wars), Omega Verse, Oral Sex, Praise Kink, Rey's a little mouthy, Rutting, Scenting, Sex Talk, Spontaneous Rut, Teenage Drama, Teenagers Fighting, Underage Drinking, Underage Drug Use, Underage Sex, Virgin Rey (Star Wars), confused emotionally, just a little, kids these days and their fancy angst, love through flipping the bird, rey on top, rut-roh (Scooby doo nose), why does she smell like pancakes?, would you like some plot with your porn?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:14:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 140,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24201151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ABeautifulBreakdown/pseuds/ABeautifulBreakdown
Summary: Being a teenager sucks, thank god Ben has hockey. He plays as a defenceman for the Alderaa Knights Hockey team, he's also an Alpha. It isn't ideal but he manages and then she crashes into his life. An overly opinionated, loud-mouthed little creature whom he simply cannot escape. She's everywhere and she drives him crazy, so aggravating so bossy... so why does he feel like he might be in love with her?IE  The High School Hockey A/B/O no one asked for
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Rose Tico, Leia Organa/Han Solo, Poe Dameron/Everyone, Rey/Ben Solo
Comments: 238
Kudos: 636





	1. Being grown up isn't half as fun as growing up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first A/B/O so... let's do this!  
> SO I got this idea from art work but [@tarzelladraws](https://twitter.com/tarzelladraws) on the twitter. She did [These](https://twitter.com/tarzelladraws/status/1257690188454690816) AMAZING drawings of Highschool Hockey Reylo annnnnd it gave me some serious high school feels.

He’s seen her all over school of course, her stupid three banned hair, her converse sneakers that don’t match. She stands out like a hole ripped in the knee of a new pair of jeans. It’s fashionable sure but is it really necessary? Rey, he thinks her name is Rey. A pretty enough girl with her full mouth and toothy smile. Dark eyes that draw the light and skin that's far too tanned to be just the work of the sun. She’s loud too, over-opinionated to the point that he often tunes her out in class when she starts speaking because he knows, just knows she’s going to question and contradict every last thing the teacher has to say. She always railroads classroom conversations and makes the student body uncomfortable with the way she yammers on and on about the ' _Alpha agenda'_. As though there was some conspiracy out there just to oppress the Omega population at large 

It’s tiring, so. fucking. tiring. Because yes, Ben is an Alpha. He’s too big in every way conceivable. He’s too tall, too broad, his features don’t fit him properly. His voice is too loud, his anger too much he’s just… too… _much_. And he hates it. He _hates_ that this was the lot he’s pulled in life and he hates that she, as someone who is likely a beta she has the right to play on the designation war like it’s her god-given right. She can call herself an ally all she wants but all she’s doing is stirring the pot and making people uncomfortable.

Ok. She makes _Ben_ uncomfortable but why is it that she smells so god damn good all the time. 

The first time they ever really interact it doesn’t go very well. It’s at a party held by Poe Dameron to celebrate the end of another hockey season. It was a good season too, for the first time in years their school took the championship. Poe, their team's goalie and school Romeo managed to convince Ben’s mother (their Principal) to let them take the trophy just for one night to show it off and celebrate the way they deserved to. 

Leia was always a sucker for Poe and good friends with Poe’s parents so the request was granted and now the damned thing is being used to drink beer out of. Teenagers when left to their own devices…

She’s standing around the fire pit in Poe’s backyard her cheeks flushed a bottle of Jack Daniels in her hand which she has evidently been downing straight. Ballsy little thing that she is. Ben has never seen someone so infuriatingly beautiful before. Sure she’s pretty but tonight… the way the firelight dances in her eyes, the way her mouth spreads almost too wide as she laughs and cheers and screams at the crowd. The way her shirt slips up over her hips revealing just a little too much skin and a belly button that’s pierced and a tattoo that she’s obviously hidden on her hip. 

Loud, always so loud, as she starts to holler about _Omega rights_ and the oppressive _Alpha regime_. About how suppressants are dangerous and if Alpha’s had to take them they wouldn’t suck so bad. Funny… as a Beta Ben wouldn’t have thought Rey would know what taking suppressants is like. As though blockers were any walk in the park. 

It’s bullshit really, there are fewer and fewer Alpha and Omega pairs mating these days which means designations are thinning out. The world is overrun with Betas and isn’t it a better place for it? He’s heard the speech, let the old ways die, rise up and own your body, be comfortable in your skin, celebrate who you are. 

All easily spouted by someone who hasn't presented yet and is, in all likely hood a Beta female. 

Ben had presented when he was fourteen, early and painful. It was embarrassing but he quickly learned how to deal with the hormones and the aggressive mood swings. _Sort of_. His parents were careful and diligent making sure he was put on the best blockers on the market keeping his dosages unnaturally high. It was a fine line to walk with a teenage boy, too much could have horrible long-lasting effects, not enough and well… that wasn’t really an option. 

For some families who didn’t have the money for such things it can be a struggle. He knew boys who were sent off to special schools. Some who landed in an Alpha version of juvie for blatant acts of sexual deviancy. Ben always used them as shining examples of who he didn’t want to be. 

Thanks to his blockers he hadn’t experienced another rut since that horrible day three years ago and he’s happy to keep it that way until he's a little older. While he hates that the damn things make his head fuzzy and his mouth taste like cotton sometimes but they mean he can keep playing hockey. For that, he’s gladly double the dosage. He was almost ok with being an Alpha, it wasn’t ideal but there were worse things in life.

Then he met Her. She hadn’t presented yet and at sixteen it was highly unlikely that she was going to. Everyone just assumed she was a beta which he was sure suited her just fine. No need to be pinned down beneath a designation she didn’t want or beneath and Alpha she hated begging to take their knot. 

Lucky her. 

God but she was so _loud_ and belligerent getting into Armitage Hux’s face like he was some puppy who would roll over and show her his belly. To Ben’s surprise Hux just stood there and took it. He’d never see something so utterly bizarre. Armitage was another defencemen on the Alderaa Knights Hockey team and one of the few Alphas in the school. Ben had known him since they were little, he was a smug bastard but an alright enough guy. He definitely didn’t deserve the verbal lashing Rey was giving him but Hux was taking it like a pussy so fuck him.

Instead of going to his teammate's aid Ben sat back and enjoyed his beer watching curiously as Rey berated Hux for his treatment of his fellow teammates, those of a ‘ _lesser designation_ ’ she cried out. It was making Hux go red in the face which was amusing but then the unthinkable happened. 

Hux turned his head and bared his neck to this girl. This waif of a creature who pointed her finger in his face as she screamed and growled at him. Hux, to his credit didn’t seem to realize he was even doing it. One minute Rey was telling him he has no respect for his fellow humans and the next Hux was whimpering and exposing his gland to the little spitfire looking confused and out of sorts. 

That… that was taking it too far. It enraged Ben to watch. Hux’s behaviour was embarrassing but who the fuck did she think she was? It took all of five seconds for Ben to decide what he was going to do. In retrospect he probably should have thought it through a little better because he was very close to proving her point. 

Stalking from his chair across the yard classmates scrambled out of his path. He was a big guy and it had often been said he could be quite intimidating, but not to her, it seemed. He could feel her anger as it snapped through the air, crackling like firelight. Then it hit him this... scent. Beta’s usually smelled good Alphas but not like this, this was something else entirely. This was vanilla and maple and something that reminded him of his grandmother's home-made pancakes. It was enough to throw him off. Not just the intensity of it, the way it hung in the air born from her flesh but the way it made him feel. It had been years since he'd smelt something so sweet and warm because his Grammie Padme passed away when Ben was ten and no one made pancakes like her. It was a scent that reminded him of home and hugs and being loved and it was coming from her... this mouthy brat Rey

That of course didn’t stop her, it only gave Rey leverage and fuelled her rage. She stepped in front of him jabbing him in the chest with her finger like she knew him. Like they're going to throw down right there. He has almost a foot on her. Well.. eight inches at least and she's barking in his face like they stood on an equal playing field. 

He has to make a choice and make it fast so he does the first stupid thing he can think of. He rips the bottle of Jack right out of her hands. “That’s enough from you,” he calls over her tiered, smacking Hux in the back of the head as he holds Rey’s alcohol out of reach, “Smarten up, you’re embarrassing yourself. You’re not some Omega in heat and she’s nothing more than a mouthy little beta bitch.” 

Hux shakes himself off as he backs away shocked by his own behaviour. Rey on the other hand is furious, “Excuse me?” she hollers, and something in her voice, some tone or tenor makes Ben a little weak in the knees. What the hell was happening to him? “Give me back my fucking Jack!”

“You’ve had more than enough for one night, you’re cut off,” Ben growls taking a swig of the confiscated liquor. Jack always reminded him of his father so it's never necessarily been his drink of choice, alas he has a point to make, “Start in on water or go the fuck home.”

“Oh? and who are you to say? Another Alpha overlord?” God she really knew how to push buttons. 

“No, someone who doesn’t want to have to call 911 because a little thing like you doesn’t know their limit.” 

Rey growls, she actually growls, the sound making the hair on the back of his neck prick and his palms go sweaty. She's fierce he’d give her that but she's also the most aggravating little creature he’s ever met. “Give. It. To. Me.” Rey bites out through clenched teeth. The firelight dancing in her eyes illuminating tanned flesh that looks like amber, highlighting the constellation of freckles that lie scattered across her face. It makes him want to lick them. To run his tongue along her flesh connecting each one of them with his saliva. He wanted to pin her down… _fuck._

With a growl of frustration Ben knocks the bottle back draining the rest. It's warm and bitter and far more than a mouthful but in for a penny as they say. When the bottle is empty Ben wipes his mouth on the back of his hand, “Here,” he snarls forcing it back into her hands, “All yours,” and with that he turns and stalks away grabbing Armitage by the scruff of the neck as he goes. Fuck her and fuck her attitude. Fuck her tight little body and her stupid fucking hairstyle. God what he wouldn’t give to grab one of those buns by the root as he… _fuck!_

_ Fuck! fuck! fuck! _

Because yes, he very much would like to.

“You’re an embarrassment,” he growls at his red-headed friend all but throwing him through the back door into the Dameron’s kitchen. 

Armitage has the good sense to at least look thoroughly ashamed as he stumbles forward. He’s rubbing his hand over the scent glad at the side of his neck which already looks irritated and swollen. “I don’t know what happened,” Hux mutters bitterly, the spike in his scent is sharp and aggressive, “One minute she was yelling at me…”

“The next you were rolling over like a little bitch,” Ben snaps swatting Armies hand away fro his irritated glad, “Fucking stop that.” he grumbles, “Fuck, stop it Hux, Jesus.”

Hux looks almost pained as he peels his hands away from his neck, his fists clenching and unclenching as they fall to his sides, “I’m not even attracted to her,” he bemoans, “I was trying to chat up her little friend and all of a sudden she comes out of nowhere acting like I was trying to claim her. Like I was going to throw Rose down right there and mate her in front of the whole group like an animal. Then she started talking about hockey and how we treat our teammates. How we think we’re better..” 

Ben makes a noise that's a mix between a _huff_ and a _huh_ as his teammate tries to get himself under control. “But Jesus Ben, did you _smell_ her?” It’s not uncommon for two Alpha’s to scent an Omega and find her appealing. Rey however isn’t an Omega, “She smelt like the beach and campfires in the summer, like salt air and fucking vanilla… or marshmallows or something. Fuck.” That wasn’t what Ben had picked up on but different people scent differently that was nothing new. It was personal, just as attraction is. 

Armitage doesn't linger on that thought long. He starts to back peddle, going over the event, again and again, trying to figure out what happened, “I was just trying to talk to Rose” he repeats, more to himself, “the next thing you know Rey is screaming at me and there was just this feeling. This deep burning shame like I had done something and I just wanted to make it better. It made me want to _submit._ ” He looks a little like he’s taken a drink of something sour. Then again his face has always had this sort of pinched look to it. “You think she could be a late-blooming Alpha?”

It’s not possible, female Alpha's are extremely rare and besides Alpha’s don’t smell like _that_. Hux would realize it too if he’d pull his head out of his ass and think for a minute. Still. That _scent_. That sweet vanilla and honey and home is stuck in Ben’s nose. It makes his glands itch and his mind race. It’s probably just the alcohol. It has to be the alcohol because Beta’s. Don’t. Smell like _that_. Their scent is softer, something barely there, something easily tolerated not… not like someone has shoved an air freshener up your nose. 

“Not possible,” He feels it not on but _in_ his skin, like it’s imprinted in his flesh somehow, making his nose itch and his eyes water. Ben needs to leave now before he does something he regrets. “I’m done here, I’m going to head home.”

“It’s barely ten Solo, what the fuck?”

“We played four games in two days. I'm exhausted and I’m buzzed from that fucking Jack.” And although he showered before heading over to Poe’s he can still smell himself. That lingering odour of skin and salt and performance high. He’d washed his hair and scrubbed at his skin but he can still smell it there. The endorphins released from the game still permeating from his skin. 

“Dude… are you—“ 

“—Am I what?” Ben demands, cutting Hux off.

“You just… fuck are you that pissed off at me? Jesus I didn’t mean to?” Ben quirks his head, “It’s making me antsy Solo, fuck… just… did you take your blockers?”

Of all the stupid questions to ask… of course he’d taken them. He’d doubled all weekend the same way he does before he plays any sport. Hockey in particular. It puts a damper on his rage which if left unchecked would have him kicked off the team in a heartbeat. 

The next thing Ben knows he has Armitage punned against the kitchen wall. His forearm pressing hard into Armie’s neck making the redhead gasp as he lashes out, clawing at Ben’s hold. The urges to bite and rip and tear surges through Ben like nothing he’s ever experienced before. This wild need to dominate and own and… 

And there it is again. That intoxicating scent. He smells it before he can register what’s happening. 

Then a scoff from the door fills in the blanks for him, “ _Alpha bullshit_ ,” a small voice mutters and before Ben can pull away Hux has managed to grab him but the neck of his sweater. 

“Solo…” Armitage warns harshly, “Ben,” his name rattles around in his head a reminder of who he is. _Ben Solo. Ben Solo. Ben Solo_. Because he feels like a wild animal and the more that scent invades his sense the more he wants to react.

Ben breathes hard, panting through his teeth as Rey just stands there on the cusp of it all. Honied skin painted with the blush of alcohol, luminous brown eyes the look almost mossy and that fucking mouth so broad and full and saucy that he can’t help but wonder what it would look like, lips spread over the head of his cock. 

“Solo!” Armitage warns again, a little slower this time, “Go, home man, sleep it off.”

She’s so close he could reach out and touch her, grab her and rub his tongue over the inside of her wrist. There’s a glad there he knows, because she’s rubbing it absently on the hem of her shorts. It makes her scent bloom in the air like a heady fog of confusion as she stares at him looking bewildered and angry. Like he’s done something to her. Alright so he drank her last few fingers to Jack. That wasn’t enough to warrant this look of disgust she’s bathing him in. 

His grip on his friend relents but now Hux is holding onto him and it's hard to think straight. Hux is his friend or the closest thing he has to a friend and all he wants to do is punch him until he’s bloody and show him whom Rey belongs to. 

Fuck.

He’s gone before anyone can figure out what happened. Armitage may have had some idea but he won’t bring it up again. The walk home is cool but sobering, the alcohol in his veins burnt off through the elevation of adrenaline coursing through his system. Ben spends his entire Sunday in bed fighting off what feels like an impending fever but is more than likely the result of intense exhaustion. His skin feels too tight, his muscles sore, his body itching with a need to be stimulated. If he didn’t know any better he’d think he was about to go into a rut. That wasn’t possible though, he was taking his blockers and he hadn’t been around any Omegas in heat. It was just his body responding to the stress of playing so heavily. Ben had clocked more time on the ice than anyone other then Dameron and he was the goalie so that didn’t quite count. 

Yeah... all Ben needed was rest. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK OK OK I took some liberties with the dynamics. Please don't hate me  
> I have like half of this written already so I'm just playing around with it for now. Let me know what you think though? 
> 
> Come say hello on [The Twitter](https://twitter.com/rebelscumreylo) I love hearing from people.  
> xoxo


	2. This all was only wishful thinking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Her scent is there, pure and sweet and suddenly so blindingly clear. He’s never been around a female in heat before. Usually parents picked up the signs and keep their child home before they're able to go into full-blown heat in a crowd full of their peers. It's dangerous after all, teenagers and their hormones and will power and all that.
> 
> But, there was no mistaking it, now, right now Rey was going into heat, she was in danger and Ben felt like he was going to go mad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp... I haven't written a lot of smut but... here it is, you have been warned

By Monday morning after hours of much-needed rest and few rather vigorous masturbation sessions in the shower Ben feels relatively human again. His body is sore, his mind still foggy but a weekend full of hockey will often do that do him. As a defenseman he always has his work cut out for him. Poe despite being a fierce skater who never _actually_ leaves the net also has a penchant for being a mouthpiece on the ice. Funny as he’s never in the middle of the action but still manages to create a whole world of problems for the rest of the team.

While Poe gets to hide in the safety of the net, he still relies far too heavily on Ben and Hux to back him up when he manages to run his mouth a little too much. Yes, Poe was a good player but he also made Ben work twice as hard as he should have to in his position. It keeps Ben busy through and he’d be lying if he said the action on the ice didn’t give him a bit of a thrill. They weren’t _supposed_ to check. Their school frowned upon playing the game so aggressively. Really, that just meant they had to get really good at playing a dirty game unseen. 

Classes were nothing more than a mindless frustration. He had Advanced bio followed by PE in the morning and then finished his day with a double helping of English. Mr. Kenobi was particularly fond of forcing them into small groups to discuss the novels he’d assigned. It seemed more like he was avoiding a lesson plan and Ben was tempted to skip off and spend the afternoon on the ice. Hockey may be over for the season but that didn’t mean Ben couldn’t run drills or… something. He still felt antsy after the weekend and his confrontation with the undesignated Rey Niima. 

Thankfully she wasn’t in his advanced bio class so he was free from her tyranny for half of the morning at least. PE on the other hand was unmitigated hell. Lando had them running a gauntlet. Eight suicides followed by fifteen burpees, lunge walks, box jumps, one full minute worth of planks and then some stupid medicine ball exercise which left Ben wanting to throw up. And that was without the sickly sweet scent of Rey Niima invading his senses like some sort of alien force. 

The only joy Ben gets from the whole thing was the knowledge that Niima was in the same circle of hell as he was. Her face flushed, and sweating worse then he’d ever seen. Not that he watched her… he didn’t…. not _frequently_ or anything. Just sometimes his eyes found their way over in her direction. Usually when she laughed or was fighting with Lando about how archaic his practices were. Today on the other hand he couldn’t keep his eyes away. She looked… horrible, amazing, _delicious_. Her scent seemed to peek as she hit her last suicide and started in on her burpees. He was even starting to feel bad for her when she stumbled on her first box jump but then something happened. 

Rey fell clutching her stomach, her skin a sheen of sweat as she huddled on the ground pressed on all fours. Her friends Rose, Kaydell and Jannah had her surrounded quickly so that no one could approach, Rose calling to Lando frantically. It took Ben a minute to figure out what was happening and then it hit him. Fast and hard like a punch in the gut and he’s experienced plenty of those on the ice. 

Her scent 's there, pure and sweet and suddenly so blindingly clear. He’s never been around a female in heat before. Usually parents picked up the signs and keep their child home before they're able to go into full-blown heat in a crowd full of their peers. It's dangerous after all, teenagers and their hormones and will power and all that. 

But, there was no mistaking it, now, right _now_ Rey was going into heat, she was in danger and Ben felt like he was going to go mad. Lando was busy corralling all the other students on one side of the room while Rose ran off to get Ms. Tano. 

Before Ben can understand what's going on, there’s a hand on his shoulder pulling him back, then another pressed into his chest. Someone is standing in front of him but he can’t see who it is, can’t make out their face because all he can see, all he can hear is _her_. Everything else is white noise, the bleeding of sound that creeps in under a closed-door while she swims in his senses. It’s dizzying, being so hyper-focused while so lost to the world around him. Her smell was everywhere, honey and vanilla, like something sweet, like pancakes rolled in cinnamon and smothered in maple. It's everything, everything he’d never known he’d wanted, the very embodiment of home all wrapped up in the package of a belligerent little Omega. 

Omega, Rey was an _Omega_. Rey was going into heat and his body was telling him he needed to do something about it. He feels hot, and his skin feels tight again, like every muscle in his body is contracting and his skin can’t bear the stretch. His stomach flips and growls, it needs… _he_ needs to get to her. To taste her skin, to feed off her delicious little cunt until she's ripe and ready for him. He's never needed anything so much in his life. 

Another set of hands grope for his shoulder and he realizes he's now pushing away from the group. Lando’s voice is an echo in his head but he can’t hear, the words didn’t register because she’s there, smelling sweet and ready and she needs him. 

“Ben!” Lando’s voice is sharp, the warning of an older male Alpha. Using commands on students was against school policy hell it was illegal and beyond that, an Alpha commanding another Alpha isn’t the same as an Alpha commanding and Omega. An alpha command on another Alpha is considered provocation and in Ben’s limited capacity for thought, that’s exactly how he takes it.

His fist flies out connecting with something hard but malleable. There's a loud crunch and Ben’s fist feels wet. He's panting and pulling and desperate when something strikes him in the face. The harsh burn of a palm against flesh pulling him from his stupor long enough that the world around him starts to focus again. Poe is on the ground clutching his nose which is bloody and swollen. Rey’s friend Finn at his side checking around Poe’s eyes muttering something about it definitely being broken. Armitage has two hands pressed against Ben’s chest forcing him back, muttering something about how Ben needs to get a hold of himself. 

The scent in the air is still so strong, intoxicatingly so as Ms. Tano and Mr. Kenobi rush into the room. Ms. Tano makes quick work getting Rey to safety while Mr. Kenobi works crowd control, the picture of calm indifference. 

Lando on the other hand looks absolutely murderous. He was the one who slapped Ben. Standing in front of him his eyes wide and his nostrils flaring.  
“Did you.” he starts, his voice deep and dangerous, “Forget your blockers,” he asks. An embarrassing question that no one wants to get asked in a room full of their peers. 

“No,” Ben growls, pushing Armitage back and off him to give himself a chance to breathe. His skin is hot and sticky with sweat, his heartbeat hammering in his ears. He needs to get away, he needs to get to her. He needs to make her feel better, to take away her pain to fill her and fill her and _fill her_ until his Omega is happy and every inch of her was covered in _him._

He can still taste her on his tongue, that nuclear scent that is sweet and warm and _home_. She smells like home. He needs to know if she tastes the same way, if her mouth tastes like honey. If her sweat tastes like vanilla. If her cunt tastes like maple. 

“You’re going into rut son,” Lando says cooly, “I'm going to get you home before you hurt anyone else…” hurt anyone else? 

Right, Dameron, his face was broken or something. Serves him right for getting between Ben and his Omega. He can’t even find it within himself to feel bad. “Ben… Ben listen to me,” 

“He’s going feral,” Ben hears someone holler from behind. It sounds like a girl but it could be anyone because everything sounds just a little funny right now. 

“Ben, don’t make me give you the shot son…” The shot… _the shot, the shot, the shot_. Ben’s heart is hammering in his chest. He’s heard of seniors who have had to get the shot. A potent cocktail made up mostly of adrenaline and a handful of hormones that makes you feel like your heart is going to explode. Some of the boys on the hockey team said it took them weeks to get an erection after being given the shot, others said they’ve never felt so panicked before in their life. Like their body had gone into a state of pure fight or flight before crashing into an inevitable pit of self-loathing and pain. 

No. Ben does _not_ want the shot. If Lando and his father weren’t so tight he imagines he’d have had the needled jabbed into his leg by now. 

God bless nepotism. 

“Get my home, Lando?” Ben manages, he’s pushing himself to move but his body feels heavy because every step is taking him further away from her. He needs to find her, she needs him. Don’t they understand that? Can’t they understand that? 

He can barely remember the drive home, the only thing he can focus on is her. That scent that has somehow wound itself into his brain and is living there rutting against his olfactory nerve. Every time he thinks he’s escaped it something in his brain shifts and he can smell her again. A sugary sweetness that lingers on his tongue making his mind reel and his cock impossibly hard. 

Lando makes sure Ben gets to his room plying him with Gatorade and protein bars. His father's friend has been around the block a few times, he knows the drill, but he has to let Han know whats going on. Ben would groan if he could focus on anything beyond the mouthwatering taste of Omega that lingers in the back of his throat. A ghost of a taste really because he doesn’t _actually_ know what she would taste like. 

When Lando leaves it’s with a promise that Han will be home soon. His mother no doubt already knows. Tano or Kenobi would have filled her in at this point. How proud she would be, her son thrown into rut in the middle of a high school PE class. She would have to call Poe’s parents, andBen would be made to apologize no doubt. 

Fucking Poe getting in the way. 

Thank god hockey was done for the year otherwise he’d be put on suspension on top of it all. _Fuck._ His clothes are too tight, why is his room so hot all of a sudden?

Ben makes short work stripping himself bare his hands palming his thigh aggressively. Everything feels too much like he just needs to rub up against something, something warm… something wet. He’s never felt such a visceral need to _fuck_ before in his life. He could call Baz maybe… but no, no Lando warned him to stay away from everyone when he’s like this.  


“Just you and your hand kid…” he offered with a sad sort of smile before he left. His parents had offered to buy him toys but he vehemently refused. The idea of his father going into a sex store for him… or worse, his mother. Fuck. No… 

Sitting on the edge of his bed Ben looks down at himself. He’s never been so hard before. His cock is swollen and red looking and just fucking angry. Angry like he feels. His knot is already starting to swell, hot and tight at the base waiting for an Omega to lock inside. It’s leaking pearlescent precome that drips along his glans like sap. 

Hah, Sap… because earlier Rey called told him he was as dense as a fucking redwood. 

The thought of her voice, angry and aggressive as she said it makes his cock twitch. Such a little thing with such a filthy mouth. God the things he would do to that mouth if she’d let him… Without pretence Ben takes his cock in his hand. The skin of his palm feels almost foreign, too rough as he strokes himself from the head to the base hissing at the hot pull of flesh. Too much, too dry. He needs lube, lotion, something. _Fuck_ , what kind of teenager is he that he doesn't have anything on hand? 

Groaning he rubs his palm it into the precum that drools from his cock head before giving himself another easy stroke. His knot is impossibly sensitive the skin pulling tight making his balls ache. With his free hand he cups them giving them a tentative squeeze. It all feels wrong somehow, as though his body knows this isn’t how it’s meant to happen. 

Falling back on his bed he palms his swollen head again softly, swirling around the fluid that leaks so gratuitously from it. It’s not much, it’s not enough but it's better than spitting in his own hand. Not that he’s against the idea he’s just not about to run to the bathroom to get his mother's hand lotion. The stuff that smells like coconut. 

No… 

His hand moves steadily, firm at the tip while a little loser around his knot. It’s too sensitive for anything more and the featherlight touch of his own fingertips makes him think of her. Her small hands, how tiny they would look wrapped around him like this. That broad mouth and those full lips smiling, as she tells him he's a prick and then runs her tongue the length of him. He wonders if she’s ever been with anyone before, another Alpha? 

Not likely with her disdain for their very existence. Ben is sure he can change her mind, he wants to change her mind. Show her how good an Alpha can be. How attentive, how giving…. The ways he would have her. Anyway she wanted if she would allow him the pure joy of feeling that sweet cunt slide all around him. She would be wet, so fucking wet and sweet and she would smell like sugar and maple and… 

Picking up his pace Ben stifles a groan, closing his eyes as her pictures her and all the ways he’d like to fuck her. She’d call him an asshole as she straddled his hips and he’d let her. He’d let her call him anything she wanted to feel the pure joy of her heat as it swallowed him whole. She’s such a tiny thing but she could take it, he knows she could because she’s fierce and strong his little Omega. 

_His Omega._

Ben tightens his hand around his knot as he tugs, rutting into his palm as he bites his lip and immerses himself in the idea of her. Of Rey. How she would look riding him her head thrown back, her fingernails biting into his stomach as she rocked and bounced and found her pleasure on his cock. How she’d gush around him when she finally came, coating him in her slick before crashing against him. He’d hold her tight then, hold her so sweetly and kiss her. He’d kiss her neck and her face and then he would hold tight while he fucked himself into oblivion. Their first time would be with her on top so she could adjust to his size but then… then he would take her from behind. 

He’d rut into her like an animal, her glads on display for him filling the air with that intoxicating scent of hers. He would pull her back onto him so that her back was arched and he could lick those glands. Her scent glad first, filling his mind with her unbelievable aroma before he licked her mating glad. It’s something he’s only seen in porn before but somehow the thought of it, of licking such a forbidden place is so much better than anything he might find on Omegatube. 

He can feel his balls tighten as he massages them gently. Maybe she would lick them, press kittenish kisses all over his balls as she worked her mouth along the underside of his dick. _Fuck_ , her mouth would feel amazing, hot and sweet as her tongue coating him in her saliva. On the next downstroke Ben squeezes the flesh of his knot, it’s red and inflamed and so desperate for an Omega that it makes him cry out. His stomach contracts as he pushes further into it, working his hand against the base as he thinks about how far down her lips would fall. If she could take him in all the way. Likely not. He’d hate to knot her mouth… better to think of her pretty little cunt. It would be pretty too, all pink and swollen and ready for him. 

She’d make such delicious little noises when he finally laid her out on his bed. Such a filthy mouth when she’s angry, always so angry and for some reason he finds that indescribably hot. He wonders if she would fuck like she fights, scratching and biting and clawing at his skin while he fucks into her. He’d like that he thinks, to feel her nails rake across his skin while he buried himself inside her. She would be so hot and warm. She’d call him names, filthy names that would sound like she was being mean when really… that would be their foreplay. That vicious banter.

He wouldn’t just fuck her though, oh no, he’d taste her too, lay her out like a buffet and run his tongue along every inch of her body. He would tease her like he’s teasing his knot, make her beg for it. He knows she would be stubborn about it, she wouldn’t want to give in… _fuck._

His breathing comes harder now his head filled with the sound of his own heartbeat hammering in his chest, the rushing of blood leaving him dizzy and desperate and it’s there… right _there_. He squeezes harder now, working himself into a fury. His abdominal muscles hurt beneath the strain of it, how viciously he fucks his own hand but he can’t think of that now. He can’t think of how close he is to coming because all he wants to think about is the taste of her slick as he licks at her cunt. She would make such pretty sounds, pretty sounds just for him. She would curse and pull his hair and just as she was about to peak her thighs would tighten around his ears and he would know he’d done his job well as an Alpha. 

His breath catches in his throat just then, his lips part as he grunts his release. His cock pulsing, his mind an explosion of sensation as it hits him hard. Ribbons of cum paint his abdomen and up his chest. Spilling out of him as he gasps for breath, clenching his teeth as the sticky fluid pools on his skin. There’s no point in trying to mitigate the damage. It’s done. He’s a mess of his own fluids and desire and as fast as the pleasure hits him it's gone again. 

Still the need for release lingers, as though he hasn’t just experienced the most intense orgasm of his life. It’s a fleeting thing his cock softening against his belly still wanting, still needing so much more then he’s able to reap from his hand alone. 

With that need comes anger. Hospitality and rage flooding his system as he lay there in his bed a victim of his own circumstance. Trapped within his designation and fuelled by a need to dominate and own and procreate. He doesn’t want kids, he’s only seventeen and yet the urge to fill his little Omega with his cum until she’s swollen with it and ready for pups…. is _everything_. 

“Fuck!” he hollers, already he can feel his treacherous cock getting hard again. His balls ache as they loosen ready to fuck and fight another day. He’s pathetic, pathetic Ben Solo who can’t control himself. Who gets too angry, who gets too intense, who cant manage in normal society on even the strongest of blockers. Fuck his life, fuck being an Alpha. Fuck needing to fuck and fuck that little Omega for being so sweet and… and… god how he _wants_ her. 

_ Fuck! _

Wrenching up off his bed, his body weary, legs still weak from the sudden rush of fluids Ben throws himself against his desk. His laptop, his books, a calculator, all of these things left from the day before sit staring at him. Mocking him. 

This is the life of a teenage boy, you aren’t a teenage boy Ben, you’re a fucking monster. 

He hisses as he squeezes the base of his erection hovering in the air like a dog waiting for a treat. A reminder of his need as his focus begins to sharpen into something dangerous again. His senses are filled with the lingering scent of her, and fuck if he doesn’t wish he had one of those Omega pocket pussies his father offered to buy him. He could text his father, he wasn’t home yet. 

The idea sends Ben into a rage. In one swipe of his arm everything on his desk crashes to the floor in a loud clattering bang. Searching for something, anything he can get his hands on he picks up his lamp and throws it against the wall. Knickknacks and treasures alike all get pulled down off of shelves and thrown against whatever surface is closest. His bookshelf, the tall one made form thick oak gets pulled down in a mad rush of books falling from shelves and picture frames breaking beneath its weight. He rips and tears and when he’s done, cum drying on his chest he takes himself in hand again and fucks into it until his cock feels raw and he’s coming all over again. 

After his fourth orgasm he picks at a protein bar, exhausted, shaking, and spent before crawling into his sheets and sleeping off the burning ache in his gut. He knows he doesn’t have long before he’s awake again and the rage and hormones overtake him. His room is a mess, it’s torn to shreds as nearly everything he owns lay broken on the floor. 

That's how his father finds him. A soft knock at the door and a warning that he's coming in. Han Solo has never been the wisest of men but he’s not afraid of his son. The door hitches against the downed bookshelf and it’s the loud thunking of his bedroom door hitting the thick wood that wakes Ben from his nap. 

Han curses, worrying his hand over the back of his neck as Ben nearly lunges for him, his sheets barely-there around his waist. He doesn’t register that he’s naked, nor that his father is the one standing in the doorway, only that this is another Alpha and Ben can’t get to his Omega so he must fight his way out. Fight his way to her. He has to… he has to protect her, he has to feel her… 

It’s a punch to the jaw that stalls him, then Han has him by the neck, his arms wound around Ben’s head and shoulders as he eases him to the floor. “Ben… Ben… come on son.” Han calls softly as Ben thrashes and struggles against him. “Benny I don’t want to do this… come on Ben it’s me. It’s Dad.” the words barely register and his body aches so badly.

“Ben, I’m not letting go until you calm down. I know you’re in a rut son but you’re going feral… take a breath kid. Come on, focus on my voice.” 

Ben growls and pulls, like an animal in a trap he strains against his father's body, “Benny, I need you to focus, your moms gonna be home in a bit and we’ll both be dead if she finds us like this.”

His mom… Ben stops a moment, his body slumping to the floor, “Good… good.” Han eases, “Can I let you go now?” Ben grumbles as he tries to pull his head through his father's arms, “No… no Ben stop.” when that doesn’t work Han tries a little firmer, “ _Benjamin, enough_.” Ben’s body goes limp, his legs no longer pushing against the hardwood. When his daze begins to shift the absurdity of the situation slowly starts to settle over him. He’s lying on the floor of his bedroom surrounded by the broken fragments of his life. Naked and hard. Held in place by his father. 

“Ok… I'm going to let you go and you’re going to cover yourself up.” Ben nods. 

When Han lets him go Ben scurries away from him, his back pressed against the foot of his bed so that he can cover himself with his fallen sheet. Not even the humiliation of his father witnessing all of _this_ is enough to put a damper on need surging through Ben’s body. Instead he sits with his knees tented, avoiding the fabric against his body as best he can while shielding the painfully obvious state of his need. “Fuck Dad…” his voice shakes as he buries his face in his hands. 

“Yeah… not an ideal situation for either of us.” Sitting back on his heels Han huffs a sigh, “I’ll tell you what we’re going to do here. You’re going to go and take a shower, you… well you smell son and you aren’t out of the woods by a long shot. I picked you up…” When Ben opens his mouth to argue Han merely raises his voice so he’s talking over the interruption, “I picked you up something that’ll help. I know you didn’t want it but… trust me you’re going to need it. Take it in the shower with you. I'm going to try and clean up this mess.” Looking around surveying the damage Han casts Ben an appraising gaze, “you don’t do anything half-assed do you?”

“Never did.”

“Don’t know if that's a me thing or a Leia thing but shit… did you really break that Dameron kid's nose?”

“I didn’t stick around to find out.” 

Han’s laugh is gruff and gravelly as he shakes his head and moves to stand, “Don’t worry about it his Dad and I go way back. Kes is a good guy… I’ll talk to him.” 

When he thinks his father is done, Ben pushes himself back against his bed forcing himself up along its frame until he’s sitting at the end of it. He just needs to get away from his father and hide, “It true some girl went into heat in the middle go gym class?” Ben nods, “Her parents didn’t think to keep her home?” 

Ben has to think a moment, he doesn’t know Rey well but there’s something in the back of his mind that tells him maybe she lives with an uncle… or maybe… some other relative. “I don’t think she has… parents.” he offers softly, trying to curb his father's anger while trying in vain to also protect the Omega. 

“Doesn’t have parents…” Han starts, his hazel eyes like twin storm clouds widen just fractionally, his nostrils flaring, “Not the Niima kid.” Ben just nods again, it’s all it seems he’s able to do. Han curses under his breath, turning to punch a fist lightly against the doorframe. “Ok… ok kid. You go… go take care of yourself and I’ll get started in here. Just pray we can get this taken care of before big Boss lady gets home.”  


Confused Ben does as he’s told. Wrapping the sheet around his waist he grabs his housecoat from behind his door. His father gives him an encouraging nod as Ben slips through the door. He doesn’t mean to linger but his brain isn’t working well and as he stands stock still in the hallway he can hear his father as he putters around Ben’s room. It sounds like he’s picking things up or maybe just pushing them around with his toe. After a minute, Han starts to talk. He’s talking about Rey and a guy named Unkar. It sounds like he might be talking to Ben’s Uncle Luke but Ben doesn’t linger long enough to really find out. He needs to get in the shower. His balls throb as an aggressive reminder of his other needs, groaning as he sees the black bag on the kitchen counter waiting for him. 

It's mortifying that his father bought him a sex toy even more so he had to wrestle Ben to the ground while he was naked and fucking hard. 

Fuck

The next few days are really going to suck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would he be Ben Solo if he wasn't an angsty fuck? No... Teenage Ben Solo I imagine to be worse.  
> Again, I'm new to the Omegaverse, I've read a lot of different interpretations and I just kind of went with... well whatever came out when I typed really. so... that happened.  
> Let me know what you think friends 
> 
> Come say Hello on [The Twitter](https://twitter.com/rebelscumreylo)


	3. A night like this is beggin' to pull me apart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Omega’s lives become defined by their designation.”
> 
> “So are Alpha’s.” he urges, his voice hitching as he watches her swallow.
> 
> “Not. the same. way.” she’s shaking her head suddenly and the buns at the back of it bobble shaking free more strands of hair as she does, “We are expected to mate, to breed and propagate and live our lives beneath the shadow of our mate. Our Alpha. As if we’re worth nothing more then the parts between our legs and the ability to pop out children.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up, there are mentions of 'Omega issues' being women's issues in this chapter. They come up in conversation, things like rape, in-cel culture, abduction and murder. It comes up in conversation, it's mentioned in a small span but I just wanted to make sure I put it out there in case it bothers anyone.

In all Ben misses about a week of school which, in retrospect doesn’t exactly suck. His mother, as the principal of Alderaan high kept him home to make sure it was entirely out of his system before sending Ben back into the student body again. Ruts are known to make Alpha’s particularly sensitive and Ben is someone who doesn’t need any more fuel on that particular fire. He already has a name for himself as being someone most students don’t want to cross. In fact, most students give him a rather wide birth when they see him at school. 

Sure, they come to the hockey games and cheer him on. They make signs with his number on them and paint their faces calling his name as they bang their fists against their seats. Solo, not Ben, very few people actually call him by his given name. Most of them people who have known him since he was a boy. His parent's friends or his friend's parents, those sorts of people. Afterwards the team always gets showered in praise, win or lose. Some of his fellow classmates will comment on a shot, maybe tell him how impressed they were with his skating but it all ends there. On the ice he’s a star but everywhere else he’s nothing more than a brooding and moody teenager who’s known for his monosyllabic answers and his inability to crack a smile.

He’s the principal's son after all and an Alpha on top of all that, there isn’t a box that he really fits into much to his mother's chagrin. He tries though, at least, he tries to seem like he’s trying. He’s not put out by the fact that most of the student population find him intimidating. He has friends, or well, he has teammates which include Poe and Hux. Two boys he’s known since he was young who have, somehow managed to stay his friends through all his moody bullshit. 

Hell he’d broken Poe’s nose and while Poe will never let him live it down, it also didn’t stop him from texting Ben while he was out. 

His friends were annoyed with him maybe even a little worried. His mom on the other hand?

She was pissed to put it lightly. After he’d come down from his rut high that is. The long and painful talk they’d had afterwards was one that would stick with him for the rest of his existence. She’d raised him better than that. There is no need, at any time for violence and Ben's personal favourite, the lecture on what the world expects of him as an Alpha. It was a talk they'd have and would likely still have many times over because apparently his mother is some sort of sadist. 

Yes, his mother was pissed while Poe it turns out was rather ok with the broken nose. It got him sympathy from the others which he played up the week Ben had been away. As another Alpha he understood and left it at that. No more talking about it, hatchet buried.

Ben suspected it may have had more to do with the number of times he found himself in the centre of a scrimmage on the ice as a result of Poe’s stupid fucking mouth. Either way, the topic was dropped and Ben was happy to keep it that way. Hux on the other hand was not as smooth or understanding. He asked questions and made snide comments needling at Ben until he snapped and push Armitage against the locker, arm pinned across the redhead's chest. 

He wondered if it was normal to feel so on edge this long after a rut. He’d only ever experienced the one other and it had been a whirlwind filled with crying and jerking off until he was raw. This time was different, it _felt_ different. Like there was a biological need he needed to meet and ignoring it had felt like something under his skin was trying to dig its way out. Even now his clothing feels too tight, his mind a jittering mess of agitation. Luckily Ben Solo was known for being a brooding mountain of a teenager so he was able to lean into it a bit.

Really it only lasted a day before the subtle scent of his fellow schoolmates was tolerable and he didn’t want to punch Hux for not shutting his mouth while he chewed. Well… he still wanted to punch him for it he just was able to control the urge a lot better than the day prior.

Another week in and Rey still hadn’t come back to school. It wasn’t uncommon for newly presented Omega’s to need a little time. Everyone always talked about how rough a first heat could be. Rey was likely no exception to that rule no matter how she might hate it. Still, three weeks was an inordinately long time for heat break.

Ben didn’t care though, he didn’t, not really. Her scent had all but faded from his mind and he was finally able to breathe again without worrying. 

Still. Even with her scent gone he couldn’t get her out of his head. He didn’t even know her and she’d taken up residence there like a squatter. He began obsessing about what it was that might be so special about her. She was crass, rude, loud, ostentatious, overly opinionated and still… still he felt this pull to her like she'd tied a string around his middle and was constantly giving it a tug.

Even her friends didn’t seem to have any idea what was going on. Armitage had somehow managed to get in with Rey’s friend Rose. The two were sniffing around each other, or dating or whatever kids were calling it these days. Ben hadn’t asked because he didn’t want to make an issue of it but it came up one day over lunch. Rose was perched on Hux’s lap while he fed her pizza, it was nauseating the way they made goo goo eyes at each other and pretended the world at large didn’t exist. It was somewhere between the first bite and the seventh that Rose brought Rey up. Ben wasn’t exactly paying attention. At least he hadn’t been until that part. 

“She just sort of disappeared. She isn’t returning any of our calls or texts. I'm actually getting concerned.” Rose offers Hux lightly. She hadn’t been talking to Ben. He still made her a little nervous. He made most people nervous though so that was no real shock. Rose had seen him punch Poe though. Rose was close with Finn and Finn was close with Poe so the two had talked about it a lot it seems while Ben was out for his masturbation sabbatical. 

“Have you tried going by her house?” Hux asks, offering Rose a sip from his coke. Coke he didn’t start drinking until recently because apparently it was Rose's favourite. The pussy-whipped fuck. 

“Kay and I both went by yesterday. No car in the driveway, the doors were locked up.”

“You tried the doors?” Ben doesn’t realize he’s speaking out loud until he sees Rose staring at him. Whoops.

“Well duh, yeah. She’s been MIA for three weeks now.” 

“Isn’t heat break usually only a week?” Ben finds himself asking, he’s not entirely sure why, just that the words keep falling from his lips and he can do absolutely nothing to stop them. “Not that I would know…”

“Yeah yeah, no need for the mighty Alpha to pay attention to our lovely Omega issues.” Rose chirped bitterly. 

“Babe, maybe lay off Solo,” 

“Didn’t you just take a week off for your… _issue_?” It’s hard to miss the way Rose’s cheeks flush when she brings up Ben’s… issue. It’s uncommon for teenage males to go into a rut like that. It’s only happened two other times at the school making Ben lucky number three. People usually assume that the surge of hormones consistent with teenage growth would make it more likely for them to go into heat or rut spontaneously. It turns out the opposite is true. Because the fluctuation of hormones is so unpredictable it’s less likely to see surges enough to warrant entering into such a state. Usually when it happens it’s due to a catalyst. In Ben’s case, a newly presenting Omega going into her first heat. 

“My mother insisted I stay home.” 

“Rosie, sweetheart, seriously, don’t antagonize Ben ok. Lando almost gave him the shot, That shit is scary.”

Ben almost misses the soft way Rose says, “ _Maybe he should have_.” but it's out in the air and she can’t take it back. 

He shouldn’t care… he tells himself he doesn’t not really. Her words mean nothing only… only they’re the truth. Ben had been a monster, he’d gone feral and the only reason he hadn’t been given the shot was because Ben grew up with Lando always around. 

Slamming his fists against the table, Ben glowers at no one in particular before he pushes himself back and steps away. His meal barely touched he grabs his backpack and turfs the food before stalking out of the cafeteria. He can hear Hux calling after him but he doesn’t care. Fuck that Ginger fuck and fuck his her Omega girlfriend or whatever the fuck she is to him.

How is it possibly Ben still has any friends left?

Not sure whether to play hooky or not Ben finds himself knocking on the door to his mothers office. She takes her lunch here instead of in the staffroom with the rest of the teachers claiming it’s more efficient. Truthfully she admitted on more than on occasion it’s a matter of sanity, a way to catch a small break in the run of a chaotic day.

Her secretary, a sweet older lady named Maz smiles at Ben and tells him to go and wait in Leia’s office she won’t be gone long. She's at a meeting off school grounds but is due back any minute. 

More than ok with the idea of missing the beginning of his Global Geography Studies class Ben pulls out _A Heart of Darkness_ and delves into the pages. It’s a boring book but Kenobi promised they could watch the movie adaptation if everyone did well on the quiz next week so Ben muddles through. Apparently it’s a novel everyone at a university level has read at some point or another. Kenobi’s just preparing them for a higher education. It sounds like more Kenobi bullshit but the reading wasn’t hard. 

Leia finds her way back into her office about fifteen minutes after Ben takes his seat. There's a flurry of scent rolling off of her, she's annoyed verging on angry, he recognizes it because those are feelings Ben tends to provoke in his mother. This time, her agitation isn't directed at him, there's something there, a worry, a faint tinge of sugar that pricks at Ben's nose throwing him off.

“Benji,” she startles upon closing the door. How she’d missed him is a mystery. He’s not exactly the sort to blend into the background all six foot three of him slumped into a chair, “Jesus, shouldn’t you be in class? You didn’t get into a fight again did you? God damnit Ben…”

“As always your ability to assume the worst is a marvel mother.” Ben offers sardonically, “No, I left before I hit anyone. No one was threatened, everyone is safe. I just…” he huffs, leaving his book open against his leg, pages pressed against his black jeans, “Is Rey ok?”

Leia looks at him a moment, pulling off her silk scarf as she drapes her jacket over the back of her office chair and there it is again, that sprinkling of sugary something, not his mother's scent but something familiar. She’s careful, his mother, she plays a lot of things close to the chest. A trait he imagines comes in handy when being the principal of a school as large as Alderaan High. She has tells though. Like the way her right pointer finger twitches when she’s put in a difficult position. It usually means she’s going to avoid the truth at all costs without actually lying about it. If it's one thing Leia hates more then violence, it’s lying. Lying only comes first because she was forced to reevaluate her stance on violence when Ben started playing hockey at the age of six. 

“Rey who dear?” Yep, here it goes, the merry go round of bullshit.

“You know who I’m talking about,” he levels her cooly doing his best to keep his face impassive. He can’t let her know that he’s worried or that he’s invested anymore then idle curiosity into the thought.

Leia bites her lips, another tell. Ben knows this one well because it’s one of his too. Something they both do when they’re nervous. “Niima mother, Rey Niima,” _the girl who’s heat threw me into a violent rut_ goes left unsaid but he can see the way his mother's mind works over them. 

After a moment his mother sits down across from him, folding her arms against the desk as she levels him with an impatient sort of grin, “I can’t talk to you about that Benji,” the truth was not what he’d been expecting. Normally they’d dance around the subject a few more times before she got frustrated and exploded at him to drop it but no. Not this time. 

“Is it because of… is it because it’s me?” _did I fuck up?_ he wants to ask as something that feels a little like panic runs rampant through his veins “Is she ok Mom, that’s all I want to know.” 

“Sweetheart, I can’t have this conversation with you,” the patience is new and strange, as though she can see the way his mind is working through this, “It has nothing to do with you, I will tell you that. Miss Niima was unaware and unaffected by your sudden… state.” 

It feels like a weight has been lifted, like strain has been taken off but still, there’s that lingering crushing feeling. Like things have only shifted. He wants… no he _needs_ to know that she's ok. He doesn’t know how to explain it to his mother but he… there’s this burning need to know that she’s not hurt or alone. That she doesn’t need him. 

_Fool, of course she doesn’t need you_. His mind supplies bitterly. 

“Benji I wish I could give you the answers you want—“

“—Stop calling me Benji mom” they say at once and Ben is on his feet too quickly. He has his book dog eared and shoved back into his backpack, the strap thrown over his shoulder carefully as he lingers a moment, “I’m just going to leave.”

“Do you need a late slip for—“

“—No I mean I’m leaving for the afternoon. I’m going to hit the ice.” 

“Ben you can’t skip class.” Leia huffs as her hands spread out over the surface of her desk. Ben can hear the way her rings clink together, as her fingers shift. They both know she isn’t going to do anything. 

“You going to report me?” A brow quirked in challenge Ben waits for her answer. She’s flustered, her cheeks flushed as she presses her lips together harshly. Another tell, a sign that she’s pissed off because she’s been backed into a corner. “Didn’t think so.”

“Ben!”

“Mom!” he mimics casting her a wave over his shoulder as he slumps out of the room. He needs to clear his head and the ice is the only place he can do that. He’d driven today which means escaping is a much easier task. 

Slipping out the back door by the art room Ben finds himself in the east parking lot. It’ a quiet area behind the school where the stoners mostly park. It’s easier to smoke a joint between class when you’re hidden away behind the school. Surprisingly no one is there, not a single soul. It's for the best, Ben isn’t really looking to have to explain himself. Being the son of the Principal is a huge pain in the ass most days. While some might think that having your mom as the head of the school might be incredibly advantageous. Those some would be very wrong. 

Instead Ben exists beneath a microscope. Every decision he makes is relayed over and over until it reaches his mother. He has no privacy, no anonymity and in a school with over fifteen hundred kids one would expect, sports star or not he would have some degree of privacy. 

No such luck. 

What a fucking joke. 

After throwing his backpack into the back of his old civic, the one he bought with his own money because Han thought it would make him appreciate it more. Ben climbs into the driver's seat and just sort of… stares. Hockey season is over so he could just go home and smoke a joint, put some ridiculously shitty movie on and eat his weight in popcorn. That would be a lot of popcorn. Or he could hit up the ice and skate his anxieties out. His skates are still in his back seat, his hockey gear in his trunk getting riper and riper by the day. He’d have to take it out tonight to air it out before giving it a good wash. His mother was going to be pissed he left it so long but… well… shit happens.

Rink it is.

There are four rinks in Alderaan which is surprising for the size of the community. One of those rinks shuts down shortly after hockey season ends, one is attached to the school, that one Ben vehemently avoids. One is housed within the local community sportsplex and then there’s the one that his Uncle Luke runs. 

The sportsplex, like the school rink is out of the question so that leaves his Ben only one option. It’s not that it’s a bad option, Luke generally keeps out of Ben’s way and Ben in-kind offers Luke the same liberties. They’re… different as far as people go. Close in the way that most families are but their relationship has never been what anyone would consider friendly. Terse maybe. Passably acceptable at best. Ben has never really been sure what he did to deserve his uncle's passive idea of familial warmth but then again he’s never really asked. 

Despite all that Luke still entrusted him with a key to the rink under the understanding that Ben is responsible for anything that happens. Thankfully all Ben wants to do is skate and Luke it turns out is actually in the building somewhere, likely the office going over paperwork. His beat-up old Ford ranger sitting in the parking lot. 

Grabbing his skates out of the back seat Ben makes his way to the doors, shoulders slumped. It’s locked as he figured it would be but a quick turn of key and he’s in. It’s cool inside and smells like deep-fried french fries. The ice is pristine, Luke’s old Zamboni sitting on the edge of the clean surface. This is Ben’s favourite time to be here, quiet and alone the world empty and cool around him. He’s always run hot both in temperament and temperature so the rink’s atmosphere acts like a balm against his mind and soul. 

After lacing up his skate Ben tosses his shoes and his jacket on a bench near the gate. He pops his earbuds in, slams on a playlist, something aggressive but not too heavy and hits the ice. The first glide is like magic. His feet slide along the surface with grace and easy most wouldn’t attribute to a brute like Ben Solo. He sweeps around pushing faster and faster as he makes his way in a loop. The cool air against his face feels like home, not something he usually gets to experience when his face is stuffed in a helmet for hours at a time. Even in practice their coach hates them to go without. Accidents happen and all that. 

One loop, one pass and then another. It’s strange to skate in jeans, the tight material stifling his movements as his feet pass one over the other. He turns, skating backwards a bit before crossing over and arching through another bend.

Ever since he was a kid this has been the only thing that truly calms him. The freedom to let loose and just be. Skating has always felt close to flying for Ben. Like if he closed his eyes and let himself focus on nothing more then the sensation of it all he could image nothing but open sky. It’s a childish thought that he dismisses quickly. Bending into the motion as he begins to really push himself. His quads burn beneath the effort but Ben pushes harder and harder. Each push guides him through, his body bent, arms pumping. 

Sweat beads on his forehead as he rounds the gate and keeps on going. He could do this for hours, he has done this for hours. The sound of his playlist hammering in his ears. 

_Back in school they never taught us what we needed to know like how to deal with despair or someone breakin' your heart_

His eyes burn against the air the faster he pushes himself. He can feel his heartbeat humming smoothly as he rounds another corner too fast sprays the sideboard with ice shavings. He has to stop then, panting as he gropes along the siding before pushing himself off. A ragged mess of teenage angst, what a joke. 

_They say you need to pray if you want to go to heaven but they don't tell you what to say when your whole life has gone to Hell!_

The lyrics rattle around in his mind, they don’t mean much or maybe they do. He can’t tell anymore. He just needs something to focus on, something that’s not the tanned and freckled face of an infuriating female. Something that’s not the girl he’s spent the last three weeks fantasizing about. 

The girl who he doesn’t want to be worried about because he barely knows her. Because the one interaction he’s had with her was nothing more than an exercise in keeping his cool because my god she’s infuriating. So god damn infuriating and beautiful and she smells… fuck.

Pushing himself harder he breathes through his nose sweeping around the rink in another fluid pass. He almost wishes he had a hockey stick, because this isn’t enough. She’s still there flooding his senses. The sound of her voice when she hollered _Alpha_ at him like it was supposed to be a curse. He’d played it over and over in his head so many times, deconstructed each syllable until the word had no meaning and yet it meant everything. She was so mad but there was a breathy hitch at the end that he could almost allow himself to think was meant more as a plea than an insult. The wicked way she growled out ‘ _give it to me_ ,’ like she was asking for more than just her Jack. 

He’s grasping at straws and putting meaning in places where there is none to be had. She hates him, he’s an Alpha, the worst kind at that. The kind who loses control and goes feral. 

He’d gone feral. _Fuck._

On his next lap Ben closes his eyes and inhales sharply. It’s insane because it’s been three weeks and he thought she was out of his system. He thought he was free of her scent and yet there it is mixed in with the crisp cold scent of the rink. Sugar and maple and something so sweet it melts on his tongue and sets his insides on fire. When he finally opens his eyes, knowing the end of the ice is coming close, he loops, one foot over the other until he’s come around again. His eyes burn as the air whooshes passed him and that smell, its everywhere making him gasp which as it turns out is the worst thing he could do. It invades his lungs causing him to stumble tripping on his feet until he's spread out on the ice like a starfish. He hasn’t fallen like this in years. The ice, cool against his back as his skin feels flush. He’s left staring at the lights hanging from the rafters. 

_Is that what you call tact? You're as subtle as a brick in the small of my back so let's end this call and end this conversation_

It feels like he can’t breathe in through his mouth, like every breath taken is nothing more than an assault on his senses. He’s drowning in her again and none of it makes sense. Even in this scared place she’s taunting him. This girl he barely knows. This girl that he wants to know but doesn’t know how to. Who he may never even get the chance to because she’s… 

With a groan Ben slams his fists against the ice and pushes himself up. Sitting up his eyes focus and readjust and she’s there. Just there on the other side of the plexiglass. He can tell it’s her because of that scent but also that stupid hairstyle. Those three buns going down the back of her head like some bastardized version of a mohawk. Stray strands hang free framing her face, a face that’s so beautiful when it smiles because she is smiling. In fact, she’s laughing 

Her mouth is broad and bright, more teeth then lip as she cackles with glee before realizing he’s now staring at her. With a start she stops looking almost like a child caught peeping on her parents when she knows she’s supposed to be in bed. Her mouth drops and it’s painful, physically painful for him to witness. As though the mere idea of him looking at her brings her displeasure. He can’t help it, he wants to see her smile again. He wants to hear that laugh. Her scent spikes, confusion mixed with something, maybe anger, maybe something else he can’t tell but as he raises to his feet dusting himself off she starts to glare.

What the hell is she doing here anyway? He knows he locked the door after he came in and he’s seen no one coming in or out since then. Did she break it? 

Absently he thinks, she does sort of seem the type but to what end?

About to open his mouth to speak she shoots him the finger. One fine, delicate middle finger thrust in his direction with such hostility it rattles him. Her lips are moving but all he can hear are the lyrics belted out by Jesse Lacey until he pops his earbuds out and she stalls. 

How can one human being be so incredibly perfect and unbelievably annoying all at the same time? He hears her now, something that sounds like, “ _Alpha prick_ ,” but his damn brain won’t let him focus on anything other than the word Alpha. It spins through his brain coating it in a sticky film until it’s all he can hear. _Alpha, Alpha, Alpha_. She’s screaming it at him and it shouldn't be a turn on, it really shouldn’t but for some reason beyond Ben’s comprehension, his cock stirs within his pants. Despite the cold, despite the tight confines of his jeans, despite it being completely illogical, his stupid dick feels the need to respond to her. 

Skating towards her is ill-advised but he does so anyway. He’s lost on the way she’s staring at him, a mixture of contempt and curiosity. She’s safe behind the plexiglass, far from any gate or the hockey benches but still he can see her take a step back as he gets closer. She’s in a beige sweater that falls over her shoulder showing off the black strap of her bra and tank top beneath and a pair of overalls. It shouldn’t be sexy, Ben hates overalls. He thinks they make women look like children when they wear them but on Rey… 

“Shouldn’t you be in school,” She bites out harshly, her hands bracketing her hips as she stares down at him. The seating arrangement around the rink is a few feet higher than the ice itself giving her the high ground. Even with Ben on skates she’s still hovers over him. 

“Could say the same for you,” he simpers softly. It seems to catch her off guard, her lips pursed as she glowers at him. Maybe it’s the words she wasn’t expecting, or the tone in which he uses but there’s something in her posture that makes him push. He’s not sure why, his mind tells him to be gentle, to soothe his Omega but she’s not _his_ Omega and she’s doing everything in her power to antagonize him, “You’ve been out since you presented… we’ve missed you.” 

He can see her nostrils flare, her eyes darken and it makes him wonder if she’s as affected by his scent as he is to hers. It’s unlikely, not with the way her brow furrows suddenly and she growls, “Fuck. Off.” through her teeth. No… that’s contempt right there. He can smell it but it even that doesn’t taste the way it should. It’s not bitter like when other Omegas have gotten upset with him it's more like burnt marshmallows and sugar melted on snow. Like nothing she does could ever turn him off. The funny part is, he hates sugar candies, he takes his coffee black (like his soul Hux would say) and he’s never been a fan of anything too sweet.

Why then, did she make him want to taste her like a lollypop. Make him want to feel her sugary sweetness dissolve on his tongue like cotton candy. He hates cotton candy but he thinks he might not hate it so much if it came in the shape of Rey. 

“What? Not happy with your new designation?” He pushes, arms crossed against his chest, “biologies a bitch isn’t it?” 

Rey looks like she wants to physically attack him and Ben isn’t entirely sure he’d be disappointed if she did. What was it his parents use to say when he was younger. Pulling a girl's pigtails was a little boy's way of telling her that he liked her. That was how they’d explained Jessika Pava’s need to constantly go around stuffing his shorts with sand. Was he just pulling Rey’s pigtails? 

“What would you even know about it?” Her voice is dark as she mirrors his stance. His feet are getting cold in his skates from the lack of movement but it doesn’t matter because he has her attention and that’s all he can focus on. Her lip curled up in a sneer as she huffs, “Alpha bullshit thinking they know best.” 

“Oh fuck off,” Ben grumbles, “You don’t know me, you met me once at a party and suddenly you know everything about me.”

“I know you’re an Alpha.” 

“You don’t even know what that means.” he barks, his voice echoing through the area causing her to start. “You ever stop and think that it’s hard for us too?” 

Rey scoffs and Ben wants to swallow the sound, to take her body and hold it against his own. To feel her, to own her, to protect her. 

“You have no idea. You’re just some little girl with some fucking chip on her shoulder who thinks they understand the way the world works. Maybe educate yourself first before you start going on about some Alpha regime as though we’re out to fucking take over the world.” working his fingers through his hair Ben huffs, his breath curling into the air in tendrils of steam, “You Omegas… you think you’re all hard done by, there are worse things in the world than having someone want to take care of you you know.”

Her laugh is bitter as she throws her head back. His eyes take in the length of her throat, the scent glads there beneath her ear that are pink and slightly irritated maybe from the cold, making his mouth water by merely existing. It’s distracting and proving his point though she’s oblivious to it, “Omega’s lives become defined by their designation.”

“So are Alpha’s.” he urges, his voice hitching as he watches her swallow.

“Not. the same. way.” she’s shaking her head suddenly and the buns at the back of it bobble shaking free more strands of hair as she does, “We are expected to mate, to breed and propagate and live our lives beneath the shadow of our mate. _Our Alpha_. As if we’re worth nothing more then the parts between our legs and the ability to pop out children.”

“That’s an archaic way of thinking about it. You know that’s not the way things are now. There are fewer and fewer mated Alpha and Omega pairings. Fewer children born to either designation.” 

“That makes it worse Ben, how can’t you see it? These Alt-right movements who want to use Omegas for breeding purposes. Not to mention the hell that is our heat cycles. Even our bodies are telling us we need something more, that we will never be enough even for ourselves.”

Ben never put much stock into the Alpha in-cells who blame Omega’s for everything wrong with the world. Why would he? They were a crazed few who’s ideals were laughable and unrealistic. No one took them seriously so why be afraid of them? But it’s there, right there buried beneath the marshmallow and the maple and the fucking vanilla that radiate from her skin. The tinge of something… of fear. She believes what she’s saying she isn’t just being inflammatory. She’s not fighting for the sake of fighting she’s fighting for something. Her rights as an Omega… as a person as she sees it. 

This isn’t about digging in and pissing him off this is about a genuine fear she has for her life. It grabs him by the balls, causing his stomach to roil. His mind screams ' _protect her, protect her, protect her.'_ Make it right but he’s a seventeen-year-old boy with anger issues so instead he says, “You’re being ridiculous.” why? He’s not entirely sure. Maybe he wants the reaction, maybe he wants to see what she’ll say. Maybe he’s just mad that he can’t make it better and he’s taking it out on her. 

“Whatever Solo…” 

“Look I’m not saying there aren’t people out there but they’re idiots.” 

“Dangerous idiot,”

“Idiots all the same. They have no power.”

That’s when she steps forward, her spine straight as she says, “There were four Omega women abducted last month just before their heat was supposed to begin. Two of them were found murdered last week, one managed to escape, the other is still missing. This is real life, Ben. This shit happens.” 

He only vaguely remembers hearing about it even then the fact that these women were abducted before their heat had begun hadn’t registered. It hadn’t really mattered until now, not really. His mother had spoken about it with his father but Ben excused himself from the supper table and went to work on his slap shot in the garage. He hadn’t been listening then but he’s listening _now_. He’s hearing everything she’s saying without saying anything at all and it drives him crazy, “I… I’m sorry.” he offers, “I just… we’re not all like that.” 

“I heard about what happened in gym class… after I left.” Ooooooooof course she did, “You broke Poe’s nose.” 

Fuck. Here it comes. 

“Jess said you went feral.” 

“Pava?” Jessika Pava had it out for him since the were in ninth grade and he told her he didn’t want to go to the formal with her. He didn’t want to go to the formal at all, it didn’t make her special. She however did not take it that way. Particularly after Poe and Hux managed to drag him along anyway. Ever since then She’d made it her mission in life to antagonize and drag his name through the mud. Of course Pava would say something like that. Never mind that it was true. 

“What do you want me to say?” 

“Oh I don’t know, the truth. Did it happen?”

“Poe’s nose is broken isn’t it?” He really doesn’t want to say it, he doesn’t want to admit it, for her to know what he did, what happened. It’s embarrassing and it’s pathetic and he’d doubled his dosage of blockers after that and still… still he can smell her. Still she is everywhere, suffocating him slowly. 

“Did you go feral?” 

He wants to tell her to fuck off, the words are there on his tongue like bitter poison but instead he cries out pathetically, “Yes, ok? Yes, yes I did. It was horrible and embarrassing and honestly one of the worst days of my life. I totalled my room, I attacked my dad. Lando almost gave me the shot. Fuck, is that what you want to hear? That I’m some pathetic human who can’t control himself?” Without thinking he starts to skate in small circles. He needs to keep moving, needs to stop himself from saying or doing something he’ll regret. The smooth slide of the ice beneath his blades is calming. He can’t look at her but he can feel her eyes as they watch, as they survey and judge. She’s judging him and he hates it because in all honesty he feels like he deserves it.

When his feet finally let him stop he’s facing her again. Sliding his skates back and forth over the ice to keep something inside him moving. She’s just starting and he wishes she’d stop because when she looks at him like this, with brown eyes so wide and open it makes him feel far too seen. Vulnerable in a way he doesn’t like feeling. 

“Just another fucking Alpha who can’t control himself,” he says bitterly. 

“I never said that.” 

“You didn’t fucking have to, ok? I get it. We’re all the same, oppressive and dominating assholes. Aggressive, out of control.”  


“I didn’t say that,” she says again only this time it sounds like she’s trying to make him believe it. 

“You know… it’s funny. In all your Omega hating on Alpha bullshit did you ever stop and think that the Omega’s might be the ones with the real power here? Alpha commands can get you charged but there’s nothing stopping Omega’s from manipulating Alphas.”

“That’s white male privilege if I ever heard it.” It’s also a huge heaping pile of victim-blaming but why stop now Ben?

“Maybe,” he offers a small shrug, “You focus on an Alpha’s need to fuck and dominate,” he doesn’t care how crass he sounds he’s beyond niceties at this point, “What about the other things?”

Her voice is soft, like wind through an open window when she asks, “What other things?” 

“An alpha’s need to protect and provide? It’s not just about sex… I mean a lot of it is, yes but we feel this… this drive to care for to the point that it becoming obsessive. Some people take advantage of that.”

“You’re comparing being used to being raped and murdered?” 

“It can’t just be that it sucks for either of us huh? It’s always a game of it’s worse for me?”He hates the way it sounds when the words fall from his lips but they’re there, they've been said and he can’t take them back no matter how much he might want to. 

Stumbling forward, Ben watches as Rey approaches the plexiglass. There’s less than two feet between them now and when she inhales through her mouth he watches as her face changes. There’s annoyance and rage but then something warm, something that looks a little like want swallowed up by shock tumbling back into that blistering heat of anger all over again. She’s so close he could almost touch her and without thinking he raises his arm to do so pressing his hand into the clear surface that separates them. His skates bump into siding with a loud bang which startles Rey but not quite enough to stop her because she’s right there and she’s everything he’s ever wanted in his life. He wonders if she knows that, can she scent it on him? How desperate he is? How much he wants to protect her, to keep her safe? 

As she raises her hand Ben feels his heartbeat erupt in a steady chorus through his body. It hammers in his ears until all he can hear is that steady thump that is less of a thud and sounds more like her name. A steady chant of _Rey, Rey, Rey_ filling his mind. Then, her hand slams into the plexiglass, middle finger extended as she adds the other for good measure. As though one middle finger wasn’t enough to drive the point home. She presses her knuckles against the clear surface to the point that it almost looks like it might hurt. 

It might be insulting if it wasn’t so funny and before he knows what's come over him Ben is laughing. He’s laughing loud and hard straight from his gut and Rey looks… well she looks pissed off and he loves it. He pushes himself away from the sideboards, gliding backwards and away in one easy motion, “See you round little Omega.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't intend for this to come across so angsty but teenage Rey and Ben are a mess it seems. I've read Ben done in so many amazing ways and originally I wanted him to be a little sweeter but it wouldn't work with the dynamic that I've built up between he and Rey. SO! Angsty teenage Ben it is then. Hope you all enjoyed it!  
> The song Ben is listening to is [Seventy times 7 by Brand New](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hxdDvMEci6M%5D). They've been one of my go-to angry bands since I was a teenager so it seemed fitting. 
> 
> Come say hellooooo on [The Twitter!](https://twitter.com/rebelscumreylo)


	4. There's no place that I would rather be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “That shit screw with your blockers?” he questions carefully, not quite casual but not quite a warning all the same. It seems oddly placed at first but after thinking about it a moment Ben realizes it probably has something to do with Luke’s new lady friend.
> 
> “Does it screw up yours?”
> 
> Han barks out a laugh, idly scratching the back of his neck, “No, if anything it makes it so I can’t scent a damn thing,” a soft pause and Han adds, “maybe that’s for the best right now.”
> 
> “Afraid I’ll embarrass you guys in front of Luke’s new girlfriend?” Ben asks bitterly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your support and love everyone!!  
> Not sure what happened the first time I posted this it went all screwy so here goes attempt number 2
> 
> I've updated the Tags and To be safe there's Content Warning posted in the endnotes. Nothing huge but a just incase.  
> The chapter count has gone up as well. I thought I had a solid idea where I wanted this to end and then I just kept adding content and back story turning this into something more than a quick and easy little story. I currently have 6 more chapters written and I THINK there will be a few more before I get where I want to go with the conclusion. I blame So Long Astoria. Every time I listen to that album I end up getting more ideas... sorrynotsorry

Rey doesn’t return to school for the rest of the year. She’s gone completely MIA with the exception of that one interaction Ben had with her in Luke’s rink. Even still he half worries he may have dreamt it up. None of her friends have seen or heard from her and Leia has been silent as the grave. Nothing new really, keeping him in the dark about things is sort of a family tradition. It would be weird if she were to start actually telling him things now. He’d even reached out to Luke asking him what Rey may have been doing at the arena but Luke proves to be as cryptic as ever.

Exams are a bitch, Ben immediately regrets loading up on all of his harder courses in grade eleven. Having a smooth grade twelve year cannot be worth the hell of Advanced Math twelve, Advanced Bio and English all in the span of three tight days. Not to mention the Geography Global studies exam and his Chemistry exam that at least fall a day apart.

When all is said and done Ben wants nothing more than to sleep for a week. No two. He wants to sleep for two straight weeks. Instead, he raids his father's secret stash rolls himself a joint and climbs up onto the roof of the garage. His mother told him not to make plans that night because Luke was coming over for supper which means smoking this joint is definitely in Ben’s best interest.

The air has been unseasonably warm as of late leaving the air muggy and thick. Ben, who had already gone for a run that morning is still wearing his muscle shirt and work out shorts. With school over and no real social plans on the docket, there's no real need to impress anyone so why change? 

In all honesty, before his mother cornered him about tonight's dinner Ben figured he'd just go for another run. Instead, here he is, laying back staring at the sky, smoke coiling into the air waiting for the dreaded moment when he gets called in to face his uncle. Like they're all one big happy family. His mother has such an odd way of viewing things. She knows Ben and Luke barely get along and yet she always manages to force them together. Trying to get them to bond over hockey or something equally asinine.

Ben knows Luke’s story like the back of his hand. He’s had it shoved down his throat enough times he could play Luke in a made for TV movie. Like Ben, Luke started hockey young, like Ben, Luke played in a house league. There was nothing special about the similarities there it was a pretty standard place for any hockey player to start. After a while, Luke managed to join the Junior League where he played on a team full of his peers drafted from all over the surrounding area. Then he was asked to play for Team Canada in the world Juniors which was admittedly pretty impressive. Canada had won gold that year and Luke’s skating in the final game against Sweden gained him a lot of attention. People talked about how he could go pro and what a sin it was he hadn’t been seen scooped up by the scouts yet.

Luke got pretty cocky after that and had driven his teammates nuts. It’s part of the reason Ben never really let his ego get too inflated. There was always room for improvement .

When the NHL scouts started coming around looking at Luke though his teammates all shut up. It was one of those, 'money where your mouth is' kind of scenarios. In a town like Alderaan, it was a big deal to have one of the locals even flirting with the possibility of something huge like the NHL. All the boys on the team pulled their socks up. If Luke played well then they played well while there was no question who the scouts had come to see, everyone wanted to impress.

And, Luke was seen alright. It was less than a week before he’d gotten to call. They flew him out for hockey camp that summer where he had been able to train under his heroes. When all was said and done two coaches were vying for his signature and rumour had it there had been a bit of a bidding war. In the end, a contract was signed and Luke was on his way to the big leagues.

That was until the accident.

Luke and his father Anakin fought tooth and nail over Luke's chosen path in life. Anakin was a union man who had fallen in with some nefarious sorts. There were lots of rumours but nothing confirmed, no one liked to speak ill of the dead. Anakin had been very vocal about how he felt about a career playing hockey. He wasn’t the type of father who went to games or even tried to understand the sport. Gramma Padme had been the one who encouraged Uncle Luke's passion for hockey. It was a means of keeping him busy and to avoid the kind of trouble the son of Anakin Skywalker could undoubtedly get himself into.

They had been on their way to the airport. Anakin had been drinking so Luke decided to drive while his mother and sister sat in the back. It was a family affair, seeing him off as he ventured out into the world of NHL fame and glory. Leia only remembers bits and pieces of what happened and Luke never talks about it so the details are hazy but a car on the other side of the road lost control and jumped the median clipping their car. It wasn’t enough to do any real damage but it spun them around on the highway so they were facing traffic. That's really the only explanation for how the head-on collision could have happened.

A semi coming from behind hit them and hit them hard. The front of the car was totalled while the back had been left in near pristine condition leaving Leia and their mother Padme with a few scrapes and bruises. Leia broke the bone in her cheek from hitting her face against the back door. Luke and Anakin were not so lucky.

It could have been worse they said, the truck driver had done everything he could to lessen the impact. He pumped his breaks and cut the gas line but anything more would have only made the situation worse. The collision forced the engine block of the car up inside the cab crushing Anakin instantly while pinning Luke’s leg and effectively ruining his hockey career. He was trapped in the vehicle for over an hour but the time the medics were able to extract him. The damage was severe. A broken wrist that never set properly and rendered the wrist nearly immobile the least of his troubles. His femur had been broken in two places, split in two at the end like a wishbone, part of it poking through the thick muscle of his quad. His ankle and foot were crushed and the surgery to fix the leg was a long and arduous ordeal.

That he was even able to keep the leg was nothing short of a medical miracle but his hockey career was over before it even began. Luke was never the same after that, none of them really were. His mom sometimes talks about Luke as though she lost him too on that day. She tells stories about a boy who used to laugh all the time and was even a little bit whiney. Now Luke Skywalker exists, the bitter shell of an idea. He doesn’t speak much and when he does he’s careful with his words.

His early twenties were filled with surgery after surgery working to repair the knee and foot, taking out pins and plates before ultimately fusing his ankle all together. He walks with a limp most days and is always able to tell you when there’s weather on the way. It didn’t stop him from buying the rink or helping to coach the odd hockey team. He kept his finger on the pulse of it all, as though doing penance for some unknown wrong he feels he’s committed. Atonement for a fight with his father, or maybe trying to prove his old man wrong. Spiteful and stubborn. 

Ben always figured that hockey was part of the reason Luke always ran so hot and cold with him. Maybe he saw too much of himself in Ben, maybe he was jealous, maybe he just didn’t like Ben’s attitude. Either way, being around Luke for an evening was going to be a trying occasion making Ben feel a lot better about his decision to get high.

It’s still light out when he hears the rumble of Luke’s old Ford Ranger as it pulls into the driveway. Ben, laying sprawled out on the roof go his father's garage listens as he hears two doors slam shut and the slow rumbling of voices. The dulcet tone of a males voice, Luke and the soft air of a female voice that is almost enough to beg Ben’s curiosity. Almost.

Instead, he lays on his back staring at the sky as it shifts from blue to mottled purple and orange. Watching the stars as they twinkle and flicker into existence. There’s a deep part of him that hopes beyond hope that his parents will forget about him, leaving him to watch as the world shifts from day into night, the bright colours and vivid imagery slowly swallowed up by the inky black and glittering midnight.

Another quick drag has the smoke of his half-smoked joint billowing out his nose like some angry dragon curling into the sky overhead like silk in the wind. He knows he’s high enough when he has a hard time taking his eyes off the way the grey curls and twists in the air more concerned with the movement then the burning paper in his hand.

Yeah, this is probably enough, any more and he’s likely to cause a spectacle… again. But, really if they don’t want him getting into it then Han should find a better place to hide his stash.

One last pull and he’s butting the embers out on the shingles Ben holds his breath savouring the way the smoke bites at his lungs just a little before he exhales in a rush. The sudden surge makes his head a little spiny and light in the most pleasant way possible. Not wrecked but high enough that Luke’s ice glare isn’t going to enrage Ben the way it has a habit of doing.

He can do this. He can absolutely do this.

Another door opens and his mother's voice breaks through the evening air. She’s chatting with Luke about something that doesn’t quite reach Ben’s ears before her tone changes and she’s welcoming someone into their home. Did Uncle Luke bring a girlfriend to a family dinner?

How scandalous!

This evening might be much more fun the Ben had originally anticipated. He’s never seen Luke with a woman. Not since Mara and she’d been amazing, too good for the likes of Ben’s curmudgeon of an Uncle. Mara teased Luke and pushed him to try new things, working on slowly breaking him out of his shell little by little. She was funny and sweet and losing her had been a blow felt through their entire family. Another hit that Luke never quite got over.

Until now it seemed.

“Ben, get in here, Suppers nearly ready?” His father calls, his voice accented by the slide of the patio doors. “You better not be wrecked, I’m not putting up with that foolishness tonight.”

Peeking up from his would-be hidden location Ben can see Han standing in front of the back door. His posture illuminate by the back mudroom light gleaming from inside, arms folded against his chest casually, “I know you’re up there. I wasn’t born yesterday. Don’t you mess up the shingles either. I don’t fancy having to redo that this summer.” By I Han means he would hate to have to make Ben do it. His parents have this thing with accountability. It's kind of their family's theme.

With an exaggerated grumble, Ben manages to jump down off the roof. The distance isn’t far and Han was already well aware of where he’d been hiding. Mentally Ben reminds himself he needs to find a better hiding spot or maybe he should just stop sneaking his dad's weed.

A novel concept.

Han doesn't move as Ben approaches. He’s been taller than his father for the better part of two years now and Han is no slouch himself. Still. Even with a good two or three inches on the man Han still terrifies the shit out of Ben. Not as much as his mother but Han can be a smart and sneaky bastard when he needs to be. Sure, he’s laid back and sometimes a little too blase about life but Han has always been very smart about his anger, calculating in a way that is both impressive and incredibly nerve-wracking. It’s a trait that Ben never seemed to inherit, prone more to displays of violence and outrage.

“Lemme see you kid,” his father mumbles in that gruff sort of Han Solo way before grabbing Ben by the chin so he can turn his head this way and that. Ben knows better than to fight his father on this. He knows better than to fight his father on a lot of things really because while his father might be hard to push to anger he is very good at rubbing salt in old wounds to make a point. Old wounds like a wrecked bedroom and a need to wrestle his naked son to the floor. Those sorts of things.

“You’re an asshole sometimes, you know that right?” Han gripes, though he says it in a way that makes it sound like a term of endearment, as though he loves that Ben is a bit of a dick, “Suppose I should thank you for not getting greedy. You smoke much?”

“No,” Ben grumbles jerking his head out of his father's grip.

“That shit screw with your blockers?” he questions carefully, not quite casual but not quite a warning all the same. It seems oddly placed at first but after thinking about it a moment Ben realizes it probably has something to do with Luke’s new lady friend.

“Does it screw up yours?”

Han barks out a laugh, idly scratching the back of his neck, “No, if anything it makes it so I can’t scent a damn thing,” a soft pause and Han adds, “maybe that’s for the best right now.”

“Afraid I’ll embarrass you guys in front of Luke’s new girlfriend?” Ben asks bitterly.

“Girlfriend?” It sounds like he’s suggested Luke is actually a KGB agent or sasquatch. Han’s laugh is louder and more abrasive as he shakes his head and heads back towards the patio doors. “Ohhh kid, maybe go get changed so you don’t smell like you were out here hunting down a skunk. There’s Visine in the medicine cabinet for the love of god make good use of it.”

With that Han slips back into the house, the smell of Leia's chicken parmesan wafting through the air mingled with whatever it is she's making for dessert. Whatever it is, reminds him of his Gramma Padme’s funnel cakes.

Begrudgingly Ben slips in through the sliding patio door and b-lines for his bedroom determined to avoid his family for just a little longer. He can hear them in the kitchen just a few meters away chatting about summer plans, Leia asking Luke how everyone was setting in.

Part of Ben doesn’t want to bother getting changed, throwing himself back on his bed in a huff. It’s a move he under compensates for as his bed jolts and creeks beneath his weight. A puff of air forced out of his duvet throws his scent into the air, so thick and rank he can almost taste it, pungent and cruel in the air. He doesn’t just smell like skunk, he smells like fucking garbage. Like sweat and pot and something just a little too sour. Fuck changing, he needs a shower.

Grabbing a pair of black Bermuda shorts, some underwear and a t-shirt Ben sneaks quickly down the hallway promptly ignoring his mothers, “Ben, you ok?” as it floats through the air.

He’s quick, not quite an in and out sort of situation but fast enough that he knows he won't get chewed out for wasting everyone time. He should have showered earlier his mother would tell him, her voice fluttering through his mind as he tries very hard to focus. He doesn’t smell like he’s afraid of soap anymore, though his senses are still a little clogged up curtesy of Han’s top-level marijuana. Thank god the Visine is exactly where his father said it would be.

Staring at himself in the mirror Ben needs to psych himself up for the drops. He’s always hated things around his eyes. His mother still does this for him every once and a while, for the sake of convenience of course.

He only manages to make a slight mess, the drops trickling down his cheeks as he blinks them into place. For a minute it looks like he might cry, the fluid swimming along the edge of his eyelids. At least he doesn’t look like such a mess anymore. The red in his eyes coming down with every soft flutter of his lashes. His face still has that hallowed out sort of look, the dark rings around his eyes a sign of how little sleep he’s managed as of late.

A quick towel dry of his hair and Ben finally dresses himself, his skin still damp making the fabric of his t-shirt stick and cling unpleasantly. He looks passable as a human being at least, his hair still damp, his eyes looking like he’d rubbed at them just a little too much. Luke never stays long for these things anyway. An hour, hour and a half at most and Luke will be gone allowing Ben to go back to doing… whatever it was he was doing.

He can do this, it’ll be quick and painless.

Oh, how wrong he was.

Wandering into the kitchen Ben heads straight for the fridge. Teenage boy 101, they’re always hungry. Ben more so now that the marijuana has settled blissfully into his system washing over him in a state of relaxation and a need to nibble. That and a vicious case of cottonmouth.

“Don’t you dare Benjamin,” His mother warns as she pulls the bakeware out of the oven. The air immediately swelling with the scent of marinara and basil. Leia makes a mean chicken parmesan.

“Just need a glass of water,” Ben intones softly. Busted. He could easily have eaten half the contents of their fridge and still had room for the chicken, potatoes and salad his mother is still busying herself with.

He has the first cup downed in seconds, swooping in to pick at the salad his mother is building on the island with Luke sitting across from her. Leia laughs and swats and Ben’s fingers as he picks up a rather round and red cherry tomato dancing out of his mother's airspace. “Ben!” she grumbles while Luke smiles. He actually smiles taking a sip of his evening coffee.

“Smells good,” Ben hums around the fruit because tomatoes are apparently fruit. The strange things one learns when they just pay attention. He’s so focused on driving his mother mad that he almost misses the sweet scent that’s lingering in the air beneath the thick smell of Italian seasoning. “Whatted you make for dessert?” he ponders, pilfering another juicy tomato as he goes to lean against the countertop behind him. It’s sugary and sweet, “Gramma Ami’s funnel cake?” he offers.

Luke and Leia share a look. They do this sometimes, use their twin-like telepathy to share information through strange glances and pointed eye movement, “Luke brought pie.” Leia offers, “Apple crumble, I haven't put it in the oven yet.”

With a nod, Ben accepts it at face value taking another sip of his water while his mother tosses the brightly coloured veg (and fruit) in the bowl. She asks Luke questions, easy things that he won’t have an issue answering. Things about the rink, questions about the house and how ‘things’ are going at home. Ben doesn’t miss the way his mother's eyes slide over in his direction as Luke gives a casual shrug and tells his sister they’re as good as can be expected.

Ben however keeps circling back to the pie. Pie that shouldn’t smell like sweet vanilla and sugar. Luke would have bought it at the store on his way over, Ben can see it sitting in a box on the counter. And where’s his dad gone off to?

His mother and Luke continue their conversation pleasantly, it’s honestly the most Ben has ever heard Luke speak in forever. He’s not an incredibly social man, he says what he needs to when he needs to and leaves the rest alone but tonight he’s almost chatty. He asks Leia about the new school year and Ben if he’s thought about colleges for when he’s done school next year.

The concept throws Ben for a loop, his mind playing catch up on the things Luke has been asking. University or College, where is Ben planning on going? Has he put any thought into what he wants to do when he’s done high school?

“Depends on who offers me a scholarship I guess,” Ben hears himself mumble. It’s not that he needs the help financially but the idea of making it on his own merit does carry some weight. To be asked to play hockey for a school team in exchange for tuition cuts seems like more than a fair deal.

“Surely you aren’t going to base a decision as large as that on who wants you to play hockey?” the edge in Luke's tone borders on sharp. It’s a delicate area to tread and if Ben’s mind was clearer he might have seen that.

Instead, he has all the finesse of a chainsaw cutting a loaf of bread, “I might not have the skill to go pro like some but if it can get me through university then I’ll take it.”

Luke draws back away from the counter as though burned, eyes narrowed. Leia to her credit places a soft hand atop Luke’s in an attempt to pacify her brother, “Ben, you know we’ve been putting money away since you were a baby,” Leia tries.

“I don’t see what the big deal about me wanting to play hockey is. Being on the ice is calming for me—“

“— aggressive sport, you don’t need any fuel to that particular fire.” Luke cut in pointedly.

“Look, I get that its a sore spot for you and all Luke, that your opportunity was lost and I’m sorry that happened to you,” The words come without thought, a barrage of syllables meant to cut and hurt as much as humanly possible, “But it’s my fucking life. Where do I want to go to school? I don’t know but it’s sure as fuck going to be far the fuck away from here and this families fucking legacy.” 

Leia’s eyes are wide while Luke looks almost smug and Ben’s nose twitches, tickled by something foreign floating in the air. His dad’s cologne and the scent of coffee grounds and earth. Han’s pulled himself from wherever he’d been hiding just in time for the spectacle but there’s something else there too, that heavily sweet scent that’s managed to jam itself into Ben's nose and is now rattling around inside his brain. He should know it, the way it bleeds honeyed maple into his senses making his tongue feel sticky and thick.

Ben’s mind tumbles through the possibilities like a child in a ball pit. Unable to find purchases, slipping deeper under a myriad of colours and strangely cool sensations. He knows he should recognize it, not his grammas funnel cake but pancakes in the morning when he’d be allowed to spend the night. Not a common occurrence because Gramma Ami had not been well and couldn’t keep up with a child as spirited as Ben, his mother and uncle would say. But his Gramma would push and Ben would get nights here or there and when he was lucky the odd weekend where they would read and play cards and she would make him pancakes.

It’s a little like turning on a lightbulb that’s nearly burnt out. The idea, or maybe the realization flickers in his mind, pulling together in flashes of thought, there’s something there he’s not quite getting. He can almost put his finger on it, rational thought colliding but not quite connecting. A flint that sparks but doesn’t quite light.

What is it he’s missing?

Luke’s guest, his partner or whoever it was he’d brought with him, where are they?

With Han, nearby he assumes. He can hear his father laughing at something as a smaller voice rings in his ear. Leia is talking, no, she's hollering, words he cannot hear. He's upset her, thoughtless, crass, cruel. Her brow furrowed before it softens and she's explaining something, a change in something. She needs Ben’s help, he needs to figure out what to do with his anger for the benefit of everyone in their family. Her voice comes through hollow and yet far away like he’s hearing her through thick PVC piping. A chorus of amplified echos that bounce around in his head but don’t quite make sense.

Maybe getting high was a bad idea. His brain muddles along like sludge through a strainer, dripping into something that resembles understanding. But his skin is itchy, why is his skin itchy and what is that smell that’s curling around his brain like a cat making itself comfortable?

That’s when he hears it, a name that’s pulling him back into focus. His cup slips from his hand colliding with the floor, glass shattered around his feet.

“Jesus Ben, don’t move, you’re barefoot,” Leia says in a rush, moving towards the door that leads to the garage. When she opens it there’s a moment of regret that flutters through Ben, regret and realization, “Han, grab the broom.”

“Everything ok in there?” He can hear his father call as the scent becomes overwhelming. It makes him sweat, thin lines of perspiration that bead along the base of his skull and down along his neck. It pricks against his mating gland making him shudder, his scent peeking in the air. Ben wouldn’t be aware of it if it weren’t for the way Luke’s eyes take him in, the tense line of his shoulders growing rigid and predatory.

“Yeah, broken glass is all,” the scent gets thicker, a soft laugh, as his father’s voice rumbles something about the falcon and after supper as a delicate hand hands Leia a broom. A delicate hand that is clearly not his fathers. A hand he knows because it’s flipped him off and several times now and like a child, he’s memorized every inch of it. Bracelets and strings tied around the wrist, black nail polish that’s chipped on the corners and one silver band worn delicately around a slim index finger.

Ben hates that he knows that hand on sight. He hates that he knows as time moves slowly that the person who follows that hand is going to scowl at him the moment she sees him. He hates that he knows her scent is going to pitch into something guarded because he’s there but she’s in his house and she must know this but what is she doing here?

It’s like breaking tinted glass, an eruption of light and realization, “Rey will be staying with Luke until she graduates,” his mother is saying but all Ben can focus on is her name because the scent is everywhere.

The broom brushes his toes accidentally as his mother sweeps up wet pieces of glass. Without thinking he goes to take a step out of her way but Leia swats him and urges him to stand still. It all happens in a sort of disjointed motion, his father's voice floating in from the garage, “You got your license kid?”

“No, Plutt never let me go for it.”

His father grumbles something that sounds like ‘ _useless sack of shit_ ’ as he steps into the kitchen behind Rey. Rey who is staring at Ben, eyes wide like a doe caught in the headlights. Rey who smells like a memory, who’s lips look like they deserve to be kissed. She’s wearing a pair off short cut off jean shorts that most girls would flaunt readily but beneath them covering the rest of her legs is a pair of black ankle-length leggings. Her t-shirt looks worn, that authentic vintage look that most kids go for nowadays but it doesn’t look like something she got from Hot Topic. A simple black Ramones t-shirt, a thrift store find maybe that she’s modified to make it look like it came from one of those stores that modernizes everything. It’s obviously too big for her but she’s managed to make the stretched out neck look fashionable hanging over one shoulder showing off her purple bra strap and the black strap of her tank top. There are holes worn in the collar denoting the shirts wear whether by Rey or the previous owner is unclear but the sides are cut in strips and tied at her hip.

Her hair is done up in those ridiculous three buns again, as though she knows it drives him mad. As if she can feel his need to grab a hold of them and take control of her, pull her into a bruising kiss. Fuck how he wants to taste her lips.

Rey’s eyes widen and for a moment Ben wonders if he might have said as much out loud. Instead, her eyes shift to Han who has apparently said something funny. Leia is laughing while Luke shakes his head, Ben it seems is the only one left out of the loop. If only he could pay attention for two fucking seconds but she’s stolen his ability to function normally. Yes, she has, not the substance in his system. That just makes him foggy. It mutes her scent in the air but it’s still there invading his consciousness and making him dumb.

“Isn’t that right kid?” Han says again. They’re talking to him, Han’s eyes looking at Ben expectantly. When he realizes Ben hasn’t heard him his father repeats himself, “You’ll teach Rey how to drive this summer?”

“Is that even allowed?” Rey asks softly.

“I mean I can I guess,” Ben offers, “But shouldn’t one of you do it?”

“You got something better to do this summer kid?” His father grumbles folding his arms across his chest as he settles in behind Rey. He looks like he’s protecting her from something all the while offering her up to Ben carelessly.

“Thought I might try getting a job this summer,” Ben says offhandedly, it’s what his father is getting at. His parents leave him alone through most of the year because hockey takes up so much of his time. He’s helped coach some of the Junior A teams which isn’t supposed to pay but the coaches often toss some money his way because he puts the time in. He refs a bit too whenever Luke asks him to. It’s not a lot, not like Hux’s job down at the supermarket but it’s better than nothing at all.

“They’re still looking for people to run the summer camps, you’ve got an up to date background check right?” leave it to Luke, “Rey just got hired on there for the summer, you could apply too, maybe teach her to drive on your way home.”

Rey looks like she might object, pretty mouth wide and ready to shriek. Ben knows because he’s seen her do it before, this huffing of air before she starts in on a vocal objection. Like a balloon losing its air, she pushes the air from her cheeks, forcing her lips together. That was… interesting.

Returning from emptying the shards of glass into an old cardboard box Leia grins, “Ben that sounds perfect,” of course his mother would think so.

“For whatever reason Ben, you’re really good with kids. They love you,” Luke looks at Rey who seems to bristle at the mere idea of being forced to spend more time than necessary with him this summer. For some reason it only makes Ben want to do it all the more. Normally he’d fight it, sling some insult at his uncle for the backhanded compliment and grumble while his parents urged him on until he caved.

Instead Ben shrugs, “Why not, is it still Ms. Tano who runs the summer program?”

“Paige Tico is helping out this year," Leia starts, the name digging into the back of Ben's mind as a gentle reminder of something, something important but all he can focus on is Rey, "I think you know her younger sister Rose,” his mother continues as Han slaps Rey on the shoulder before moving away to help his wife set the table. They move around each other effortlessly, Leia opening drawers for cutlery while Hand pulls plates down and then goes after the glasses. Like they’ve done this forever, maybe because they have.

Han and Leia fight and bicker in a way that’s embarrassing but they love each other the way that two people should love one another. They support and care and always point out when the other is being an idiot. It’s not the fairy tale romance that authors write about and teenage girls swoon over but the kind that lasts because the people involved put in the effort. If his parents have given him anything in life it’s a realistic idea of what a functional relationship looks like.

Fighting is ok, you don’t have to agree all the time, you just need to make sure you’re respectful and kind and loving. Above all else, be loving and while Han and Leia may be a great many things in this world, a chaotic mess being the primary, Ben has never once questioned the level of their affection for or devotion to one another.

“Rose, right.” Ben muses, “I don’t know that she likes me that much,”

That’s when Rey laughs, a loud barking sound that seems almost too big to come from her small body. Her head thrown back exposing the column of her throat. Long and tanned, the muscles jumping out along the sides. It startles Leia and draws Luke's attention. Han on the other hand simply chuckles along with her, “Kids got a set of pipes on her.”

“You have no idea,” Ben mutters a little louder than probably necessary because his mother is giving him a look. That one that tells him he’s skating on thin ice.

“Benji, put the pie in the oven for me would you?” IE ‘Watch it’

“You scared the shit out of Rose with what happened in gym class,” Oh good, Ben was worried that wouldn’t come up ever again, “It’s not that she doesn’t like you, she doesn’t know you,” Rey offers, tucking a few strands of hair behind her ear as she slips ono the stool beside Luke at the kitchen island. Her tanned skin looks bright against the black granite.

Ben has to give himself a moment to just look at her, the way she chews on her lips just so, how she tries looking at him without actually looking at him. Rey is so utterly out of her element that Ben has to wonder if she’s angrier with him for whatever multitude of reasons she might have or with herself for not quite knowing how to react. She can’t tell him to fuck off here. Or, she can and rather she chooses not to as to avoid making a scene in front of the adults.

So she does have some modicum of self-control. Interesting.

With the pie safely in the oven and the table set Leia claps her hands together happily, “Alright, I think we’re about ready.” That usually means scramble. Luke encourages Rey to her feet pointing towards the plates as Leia tells her in a chipper voice, “hope up serve yourself and then we’ll eat at the table. Han, you brought in the extra chair?”

“Yes, for the fifth time, I brought in the extra chair.” he replies dully, quickly adding as he watches his wife jaw drop, “Yes the one that’s not broken. It’s like you have no faith in me.”

“Wonder why that is,” Luke mutters as he takes his place in line behind Han. The two men despite being nearly ten years apart in age and several inches in height poke and jab at each other like children. Han is swiping his arm around to grab Luke by the head while Luke jabs Han in the ribcage with a pointed elbow. They are huffing and wheezing when Luke’s knee gives out just as Ben is stepping up behind the two.

Luke goes down hard, Leia crying out as Ben quickly blocks Luke’s head from banging against the countertop. “Honestly you two,” Leia grumbles as Ben holds out his hand to help Luke to his feet. Luke who has always been a proud man merely stares at it a moments before bracing his leg and clambering to his feet on his own leaving Ben’s hand hanging in the air pointlessly, “Luke go sit down,” Leia waves an oven mitt in Luke’s direction encouraging him towards the table. When he doesn’t more she hits him with it, “I said go sit down, so help me god you stubborn oaf of a man.”

Begrudgingly Luke pushes passed Han and head towards the dining room table his limp much more pronounced, “No mushrooms please you know I hate them.”

“You can eat around them,” his sister says flippantly before forcing two plates into Ben’s waiting hands.

She’s dolling out food before he can argue, loading both plates up with chicken, mashed potatoes and salad. One plate Ben can’t help but notice has a rather large helping of mushrooms mixed in with the greens. Even into their forties now it seems the Skywalker-Organa twins still nurse a deep need to antagonize one another.

Without a word, Ben drops the plate with the surplus of mushrooms down in front of Luke, who predictably gripes at Leia. Han helps himself to a few fingers of Corellian whiskey while Ben busies himself taking the pie out of the oven and retrieving he and Rey glasses of water. It’s a simple affair, the group moving around one another like cogs in a clock. Everyone has a place, a role. Rey is handing out napkins as she pulls up a seat that Han apparently thought should be directly next to Ben.

On the one hand, he doesn’t have to eat his meal staring at her across from him. On the other, her scent is distracting and making it hard for Ben to focus on anything that isn’t her. He misses pieces of conversations, jabs the same piece of lettuce four times before finally spearing it on his fork and nearly spills his water all over himself when Rey tells them about her experience living with a man named Unkar Plutt.

Her uncle as it turns out is a low life of punishable degree. He’d ignored Rey’s growing concerns about getting sick and told her he wasn’t writing her a note to excuse her just because she was starting her period. Han knew him from before, a guy who he’d done dealings with when Boba Fett his normal parts guy couldn’t find what Han was looking for. Han hated Plutt and Han Solo does not hate many people.

The more Rey speaks of her experience living with the man she called her uncle the angrier Han becomes. Ben too is having a hard time stomaching the tales of neglect and borderline abuse that Rey shares. As though she were telling them about her last birthday party and the kind of cake she had. It turns out Rey hasn’t actually had a birthday cake for her birthday in years making Ben want to go out that instant and buy her four different kinds just to make up for years without sweets.

They talk about school and hockey of course. Rey comments on Ben’s knack for the game as though she’s been to all his games which as it turns out isn’t far from the truth. She’s close to Finn Storme who has had a thing for Poe for ages now so she gets drug along quite frequently.

It’s strange to have her pay him a compliment, even stranger when her cheeks pink up under his attention. She asks questions about the Falcon, Han’s old charger he rebuilt from scratch. His pride and joy which even Ben isn’t allowed to drive. “You could learn a thing or two from this girl Ben,” Han chimes over a piece of chicken, waving his work around carelessly.

Rey beams at the compliment while Ben rolls his eyes. It’s nice to see her light up, the edges worn off by the family setting. She’s relaxed with them, laughing as she eats, stealing a particularly ripe tomato off Ben’s plate before he has a chance to enjoy it. She’s all smiles and mocking grins as she waggles her eyebrows at him and munches away happily. Luke grumbles about his mushrooms while Leia tells him to grow up. When all is said and done Ben helps his mother clear the plates if only to give himself a little space from Rey and her intoxicating scent.

When she’s pissed off at him he knows what to do with her but like this, she has him all twisted up in knots. Rey has never really smiled at him before, not like she has tonight. It’s pleasant and almost flirtatious, the way she leans in against the table supporting her jaw with her palm listening to Han tell her stories about the antics he and Luke use to get up to.

She’s enthralled, though most people are when Han starts telling tall tales. He has this way with people that Ben has never quite understood. Han’s telling the one about the biker bar down in Mos Isley when Leia approaches Ben. He’s scraping the plates into the compost when his mother bumps her hip into his.

“Thanks, Benji,” she says softly, taking the plate to rinse it off in the sink. They repeat this with the other plates slowly until all five are clean and waiting in the sink. “I appreciate you making an effort with Rey.”

“I’m not really doing much,” He comments mildly as he reaches up to get the smaller plates that sit just out of his mother's reach.

“You aren’t treating her any differently,” Ben looks at his mother a moment, plates held in his hands, blinking. Does his mother know how Rey affects him? Can Leia pick up on the way Ben is struggling sitting next to Rey? How badly he wants to turn and touch her, a hand on her knee, a finger along her jaw, anything just to see if touching her feels as electric as her voice does rattling around in his head.

Then there’s the litany of deliciously filthy things he wants to do to her. The things that Ben will never name because his mother raised him to be a gentleman and he knows that wanting to lick Rey’s mating gland would be a blatant act of sexual harassment.

“She’s been feeling out of sorts since presenting and not being allowed back to school.”

“Why was that anyway?” Ben says as he cuts up the pie and places it onto individual plates. The apple is still warm as he slides his finger along the dull knife, cinnamon apple goo staining his finger.

When he looks up, he catches Rey watching, her eyes wide and bright and oh so inviting. With a private smile, Ben makes a show of licking his finger off maintaining blatant eye contact with her the entire time. Thankfully his mother doesn't notice. She’s tucking in close grabbing forks from the drawer before she opens up the container filled with cool whip, “It was a legal thing involving her uncle, her caseworker suggested that she be taken out until everything was finalized. I don't quite understand it myself we just went along with it."

“Why Luke?”

“That was partially me,” his mother admits, dropping dollops of fluffy white cream on each piece of pie individually, “We needed a quick solution and Luke had filled out the paperwork to be a foster years ago when He and Mara were together,” Leia’s voice drops off softly, “We needed to get her out of Plutt’s place. She was in danger and Ben, I trust you not to breathe a word of this to anyone.”

Ben tosses his mother quirked brow that screams ‘really’ “Because I’m a huge gossip,” he intones sarcastically. “Luke though, really?”

Leia simply shrugs, “She’s been good for him, they’ve been good for each other. She’s had to fight so hard for so long that accepting Luke’s kindness, in the beginning, was hard.” The hair on the back of Ben’s neck stands on end. The idea that Rey has had to struggle at all in her life leaves a lead weight in his stomach that he’s not quite sure what to do with. He hates the thought of her struggling at all. It makes him anxious like he has to fix it but has no idea how to go about doing that. It’s a daunting feeling that that muddles through him thick and unsettling. At seventeen he should be worried about stupid teenage problems and all Ben can focus on is what might make Rey’s life more comfortable.

There’s a soft pause, Leia’s spoon hovering with a particularly large helping of whipped cream dripping off of it. Her nose twitches softly, no more than a faint wiggle as she turns to Ben, resting the spoon against the plate. “Benji,” she starts, and he knows what's going to come next, he doesn’t need to look at her to know her gaze has shifted from something stern to a weird sort of understanding. She knows him well, his mother, probably the only person in the world to know his heart in and out, “You’re… drawn to her.” it’s not the worst word she could have used, “You have feelings for…” as though thinking better than to repeat her name aloud Leia smiles and simply repeats, “her…”

“I don’t know… her,” But will that answer be enough?

His mother's hand is warm as she rests it on his arm, curling around his bicep as she tugs him closer, “But the need is there to know her,” need not want. She knows, fuck, she knows. The panic steals in like a low hum vibrating through his limbs until it settles into his chest. He’s never felt so seen by her in all his life. He steals a glance over his shoulder to where Rey is sitting in an animated conversation with Han. She’s laughing, smiling, her mouth broad in that smile of hers that is all teeth. All Ben can do is nod as his mother says, “Ok then.” as if it’s that simple, nothing easier in all the world, “We can’t help who we fall for Benji, the sooner you learn that the better. I hated your father but sometimes the biology of the matter sees more then our stubborn minds will allow.”

She has him pulled into a hug quickly, fierce and strong, all five feet one inch of her. Ben has been taller than his mother since he hit double digits but now at a little over six feet he towers over her, “Jesus Ben, did you grow another inch in the last week?” He has to duck his chin a little to rest it on the top of her head. He hadn’t needed to do that before.

They return to the table quietly, pie and plates in hand. Rey’s piece Ben made sure was the biggest, hidden beneath a healthy helping of cool whip. Her eyes widen with delight, looking up at him with a smile that he tucks away for safekeeping. One pure moment where she’s not ready to tell him off or call him an Alpha dog. It’s sweet and lasts but a minute as she comes to realize what exactly she’s done and schools her features accordingly with a humble, “Thanks,”

After supper, while Han and Luke argue about some poker tournament that Lando is trying to put together Ben catches Rey filling their kitchen sink with water. She has the dishes stacked and organized as he fetches himself another glass of water. “What are you doing?”

She looks at him oddly as though the answer were obvious, “The dishes?”

With a soft chuckle, Ben turns off the water, dipping his fingers into the warm liquid in order to flick a few stray droplets at her playfully. “Don’t worry about it.” She bristles as he leans against the counter so that he can better look at her. This close he can count the freckles on her nose that dust across high cheekbones and down over her jaw.

“It would be rude to leave them, your mother was kind enough to cook,” she bites out, reaching to turn the water back on. He flicks water at her again effectively stopping her. Rey looks like she wants to hit him, though that really isn’t anything new. It takes a moment, Ben’s brow quirked in silent question before Rey drips her fingertips into the water and retaliates. Her fingers flick closer to his face, drops sliding over his cheeks and down his nose as she grins and does it again laughing this time.

They go back and forth, arms warding the other off, scrambling to speckle each other with water, laughing and grumbling as they go. Rey squeals as Ben threatens to pour his glass of water over her head gaining his parent's attention.

“Benji don’t you make a mess in my kitchen,” Han warns, though there's a smile in his voice he’s trying to hide. It straightens Rey right up, her posture militant as Ben flicks her with water again earning him a cuff to the chest.

“We were asked to stop,” she gripes, her tone edging on fearful as her eyes widen at Ben’s blatant disobedience of his father.

“It’s fine so long as we clean it up,” he tries to assure her but it’s as though a whip has been cracked. The moment lost. Rey’s features schooled into a serious sort of concern. “We aren’t in trouble.” he tries to put a hand on her shoulder but she slips away quickly.

The silent hiss of, “Don’t,” lingering on her lips.

Hands raised in surrender Ben backs off just a little, “It’s ok, anyway, we have a dishwasher.”

They pass the time loading the machine with the evening's dishes, Ben taking the blown glass cups and washing them by hand as Rey places the plates in neat little rows. They don’t speak to one another at all but work in tandem tidying things up. The pie is put away onto to the breadbox. Cups dried and stored in the cupboards. Ben shows her how the dishwasher works as Rey explains she’s never used one before. It’s a simple thing, domestic in a way that Ben can’t bring himself to think about. When they’re done she follows Ben out on the back patio where Luke finds them sometime later sitting in the quiet watching the stars as they twinkle into existence. Ben promises to drop off his resume with Ms. Tano in the morning and with any luck he’ll pick Rey up Monday morning for their first day of sports camp.

Reluctantly Rey gives him her cell number, pulling out an old flip phone so she can do the same.

It’s not much, the sharing of silence or this exchanging of numbers but it’s a start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Underage Pot smoking  
> Car Accident and injury mentioned.  
> Mentions of neglect
> 
> I hope this chapter explains some things. There are more than a few things in this chapter that are loosely based on things that have happened not necessarily to me but to people I care very much about.  
> Let me know what you think lovelies. Hope you are all safe and well 
> 
> Come say hello on [The Twitter](https://twitter.com/rebelscumreylo)


	5. You've already won me over in spite of me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Fuck off Ben,” she hollers, hands shoved into the pouch of her hoodie as he rolls the window down.
> 
> “Get back in the car Rey. Let me drive you home.”
> 
> “Fuck. You. Solo.” she growls and the sound of it makes him want to pin her down on the sidewalk right there. Feisty little thing that she is, flipping him the finger for good measure.
> 
> “Be pissed off at me all you want.” he calls, leaning over the middle console as he looks between her and the road ahead, creeping along beside her at a snail's pace, “But be pissed at me from inside the car.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is suddenly far larger then I intended it to be, sorry guys but thank you for following along!!

Ahsoka Tano has been in Ben's life for as long as he can remember. Originally she had been a friend of old Anakin Skywalker though no one ever really thought to explain how that had all worked out. When Anakin passed away Ahsoka spent a lot of time with Ben's Grandmother Padme, helping her out with Luke and his injuries or small things around the house. Outside of Leia, Ahsoka became one of the only people Luke would confide in. It helped of course that she wasn't more than a few years older than the twins. 

There were rumours of course and a lot of speculation as there often was surrounding anything that involved Anakin Skywalker and his life choices but whatever had brought Ahsoka and Anakin together hadn't been of nefarious means. It couldn't. She just wasn't that type of person. She took Luke to his rehab appointments when Padme and Leia were unable to get behind the wheel of a car for the first few months. She ran errands and helped with meals, helped Leia through her university midterms and encouraged Luke to get back on his feet again. Ahsoka Tano had been the elastic band that wrapped around the Skywalker family while the glue dried and the cracks sealed so that they could once again figure out how to function as a family. 

Ben had always found her to be a little strange but utterly fascinating. She was the kind of person who just did things. Taught English as a second language in foreign countries, took a month off to go and help build schools in places like Jakku. Always busy, always on the move, she was in and out of their lives like a hummingbird, always returning to the same feeder filled with stories and bright experiences that sounded more like fairy tales then real-life exploits. 

That's probably why it doesn't feel weird to meet her at a local coffee shop for this impromptu interview. The town has been making cuts and renting space for a summer program run by a woman who was notorious for being _hands-on_ instead of in the office was a huge waste of town spending. It's just like sitting down with Lando or Chewie really, only Ahsoka tends to draw a little more attention than his uncles. Which is saying something because Chewie often looks like he walked straight out of the mountains. 

Although Ben has grown up with his mother in and out of the classrooms, it never ceases to weird him out seeing teachers in their casual clothing. Or maybe it's more Ms. Tano's blatant disregard for what some might consider social norms. Or... maybe social norms for a woman of her age? 

Then again Ben is a seventeen-year-old Alpha male with no general concept for fashion or age-appropriate attire so what does he know? Only that if his mother dressed like her friend, Ben would likely have a fucking heart attack.

Ahsoka unsurprisingly appears to have arrived long before she and Ben were supposed to meet. She's not hard to spot, sitting folded in on herself atop a bench at the back of the coffee shop. One knee tented, it's barefoot pressed into the cushion, her freshly painted toes wiggling free while her other leg sits bent at an angle opening her hip into a stretch so that her ankles cross awkwardly. She's always been a little strange like she shunned conformity. Dressed in a pair of tight fitted yoga leggings with sheer panelling cut out down the side showing off tattoos Ben never realized she had.

Is that a naked tree lady tattooed on her leg?

Her greying hair is pulled back in a series of four tightly woven braids that hang down her back settled against warm tawny skin in a striking contrast. She has her septum pierced too, strange that he's managed to miss that too. Is it new? Or maybe she flips it up inside her nostrils he's seen some girls do that but this piece is ornate and silver-lined with pearlescent stones. The small silver ball piercing the skin above her upper lip like a beauty mark however Ben is definitely familiar with. 

No, it's definitely not a look most teachers go for. 

She doesn't even seem to have his resume present, her hands folded atop her knee as she observes him quietly waiting for something. Him or maybe a drink she's ordered? 

It's unsettling, her blue eyes bright and appraising as she presses her lips together in deep contemplation. Lips that are done up in a rich ochre lipstick.

"Cutting it a little close aren't you Benji," Ms. Tano quips lightly, leaning against the bench so that her arms drape over the back. Her wrists jingle as she movies, jewelry shifting with the sound of soft silver bells shuddering, "Cut off for this was weeks ago."

"Uncle Luke said you were short-staffed and encouraged me to apply."

"Ah, did he now?" Ahsoka nods slowly sizing Ben up as though she doesn't already know he's more than qualified for the position.

"Yes," Ben grates, "But I feel like you probably knew that already Ms. Tano."

"Oh, Jesus, don't call me that!" She laughs, body lurching forward to lean once more against her tented knee, "Ahsoka when we're not in school if you please. I was Ahsoka before you hit high school, I'll thank you to keep it Ahsoka now." Yeah... Not like the other teachers at all. 

Ben nods sharply, thrown off by the sudden change in her demeanour. She's smiling, her teeth white and bright as she licks at one of her eyeteeth. Is her tongue pierced too? When was the last time he sat down and actually talked to Ms... Ahsoka?

"Look, Ben. I'll take you on in a heartbeat. You know I will but I have to ask, you're on blockers right?"

Ben closes his eyes, taking a steadying breath because _of course_ that would come up, "Yes, I'm on blockers. Do you think my mother would allow me to apply for the position otherwise? Or that Luke would even recommend it?"

"Well kid, I didn't think I'd ever see you go feral in gym class either. Let me tell you what a joy that was for Calrissian and me."

That's not the half of it, at least they didn't have to wrestle him to the ground naked, fuck. "That was an isolated event. I've seen my doctor, my prescription has been adjusted. As long as I'm not thrown into a small room with an Omega going into heat I'll be fine."

Ahsoka nods slowly as their server approaches, a mason jar filled with what looks like brown swamp water with bits of leaves and berries floating on the surface in their hand. When she turns to Ben with a careful eye he tries to remain as neutral as possible. It looks fucking disgusting, "Just black coffee for me please," he asks softly as the young woman nods placing the jar down on the table with a grin. She's cute enough, shy if the blush creeping into her cheeks is any indication. The scent of honeydew and raspberry lingering in the air as she nods and skips away. Omega. 

The blatant stare he catches from Ahsoka is anything but subtle. She's gauging his reaction to the unmated Omega female. Waiting, maybe to see how he chooses to react. Sure, she's attractive, maybe a few years older than him. A ' _home from University for the summer_ ' sort of look to her. Still, as pleasing as her scent might be, she's honestly not worth a second glance, "So I see," Ahsoka chirps happily a broad smile spreading across her lips, "Luke said to put you in a day camp with Rey." She's stirring her drink with her finger which makes Ben scrunch his nose up rudely, watching as she licks the finger clean. Gross. So, so gross for _so_ maybe reasons, "I'm ok with that so long as you can promise me no drama."

“Wha—“

"Don't give me that innocent, ' _what are you_ _talking about_ ' act Ben," A pointed finger in Ben's direction causes him to recoil slightly. It's the one she had in her mouth which for some reason Ahsoka finds hilarious, "You think teachers don't hear things? I know you two are at each other's throats."

It's hard not to roll his eyes. He thinks maybe he's managed to suppress the urge but the look on Ahsoka's face tells him otherwise. He's never been particularly good at hiding his emotions. Especially when he's irritated. "That was one party and there was alcohol involved."

Brows raise she nods for him to continue, allowing him either the opportunity to defend himself or enough rope to hang. He's torn between keeping his mouth shut and giving her what she wants. The truth is always something Ms. Tano has preached in her classroom. An opportunity to speak yours and embrace the freedom it will grant you. It always seemed like such pointless bullshit but Ben knows Ahsoka. He's watched the way she fights social injustices and helps to raise up her students who feel they have no voice. The way she encourages real and controversial conversations in her classroom and stays after class working on lesson plans so that students in unhealthy home situations have a place to go to do their homework so they can avoid their living situations just a little longer. He's seen her go to court for kids to help them get emancipated and he knows for a fact that she's been to every LGBTQ2 and Ally meeting ever hosted since she started working at Alderaan High.

Underage drinking, he realizes very quickly, is not something Ahsoka Tano is about to get a little weird about,  “Look,” Ben offers, maybe a little harshly in retrospect, “She was getting in one of my friend's faces,” he starts, Ms... Ahsoka’s face impassive as she listens, “and I felt that she had had enough to drink so I took her bottle of Jack and finished it. She got pissed, I walked away. She _hates_ Alpha’s and this was before she presented. We’ve been around each other since then and been fine,” Fine is one way to describe it, being around Rey Niima is the most frighteningly enlightening experience of Ben Solo's life. She makes him feel things he’s never felt before and makes him want more then any seventeen year old should ever want. “Honestly they just want us working together so I’ll be forced to teach her to drive and Luke won’t have to.”

At that Ahsoka laughs hard and bright, her head thrown back, eyes crinkled in mirth. It takes her a moment to regain composure, wiping tears from the corner of her eyes as she shifts in her seat, “The world would be a better place for that.” 

And just like that Ben has a summer job. It’s easy as far as summer jobs go, the town pays minimum wage which is decent all things considered. He doesn’t need to touch or prepare someone else's food or find products for the blind and irritated masses. Instead, he has to get up early, no issue there he's used to six am practices, and spend from seven-thirty am till four pm wrangling a group of kids between the ages of five and twelve under the pretence of teaching them something about sports. 

Easy peasy. 

He texts Rey that night telling her he’ll be by Luke’s place a little after seven on Monday morning to pick her up. Her response is a riveting ‘ _Ok_.’ which she leaves until a few hours later when Ben’s phone chimes again.

< **Rey** : You don’t have to teach me to drive>

It stings a little though he’s not entirely sure why. It’s not as though Ben had been excited about the prospect but it feels a little like she’s trying to get out of spending time with him. Which, truthfully is likely the case. It shouldn’t bother him, not really but for some reason, he finds it does. 

< **Ben** : Whatever you want>

He won’t let her know that he’s disappointed, play it cool. Unphased… 

Why then does he lurch for his phone the minute it goes off in hopes of seeing her name across the screen?

< **Rey** : I’m sure it’s the last thing you want to do>

< **Ben** : I’m not about to tell you what to do. If you want to learn I’ll teach you. If not then I won’t no big deal>

< **Rey** : I want to learn>

< **Ben** : Then I’ll teach you>

< **Rey** : Right now?>

Ben, who had been laying in his bed bolts upright. It’s only a little past seven, the sky is still bright and Rey just asked him if he’d take her out for a driving lesson. He’d need to get changed first, there’s no time for a shower but he’d had one this morning before meeting with Ahsoka. He’s clean, his hair a little messy but maybe a comb would fix that?

His heartbeat hammers in his chest so fierce it makes him dizzy, he needs to reign it in a bit, he’s being ridiculous.It’s a driving lesson not a date but the idea of sitting alone with Rey in his car for any amount of time trapped with her scent and her skin and her eyes… _fuck_. Just the thought of it is enough to get him low key aroused.

_Settle down, Ben!_   


Fuck but his car. It still stinks like hockey gear and no amount of deodorizer will eliminate that smell fast enough. 

He could always ask to borrow his mother's car… 

< **Ben** : I’ll be there in 15>

Ok… he’s doing this. 

Jumping out of bed Ben digs through his dresser for a clean pair of shorts and underwear for good measure. No harm in being a little extra fresh. Then he makes his way over to his closet pulling out a navy blue button-down. After getting changed he runs his fingers through his hair a few times before grabbing his wallet and darting out his bedroom door. His mother and father are sitting in the living room arguing about where they want to go for their summer getaway when Ben saunters in. 

“Benji,” his mother calls, “You look nice where are you off to?” 

Immediately feeling overdressed Ben picks at the hem of his shirt self-consciously, “Just out, do you think I could borrow your car?” 

Leia, as perceptive as ever narrows her eyes pushing Han away as he tries to sell her on a B&B in Scarif where the fishing is particularly good this time of year. When Leia finally clips Han in the ribcage his father grumbles, “What the matter with your car?”

“It smells like my hockey gear.”

“That’s never been an issue for you before,” Han starts.

But Leia cuts him off pointedly hissing, “ _He’s obviously taking out a girl_.” clearly not wanting to make an issue out of it. Bless his mother and her strange attempts at trying to respect his privacy. “Sure Ben, just make sure you gas it up when you’re through.” 

“Thanks, mom,” He’s on his way towards the door grabbing his mother's keys off the rack hanging on the wall when Han calls out after him.

“Might want to get that smell issue clears up before Monday,” He says teasingly, “Don’t want Rey thinking you have some sort of body odour issue.” 

“Han!”

“What?” Han laughs as Leia rolls her eyes. 

“You know what you old fool, why don’t you take Ben’s car into the shop tomorrow and help him get it cleaned out?” Han owns and _sometimes_ operates a garage down on the main drive. It’s a busy shop that specializes in custom and imported cars. Han makes himself known every once and a while but for the most part, he leaves it up to his best friend and business manager Charles, a burly man who Ben has known all his life as Chewie. 

“Oh Princess, please.” Han whines,“Don’t make me suffer through that.”

“I have spoken. You want your fishing getaway, help your sun rectify his grotesquely smelly car situation.” Han looks like he’s about to open his mouth to say something else but chooses to close it after a moment or two to consider. 

“Fine, I’ll take it in but we’re going to Scarif.” Leia waves her hands around dismissively. Ben knows exactly how this is going to go down. Han will clean Ben’s car and Leia will get her trip to Naboo, the same one she makes Han take her on every summer. Leia knows this, Ben knows this, even Han knows this. It makes the situation no less amusing and Ben’s car gets de-skunked to it’s a win-win for him.

He’s out the door quickly, his mother calling after him to drive safe and be home before midnight. He still has his “N” license meaning he has restrictions but he can’t imagine Rey wanted to stay out later than necessary. 

He pulls up outside his uncle's house to find Rey sitting on the porch of the little yellow bungalow. Luke’s truck still in the driveway. 

Rey bounds over to the car and pulls open the driverside door, “This isn’t yours.” she says immediately, catching Ben off guard. He wasn’t aware she knew what he drove or maybe she just recognizes his mother's car.

“No, my car still smells like my hockey gear, I didn’t think you wanted to suffer through that,” He laughs as she turns up her nose and reaches for the radio turning it back on. He’d turned it off when he got in the car determined to later sync up one of his playlists on his phone while Rey was taking her turn behind the wheel.   


He probably should have told his mother he was planning on taking Rey out driving but hindsight and all that. 

The minute the sound is back on the car is filled with the unique female voice of a singer Ben doesn’t recognize. 

_ ‘don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet and don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are, I couldn't help it. It’s all your fault’ _

Rey laughs as she adjusts the volume dial, “DIdn’t strike you for an Alanis fan there Solo,” 

He chances a glance out of the corner of his eye. Rey is smiling as the song continues, whoever Alanis is, he’s not entirely sure he’s a fan. Rey however seems decidedly ok with the music choice so Ben, to his credit leaves the music alone. Rey grins as she hums along softly bobbing her head in a way that makes her three buns bounce with the motion. She's wearing simple leggings and an oversized Alderaa Knights sweater with her name embroidered into the arm. Right, she was on the track team and played varsity soccer. The sweater sleeves swallow up her fingers, still painted in that black chipping polish. 

“I figured we’d head to the school parking lot. Have you ever driven before?”

The sudden quiet has Ben curious, turning his head as he pulls up to the stop sign at the end of Luke’s street. Rey looks uncomfortable, her eyes focusing on her feet. She has her lower lip pinned between her eyeteeth working them back and forth lightly. “I have…” she says, finding something outside the passenger side window utterly fascinating all of a sudden. 

“You have…” Ben pushes as he rolls away from the stop sign. The school is less than a ten-minute drive filled with more stop signs then and one town requires. He’s determined to get the truth out of her before they make there. 

“Might as well tell me,” he offers lightly but Rey’s scent has shifted slightly like it had when they were at the rink. There’s something anxious there, something that makes the hair on the back of Bens's neck prick up. He wants to reach out and take her hand, the one she’s got clenched into fists in her lap but settles himself into a neutral _ten and two_ , “Hey, it can’t be that bad,” 

“Oh… it is.” Gone is the sharp tone, the one that pushes him and gets under his skin. In its place is something soft and shameful. 

Another stop sign, another street, a pointed stretch of silence. Rey fidgets and cracks her knuckles as Ben wages a small war, internally torn between leaving it be and pressing her for more. He hates the distress that accents the air, the way Rey suddenly seems to second guess this whole trip. 

When they finally pull up to Cedar st, the school just there in the distance Rey looses a sigh and turns the music down. “How much do you know about my uncle Plutt?”

“Not a lot, just that my Dad hates him and Dad doesn’t hate many people,” 

“He’s not a good man,” Rey says quietly and still it’s there, that line of shame as she says it. Something that’s wrapping around Ben’s insides and tugging just a little, begging him to make it better.

“I gathered that much,” Ben pulls into a parking spot and throws the car into park. The engine idles, the silence stretching thin as he shifts in his seat. He wants to touch her, to show her that it’s ok but he’s afraid she’ll get upset. This thing between them, whatever it is is tenuous at best. The last thing Ben wants to do is make her uncomfortable but she just seems so unsettled. “Look,” he finally tries, starling her from whatever thought had stolen her away, “I won’t pretend to und—“

“He used to boost cars” Rey blurts out, her shoulders are drawn up around her ears as her body stills, “A few times I had to drive them down to the chop shop because he’d gotten himself spotted."

The rage that flares through Ben’s veins is visceral and terrifying. So thick that Rey must pick up on it, her eyes twitching towards him looking very much like she wants nothing more than to bolt. Fuck, she probably thinks he's mad at her. Ben, to his credit, does nothing more than swallow his rage and grip the steering wheel like it’s Plutt’s neck. 

It’s a hand, Rey’s hand on his knee that pulls Ben back into the present. His name a soft plea on her lips in such a way he’s sure he’s imagined it. An Omega tone used to soothe an outraged Alpha. It’s unlikely she even realizes she’s doing it, her fingertips drawn across his kneecap softly. “You shouldn’t have been put in a position like that,” Ben grits out, his jaw sore from clenching his teeth. 

He watches her wet her lips, her sleeves pulled up to her elbows as she rubs her wrists in an agitated way. The movement causes her scent to bloom in the air, a sugary fragrance edged with burnt marshmallows that he knows he shouldn't find so appealing. She seems to realize what she's done moments after she’s done it, her hands drawn back into her lap but the glands on her wrist are already pink and inflamed. 

Not entirely sure what he’s doing Ben takes one of her hands in his own and brings it close to his lips. Her scent here is strong, nauseatingly so and so very sweet. For a moment he’s afraid he’ll give in and bring the irritated flesh to his mouth or press his tongue against it. Just a taste, that’s all he needs. Instead, he blows on it the way one might blow on a burn. This close he can see the hair on the back of her arm stand on end, the change in her scent subtle at first then thick and heady as she stares at him open-mouthed and in shock. 

Rey’s cheeks are painted with a lovely rouge that strokes something deep in the recesses of Ben’s Alpha brain. A sign that she didn’t hate the sensation, that she’s not afraid of his touch. It would be so easy to press his lips against the skin at her wrist. To kiss her there softly, but he’s afraid he’ll frighten her or makes her feel uncomfortable. 

“So,” he says, when he’s able to get his voice working again, the sound gruff and deep and filled with something he dare not define. “Let’s get you behind the wheel and see how you do.” Before he has a chance to let go of her hand, she awards him a gentle squeeze, his thumb tripping over the gland on the inside of her wrist softly. He doesn’t miss the way her breath hitches, or how her touch lingers just a little longer. The apprehension wavers between them until Ben makes the choice to break the spell. 

He gives her a smile reaching behind him to open the door. The summer air is warm and thick as he makes his way over to the other side of the car. A stark contrast to the air inside the car, cool from the air conditioner that Ben always keeps cranked. When Rey passes him there’s a moment he thinks she might reach out for him. A second where he wonders, maybe hopes that she feels whatever this thing is too. It had been there at the rink, this thread tied around his middle making it impossible for him to escape her. And again when they stood in his kitchen just a few nights ago, laughing over dishes. Like dancing around a flame their bodies moving and shift around one another. A dance of opposites drawn into the others pull. 

He has to adjust the seat before he slips in, pushing it back as far as it can go in order to accommodate for his legs. Rey laughs as he struggles with the angle before finally giving up and giving her a quick rundown of his mother's cars mechanics. Signal lights, wipers, day time runners and high beams. Not that he has any intention of taking her passed the confines of the parking lot but Rey takes it all in with wide-eyed enthusiasm. 

Ben warns her his mother's car has a sensitive break and to take it easy to start. Turning the keys in the ignition Rey checks her mirrors and then smiles, honest to god smiles at Ben, all bright teeth and fucking dimples. She has her sleeves rolled up again, her fine wrists warmed by the thick black material. For a moment, just one Ben wonders if she’s nervous. The way she takes a slow breath, exhaling through pursed lips is cautious at best. She’s vibrating with excitement and yet has never seemed so terrified. This little Omega with a bark so intimidating she’s made Alpha’s cower in her presence. 

“You got this,” he tells her softly, his body turned to face her, ready to grab the wheel if need be.

And, with a sure nod, Rey taps the glass lightly propelling the car forward. It doesn’t take long before she’s going circles around the parking lot demanding Ben teach her how to back into a spot. He explains how he was taught, lining up mirrors with lines and cutting the wheel just so. She does it over and over until the world around them is turning dark and the street lights start popping on overhead. Even then, she parks, backs up, does a loop before backing into another spot turning to Ben her face lit up in a permanent smile.

He watches her with reverence as she chatters animatedly about how grateful she is, and how it was so great of him to offer. Ben listens without actually listening as her voice rambles on in a sweet soothing melody while the Alpha in the back of Ben’s brain purrs with the need to tell her what a good girl she is. His good little Omega. So Smart. So talented. He pushes those thoughts deep and just smiles at her. He’s never seen her so vibrant and happy before, his mind curling in warm fuzzy tendrils because he did that. He made her smile.

“Let’s get ice cream, my treat,” he says suddenly, cutting her off from whatever tangent she was off on. Something about Rose and failing her driver's test several times. Rey looks at him confused, trapped between whatever thought is fleeting and Ben’s expectant stare. 

It takes her a moment, her hands gripped on the steering wheel before she agrees, the word “alright…” coming out slowly at first, before a soft smile tugs at the corner of her mouth. “Can I drive there?” 

He wants to say yes more than anything but it’s his mother's car and the daylight has left them. Rey seems to know what he’s about to say though because she punches him in the shoulder and chirps that she’s kidding, hopping out the driverside door to make her way back over to her original position as co-pilot. She moves quicker than Ben, then again she’s half his size, his legs getting tangled up as he tries to extract himself from the car. With the gracelessness of a baby giraffe learning how to roller-skate Ben finds his footing tripping and turning into Rey as she rounds the front. Her hands strike his chest as he tumbles forwards effectively pinning her against the hood of the car. 

The angle is awkward, as Rey lays there staring up at him. Her eyes are dark in the light of the street lamps but curious and fearful all at once. She’s breathing heavily which seems off for what little exertion it takes to turn a steering wheel and he can’t help but noticed the way her fingertips shift just a little pressing harder into his chest as he looms. 

They hold the position for a heartbeat, maybe two before Rey grumbles, “You better not fucking kiss me Solo.” forcing Ben to push himself back and retreat quickly. The close proximity to her mingled with the way her scent spiked just a little has him desperate for a cool shower and some space. His cock twitches in his shorts as he makes his way to the open door pretending to check something at the tire level so he can adjust himself accordingly. 

Tucking himself up into the band of his boxers he pulls his shirt down and ruffles it some in order to hide his growing irritation. The last thing he needs is for her to see that an accuse him of something unsavoury. 

Still, they make their way over to Daisys Dairybar, Ben had promised ice cream and he was determined to deliver. His erection blessedly muted he waits for Rey to spill out of the car before heading inside. There are students from school all around them, not a strange thing really with a school the size of theirs. Still, a few nod or wave when they notice Ben then fall into quiet whispers when Rey muddles along next to him. They fall in line behind a pair of beta females talking animatedly about ice cream choices while Ben reads over the menu quietly. 

“Know what you want?” he tries softly, looking down at Rey who seems pretty content to go back to ignoring him, “Fuck I can take you home if you want,” he grumbles next to her ear, bumping his shoulder into hers lightly, careful not to make a scene. 

“No, no,” she rushes, “I’m sorry, I am.” her eyes cast to the board on the back wall squinting carefully, “How are there this many flavours of ice cream.” she gripes joylessly. It’s painful to hear, like nails on a chalkboard making Ben’s inner Alpha scramble over possible ways to make his Omega happy. Not his, he needs to remind himself, Rey isn’t his.

“People get bored I suppose.” Ben offers lamely watching as the two girls in front move forward, next in line to be waited on. 

“I’ll have the strawberry sorbet,” he hears a feminine voice call, a voice he sort of recognizes. One that stirs in the back of his mind rubbing up against something familiar. It’s there, the memory of a memory, something he should know but he can’t for the life of him think of why. It makes him itchy the way it bounces around, his brain warning him that it's something important. 

“Is Heavenly Hash any good?” Rey asks quietly, her fingers curling around his arm as she draws in close enough for him to hear. 

“Uh yeah, it’s chocolate and nuts and marshmallow fluff, if you like that.”

“Ben?” That’s when it hits him like a slap to the face. The reason the voice made him feel so itchy. The reason he knew he needed to remember it. “Ben, Jesus, I haven’t seen you since last summer.” The girl, no woman who is standing in front of them ordering strawberry sorbet is Paige Tico. 

Paige Tico, Rose’s older sister, Ben’s would-be boss and Ben’s summer hook up last year. Nothing major, they just happened to find themselves at the same parties and in their drunken stupor managed to hook up a hand full of times. Paige had been pretty pissed at first to find out Ben was the same age as her little sister but the second time it didn’t seem to matter and every other time after that it seemed easy enough to forget. It hadn’t meant anything, not really. It was sex, the kind where both people manage to achieve an adequate means of release and leave the situation feeling satisfied. 

“Lara, this is Ben Solo, remember I told you about him?” Paige calls to her friend who has just put her ice cream order in as well. 

“Ben, Ben?” the friend, Lara asks. It’s hard to ignore the way her eyes comb over him, lingering on his chest and then a little further down. He’s pretty sure he doesn’t imagine the way Rey’s fingers squeeze into his arms lightly almost possessively as Paige and her friend start to giggle. “My god Paige, I see what you mean.”

Whatever that means does not bode well for Ben he is sure because Rey is starting to look upset.

“I hear you’re going to be working under me this summer Solo,” Paige says with a flirtatious grin, “Summer camps and all, should be fun.” 

“Y-yeah,” he clears his throat harshly, “Rey and I will be doing the sports camps.” 

Paige hadn’t seemed to notice Rey at first, cocking her head to the side like she’s looking at a toddler showing off their finger paintings. “Rosies friend right?” she offers, “Didn’t realize you had a girlfriend, Ben,” Paige simpers giving a heartfelt pout of her full ruby lined lips. 

When Paige offers Rey her hand Rey just stares at it, her hand curled around Ben’s bicep like a vice, “Nice to meet you,” she offers cautiously, prying herself away from Ben’s side after an unspoken moment to accept the proffered hand. 

“Rosie talks about you a lot, I’m really glad she has— oh thank you.” Paige accepts her ice cream trading it for a five-dollar bill and a muttered ‘ _keep the change_ ’ before she continues, “a friend like you, I didn’t realize you were dating Solo though. Lucky girl.” the wink Paige offers Rey spells trouble of the worst kind.

“We’re no—“ Rey starts.

“— thank me for everything he knows.” Paige manages to get out at the same time. 

Of course. Why not. 

Rey is looking between Paige and Ben wildly trying to figure out what exactly is going on. It’s like a slow-motion train wreck, the words that come next igniting like a bomb in Ben’s mind.

“What does she mean Ben?”

“—his own personal Mrs. Robinson.” Paige laughs with her friend, utterly oblivious to the powder keg she’s just lit. “But for god sakes don’t tell Rosie she’d lose her mind if she knew it was Ben I’d been hooking up with last summer.”

At first, she looks shocked, then hurt, then angry. The emotions pinwheeling across Rey’s features in quick succession. “Ben, can you take me home now?” she asks coldly, glaring at Paige as she and her friend settle into a picnic table nearby. They laugh and steal glances in Ben’s direction before giggling some more. Of all the things, of all the people. He hadn’t even thought about the implications when he’d been told Paige was helping Ahsoka run the program this summer. 

Well fuck.

“Do you wan—“

“—Take me home Ben,” Rey demands a little louder before turning on her heel and stalking off back towards the car.

Ben mouths ‘ _sorry_ ’ to the kid on the other side of the counter as he follows after Rey. He can see Paige watching curiously as Rey passes, her eyes wide as they flicker back onto him. Like she wasn’t aware she was shit disturbing. He refuses to believe that. Paige Tico may be a great many things but stupid is not among them. She scrunches her brow as Ben stomps passed and climbs into the car without another word. They make it about halfway down the street before Rey rounds on him, her voice loud and aggressive as she hollers, “What the fuck was that Ben?” 

He’s left at her mercy, not about to pull over and ask her to get out no matter how much he might want to. He’d realistically done nothing wrong but be in the wrong place at the wrong time. It’s not his fault Paige has a big fucking mouth, besides why should Rey care, it’s not as though they’re dating.

“It’s not like I knew she was going to be there,” Ben tries.

But Rey merely screams, “Shut up.” rather loudly, “You hooked up with Rose’s sister?” 

“Last year, so what?” did it really matter? part of him wants to tell her he barely remembers it but he doesn’t figure that would make the situation any better. 

“You really are just another Alpha Pig aren’t you?” She’s amping up, he can hear it in her voice, scent it in the air, “Do you just fuck everything that offers itself up? Did she chase you or did you go after her Ben? Did you toss her aside because she wasn’t an Omega, you couldn’t knot her so she wasn’t worth your time?”

He lets her go on, railing into him like it’s her lot in life to put him in his place, “Like all the others huh?” she grinds out, “No one else matters.” 

They’re less than two blocks from Luke’s when Ben finally pulls over. His hands gripping the wheel tightly as he tires reign in his anger. Don’t be too loud, too angry, too aggressive. Keep your temper in check. All things he’s been reminded of time and time again because of his designation, because of who he is. What though, is he suppose to do when he’s being verbally abused by someone, a woman and an Omega no less?

Rey stares at him, eyes narrowed and dark in the moonlight, “Can’t fucking believe—“

  
“What?” Ben barks out, silencing her quickly, “That I fucked someone? that someone wanted to fuck me? Is that such an unbelievable thing?” 

Rey forces her lips together as Ben pushes forward, “No, I didn’t knot Paige, I wouldn’t do that as hard as it can be to control. It would only have fucking hurt her and for your information, she was the one who pursued me. So you can reign in your accusations. I didn’t trick her, I didn’t abuse my fucking designation. I’m not a fucking rapist thank you.” it hurts the way she recoils, but another part of him thinks good, let her see what happens when she pushes someone too far. “It’s always my fault, I’m learning that now but did you ever sit back and think that maybe, just maybe I could have been the one taken advantage of? No?”

“Fuck you, Ben Solo.” 

“No Rey, that was Paige.” crude, horrible, pointless. He watches as her face falls and the next thing he knows she’s pushing her way out of the car, slamming the door shut. Maybe he’d taken it too far but fuck her and her holier than thou behaviour. When she starts walking Ben’s head starts to clear. It’s not a long walk but the night is getting cooler and no matter how upset he is he doesn’t want her walking the streets alone.

“Fuck off Ben,” she hollers, hands shoved into the pouch of her hoodie as he rolls the window down. 

“Get back in the car Rey. Let me drive you home.” 

“Fuck. You. Solo.” she growls and the sound of it makes him want to pin her down on the sidewalk right there. Feisty little thing that she is, flipping him the finger for good measure. 

“Be pissed off at me all you want.” he calls, leaning over the middle console as he looks between her and the road ahead, creeping along beside her at a snail's pace, “But be pissed at me from inside the car.”

“Is that an Alpha command?” 

“No, I’m just asking you to be smart about this.” How is it possible for one person to be so fucking infuriating?

“Oh, the poor little Omega can’t think for herself.” Rey mocks, “I’ve taken care of myself most of my life Solo, I’m fine without your brand of help.” that only makes his desire to help her more intense. The idea that she’s spent most of her life with no one to stand up for her? To protect her? It makes him see red. It’s not about not being able to, it’s about having someone who is in her corner. He wants her to know she’s not alone, that he’s there if she needs him to be, in whatever capacity she requires. 

Still, she doesn’t relent, they go the entire two and a half blocks Rey walking along the sidewalk with her head held high pointedly ignoring Ben while Ben drives slowly beside her. When Rey finally reaches Luke’s driveway Ben pulls in and watches her make her way to the door digging into her pouch for her keys. 

He waits until she has the door open ready to step inside when he calls out, “See you Monday,” because whether she likes it or not he’ll be here first thing Monday morning to pick her up. He’ll be someone she can rely on whether she wants him to be or not. 

Rey’s only response is a loud and proud middle finger before shutting the door and leaving Ben to make his way home. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Highschool Rey and Ben are so dumb for each other! 
> 
> I really hope this doesn't feel super filler-y I had a clear outline and then I was like BUT HOW DO THEY GET THERE?! And suddenly I started to fill things in because I can't keep anything clear and short.   
> The song played in Leia's car (Because I'm a sucker for lyrics in fic) is [Alanis Morissette - Hands Over Feet](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4iuO49jbovg) because I wanted something Canadian and it was either this or the Tragically Hip (Not saying the hip aren't coming guys... they might be)
> 
> Anyway, Love you all dearly, stay safe and come say hello on [the Twitter!](https://twitter.com/rebelscumreylo)


	6. We're the coolest kids and we take what we can get

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You like her,” Gwen says calmly snagging the beer Ben has been nursing for the past little while now. 
> 
> “Sorry?”
> 
> “Niima,” Gwen says taking a swig before handing it back, “Rey, you like her.” Be simply shrugs making Gwen laugh, “I don't think I’ve ever seen you like someone before. It’s weird. Stop it.”
> 
> “I’ll do what I can,” he tries feebly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really enjoyed this particular chapter for some reason. Nothing really happens but it was fun to write. Hope you enjoy it, friends!

True to his word Ben pulls into Luke’s driveway at five after seven on Monday morning, his Honda smelling like _new car_ and some weird floral air freshener that Leia decided to hide somewhere inside. It’s not unpleasant but it’s not exactly the scent he could have chosen for Geraldine. 

Geraldine being Ben’s car.

She's a good ole girl with a black cracking leather interior and a sleek four-door sedan body. Low profile with sparkling new rims and a sunroof. Han had found it for Ben when he was looking for a vehicle. An old colleague of Leia’s, Monica Monthma who went by Mon had bought the car brand new but barely driven it. “It’s old lady driven." his father had explained when they drove over to look at it. Ben hadn’t been entirely sold on the idea of a stick shift but Han swore up and down no son of his was going to get through life not knowing how to drive a standard. 

Turns out shifting gears wasn’t as hard as Ben thought it would be. He’d put a lot of work into Geraldine in the last year. Her rims, her stereo and speaker system, her exhaust (Out of necessity and _not_ to put one of those ridiculous fart cans on it like Poe suggested) were all replace. He switched out her headlights for the new LED ones that drove his mother nuts too. A lot of the work he was able to do himself with help from his father. The parts he was able to get at cost too which made the whole thing a lot easier. Gearldine was a pretty thing done up with a rich blue paint job. Civics were a dime a dozen amongst his peers but no one had one quite like his Geraldine. 

Ben is fiddling with the stereo switching out CDs when he hears Luke’s front door shut. When he looks up he almost laughs out loud, Rey looks absolutely miserable. She looks comfortable at least  in her capri cut yoga pants, her razorback tank top and zip-up hoodie but does not look pleased to be face to face with Ben first thing in the morning. She pads across the grass in her ridiculous mismatched converse sneakers sliding into the car in a huff. 

“Morning,” Ben hums, pressing an older cd into the stereo system with a grin. Rey’s only response is a grunt as she fastens her seatbelt and bangs her head against the headrest eyes closed in silent protest.

The car is filled with the quick strumming of guitar met with the easy drum line that has Rey groaning and swatting blindly at the volume dial, “Too early,” she mutters grumpily making Ben laugh as he adjusts the volume accordingly. 

“Coffee before children then?” He asks casually, backing out of the driveway, his hand on the back of Rey’s headrest as he watches over his shoulder. It’s early and the first of summer so the streets are pretty barren but Luke does have this one neighbour with about seven kids who run amok at all hours. The last thing Ben needs is to accidentally run over one of them.

“Please.” Rey groans and of course Ben is all too willing to oblige. 

And so they fall into a routine, every morning between seven and seven-ten am Ben pulls into Luke’s driveway, the Ataris’ blaring in his stereo as Rey clambers into the car groaning the music is too loud and Ben is too alert for such an ungodly hour. They go through the Tim Hortons drive-through because cheap coffee on a student salary only makes sense and then they head to the local elementary where they wait for the kids and the two other camp councillors to show up. Rey never says anything about Paige or the fight that she and Ben had gotten into and Ben is all too happy to leave well enough alone. He’s no fool, he knows not to poke a sleeping bear so to speak. 

Their amicable existence is strained but effective. They squabble and disagree more often than not but there have been no screaming matches as of yet which Ben takes as a positive.

Leia has taken it upon herself to keep them feed through the week. A good thing too because Rey as it turns out is not a morning person. She is exactly the opposite of a morning person and often forgets to bring her lunch. They eat together in silence while watching the kids as they joke and laugh and sometimes throw food at one another. 

The other two councillors are a pair of sophomores that Ben only barely recognizes. They however know him. The boy, Maddox yammers on about trying out for the hockey team this year while the girl Hannah just stares at him. Rey finds it funny of course because Ben is uncomfortable with the attention resulting in him spending more time with the kids than his peers. 

There’s no real structure to the days beyond when snack and lunch breaks fall. Ben and the others (mostly Ben and Rey) pick and choose what sports they want to showcase each day. Sometimes, they let the kids decide but that usually ends up in a mad game of soccer dodgeball or some kind of hockey hero worship. The latter almost always leads to Ben and Rey having an argument in the car on the way home.

Rey was reluctant to learn stick in the beginning. She made excuses about ruining his clutch and him never letting her live it down. It would take to long, she was hungry. When she was in a better mood the reasons became almost deflective and flirty. “ _You just want to see how good I am with a stick Solo_ ,” she chirped one day making him stop in his tracks. 

Never in all of Ben Solo’s life has he been so utterly perplexed by another human being. Hot and cold do not even begin to cover the rage of feeling that Rey pulls him through. She’s an inferno blazing bright filled with intensity and conviction. The only problem is Ben is never entirely sure when that heat is going to be turned on him threatening to burn him to the ground. 

Three weeks in and their routine has become comfortably familiar. Ben and Rey spend their Monday to Friday together wrangling young children and sometimes their fellow councillors followed by a little driving practice afterwards. Family dinners happen Thursday evenings with weekends playing wildcard. It’s not uncommon for Ben to find himself over at Poe’s playing pick up or at Hux’s watching a few of the boys play Call of Duty or Fortnight or whatever dumb ass shooter game they’re into these days. Usually Ben just sits around listening to them yammer on about whatever foolish thing happened that week. 

Hux and Rose have made it official but he hasn’t managed to get in her pants yet. He seems oddly cool with it while Poe has his eye set on Paige Tico’s friend Lara. No one brings up the fact that he and Finn have been hanging around a lot more. No one asks Ben about Rey either. Though girls are often the main source of entertainment, Niima only ever gets brought up in context to her skill with a hockey stick. Or her ability to smack talk. 

No one seems to have noticed the strange amount of time she and Ben have been spending together. Or, if they have no one feels it necessary to bring it up. Instead, they ask him about Paige _fucking_ Tico. He’d love to know who spilled the beans there. Ben has always been tight-lipped about his exploits. The only person he’s been with that his friends know anything about is Bazine Nettle and that was a public affair if ever there was one. 

Baz was one of those overly dramatic types that made an issue out of everything and wasn’t afraid to make it as vocal and public as humanly possible. If Ben forgot to call her back, the whole school knew about it. If she thought he was looking at another girl, she’d make the blow up a public affair and the makeup even more so. She was the kind of girl who had no qualms crawling into his lap while he sat outside between classes and very pointedly stroke him through his pants. And yes, while it had been hot as hell for the first little bit, the exhibitionist streak and calling him _Daddy_ was something Ben felt he could live without. 

At one point the nickname had gotten out and boys on the hockey team raked him over the coals about it. When asked about it Baz told anyone who wanted to know that it was because Ben was ‘ _blessedly proportionate_ ’ and no one brought it up ever again. Aside from Poe when he was drinking of course but Poe was like that and Ben knew it. 

He’s sitting in Hux’s basement on a Saturday afternoon when Bazine gets brought up again. Poe casually mentions through a fit of button mashing that seems rather pointless that he ran into Snap Wexley the other day. Ben had never really liked Snap and Snap had never been particularly fond of him. They tolerated each other for the sake of the team but outside of practice and games, they pointedly avoided one another. Poe on the other hand was close with the guy. 

“He’s still not happy that Captain got handed to Solo,” Poe says, jamming his thumb against the buttons as his character on the screen lobs blinking lights across the field. Bombs, obviously as Hux’s square of screen shakes and turns black causing the redhead to throw his controller at the ground. 

“I Swear to God Dameron,” he gripes as Poe laughs and his screen shifts. He’s going after Gabriel this time as the blonde laughs and curses his character's screen a whirl of doors and ladders as he tries to put space between him and Poe. 

“Don’t hate me cause you ain’t me,” Poe laughs, his shoulders moving around as he takes corners. He looks like an idiot playing the game with his whole body instead of just his fingers. 

“You want a go Solo?” Hux asks, offering the controller to Ben who turns him down with a shake of his head allowing Hux to get his revenge. Ben has played this game once and ended up having to buy Hux a new controller for his efforts. Apparently he’s an aggressive gamer. 

“What did Snap have to say?” Ben asks casually, more to be in on the conversation than actually caring. 

“Shit right,” Poe says with a hop as his player's screen plummets to the ground and flashes bright red. Gabriel hollers something like ‘ _gotcha fucker_ ’ as Poe squeals and bashes at the buttons again, “I ran into him at the mall, he was telling me about a party he went to. You’ll never guess who he hooked up with.” Poe’s eyes glance casually over to Ben pointedly as Poe’s screen flashes red and then black. Gabriel’s hands shoot in the air with a whoop of triumph and Hux offers him a high five. 

“Was it Paige Tico?” Hux says teasingly, swinging pointedly in Ben’s direction, “Can’t believe you hooked up with her and never told anyone.”

“All Summer at that,” Gabriel chimes in, “Tallie told me it was a pretty frequent thing.”

“And how the fuck would Tallie know Gabe?” Ben barks. 

Gabriel’s shrug tells Ben he could give two shits about who Ben fucks, “I dunno man, Paige probably told her. I wouldn’t be so pissed, Paige paints a pretty picture of your… fuck _seriously_ Poe?” there’s an explosion on the screen and all three screens go black. Poe, it seems blew them all up and is laughing maniacally about it. 

“Paige paints a pretty picture of what?” Poe hums turning the gaming system off so they can focus on the conversation. 

“I don't want to know.” But it doesn’t matter what Ben wants because Poe and Hux very much _do_ want to know.

“Rose won’t tell me anything other than how she’s pissed that her sister never told her.”

“There’s nothing to tell, so we hooked up a couple of times over the summer last year. Big shit. I don’t know why everyone's making this out to be something it’s not.”

“Oh, _Daddy._ ” Poe laughs and Hux squawks as Ben lunges for Poe pushing Armitage out of the way. Poe jumps on the bed and hops over an ottoman hiding behind Gabriel who has his hands up to shield himself from Ben. “Don’t be mad at me, there are worse problems to have than having a big dick.” 

Ben reaches around Gabe to grab at Poe who skirts away nearly knocking over Hux’s tv in the process. 

“Both of you sit the fuck down,” Hux growls, pushing Poe on the bed a little harder the necessary. In classic Poe fashion, he falls with gusto and gestures provocatively towards Hux who points a finger in Poe’s direction in warning, “Fucking smarten up of I hold you down so Solo can pound you.”

“Oh boys, I could use a good pounding. If you want a threesome I’m game.” 

Leave it to Poe… “I'm going home,” Ben grumbles but it’s Gabriel who convinces him to stay. 

“Come on, we haven’t hung out like this yet all summer, don’t let Poe’s idiocy ruin this.” Ben’s never really been close to Gabe, the two have played hockey together for years but it’s only been in the last year they've started to get close. He’s rational and easy-going about things which are decidedly two things that Poe and Hux are not always known for. He’s a good balance to their strange little group. Unfortunately Gabriel’s girlfriend Tallie doesn’t like him hanging around with the boys too much. She’s one of those _'text me every twenty-minute'_ types and good friends with Jessika Pava so she has a pretty obvious bias towards Ben. 

“Don’t know why you’re so touchy Ben, we’ve told you, everyone we’ve slept with, Poe at least everyone he remembers sleeping with.” Hux tries, his logic, 'we showed you ours so you show us yours.'

“I don’t see why you’re so interested.” this weird fascination with sexual partners seems strangely archaic. Or maybe Rey is rubbing off on him. No. No, he’s never felt it necessary to report back to the hive mind after he went to bed with anyone. Not that the number is high. He can count on one hand and truthfully he keeps his mouth shut to avoid stupid shit like this. 

“Anyway!” Poe cries, “No, not Tico. We aren’t done with that one either Solo. We’re coming back to that. No, Bazine Nettle.” 

Hux laughs, Gabriel whistles and Ben just groans. “I’m sure that was a treat.” That would explain why Baz hasn’t texted Ben in a while. Not that he’s heartbroken over that fact. 

“Dude, You fucking held out on us. Snap says she’s something else in bed.” 

“Then you can get the details from Snap,” Ben replies flippantly, he’s not staying if this is what they want to talk about. 

“Oh… I did. Spanking, hair pulling, breath play, was she into that stuff when you two were hooking up?” Considering Ben has been hooking up with Baz for months post break up, yeah, it’s safe to say he knows a lot of her kinks. He had a hard time when she asked him to put his hands around her throat. It was fucked, she was so little and he looked like he might kill her. That was the last time and thankfully she said she understood. 

It was strange, she was loud and obvious when they were dating but as a hookup, Baz was the kind of private that Ben liked in his life, “It was ages ago,” Ben tries. 

“The first time,” Leave it to Hux, the ginger-haired bastard. Sitting on his floor with his back against his bed, legs stretched out before him. His place and somehow Poe is the one lounging on the mattress. 

“I can’t remember shit she was into man, clearly nothing that memorable,” Ben and Baz dated in grade ten and broke up before the end of the year. They tried dating again this past year but it only lasted a few months before Ben realized Baz needed a level of commitment and a social life that Ben was unable to give her. 

He can’t help but think about what sort of nightmare might unfold if Rey ever found out about Baz or if the two ever found themselves in the same circle. Paige had been bad enough but Bazine Nettle would torpedo whatever goodwill Rey had towards Ben in a heartbeat. 

“Can you imagine Baz and Niima together,” Poe laughs. The fucker must be a mind reader, there’s no other explanation for the comment, “I’ve never seen two women more capable of busting Solo’s balls.”

“Can we stop talking about my dick and my balls, Jesus Poe I’m going to think all this joking is a cover-up for some deep-seated crush you have on me.” _Deflect, deflect, deflect_. 

“Oh Benny, you know I only have eyes for you,” Poe quips batting his lashes in Ben’s direction. Mission accomplished. 

The conversation devolves from there into a round table of positions, oral sex debacles, a rousing game of ‘ _has Tallie ever?_ ’ Because it is well known amongst the group that Tallie while maintaining a close hold on Gabe’s balls is not a fan of putting out. It’s a sin the way they boys sometimes make it sound like she’s broken because of it or that Gabriel's relationship is somehow lacking because Tallie doesn’t feel the need to get porn star crazy but as they say. _Boys will be boys_. Ben, while sorry their attention has turned to Gabriel is glad to be out from under the scrutiny of Poe the Hoe Dameron and his thirst. 

That night the boys manage to convince Gabriel and Ben to stick around and have a few drinks. Hux’s father is out of town on business and Gwen Phasma and her friends are coming over for a dip in the pool. Gwen and her friends turns into Gwen, Mitaka, Bryson, Holly and Anders with guest appearances by Rose, Rey, Kaydel, Jannah, Finn and Connor. 

Seeing Rey in a bathing suit was not something Ben had been prepared for in his existence and the alcohol only makes it worse. Her cheeks tinged pink with drink, her eyes glittering, dark and full of mischief. Ben watches, one the only few not in the pool, his index finger looped around the neck of a beer bottle while Hux and Poe fight Finn and Rey in a game of chicken. Rey dominates Poe laughing loudly as she sits atop Finn’s shoulders like a queen on her throne. 

After a few drinks, Ben doesn't even have the will power to hide his gawking. Instead, he watches like a predator, as her chest heaves beneath the heat of exertion, her lips upturned in a bright and brilliant smile. 

Someone splashes him calling him to join in as Gabriel does a cannonball off the side of the deck and soaks Holly, Anders and Kaydel. He can hear Reys laugh above the chorus of voices and the melody piped through the speakers, something top of the pops or modern countdown. It’s new and Ben doesn’t know it but Rey and Rose are singing along loudly, their coolers waving in the air as they sway back and forth. Is it Ed Bieber?

Fuck she’s beautiful. 

Her bathing suit is a high wasted thing, black bottoms with large white polka-dots and a red top that sits across her chest snugly and wraps around her neck in a sort of vintage style. It’s not as revealing as Kaydel’s two-piece or even Gwen’s strapless one-piece that rides high on her hips making her legs look like something off a runway. How Mitaka ever convinced Gwen Phasma to go out with him will forever by a mystery to Ben but the two just have this thing that works. 

Gwen is probably the only person in the school not afraid to tell Ben what she thinks. It’s one of the reasons he doesn’t flinch when she sits herself down on the deck lounger next to him, towel drying her platinum blonde hair. 

“You like her,” Gwen says calmly snagging the beer Ben has been nursing for the past little while now. His eyes absorbed in the way Rey’s mouth moves as she belts out the lyrics to a song Ben has heard a million times but never really listened to. It’s different somehow, hearing it through her, uplifting and catchy. Still not something he would choose to listen on his own but not something he would turn off either. 

“Sorry?”

“Niima,” Gwen says taking a swig before handing it back, “Rey, you like her.” Be simply shrugs making Gwen laugh, “I don't think I’ve ever seen you like someone before. It’s weird. Stop it.”

“I’ll do what I can,” he tries feebly. 

“Shit, Solo.” Gwen’s legs swing forward so she’s straddling the chair sitting upright. “This is fucking serious.”

“As a heart attack.” he finishes the beer pushing himself out of his chair to dispose of his empty and get himself another, “you want one?” 

“Please, Blue lobster.” Rich kids with rich taste and parents who are rarely around. There’s a reason these types of parties usually happen at Hux’s place. The pool helps but his father is never home leaving Hux to rule the roost. Brendol never says anything so long as the place is clean when he gets back and there are no complaints from the neighbours or other parents. 

Ben swipes another beer and a can of Blue Lobster vodka soda, the most pretentious thing he’s ever heard of before sitting back down. Gwen grins, cracking the tab to take a deep drink grinning as Mitaka waves at her from the pool. “It’s not a horrible thing caring for someone Benjamin,” she offers knowingly. 

“It is when they think you’re an ‘ _Alpha pig_ ’” Ben laments using the sleeve of his hoodie to pop the top off his beer bottle. This will likely be his last if he has any hope of not making an utter fool of himself. As it is it’s been difficult watching as Anders, some idiot friend of Gwen’s who Ben’s pretty sure is part of the drama club of all things hit on Rey. He can feel the Alpha within him prowling like an animal locked in a cage desperate for release. His jaw tense when he sees Anders put a hand on her shoulder as he laughs at something funny she said. 

Ben wants to break that hand off and beat him with it. 

“You ever think,” Gwen offers, leaning back against an extended wrist, “That maybe she feels the same way. Like… I don’t know fighting as a form of foreplay. Angry sex is fucking brilliant. Though I suppose I don’t have to tell you, you dated Nettle.”

“I really don’t want to talk about her.” 

“Dually noted, don’t blame you, even I wouldn’t touch her and we both known what a sucker I am for a soft pair of tits.” there’s a feline grace to Gwen’s voice. She’s the only Alpha female that Ben has ever met in his life and she’s utterly terrifying. Amazing, straight to the point but fiercely competitive and the only person who's ever been able to beat Ben’s time for Lando’s gauntlet. A feat that earned her Ben’s respect instantly. “I’m not saying you should go over there and bite her neck or anything, but Ben…” She tugs on the back of his sweater exposing the top of his shoulders than with her can of vodka soda pushes his hair aside exposing the mating gland on the back of his neck. “My friend, your glad is swollen and I can fucking smell you.”

“Fuck you, Gwen.” 

“No thanks, though I have heard—“

“—Don’t you fucking—“

“Hello, Rey.” 

Ben who had been glaring at Gwen hadn’t noticed Rey making her way over from the poolside. Her scent distorted by the harsh blanket of chlorine that sits on her skin, “Hey Gwen,” Rey offers with a smile, “I don’t know how you can drink that,”

“Sugar-free darling, need to keep my girlish figure.” As though Gwen needed any help with that one. 

“Oh… right.” Ben watches as Rey secures a towel around her torso and takes a seat at the end of Gwen’s lounger. A few people in the pool have started up another round of chicken fights, this time under the influence of a lot more alcohol. It doesn't take much before both teams are toppling over sending waves of water up and over the edge of the pool, “Uh Solo, you planning on heading out anytime soon?”

Ben blinks a moment looking between his beer and Rey before answering, “In a bit, yeah. What’s up?”

“Think you could walk me home? I’m on the way. I was going to crash at Rose’s but she’s going to stay here for the night and Finn is sticking around for Poe.” Something prickles in the back of Ben’s mind when Rey mentions Finn and without realizing he’s doing it (thanks Gwen) he has to stop himself from baring his teeth. Rey thankfully was watching Poe sneak up behind Gabriel before pulling the other boy under. 

“Uh—ye—yeah I’ll walk you home. Give me fifteen?” 

“Perfect, I’m going to go get changed.”

“You know where the washroom is?” 

Rey nods slipping off the seat to grab her tote bag by the door. She slips through the sliding patio door cautiously disappearing into the house before Gwen decides to comment, “Yeah… I give it…” tilting her head to the side the surveys Ben a moment and then sniffs the air, “three weeks.” 

“What three weeks?”

“Before the two of you fuck.” Like she’s talking about when she expected Ben is going to cut his hair next. 

Soon, he should really get that done soon. 

He nurses his beer waiting for Rey, downing the rest when she emerges in dry clothing with her wet hair tied up on top of her head in a messy knot, “We’re headed out guys.” She announces as Ben offers one solitary wave. There’s a chorus of _‘no’s_ and _‘not yet’s'_ along with the bellowed _‘don’t leave me daddy’_ that definitely came from a drunk Poe. Ben doesn’t respond feeling rather proud of himself as he pushes through the back gate and making his way off the deck and onto the grass. Rey joins him moments later, Gwen leaning against the railing of the deck. 

“Be safe you two.” she chimes in sweetly wiggling her fingers in their direction as Ben tosses her the middle finger pointedly. 

The walk home is quiet and uneventful. Rey talks about a book she’s been reading lately, and the camp they have coming up this week. She wants to start in with track and maybe soccer, get the kids practicing their dribbling. With the alcohol in her system, she’s lighter, quicker on her feet as she pretends to dribble a ball around as they walk. Every so often her hand bumps into his, their pinkies rubbing together lightly before she spins off and hops over cracks in the pavement. 

It’s nice, not feeling the pressure of forced conversation. The way words just flow out of her, happy and bright.

They’re a few blocks away when she complains about being cold. Her hair is still wet and she’s only wearing shorts and a t-shirt tonight, apparently, she left her sweater at Roses before they arrived at Armitage’s house. 

Without another word Ben has his hoodie pulled up over his head, his t-shirt tugged up along his belly as he extracts himself from the garment snapping with static. Rey laughs as she tries to flatten his hair while Ben pulls the sleeves off his arms and forces the thing over her head. His inner Alpha purrs, content with the idea of his little Omega wrapped up and secure within his scent. Her soft “Thanks Ben,” meek and sweet as she pulls the collar up over her mouth and snuggles into the fabric. He hates how much that one act means to him, watching her hum contentedly, her little fingers poking out beneath sleeves that are far too large for her. There’s nothing special about the sweater, it’s a hockey sweater from last year, black and comfortable with the Alderaan Knights logo on the front right breast and ‘Solo’ printed across the shoulders with his number, 5 beneath it.

She doesn’t give it back when he leaves her at Luke’s watching her until she’s disappeared inside but she’s wearing it Monday when she climbs into his car still half asleep and grumbling for coffee.

The kids are rowdy. It’s Monday, Ben has yet to finish his first cup of coffee, Hannah is late, it’s not even nine am yet and the kids are fucking rowdy. Rey however has his sweater tied around her middle stretching the arms to shit and Ben isn’t sure he has it in him to care. His scent is wound around her like a ribbon mingling with her scent as good as marking her as his. The only thing more effective would be walking up and rubbing his scent glad directly against hers. That, while sounding like the best idea he’s ever had is undoubtedly _not._

Still, every time he walks passed her there’s something there calming him, like a dog having his belly rubbed. He’s never really felt anything like it before like the rage is being slowly let out of him. Like he’s leaking angst and all that’s left is this strange spark of something that might be… joy. 

Rey has the kids running laps and doing relays when Hannah arrives. She’s nearly four hours late and while Ben generally doesn’t care too much about shit like this, it’s not the first time Hannah has left them high and dry. Part of him wants to leave it alone, he doesn’t get paid to deal with this bullshit but in the end, he knows he has to do something. It’s not his place to scold or reprimand. Instead, he sends Ahsoka a text explaining to her the situation. Her response is to tell him to text Paige providing him with her phone number which he realizes with some agitation is still in his phone. 

He can’t _not_ do it. He has to but he _really_ doesn’t want to open a line of communication with Paige Tico right now. Even if it’s only for work. It takes him fifteen minutes to suck up his male pride and send the text. Maddox and Hannah are huddled together talking animatedly watching Ben on his phone as he types out the message. Rey, thoroughly annoyed by this point has the kids run at Ben swarming him with warrior cries demanding he play a game called panther with them before lunch. Rey’s doing he’s sure as she stands with her arms crossed against her chest looking smug.

A quick send and he’s free. Grumbling to Rey that she’s evil as he lunges after a group of girls who squeal loudly and duck away hiding under the tricoloured barred dome. The one Ben would never be able to crawl inside in a million years. Instead, he climbs on top of it and swings his hand towards them as a young boy runs up to the edge of the grass and screams ‘ _panther panther_ ’ at him trying to get his attention. The game isn’t so much a structured game as it is a giant round of ' _catch me if you can.'_

The children run in circles taunting and gearing at Ben as he runs after one group and then turns on a dime running after another. He keeps it random and zigzags around to keep them on their toes. It seems moderately unfair that he be the one to dart and chase after the children while Rey stands on the sidelines enjoying her water, the water Leia packed for her. Hannah and Maddox standing off to the side still engaged in a heated conversation. 

Enough is finally enough as Ben lumbers over to Rey tagging her on the shoulder as he moves passed grumbling ‘ _you’re it_ ’ as he makes his way over to the other two counsellors. Maddox has the decency to look ashamed while Hannah holds her nose in the air and stares Ben down. 

“Ok, enough is enough,” he says pointedly, panting a little as sweat beads across his forehead. It’s hot, he’s wearing all black and he’s been chasing children for the better part of ten minutes straight. “Get your asses down there and do something.” 

Maddox scampers off quickly while Hannah levels him with a pointed glare, “You aren’t in charge here,” for just a minute he wishes he’d sent Rey in to deal with this. Rey who is standing down in the field in the middle of a bunch of twirling children, her hand pressed against her brow as she watches. 

“No? Were you put in charge?” 

“Were you?” she fires back hostilely

“Nope,” he pops the p pulling out his phone to check his messages, three from Paige, two addressing the issue saying she’ll be stopping by after lunch the third which Ben deletes quickly is of a more private nature. “She is,” he flips his phone around so Hannah can see the test message, at the very least who the message has been sent to, “So… have fun with that.” 

Hannah huffs as Ben joins the group. The children are laying in the grass staring at the sky. A few of them complaining about being too dizzy to move. “Might not have been a wise choice,” he tells Rey with a soft smile before declaring it lunchtime. 

Everyone files into the gym where they sit and pull out their bagged lunches. Ben and Rey sit huddled together, nothing new there. Their meals are sent in the same box after all. Leia had made the chicken wraps and homemade granola bars which admittedly Ben loved more than store-bought. Filling their bag with crackers and cookies and… 

“No way!” Ben startles as Rey pulls the small blue package out of the bag, “Your mom is amazing, I always wanted to get dunkaroos as a child but Plutt would never buy them.” Rey is positively giddy as she bypasses the wrap and goes straight to the dunkaroos peeling back the thin film exposing the cookies and icing within. 

Somehow Rey manages to get the icing everywhere. All over her fingers, on the corner of her mouth, even her nose grinning as she savers every last bite. When she’s done Ben offers her his, he was never fond of them anyway. She doesn’t even ask if he’s sure, she just rips the pack open and dives in with enthusiasm matching those of the children around her. By the time she's done, she’s licking her fingers clean before dipping her finger into the last bit of chocolate frosting. “Come on Ben.” she chides wiggling her index finger in front of him in a way that is nothing short of dangerous. She inches the digit before his nose threatening to wipe the sticky brown substance on him. 

“Do it Rey.” a young voice calls, followed by a chorus of encouragement from the masses. 

Rey is giddy as she threatens to wipe it against his cheek, coming close too doing it too before Ben grabs her wrist haulting her process. The kids call out a chorus of _“ouuuu”_ s. They know Rey is in trouble. This is how the game panther ends. The panther catches its prey. Ben’s not entirely sure what he’s supposed to do now that he’s caught her. This vexing creature before him batting her lashes coyly as she grits out, “What are you gonna do Solo.” 

Sugar and spice as they say but Rey is treading on thin ice and she knows it. She’s taunting him because she knows he won’t start a fight in front of the kids. She’s using it to her advantage too, wiggling her finger towards him tauntingly. 

Is she flirting? It feels like she’s flirting but one minute she could be happily taunting him and the next she’s calling him names so he has to be careful. Quickly he decides he’s not going to let her go, no she won’t get away with this. Instead, he brings her finger to his mouth, opens his lips and presses the chocolate-coated digit against his tongue. The kids squirm and squeal with disgust as Ben closes her lips around it and pulls it out with a pop. 

“That’s not sanitary.” one of the older kids cries but Rey is too stunned to do anything. Instead, she just stares wide-eyed at Ben who goes back to eating his lunch as if nothing happened.

“Eat your wrap,” he instructs.

While Hannah nearby can be heard grumbling, “Get a room you two.” 

Rey pointedly avoids him after that finishing her lunch with a group of girls who ask her questions about her ear piercings and want to know how she gets her hair to stay in those silly three buns. Ben watches as she helps each of the pull their hair back into a similar style, rolling his eyes as he starts post-lunch clean up. 

Paige stumbles in a few minutes later, her hair pulled back into a high ponytail that just sort of sticks up in the air and large black sunglasses that make her look like a movie star. She’s holding her wallet and her phone in one hand as she waves Ben over with the other. Her khaki shorts seems a little too short as she bounces on the balls of her feet drawing in close he assumes so they can talk without being overheard. 

“You never texted me back,” Paige accuses lightly playing the offended as she slides her glasses up onto her forehead.

“I’ve been a little busy with the kids.” and he didn’t want to entertain her anymore then he had to. He had no plans on pursuing anything with her after all, certainly not while she sits in the position of his boss, and then there's Rey... “What happened to keeping that between us anyway?”

Paige at least looks remorseful when she makes eye contact, her brows arched in as she offers him a weak smile, “Ben I’m so sorry. That was Lara… I hope you didn’t catch any grief from all that.” 

Oh… only a huge fight with the girl he’s starting to think he might be in love with and mercilessly teasing from his friends, “Usual guy shit,” it’s not a lie.

“I don’t see why it’s such a big deal anyway. So… it happened. I would think it would make you look like a hero.” Ben shoots her a questioning look, “Not that I’m some hot catch or anything just… you know. Older girl and all.” Her shoulders offer a half-hearted shrug. 

“I just don’t like people in my business—” 

“— Is this your girlfriend?”

Ben looks down to see Cassy, one of the younger girls, a blond missing her two front teeth looking up at him and Paige expectantly. Paige looks stunned, while Ben tries his best to school his features. The hair on the back of his neck starts to prickle and when he looks up he can see Rey staring directly at them, watching curiously with her hands woven into a little girl's hair. 

“Don’t be silly Cass,” a little boy says as he throws his leftovers into the garbage, “Rey is Ben’s girlfriend, isn’t she Ben?” 

Paige quirks a brow looking at Ben with a playful grin, “Yeah Ben, which of us is it?” she quips lightly. He can smell the way Rey’s scent changes, sharper and darker and mixed in with it the scent of _him_. Something he can’t really quantify, because it’s so familiar to him now he doesn’t know exactly what it smells like only that it belongs to his skin. Paige thankfully is a Beta and so the whole scenting thing doesn't quite have the same effect. Still, her nose twitches as she looks between Ben and Rey just once. 

“I don’t have a girlfriend,” Ben grumbles moving away from Cassy to instruct a group of kids to pack up their things and get ready to go back outside. Hannah and Maddox are tidying up garbage as the kids put their lunch bags back into the backpacks and start to head for the door, Rey in tow. 

“Good to see you again Paige,” Rey offers as she passes, “I’m giving them the rundown of the game. Help me demonstrate when I’m done?” Ben nods, as Maddox and Hannah make their way over to joy the group.

“Not you Hannah,” Paige calls happily, “I need you to come have a chat with me for a moment.”

Hannah scoffs, “Ben’s just being a jerk,” 

“Oh, so Ben’s the reason you’ve been so late?”Paige doesn’t let Hannah have an opportunity to defend herself before pushing forward, “No, I didn't think so. Thanks, Ben, we’ll chat later.” 

Ben offers her a sure and heads to the door. He has no interest in listening to whatever is about to go down and leaves the gym behind with a hop and then a jog. Rey is explaining to the children all about soccer, her eyes bright as she dribbles the ball between her feet. The kids ask questions which Rey answers as best she can, and Maddox hands out the pennies. Blue and yellow, six kids on each team. “Ben’s going to help me demonstrate some basics, right Ben?”

“Right,” joining her on the field it’s hard not to miss the snickers from some of the kids huddled together as Ben stands towering over Rey. She’s dribbling the ball between her feet telling him to try and steal it before ducking away and weaving passed him. She’s light on her feet, her scent dancing around him dizzyingly as he tries to move quickly to catch up. 

“Ben’s at a disadvantage here,” he hears Rey explain wondering why Maddox isn’t here helping her demonstrate instead. “He’s big and broad and while he’s fast, I’m—“ he kicks at the ball as she rolls it backwards out of his range before moving it back and forth, "Faster," she purrs.

He watches it closely trying to predict her next move. His eyes on her feet but he can smell her joy in the air. He goes for the ball and Rey taps it through his legs, spinning around him so that her shoulder brushes his. 

“You find your opponent’s weak spot. Ben’s fast but not fast on his feet like I am.” she chimes from behind him. She’s teasing him and he’s letting her. It makes his wrists itch as she ducks and dribbles the ball between her feet hooking her toe under it in an attempt to bounce it once, twice, three times on her foot before trapping it beneath her heel. Ben tries to fake her out but Rey laughs and zigzags, running circles around him until he gets tripped up by his own feet and falls to the ground like a giant with his shoelaces tied together. If giants wore shoes that is. 

“Ben!” a few of the girls cry out, Rey standing over top of him looking down at him as he stares up at the sky. 

“Watcha doing down there Solo?” 

Ben swipes his foot taking her legs out from under her. Rey to her credit falls gracefully, laughing as she tumbles into his lap. The ball rolls away to be said by Maddox as Gavin, the little boy from before mutters, “See, I told you Ben and Rey were together Cassy.” 

The red in Rey’s cheeks make it all worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter it's happening guys... the angst and the attraction come to a head, that's right... the smut.   
> It's written and it's really long so friends, so do I post the sexy times in two chapters or one large chapter?  
> Let me know what you think lovelies xoxox 
> 
> Come say Hello on[The Twitter](https://twitter.com/rebelscumreylo)


	7. I'll be going through withdrawal of you for this one night we have spent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You— You don’t get to do this. This isn’t a game Rey.”
> 
> “I know it’s not.”
> 
> “Do you? Do you really? Because if you knew that you wouldn’t be here- you wouldn’t be torturing me like this.” he groans, loud and pitiful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... uh... I resisted the urge to rewrite this several times and I'm just posting it. It's long buuuuut it's happening.

“You are nothing but an Alpha pig!” She’s hollering in his face, her eyes wild as she jabs him in the chest with her finger. This, he has learned is a signature Rey move. Making herself seem far larger then she actually is, trying to intimidate her opponent no matter their size. This is how she’d gotten Hux to bare his neck but Ben isn’t going to back down. Not now, not ever

He also isn’t about to stand around and take this bullshit either. Things had been good, or so he’d thought. He’d been picking her up for work for weeks now, sharing lunches that his mother had made them while the camp kids ate theirs. She drove his car whenever she wanted under the guise of needing more practice but Ben was convinced she was more than ready to take her road test. They laughed, they joked, sure they squabbled but it seemed all in good fun. The proverbial pulling a girl's pigtails because he likes her, because he does, he's come to realize far too quickly, like her that is. 

What then, had changed?

“Fuck off Niima.” He growls as he turns on his heel and starts to walk away. Whatever she had been expecting of him, this wasn’t it. He can tell because for once in the short amount of time he’s actually known her Rey has been rendered speechless. Her scent shifts into something dark and distressing but Ben forces himself to walk away. He refuses to be her punching bag, not tonight. He’s done with the verbal abuse. It’s not sparing anymore, it’s borderline cruel and really it’s all his fault. He showed her he was ok with it, sure he goaded and antagonized but tonight he'd barely spoken two words to her. He wasn't sure what all the animosity was about but it sure as hell wasn't him

Rey arrived with Rose and Kaydel, waved in his general direction and then started in on her trademark bottle of Jack. Ben had been sitting by the fire all evening nursing a beer while the chairs around him cycled through occupants. He wasn’t even sure why he bothered to come out, he hadn't exactly been feeling social as of late and that's usually when he gets called an asshole or something worse. 

This must be the _something worse_. Rey hadn't been seated more than ten minutes, pulling up a chair with Jannah and Tallie whom Ben was surprised to even see out. Gabriel taking up perch on the arm of her chair shortly afterwards. The conversation was light. Teasing sure, but nothing out of the ordinary. Certainly, nothing warranting this. 

He honestly isn’t even sure what's set her off, it could have been anything but he isn’t doing this. He's worth more than this and she is too. If she isn’t going to open her eyes to that truth then the least he can do is remove himself from the equation. He shoots her the finger as he heads through the hedges heading to the front, beer left in the dirt half drank while Rey continues to call to him. It's her voice, he knows it's her voice because he could pick it out in a crowd but fuck this, he can't fight with her right now. He won't.

When he makes his way home, the house is blissfully quiet, his parents gone on their annual couples getaway leaving Ben to his own company for the weekend . He slips into the house quietly locking the door before he grabs a glass of water, some Advil and heads down to his room. Fuck this night, fuck Rey Niima, fuck it all. The sooner the school year can start the better. The beginning of grade twelve means the beginning of the end. It means university applications and senior trips and graduation. 

He can’t wait for graduation. 

It’s a thought that’s been fluttering through his mind for some time now. The idea of getting out of this town and away from the monotony. It’s not that he doesn’t like his friends, his family, his life. It’s just that sometimes he gets tired of it all. The same thing day in day out. That was until Rey. 

Rey made him want things he’d never wanted before, made him wonder what life could be like living as a pair instead of a single unmated Alpha. She’d confused him, muddled up his mind and made him feel things he’d never felt. 

It’s the singular most frustrating thing he’s ever experienced and that’s saying something because Ben has not been without frustrations in his life. 

Three months, that’s all it’s taken for her to worm her way under his skin and derail his thoughts completely. He hates her for it and yet the feeling that settles into his heart whenever he hears her voice, or someone says her name is the further thing from hatred. It's warm and fluttery and fucking obnoxious, an emotion that he knows but doesn't dare repeat the name of

He thought he could handle it, the banter, the unwarranted aggression. Some days he thrives off of it, pushing her buttons in a way he knows is sure to get him in trouble. Ben had even come to expect the glare, or the quick comments whenever he spoke but now he’s realizing just how exhausting the whole thing actually is. 

He’s laying on his bed fully dressed when he hears the click the front door shutting. His parents must be home early, not uncommon on these trips. Inevitably Han will say something stupid and piss Leia off. He’ll try to make it right and either they’ll fall madly, passionately back in love with one another or Han will be left to sleep in the guest room for the next two weeks. If they’re home now then chances are good Han will be bound for guest room exile but the footsteps, singular footsteps, falter once they hit the kitchen. Odd. 

Whatever, no matter. 

Ben drapes his arm over his face and closes his eyes again. The room is dark but for the soft moonlight that filters in through his half-open window and the pressure against his forehead is comforting. Soothing the headache that’s building behind his eyes. It’s become a sort of a thing now, the way his head pounds after she starts to holler at him. A mixture of her scent and the anxiety that her voice brings him. Not the sound of it necessarily, more than the knowledge that she’s distressed and he’s the cause with nothing he can do to make it better. The knowledge that he cannot protect his Omega. Not his… no, because she’s not. She’s just always there, always around as though she knows. As though she’s mocking him with her presence. 

That’s when it hits him, the scent. It’s sweet as it lingers in his nose forcing him upright far too quickly. His eyes struggle to focus in the dim light while is mind reels because it’s not his parents standing in his kitchen. It’s Rey. She’s here. Nevermind how. The how of it doesn’t matter it’s the _why_ that has him stunned. Why is she here in his house? Why has she come?

Panic spikes and crashes around him because what is he suppose to do now?”

The real question is why should he do anything at all? But, that’s the problem, isn’t it? Always feeling like he needs to do something when she doesn’t want him to do anything. She doesn’t want anything from him other then… then what? An apology for being born an Alpha? 

Yet another reason he simply cannot wait to graduate. Surely to god foolish things like designations won’t be such an issue in university… right?

With a huff, Ben falls back against his bed waiting to see how all this will play out. Not in his favour he’s sure. It never does when Rey is involved. It’s always his fault, he’s done something, said something, breathed the wrong way. Draping his arm back over his face he groans because his head still hurts and she’s moving through the house. He knows she’s getting closer because her smell is getting stronger, heavier, thicker in the air until it’s just there lingering like a miasma on the other side of his door. 

“I know you’re there Rey…” he calls out, his voice no more than a deep rumble because he doesn’t have it in him to start up with this bullshit all over again. He’s tired and feels it straight through to his core. His bones are weary with it, that dull thud that reminds him he’s pushed his body too hard but she… she tangles herself into his thoughts and makes his mind feel like he’s never stopped running. 

He can hear her gasp, smell the way her scent shifts into something he’s not scented on her before. Apprehension maybe. It’s like fear but sweeter, not the bitter taste of anger and anxiety something that lingers dangerously close to hope. As though she’s not sure she’s making the right decision but…

She’s not and he’s going to tell her as much the minute she walks through that door. 

When she finally decides to push it open she’s everywhere all at once and Ben realizes in an instant just how epically horrible this decision is. She’s never been in his room before. It seems she’s been everywhere but. Her scent still lingers on the couch in the living room or on his mother's stupid decorative pillows but he can escape it there. It gets washed away beneath a myriad of other smells until it’s just barely there mixed in with everyone else’s so that he can’t quite pinpoint it unless he’s looking for it.

That’s the problem though, he’s always looking for it and to smell her with his father's scent or Luke’s scent draped over it makes Ben’s skin itch. 

It’s why he hides away in his room like a teenage recluse but now she’s here and her scent is… it’s so strong he feels like he’s gagging on it. Like she doesn’t use suppressants at all only he’s seen her take them. He’s seen her smother herself in the topical deodorant stick on those days they play pick up in the street.

Which begs the question of how can he still smell her? And more importantly, why can’t she just leave him alone?

“What do you want?” he finally asks, his voice strained beneath the weight of the pounding in his head. It feels like someone has his head pinned in a vice forcing her scent up his nose. When he finally looks at her his eyes ache in protest because the hall light is on and the sudden change is harsh. It illuminates her outline casting her features in shadow as she just stands there, shoulders hunched, hands balled into fists. She looks like she’s shaking though its more of a soft tremble in her hands as they hang at her side.

She looks like she’s shivering but the heat pump is off and the room is warm, far warmer then he usually likes. “You left…” Her voice is thick and foggy, the words falling out as an accusation that sounds almost like a plea. Like he’s done something he should be ashamed of, like he’s… like he’s hurt her in some way.

It bounces around in his head echoing her need through his mind like a child's cry. His body lurches, flooded with a need to go to her that is so strong it pains him to resist. But, he’s tired of playing these stupid games he can’t win. Rey has the deck stacked so high against him it’s a fool's game to play and he’s done making a fool of himself. He won’t do this anymore, won’t play puppet to whatever charade she’s got laid out in her mind. He’s only an asshole if he lets her turn him into one. He won’t be baited. 

Instead, he sits there, shoulders hunched, his knees bent at an awkward angle as he brings his heels together. His exhale comes as a huff, a little harsher then maybe he intended because she sniffles and Ben isn’t prepared for that, “Yeah… yeah, I did.” he agrees because what else can he do? “I don’t have it in me to fight with you, Rey. Not tonight ok?” he wets his lips quickly, a big mistake because now he can taste her in the air. “Come back tomorrow, I’m sure I’ll say something that’ll piss you off then. We can talk about Luke. I know how much you love hearing my opinions about him.”

She hates them. She thinks Ben is ungrateful for all his Uncle has done for him and she defends Luke vehemently every chance she can. As if she’s made it her one goal in life to be Luke’s personal cheerleader. Jokes on her though, Luke doesn’t give a shit. 

“You. Left,” she says the words again harsh and sharp as her hands start to shake, really shake this time. “You get pissed off and we fight but you… you never leave.” 

“Am I suppose to just take the abuse then? When was I made your personal punching bag?” 

“What?” it sounds like a sob but he must be mistaken because…. because this isn’t them. She’s right, they fight and get angry this isn't anger. This is something new entirely. It’s raw and it’s thick and it’s confusing because it’s so sweet and it calls to him with a need to protect and to hold and to _cherish._

He can’t let himself go to her, he can’t because if he does it’s over. His walls down, his soul vulnerable and she’ll rip him to shreds because right now all he wants to do is hold her. “Rey… I’m exhausted. I have a headache. I really… I just can’t do this right now. Why don’t you…” he sighs as he shifts, the position is hell on his back, he’s too big to be slumped over himself like this, “Just go sleep it off in the spare room down the hallway if you’re that drunk.” 

“I’m not drunk,” she mutters, her voice small, almost weak and afraid. No. _Terrified_. It spikes and crashes, everything in the room around them a tsunami of confusion. Is she even aware that he can sense all of this? This bittersweet radiating off her like melted dark chocolate, “I’ve been drinking water all night.”

Right… and he and Hux have been secretly dating, “Out of a bottle of Jack…” 

“Yes, so people would stop trying to feed me alcohol. I don’t…” Rubbing her wrist on the inside of her forearm idly Rey scrambles for something to do with her hands. It distracting, so so very distracting that he can’t hear what it is she doesn’t want. He can’t focus on her words because she keeps rubbing at her scent glad and the smell that blooms off her is making him dizzy. 

“You — You need to stop that.” he demands “Now!” she must not understand what he means because she doesn’t stop at all. She only presses her wrist into her forearm harder as though there’s an itch beneath her skin that she just can’t get to. “Rey…” he warns, his voice edging on a command that he knows he shouldn't use. He’s never done it before but it tastes different in his mouth, thick and sweet like toffee. “Rey.” Softer, good, he needs to be softer, urging her to realize what it is she’s doing because she doesn’t seem to know. Instead, she’s moving towards him as he all but whines, “Rey, stop, _please_.”

When she sobs this time it’s loud and obvious like she’s in pain and it makes his skin crawl. The only thing that stops him from reaching out is the knowledge that she doesn’t want this, doesn’t want _him_ and he refuses to be the type of Alpha she so viciously accuses him of being. Yet here she is and she’s coming closer not running away, “Why can’t I stay away from you?” 

It’s a sentiment that he finds himself echoing, “I wish I fucking knew,” Ben offers roughly, but she flinches and she’s right there, so close, so very very close. She hates him, she fights him, she screams at him and yet she lingers still just a foot from the end of his bed. “Rey, I don’t know what's going on here.”

“I don’t either!” She yells it and her voice sounds strained and desperate. It’s like having a caged animal in front of him, lashing out, needing to torment and push and fucking drive him insane. Only the bite dies there. There are no insults, no more yelling. It’s just the one outburst and the ragged breathing of a confused girl who desperately does not want his love. 

Only maybe she does, it’s so hard to tell. 

Despite his better judgement Ben scoots down to the end of his bed and just sits there. If he were to reach out his hand he could touch her but he won’t. He won’t but oh how desperately he wants to. Instead, he sits calmly, feet planted on the floor his hands groping the end of his mattress. A moment passes where nothing really happens. Then another and another. She just stands there staring at him. Her eyes wide and furious, lashes damp. The dark makeup she’d been wearing around her eyes now smudged as though she’s been rubbing at them incessantly. Rey had looked so perfectly put together when he’d left Dameron’s stupid party so somewhere between now and then she managed to muck it up. It makes her look a little like a raccoon or some odd fan service to Alice Cooper, the way the black makeup smudges against her tanned skin.

Her mouth is still painted dark though, in that red-brown lipstick she’d been wearing. The same colour as his favourite shirt making her teeth look impossibly white while accenting the fullness of her lips. Seeing them painted up like that had made Ben think the most depraved thoughts. Things that made his heart quicken and the blood pool low in his groin. Like watching those lips spread wide around his cock as he pushed and pushed and _pushed_ into her mouth until she couldn’t take any more. Those were the Alpha thoughts she hated him for, the thoughts he's starting to hate himself for. 

His shoulders slump as he says her name and then suddenly she’s on him. It takes everything not to fall back against the bed because she’s unreasonably strong for someone her size. Her arms wind around his neck and she’s clawing at his shirt as though she’s not quite sure what to do. A need to take it off, a need to get closer, a need to feel everything all at once. 

Ben is frozen between a very distinct want and a need to be more than his biology. It has to be a trap, a way to trip him up so she can lord it over him. So she can tell him what an Alpha pig he is for being unable to control himself when an Omega throws herself at his feet. But her hands are shaking as she paws at the back of his shirt and she’s saying his name. _Ben_ , not Solo. It sounds like magic on her tongue, the way she whispers it like a secret. Then she’s rubbing her wrists against his neck and Ben’s heart stops. 

They were in the same sex-ed class, he knows they were because she used to ask the most ridiculous questions that made everyone else feel uncomfortable. He knows she was there when Ms. D’acy covered scenting because he can remember Rey scoffing at the back of the classroom about how arctic it was to mark another human being like that. She had been so against the idea that she and Poe had started an argument about it and both had gotten detention. She hated the concept and yet here she is all the same. She knows the implications of her actions just like she knows how Ben is likely to respond. Yes they fought, yes she hated him but he’d never pegged her for being so cruel. 

“Stop,” he tries but his voice catches in his throat, “s-stop,” grabbing her wrists he pulls them away but it’s too little too late because her scent is on his skin now, it’s etched into his flesh like a brand. When she isn’t touching him anymore she whimpers… she actually _whimpers_ , “Rey… what’s going on?”

“I fucking hate you,” she cries but there’s no real bite to her words, just a sob and a plea. He wants to argue her actions might say otherwise but the words die on his tongue as Rey starts to cry, “You fucking left… and… I just… I feel…” she hisses out a straggled breathe, “I hate this feeling,” wrenching her hands out of his grasp she gestures around them wildly, “This wild and burning thing that I feel whenever I'm around you.”

“I… what are you talking about?” 

“Oh don’t be an arrogant prick about this Ben,” She’s just standing there hovering over him and it’s all he can do to avoid staring at her chest. Those perfect little mouthful that sit there staring him in the face. She knows it too because she smirks when she says, “Don’t you feel it?”

He pushes her back, her skin hot beneath his palms, so sweet and soft and begging for him to touch it. His hands shake as he slams them back against the mattress and looks away immediately, maybe she’ll think he’s childish, maybe she’ll think he’s brooding but he doesn’t care. “You— You don’t get to do this. This isn’t a game Rey.”  


“I know it’s not.”

“Do you? Do you really? Because if you knew that you wouldn’t be here- you wouldn’t be torturing me like this.” he groans, loud and pitiful.

“You think this is fun for me?” 

He can’t even think about the accusation there because _yes_ , he does think she’s having fun. She’s fucking with him, drowning him in her scent, covering him in it until there’s more of her there then there is him. She could walk away right now and it would be there burning his skin making his cock unbearably hard. Because it is and he’s ashamed because he’s sure she can smell it, the thick musky scent of his arousal. 

“Yeah… you know what… I honestly do. You seem to get some kind of kick out of fighting with me.”

“You’re one to talk,” Rey mutters but it’s half-hearted and lacks conviction.

“I walked away tonight Rey,” he grinds out, stopping himself from subconsciously rubbing his wrists against the edge of his mattress. His whole body is on high alert, his muscles feel like they’re wound too tight like he’s pushed them too hard. “I’m done with the baiting and the yelling and the constantly pissing you off. I get it. You hate all Alphas, you hate me, very good. Why are we still at this?”

“Because I can’t get you out of my fucking head!” she screams, “You’re everywhere and it’s suffocating and I don’t… I don’t want to want you but I do.” her words die off in a whimper as she hangs her head in defeat. Her body shudders beneath the weight of her admission but all Ben can focus on is that she wants him. She wants him. _She wants him_. 

It can’t… it’s a joke, it has to be but there’s this niggling in the back of his mind that tells him it might _not_ be, “Don’t fuck with me right now Rey. This isn’t funny.”

“OH… OH I know it’s not funny,” her laugh is so bitter he can taste it on the end of his tongue, “It’s some fucking cosmic joke is what it is.” Oh good… more put-downs but she doesn’t say another thing. She’s still, her breath falling in soft puffs before she launches herself at him again and this time he doesn’t have the will to fight her off. Her mouth tastes sweet as she pushes their lips together taking full advantage of his shock. They’re warm and wet like she’s been running her tongue over them. Something she does repeatedly when she’s nervous. The kiss is almost soft at first, a question as her lips part and her tongue finds the seam of his mouth.

He knows he should be telling her to stop but he can’t, not when she climbs into his lap. Not when her knees press into the mattress beside his hips. She shifts and she’s hovering over top of him just a little so that he has to angle his head to maintain their connection. Her arms slide around his neck slowly, grinding her scent glad into those behind his ears. It makes him gasp and Rey takes the opportunity to deepen the kiss. She angles her head and slides her tongue along his whimpering softly into his mouth. God, the sound of her, the way she holds herself trying to remain in control and he’ll let her too. He’ll give her all the power she needs if only she’ll keep kissing him like this. 

Ben has kissed girls before, but he’s never been kissed quite like this. It’s determined and demanding, the kind of kiss that people work up to and she’s just there pushing into it with no intention of stopping.

Their teeth clack together and it’s jarring but not enough to stop. Ben can feel the way her fingers toy with the hair at the base of his neck. Small digits curling thick locks around and around until the hair falls off and she starts the process all over. Then she drops her hips and his world explodes in technicolour. He can feel her through her shorts, warm and so wet already, so very _very_ wet, her thighs damp with slick. It’s then he realizes she’s not fucking with him at all. She wants this… she wants him and it’s almost enough to untether him completely. 

Unsure what to do with his hands, afraid he might scare her if he does the wrong thing Ben wraps his arms around her pulling her closer. Her breath hitches and he swallows the sound, chasing after it as she pulls back a fraction only to crash against him again. They fight for dominance, a half-assed battle of lips and tongues that he’s content to concede if it means she won’t stop. His hands play across her back, one hand between her shoulders, the other above the hem of her shorts just holding her against him. She can get away if she wants and he can feel the way she tests the embrace, pushing into his touch before pressing her chest hard against his. 

“Fucking. Solo.” she grounds out between kisses. Her eyes are closed as she devours his mouth, their noses bumping against once another as she nips at his lower lip. There’s a soft tug and she’s kissing him again, over and over as she begins pawing at his back again tugging the fabric of his T-shirt.

It’s obvious what she wants but he’s not about to give in to her quite yet, content to play this game for as long as possible. He’s sure any minute she’s going to stop, to push him away and tell him he’s a prick. a pig, an Alpha dog, but it doesn’t come. Instead, all he gets are soft keening moans as she tries to work the fabric that’s pinned between them free. 

“Ben,” she whines as she pulls away, her eyes dark and searching as she takes him in. They jump from one thing to the next, as though his face is something she’s never quite seen before, as though there's something there she’s missing. Without a thought he leans in again and kisses her neck, his nose nuzzling against the lower arc of her ear as she slowly grinds herself down against him.

He doesn’t care that he’s hard or that she’s going to feel it because she’s making his shorts damp and he fucking loves it. As his lips work down the smooth column of tanned skin Rey arches into the embrace. He can feel her chest heave against his own as her fingers massage gently at the base of his neck. It’s steady and firm until her fingers slide into his hair again and she pulls. Hard. It burns just a little but it feels so fucking good. Her grip is tight pulling on a handful, giving her control over his head as she angles him for another kiss.

The embrace is harsh, her fingers still pulling before she lets go with a soft huff and begins tracing the outer shell of his ear with her fingertips. Everything about this interaction screams Rey Niima, the hot and the cold, the intense pleasure mingled with the delicate joy of it all. When she stops kissing him he’s sure it’s over, nothing this good can last and she hates him after all. She may want him but she hates him all the same. 

If she hates him so much, then why is she looking at him like that? 

Her chest heaving before pressing her forehead against his. “I…” She starts, but she’s rolling her cheek against his, nuzzling against his face until it's their necks being rubbed together softly. It’s the most intimate thing Ben’s ever experienced and he’s not entirely sure what he’s supposed to do about that. 

Snatching one of her hands as she rubs herself against him he places a soft kiss at the inner pulse of her wrist. Her scent is strong there, so sweet and temping that he can’t help it when his tongue darts out to for a taste. It catches her off guard as he places open-mouthed kisses along her wrist and palm before nibbling softly along the inner flesh of her index finger. 

His name is on her lips again, _Ben. Ben. Ben._ He wants to imprint the sound of it in his mind so he’ll never forget how sweet it is to hear falling from her lips so thick and full of need.

“You’re so wet,” he mumbles kissing the bottom of her jaw, then the angle before licking the gland beneath her ear along her neck. 

“Shut up.” Soft and breathy she makes her demands but rolls her hips against him anyway. The added pressure leaves him saturated, his cock now damp through the layers of fabric separating them. 

“Make me,” he challenges curling his tongue around her earlobe as he rolls it into his mouth. 

The challenge is met by a sharp jerk of her hips as Rey rears back against Ben’s hands before kissing him again, “You talk too fucking much,” she bites out against his lips, adding in a “cocky Alpha,” for good measure. 

Ben refuses to be baited, not with her so close, not with the possibility that this might be more than a frantic make-out session, “Sweet little Omega,” he purrs and the noise that slips from Rey is the most beautiful thing he’s ever heard. It’s a mix between a whimper and a moan and Ben would give anything to hear her do it again. 

Pulling back her hands steal away from his face toying with the hem of her shirt, arms crossed over her body before she peels the garment away. There's a moment of hesitation, a faltering in her movements that's subtle but there before her shirt is up and over her head tugging at her three buns pitifully before Ben can protest. “I fucking hate you,” she mutters half-heartedly, almost sad this time. 

“I know.” He knows she’s lying now, telling herself that to make herself feel better about wanting this. Let her. He can see the truth for what it is. Not a schoolboy's wet dream or a hope leftover from a drunken mistake. No, they're both sober and very aware of themselves. And, you don't scent someone you hate.

His lips descend on her neck again as Rey starts to paw at his shirt in earnest this time. Apparently they're going to play a game of tit for tat and Ben was currently winning the tit portion. Rey huffs in frustration when he doesn’t pull back but his lips trail down along her neck until they find the juncture between her shoulder and neck. The smell hear is the strongest yet, sweet and heady and so very rich. He licks a long swipe across the gland and hums contentedly, “You taste…”

“Shut up.” she hisses again and he hears himself growl. His patience is wearing thin and she’s pushing him to his limits. This stupid little bra thing she’s wearing is less a bra and more a skimpy tank top but it’s soft and lacy and pretty. Oh so fucking _pretty_. Ben can feel her nipples pebbled through it as his hand slides over her ribcage and up along her chest. He doesn’t use his fingers but lets his palm massage against them. His hands look so big pressed against the swell of her breast, pale skin against tanned flesh as his fingers curl beneath the fabric. Rey grinds down against him again, lighter this time as he tugs the material away and she sucks in sharply. The room is warm but her skin is warmer and when he ducks in to lap at her nipple he’s reminded just how hot they are.

He lets his tongue swirl around it before pulling gently with his lips. Rey squirms against him as though trying to get away but he holds her in place this time. If she tells him to let her go he will in an instant but for now, he’s content to bathe her beautiful little breast with his tongue. Tugging the rest of the fabric down Ben pinches the other nipple between his fingers, pulling back to blow softly against the shiny nub now coated in his saliva. He can feel her shudder against him as he works at its twin careful to show them equal attention. 

“I need more,” she gasps and Ben isn’t prepared to hear that. He stalls a moment, the flat of his tongue against her nipple as the pad of a thumb flicks the other. He wants to ask her to elaborate but there’s nothing remotely sexy about that. 

Soon she’s sliding away from him, slipping off his lap until she’s on her knees on the floor. Never in a million years would he have expected such a thing was possible;e. If anyone would have told him he’d have Rey Niima, tits out, lips kiss swollen (from kissing him no less) on her knees in front of him he’d tell them to fuck off. Yet here she is, fingers curling beneath the waistband of his now ruined shorts. She gives an easy tug before turning her attention on the button with a deft pop, her fingers tugging at the zipper. Once his shorts are open, some of the pressure taken off his aching dick Rey goes back to the tugging. A gentle pulling meant to encourage. It’s not long before she’s fed up and huffing wiggling the bands down over his hips. 

“If you asked nicely.” Ben simpers.

Earning him a swift, “Fuck off and help me, Ben.” Which prompts him to raise his hips just a little if for no other reason then to see how far she’s about to take this. 

With every inch forward he expects her to stumble back, pull away, tell him she thinks he’s an asshole. Instead, she shimmies the material of his shorts and boxer briefs down until his cock bounces free pointing in a smooth arc towards his belly. 

For just a moment Rey stares, eyes wide in what might be abject horror. Ben isn't entirely sure like she's never seen a penis up close before “Of course you’d be big.” she grumbles half-heartedly before reaching out and running her finger along its underside. She traces the veins experimentally as she gives another tug and frees Ben’s aching balls from beneath the tight band of his boxer briefs. With a soft hum, she sets to work. Her touch is light, almost shy as she slides her fingers along the length of him. He sits back and watches her, his lip pinned between his teeth as her fingers slide and explore first along the shaft and then up over the engorged flesh of his glans. It's sinfully sweet the way she watches and moves. 

When she finally takes him in hand, small fingers fisting him tightly he marvels at how determined she looks. Working for her hand in a slow and easy motion she pulls his foreskin down over his shaft, watching the way his stomach contracts as she does so. It’s torturously slow and it takes everything in him not to buck into her fist but she’s watching him with such reverence it makes his mouth go dry. Rey licks her lips again, nerves probably or maybe something else, Ben hopes it’s something else as she gives his cock another lazy stroke. Dark eyes follow her fist as she slides his foreskin back up allowing it to swallow the head of his cock until she pulls it back down again leaning in a little closer now.

In the dim light of the room, he can see the glisten of precum that leaks out in a dewy wet trail only to be swallowed up by her hand. If she’s bothered by it, it doesn't show, instead she lowers her mouth, pink tongue peeking out between plump lips before she gives him an experimental lick. 

With a breathy moan, he wills himself still, leaning back against his hands as he watches her. She seems so shy as she draws him into her mouth, wriggling her tongue against his cockhead as her hand maintains its steady rhythm. Her mouth is warm and wet as she gags just a little, drooling around him as her hand continues to move. She squeezes a little, then releases pushing further down until he feels the back of her molars bumping against him. She's experimenting he realizes with some satisfaction, finding a pace and a depth that she likes, as though Ben is a mere afterthought in this sexual exploration. Her head bobs, the room filled with the slick sounds of her mouth. Faster and then slower until she's concentrated solely on the swollen crown, watching his face as she moves. 

“Rey…” he doesn’t want her to stop, he really doesn’t, especially when her hands dip down, fingers delicately stroking around the swollen flesh of his growing knot. _Fuck_. He’s never had someone else stroke it so lovingly. Most girls are afraid of it, they don’t like putting their mouthes anywhere near his cock, one because he’s 'too big', two because they’re afraid he’d knot their mouth. He doesn’t blame them really, it’s not outside the realm of possibility and he’s heard horror stories from the older guys on the team. Dislocated jaws and hospital visits are not the way one wants to end an evening of sexy activity. 

When she pulls her mouth away, her lips are wet and sloppy as she licks at the corner of her mouth. “I’ve never seen a knot this close.” Her voice lacks it’s usual bite as she strokes around the bulbous flesh at the base of his cock with care.

“Rey…” he warns again, his body vibrating, he’s too sensitive for her to do that. His cock twitches as she leans closer, nuzzling her nose along the side of his knot before giving it a kittenish lick. Just the tip sweeping up and down slowly causing Ben to groan out, his head falling back. Rey grows braver and he's afraid it might kill him. A broad thick swipe of her tongue sweeps around in a quarter circle before she places soft open-mouthed kisses along his shaft. 

“You’re going to make me cum doing that.” he whimpers just as she grabs a hold of the base of him and _squeezes_ stemming his building orgasm back to a bubbling simmer. 

“No,” she orders, and he’s not sure what’s happening because he can’t look at her now. He can’t because this can’t be real, this isn’t real. He’s laying in his bed in the middle of a rut having delusions again because there is no way that Rey Niima is holding his cock telling him he’s _not going to come_. 

“No,” she says again, giving one last slowly pump of her fist before he hears her stand. She’s shifting some, kicking off her shoes as she struggles with the laces of her converse. He knows without looking she’s wearing one purple one and one teal one because she and Kaydel traded one day at lunch. He wishes he didn’t know that about her. He wishes that he was able to ignore her presence like every other girl in their stupid high school but with her… no, it’s not possible.

There’s a rustle of fabric and then the soft twuff of clothing hitting the floor. This time Ben looks and thank god he does because there she, her body perfectly tanned, bare from the waist down save for her ankle socks with her belly piercing and tattoo on full display. It’s a half-moon he realizes, the dark outline of one that sits just below where her pants would fall. He wants to touch it, to feel if the skin is different there then the rest of her body where it’s accepted the ink. He needs to touch her again, watching her as she stands her perky little tits poking out above the lace Ben has carelessly stretched out. Fuck. His tongue feels thick as he swallows around it, his eyes roving over her body as slow as he can, careful not to miss an inch of exposed flesh. 

He’s always known she was strong, she plays pick up and flag football with the boys. She can run laps around Poe and even Armitage has a hard time keeping up with her. Her thighs are thick, runners legs, her hips rounded tucked into a trim waist and flat stomach that peeks out beneath the white lace of her top. She hides herself from others wearing pants that are a little baggier and short shorts often with leggings on underneath. Why, he’ll never be able to wrap his head around because she’s fucking perfect. Even with that stupid three bunned look that now makes him want to rub his cock all over her. 

Never in his life has Ben Solo ever had such depraved thoughts about another human being. His mother would kill him if she ever knew. Men, Alpha men, in particular, must hold themselves up to a higher calibre of human being because like it or not, society is going to do it anyway. He’s always been careful, respectful if not a little aggressive but never towards women. 

Towards women, he’s tried to be more casual and uncaring because all it takes is one accusation and your life becomes nothing more than a never-ending barrage of blockers and sterilizers. And that’s if you’re lucky. There are places, terrifying places that they shove feral Alphas for the protection of society. 

Ben shakes that thought from his head. He can’t think of that now, he’s always been respectful with Rey if not a little combative. Just because he thinks about cumming all over her mating glad so that he can rub it into that red swollen notch of flesh, doesn’t mean he’s _going_ to. Or bite her neck just shy of that gland until she’s whimpering beneath him while he fucks her from behind. What he wouldn’t give to paint her skin with his spend and then watch her lick him clean. To fuck her with her legs wrapped over his shoulders, her pelvis angled just so so when he pounds into her he hits that spot the one he knows women have. The one that drives them crazy. He’s never done it before, found that spot but fuck he’d like to try with her. 

Her breathing is heavy as she steps in front of him, “Rey what-“ he starts but her index finger presses against his lips and the rest of the question is lost. 

“I don’t understand,” she says softly, “Why do you smell so good? Why can’t I stay away from you?”

Ben chuckles as he offers a soft, “Biology?” 

Rey, however, doesn’t seem to find him funny. She never does so it’s no real surprise but this is different than her usually scornful scowl. There’s a heat in her eyes that makes his mouth water as her scent spikes around him sweet and pure Omega. Her cunt bare, legs sticky with slick. Ben imagines what it would be like to bury himself between them and feast until she’s weak. She wouldn’t like that though. Or… she might but he’s not sure what game they’re playing here. He has a pretty good idea but the rules have yet to be discussed. 

“Take off your shirt,” she orders, hands fidgeting at her sides as their knees bump together. When he doesn’t comply she groans, “Fuck you’re such a dick, take off your shirt.” 

There’s a part of him that would do anything if it made her happy. That Alpha hindbrain working in overdrive to please this potential mate. Keep her happy, keep her safe, make her take his knot. When she groans in frustration he finally complies, tossing his shirt somewhere into the darkness.  


He’s never had these thoughts before, these needs to please and _protect_. Never wanted to give over to his biology so bad.

When she straddles him again he can feel the heat from her cunt as it radiates between her legs. Taking his cock in hand she positions herself over it and for a second Ben panics, not sure if he's ready. He wants to tell her to stop, to keep going, to ask her if it's _safe_ but instead of sinking down on him, she slides him between her legs so that she can rub herself along his shaft. The change in angle and forced position causes his cock to bounce against her while she begins to slowly slide her hips, rocking them ever so carefully. She’s wet, so deliciously wet as she reaches between her legs. He can’t quite see what she’s doing but he figure’s her fingers are working her clit, using him as some means to achieve a blissful release. Ben watches her face as she movies, her cheeks pink, lips plump, mouth parted just so. For just a moment he thinks he might be ok if this is all this was. Rey just using him to get off, he'd willingly be a plaything for her if it meant he got to watch as she came undone against him. To feel her pussy gush and flutter, coating him in her slick. He would save the memory of it and jerk off to it later

But, oh how delightfully wrong he is _._

Her hips open a little further as she spreads herself over his length completely enveloping him in a warm coating of wet slick. She moves with mind-numbing slowness, his cock head hitching at her entrance. He must hit her clit in the process because she sucks in a breath through her teeth and closes her eyes as she works her hips in short little circles. _His Omega is happy, his Omega is pleased with him_ , his hindbrain whimpers as Rey works herself rutting against him 

“Alpha,” she whimpers and the cadence in her voice breaks something inside him. The little thing that had been tethering him to the good respectful boy his mother raised. “Alpha…” she whines again before his name follows, a soft, “ _Ben_.” that flutters passed her lips.

He’s going to have her, if not tonight then by the end of the summer, he will know what her cunt feels like wrapped… oh… oh, wait…

Rey’s hips have stopped moving and she’s lifting herself up higher onto her knees. The sudden change in angle allows the head of Ben’s cock to dip into her opening. It’s a shock, it’s everything and suddenly Ben starts to panic again because this... this is it, “Rey…” he groans, his hands on her hips to still her progression, “Rey…” he says again and she whimpers trying to sink just a little. “Shhh, sweet girl, shhhh,” he remembers having _‘the_ _ta_ _lk’_ with his mother. She had wanted to make sure he was being safe, being cautious, using protection. All things covered in high school sex ed and any health class he’d been forced to take since Junior High. When Leia had finished with the basics she then launched into how to properly care for an Omega partner. To Ben’s displeasure, the conversation covered everything from foreplay and appropriate use of one's tongue and fingers to things an Omega partner might _need,_ encouragement and comfort - particularly if that partner was in heat. It was one of the most mortifying experiences of Ben’s life to date and yet now… incredibly helpful.

Kneading his fingers into her hips in small careful circles Ben leans forward to nuzzle his nose against Rey’s jaw. She leans into the touch, affectionately as he places small kisses along the smooth skin of her neck, “Such a good girl, such a sweet girl.” Words Rey would normally hate but now, now they’re making her preen, “If this is something you want we… I have condoms in my nightstand.” An Alpha’s duty to provide protection.

Her fingers lose themselves in his hair, stroking and pulling thick strands back away from his face. It feels wondrously sweet and incredibly foreign, “Are you clean?” she all but whispers.

Ben in his dazed stupor doesn’t quite grasp what she’s asking, lost in the way her little fingers work and move against his scalp. With a bite of frustration, Rey grumbles, “Fuck. Ben. Are you _clean_?” 

Oh right, “Yes, I haven’t… without I mean. Yes. I’m clean.” 

“Me too.”

Her hips start moving again, or are trying to at the very least, pushing against his hold, “What about…” 

There’s a groan of frustration as Rey pulls Ben’s hair harshly so that they’re now looking eye to eye, “Do you want to fuck me or not?”

“You have no idea but I just need to know that we’re… you _know_ …” he swallows almost bashfully, “ _safe_.” He's not sure who would kill him faster if he managed to get Rey pregnant, his Uncle Luke, his mother, or Rey herself. 

A flush flutters across Rey’s cheeks illuminated by the soft light through Ben’s partially open window. She seems to understand now as she nods, “Skywalker got me the implant.” 

Oh, his fastidious uncle… 

Lessening his grip on Rey’s hips allows her to sink down down on top of him just a little further, enough that he can feel the sweet heat of resistance while Rey sucks in a sharp breath. There's a soft whimper that sounds more pain then pleasure and Ben's mind trips over all the steps he's forgotten. He’s no pro at this but he knows damn well this would be easier if he’d at least stretched her out a little first. Maybe made her cum before he entered her but he’s not the one who’s in control here. She is. 

“Fuck. Ben… _Alpha_.” she grits out, her knees slipping against the sheets so she’s forced to take him a little further. Ben’s arms are around her in an instant holding her steady.

“Shhhh,” he soothes, his fingertips tracing the small bumps of her vertebrae as he nuzzles his face against her neck, “Sweet little Omega, so wet, so tight. You’re doing so good.” he encourages losing his hand in her hair, fingers digging deep into the loose strands of the bottom bun. “Just relax, that’s it.” 

He expects her to tell him to fuck off again, maybe tell him to stop being condescending. Instead, she nuzzles him back. Instead, she rocks her hips wiggling to accommodate the intrusion. “I’m going to help ok?” he offers.

“No, no, no, no,” she whimpers in return, “Alpha… please _I can_.” 

“Shhh no no,” he smiles against her cheek as he peppers her face with kisses. “You’re doing so well, so very well, I’m just going to help a little.” The words sound awkward as he says them, things he's never had to or wanted to say when he was with Baz or Paige. He's never been particularly vocal during sex before but there's this tingling in his belly that urges him to praise her. 

With a soft nod of acceptance Ben quickly slips his hand between them until he finds the swollen nub of her clit. His fingers are clumsy as the move testing his index finger before deciding on his thumb instead. She whispers and gasps, his name on her hips as she starts to shift and undulate her hips “That’s it… that’s it…” he purrs as his thumb traces lazy circles before applying just a little more pressure. His lips close over the glad on her neck as his mind races with needs and wants and desperate thoughts. He’s trying to be a good Alpha, he’s trying so hard to take his time but all he wants to do is roll her onto her back and fuck her into the sheets. 

The taste of her arousal explodes in his mouth as he nips at the irritated flesh only to soothe it with a broad swipe of his tongue. Rey gasps, Ben’s hand cradling her head as she leans into the touch. He can feel the walls of her channel opening for him as she slides down the rest of the way. There’s just the slightest bit of resistance now and the only thing left for her to take is the area where his knot is beginning to swell. 

“Fuck Rey,” he moans into her neck, “How are you this tight?”

“Virgin,” she offers as she raises up onto her knees a little before sliding back down in one gloriously slow stroke.

His Alpha purrs at the idea of being her first, “So… so no one else…” 

“No one smelled right.” she offers, "even before I presented everything was sort of dull and bland and then there was you.” She whines a little as she shifts against him as though trying in vain to take the last inch in. “Alpha.” she whimpers, “I need it. Please. I need all of you.”

The last thing he wants is to hurt her and forcing her down could do just that. He wants it to be good for her, special if that’s not too cliched. More than just a hate fuck or… whatever this is because truthfully Ben has no idea. Is arguing Rey’s idea of intense foreplay?

He could get behind that if it meant making up like this. Maybe she’d let him eat her out. His cock pulses at the thought and Rey gasps and wiggles crooning Ben’s name again. Her thighs squeeze against him as she works her hips with a little bounce, testing the movement. She feels like a dream and he tells her so. She likes it he thinks or maybe she just likes the way he’s filling her. “Not enough,” she whimpers and he knows it’s not, she’s teetering on the edge of being stuffed full of him. “Please, please,” she moans her thighs working to raise and lower, fucking herself on him without thought.

Lost in the heat of her, he can feel her walls dragging, squeezing pulling him in deeper. “Sweet girl,” her murmurs nuzzling his nose against her forehead, “Beautiful girl,” His hands knead at her hips as she rocks, each move forward met with a gentle pressure before she slips over it and… oh… _god_ … he’s in. All of him buried deep within her tight cunt, "God you're fucking perfect."

"You're so... big" She gasps, her head thrown back, neck exposed to him. And if that isn't a stroke to his ego he's not sure what is. He can’t help it, he leans forward and licks along the column of flesh sucking on the skin beneath her chin. She preens under the attention as she mumbles, something that sounds like, ‘ _not fair_ ’. He’s unsure what might be ‘not fair’ but it doesn’t matter because this was what he was made for.

She railroaded him, robbed him of his senses, turned his world upside down but here, now lost in the warmth of her he Ben thinks it might be ok. 

“Is this ok?” He wonders aloud, his nose rubbing along her chin, soft kisses along her throat. A throat he wants to bite and mark just to show the world that she’s his.  


Her breathing falls in soft puffs, her shoulders shuddering, eyelids fluttering open to look at him now, “Ben,” when she says his name this time it’s like she’s speaking to his heart directly. 

“I’m - Can I move?” she nods quickly but her back is still rigid, she’s holding onto something, he can feel it he just doesn’t quite know what it is. His hands run down over her back, along her thighs, up her sides. It’s soft and slow and dangerous as his thumb trails along her spine sliding over her gland. The one he knows he’s not supposed to touch. Her shudder is soft, her insides fluttering around him as her eyes close, her mouth parts in a pretty little o. She likes it, but it’s not for him. He has no right to be anywhere near it. Ben is playing with fire and he knows it. 

Instead, his hands slide down cupping her ass, encouraging her to rock, to _move_ because he needs to feel more of it, the slick glide of her around him. She has one arm wrapped around his shoulders now, the other braced against his chest as she starts to bounce, slow at first, a crooked rhythm that they find together when his hips start pumping to meet hers. 

Every slap of skin, every time he bottoms out she keens, soft mewls of, “ _Alpha please_ ,” dropping from her lips like honey. It does something to him to hear her say it. No, not just say it, to _moan_ it. It makes his balls tighten with anticipation.

“Nnggh— Rey,” Ben moans as she starts grinding herself against him, it pushes him deeper, tighter, tearing through his mind as she all but uses him for her pleasure. All he can do in return is buck softly against her. Her head falls to his shoulder, her breath hot on his neck, “So — You smell so good.” 

Her nose nuzzles against the glad on his neck, “Yeah?” she says it almost like an afterthought, moaning as she mouths at his flesh, “You smell like,” her voice arks in a high pitched moan as he angles his hips hoping to find that soft spongy place buried inside her, “—Fu-uck — like coffee, the good — the good stuff,” she hiccups a moan crying out a shrill, “right there,” in his ear as she continues, “rich co—oooofffe beans and c-caramel and cold like ice—fresh — Be-en!” He nips at her neck as she pants in his ear. 

Her flesh beneath his teeth is sweet, his tongue laving at the small indents he leaves behind. “can you cum for me?” he asks, begs, _pleads_. She’s so wet, wetter then before if it’s possible but tighter too. It’s almost too much, almost. “Wanna feel you cum my sweet girl- fuck- look at you taking me so well." He fells her cunt squeeze and flutter the more that he talks. His praise pushing her further towards the edge. She likes it he realizes with a grin, likes to hear him tell her how good she is, "My sweet little Omega, your cunt was made for me. It's mine isn't it Rey."

She moans out an answer that barely sounds like a word and fuck it sounds so sweet.   


"Tell me Rey, tell me it's mine." It's pushing it sure but his Alpha needs to hear her say it even if it's garble fueled by hormones, he needs it just this once.

"Yours," she pants with a bounce, "Yours Ben, all yours." 

Ben. Ben, Ben, Ben. Not Solo. Not Alpha, but Ben. He tucks that little bit of information away folded up in the sweet memory of her panting as he leans in and  licks at her neck, nipping again this time at the glad behind her ear. The skin here is softer, more pliable. Their scents mixing together on his tongue. His knot swells and she whines, “No, not yet Alpha,” she’s not ready for this to be over, her movements frantic as she chases after her release. 

“Shhh…shhhh,” Ben soothes, “I’ve got you. God, you’re beautiful.” It’s hard to find space between them, her body pressed so tight, too tight against him as she moves. With a growl frustration, he shifts beneath her and she’s there right there. He can feel how close she is, her tight warmth baring down on him quickly. 

“Yes—yes—yes,” she chants, “Alpha like that - fuck Ben - Please.” he rolls his hips again and her arms are around his neck, clawing down his back. The soft lace of her top rubs against his chest, her nails clawing at his back so sharp and sweet and tearing. She’s leaving marks he knows she is but he can’t find it in him to care because she’s so close now he can taste it in the air. 

“Are you gonna cum for me?” Her answer is a soft wine and a nod of her head, “nnngh—good,” Ben gasps, “Wanna feel you make a mess all over me.”

“Will you knot me?” 

His heart stops in his chest, he hadn’t thought about not being able to knot her. It was… she had asked, hadn’t she? But it was rude to assume… whatever the answer was he needed to know soon because he was dangerously close to taking the option away from her, “C-can I?” adding for good measure, "It means I'll cum inside you."

Rey’s head slides against his, a nod, a _yes,_ a whispered, "I want that," and his heart explodes because there’s no room left inside her. He ruts roughly up against her, her nails biting, her voice loud in his ear and it’s there, the tipping point. A shudder that starts deep pulling him, working him hard as it flutters and squeezes down his length holding him inside. Rey cries out, a moan, a whimper ending in a silent plea, her head thrown back gasping for air. The pleasure of it is intense, his hips rolling slowly until its too hard to pull out anymore and he’s being pulled under with her. It’s rush of sensations, his balls tight, his cock pulsing as he leans forward and bites her neck. It’s not a nibble or a nip either it’s teeth and suction and broken skin as the taste of her floods his mouth all sweet and warm and coppery. Rey whimpers in kind, shuddering through her orgasm as Ben pulls back, half a laugh half a growl his cum still pumping into her.

“Ben,” she whispers rubbing her cheek against his temple, running her fingers lightly down his neck. 

He’s painting her insides, his knot holding it all in place as she pants against him. Ben struggles to find his breath as the reality of what just happened comes crashing down around him. Rey locked on top of him still mewling like a contented kitten. Her hair has come out of two of the three elastics leaving most of it down around her shoulders. It’s pretty like this, a halo of chestnut that dances across her shoulders as she moves. Ben allows himself a moment to toy with the strands, brushing them back across her shoulder. 

He’s come harder then he ever has in his life and every time she moves, it’s like sweet torture, “Rey…” he urges with a laugh as she wiggles again, her cunt squeezing his knot, “You need… I’m going to lay back ok?” 

She gives him a sleepy nod as he falls back against his mattress, the shift in position tugs just so, another spurt of his spend pouring into her. He marvels at the way they both shudder before she curls herself up on his chest like a cat, her fingers toying along the underside of his pec. She’s sweet when she’s quiet and all he needed to do was make her cum. Fantastic, knowledge saved for later because this needs to happen again. 

“How long does this last?” she asks sleepily kissing his sternum as she nuzzles her nose against his chest. 

“Why do you have somewhere else to be?” 

“Fuck you, Solo,” Ahhhh there’s his girl. Waking up after being shoved aside for whatever this was, “Luke’s going to be worried that all.” 

Right, although she’s been emancipated Rey still treats Skywalker like a father figure. She follows the loose rules he’s put in place in order to be provided with a bed, a roof and three square meals. Really it’s not the worst deal in the world. Even if she has to deal with his Uncle Luke. 

His phone is on his night table, hers likely in her pants pocket. A hand on her back to brace her Ben reaches up and over his head, fingers scrambling for the edge of his night table. One swipe and he catches the edge, close but not quite. Pushing up on his toes Ben feels his knot shift inside her, pushing him deeper, stirring up the mess he’s made. He groans because fuck that feels good, her sweet pussy milking a little more out of him. How is it even possible he has any cum left to give? 

His fingers catch the edge of his phone case and he’s managed to get it in hand. “Want to call him or should I just text him?”

“I should call… “ she hesitates, looking up at Ben, her eyes like dark marble in the moonlight. She seems to think a moment, “I’ve never had a guardian actually care about where I am… what…”

“Tell him your phone died, that I got drunk and you took me home and you're crashing here cause it’s late.”

“Sounds like you’ve done this before.” Rey muses.

“Not this,” Ben says giving another soft bump of his hips as though to make his point, “But I’ve made up a good number of excuses in my day, yes.”

Rey accepts the phone without question after Ben unlocks the screen. The phone call is quick, his uncles voice a low muffled sound on the other end. Rey doesn’t say much, just a bare outline of her excuse while Luke asks if Ben is ok. Like he actually cares, but Ben stays quiet, his fingers tracing the dimples of Rey’s lower back while she speaks. 

“How long do I have to be stuck to you?” Rey asks again after some time. Ben simply shrugs, his eyes closed as his hands explore and map her body. She doesn’t stop him though which is encouraging even though she mumbles to herself, “Still fucking hate you,”

“Ok princess,” He quips with a yawn, “Whatever you say.”

It isn't long before they fall victims of their release. Lazy, content and utterly blissed out on the warmth of her body Ben closes his eyes and listens to the soft thudding of her heart. He can feel it against his chest, a steady thump that falls in time with his own. Her breathing is slow and even, her lips pressing soft kisses against his skin as she curls further into him, her fingers lost in his hair. It's nice, peaceful even laying like this, locked together so deeply. Every now and then Ben flexes his hips, pumping himself into her, his cock still leaking fluid in a way that makes her gasp and mewl. A sound he's found he could easily get drunk off. 

That's the only explanation for how he misses it. The sound of the car door slamming, the sound of voices and the front door as his parents argue in hushed tones. Because if he had heard it he'd have been prepared. He might have tried to close his door because it's wide open, the light from the hallway pouring in as Rey lie on top of him, his knot locked deep within her, both of their thighs sticky with a mixture of slick and cum. If he'd heard it he might have woken her up, maybe grabbed a blanket or _something_ because...  


“Jesus fucking Christ, Ben? R-Rey?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, Rey is a virgin no more. I don't think Ben has a headache anymore either... but he might after what's about to go down. Muahahaha  
> So... let me know whatcha think! 
> 
> Come say Hi on [The Twitter!](https://twitter.com/rebelscumreylo)


	8. There's a piece of you that's here with me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Ok Princess,” Han finally speaks up, his glass sliding against the wood of the mantel as he shifts away, hand falling to Leia’s shoulder, “I’m sure our boy is a very tender lover.”
> 
> “Jesus Dad!”
> 
> “Well, what am I suppose to say? Look, for all, we know it was the first time for both of them.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I found this FAR too amusing to write. I hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

On the list of most embarrassing experiences ever to happen in Ben Solo’s existence, his parents walking in to find him balls deep in his Uncles charge probably makes the top of the list. 

Ok… no, it definitely makes the top of the list.

Unfortunately, it’s one big moment made up of a number of smaller moments. Like his father commenting on the size of his balls and his mother turning on the light and then screaming about him not being smart enough to use a condom. Because of course, his mother would hone in on the area where his body was joined with Reys and notice he was most definitely lacking that tiny ribbing of latex that should be situated just outside Rey’s body. 

“I fucking hate you,” He hears Rey mutter as his mother storms off leaving Han standing in the doorway gawking. 

“Dad.” Ben snaps, “Fucking go, stop staring for christ's sake.”

His father grumbles something about Ben not deserving such a cute girlfriend making Rey flush. They hadn’t bothered to detangle while his parents were still present to save what was left of their modesty. Rey looks equal parts ashamed and mortified while Ben just wants to go to sleep. Of course, this would happen to him. 

Of _fucking_ course. 

“I’m sorry,” he tries but Rey only glares at him. Is it really his fault? Hadn’t she come on to him? 

Fuck, Luke was going to have Ben’s balls if he finds out about this. 

“I want the two of you in the living room in five minutes,” Ben hears his mother call loudly while his father chuckles to himself in the kitchen fiddling around with the fridge door. 

_ Fuck _

Ben watches as Rey starts picking up her clothing taking a moment to carefully inspect them carefully. With the light on now, it’s pretty obvious that her shorts are unwearable, damp and stained with slick they only further her embarrassment. She pulls on her t-shirt and groans at the damp crotch as Ben busies himself finding a pair of clean pyjama pants and grabbing his hoodie from the floor. When he’s dressed and Rey is standing there still barely covered Ben can't help but smirk to himself. Her hair is a tangled mess, her lips still plump, her skin flushed. He could be a prick, it would be easy but instead, he digs out a pair of old work out shorts and tosses them in her direction. 

She looks at them cautiously, turning the material over in her hands a moment, brow arched in question, “Is it worse than marching out there in those?” Ben asks, nodding to the floor where her soiled shorts now lay. 

“You’re like twice my size,” she starts.

“Yeah yeah, I’m a big Alpha meathead,” he jokes but Rey flinches involuntarily, “There’s a tie in the waist, put them on and tie them tight. She’ll come after us if we don’t come out.” 

There's something oddly calming about watching her put his clothes on, like a piece of him still gets to touch her. Her scent is everywhere making his skin itch as he realizes morosely even if they hadn’t walked in on them, it would be painfully obvious what had happened here the minute his parents got home. Only then maybe they wouldn’t have known it was Rey. Maybe they would have thought Ben had taken home some other Omega female and spent the evening buried in her instead. 

Rey is the first through his doorway, his hand on her back as they move through the house silently. It’s a walk of shame but Ben is prepared to take full responsibility for this whole fiasco because that’s what a responsible alpha would do. Rey doesn’t fight the touch, she doesn’t shirk at his presence at all as they find themselves in the living room, the only place left to sit the two-seater love seat.

Han looks amused, a glass of whiskey in hand that he nurses carefully while Leia bristles in the old wing back chair that she had reupholstered herself. They look like a unified front like this. _You're welcome Han for diverting Leia’s wrath away from whatever stupid thing you managed to do_ , Ben thinks. 

Rey fiddles with the hem of her _(his)_ shorts as she stares off at the floor, her posture completely rigid, shoulders set and knees together.Ben on the other hand lounges back, crossing his legs casually as he drapes his arm over the back of the couch. He’s been here before. Not _here_ here but a place very similar. A provoked a fight in hockey, he got caught smoking his father's marijuana, he came home drunk and maybe threw up in the bathtub. Was what they did really so bad when compared to the long list of Ben Solo screw-ups that have led them to this living room in the past?

“Please tell me you’re on some form of birth control,” Leia says in a rush.  
  
Rey’s head jerks up, her eyes wide as she nods fervently. She’s scared but not of Leia, of… _something_ Ben just can’t tell what. He’s uniquely intuned to Rey’s every movement now, keenly aware of how her heart quickens and her scent shifts. 

“Y-yes Ma’am,” she says softly, “I got the implant days after moving in with Luke. With your brother.”

Han chuckles loudly, “Well thank Christ for that!” 

“Han!”

“What? There’s no drug store open for miles right now, it’s the middle of the night did you want to drag your ass all over hell and creation to get her that pill thing… what do they call it the Secret Plan?” Han takes another drink of his whiskey, licking his lips as he presses them against his teeth staring Ben down. 

“Plan B you old fool and no because unfortunately, as much as I would hate to be made a grandmother right now it’s not entirely _my_ choice.” 

“Like hell, it isn’t!” Han huffs setting his glass down on the mantle with a harsh clink. 

“Don’t be such an asshole Han, it’s her body, it’s her choice,” Leia speaks out of the corner of her mouth before turning a kind smile on Rey, “Do you feel comfortable with your choice sweetheart?” 

Ben wants to push his parents away, tell them to back off leave her alone. The need to speak up, to defend her rises within his throat swallowed up by the reality that this… this feeling the one that makes him preen at the mention of children is biology. He doesn’t want to be a father at seventeen. He wants to go away to school and live but this small thread of something hot and sticky purrs that he also wants to knot this little omega again until her belly is full of his cum and she’s round and pregnant with his child.

_Fuck. That._

Lurching forward Ben slides closer to Rey, their thighs bump but she ignores his presence in lieu of focusing on his mother. “I - uhh I mean…” she starts, “I made the choice if that's what you mean?”

What exactly were the all implying? 

“Just let her go, mom, lecture me, I’m the fuck up here. I’m the one who didn’t want to use a condom, I convinced her to come back home with me.” He can feel Rey start, turning to look at him wide-eyed, her jaw working furiously trying to catch up but he’s said it, it’s done. It might not be the truth but he can handle the third degree. She should be allowed to go home or the spare room or where ever it is she wants to go. They can lecture him, they can give him the gears about being safe and responsible because he’s heard it all before and this… this is mortifying for her. He might not have been able to protect her from them getting caught but he's damn well going to save her the horror of sitting through this conversation. He can do that much at least.

“It — it was consensual,” Rey squeaks, his precious girl trying to soothe the situation, “I… I wanted to.” Even softer now, a hand on his knee that surprises him and a soft squeeze before it’s gone. A thank you, an _I’m sorry_ , something to let him know she appreciates what it is he is doing. 

“Rey sweetheart, I hope you know how serious this was, implants aren't always effective, they don’t protect against diseases.”

“Jesus mom, you think I have the clap or something?”

Han chokes on a laugh turning away to hide his smirk. _Thanks, dad_ , the support is always appreciated.

“Well, I don’t know how many girls… women… _people_ you’ve slept with Benjamin, it’s not as though you talk to me about these things.” Leia narrows her eyes in challenge. 

“Fuck—“

“—Language Benji,” his mother chides.

“I’m not going to sit down and tell you how many times I’ve had sex. That’s weird mom. Do you think I’m some kind of man whore or something?”

“Ben.. no. I just… I expected more from you,” it’s the same old song and dance, expected more, hoped you would have thought it through a little better, didn’t think that… always the same. Disappointment, exasperation but always lined with ‘ _we love you, Ben, we just want what's best for you_ ’ 

“I was talking to Shara…” Leia starts.

And, Ben knows exactly where that particular through is going, “Do not bring up Poe Dameron right now, mother.”

“Well Shara is having quite a time with him, apparently he’s quite the little Cassanova.”

“He’s a man whore.” 

His mother scowls at him while Han nurses his empty glass, far too amused with the conversation to interject. _Thanks again, Dad_ , “Be that as it may, that doesn’t take away from the seriousness of what happened here tonight.” 

“Mom,” He tries again but her hand is up and he knows he’s done talking. 

Leia is in full teacher mode now, her lips drawn in a straight line as she prepares herself for what they all (aside from maybe Rey) know is coming next. “Apparently I need to remind you that the conception rate increases exponentially when an omega has sex with an alpha. Benji, I know you know this but Rey are you aware of how dangerous it is for you to sleep with my son? I love him, I do but he's an alpha sweetheart and I need you to understand what that means. For _both_ of you.” 

Oh… Rey knows he’s an alpha and Ben is starting to resent his mother for continuing to bring up that fact so casually. Things were just getting good, really good if what just transpired between them was any indication but Ben can already feel Rey starting to shut down as she directly beside him. Her shoulders are curled in, her gaze locked on her feet, something dark and sad rolling off of her scent, a mix of him and her and… _regret._

Ben’s chest aches at the thought. His mother can’t even let him have this, “—certain things, they can’t help it,” he hears his mother continue, his eyes focusing on the family picture that’s sitting on the mantle by his father's elbow. “I hope he was… tender?” 

“Ok Princess,” Han finally speaks up, his glass sliding against the wood of the mantel as he shifts away, hand falling to Leia’s shoulder, “I’m sure our boy is a very tender lover.” 

“Jesus Dad!”  
  
“Well, what am I suppose to say? Look, for all, we know it was the first time for both of them.” There’s a storm brewing behind his father's eyes, one that tells Ben to keep his mouth shut, “Kids are going to have sex Leia, it happens.”

“They aren’t a pair of beta kids Han, they need to know—“  
  
“Oh… I think they know.” 

“Really? She hasn’t gone to the bathroom yet, so I think it’s safe to say they don’t.” Leia snaps leaving Han looking flabbergasted. 

“What in heavens does that have to do with anything?”

“UTI’s Han!”  
  
“Is that why you’re always running out of the room afterwards?” Han laughs giving a bit of a shrug. _Geeze Dad,_ Ben thinks, _even I knew that._ Then again it was a common complaint amongst some of the females that hung around with the hockey team. Puck bunnies as it were.

“—Not to mention tearing if not prepared properly. Foreplay is very important Benjamin—“

“—Please don’t—”

“You can’t just stick your penis in and expect the slick to be enough. You need to spend time opening the vagina. It helps if you can make her orgasm once before—“

“Mom—“ Ben wines.

“—Lord knows a knot is quite a thing to take. You shouldn’t be knotting girls at seventeen Ben, you could tear her—“

“Mom!”

“Don’t you Mom me Benji. If you’re not mature enough to be sitting here _talking_ about having sex with your girlfriend then you’re not mature enough to be _having_ sex with your girlfriend.” 

Girlfriend. Girlfriend. Girlfriend. Girlfriend. 

Ben’s mind swallows the word like a cool glass of lemonade while Rey visibly stiffens. Her hands tremble, fingers itching at her kneecaps as she worries her lips together. They hadn’t even had a chance to talk about what this meant and now his mother is trying to put labels on it. 

“I assume you’re dating…” Leia presses while Rey’s soft meep draws everyone's attention. 

Han at least looks mildly apologetic while Leia looks a little like she did when Ben accidentally set fire to his parent's pergola. He may or may not have been drinking with Hux and Poe but those two cowardly assholes had taken off. It’s one of the major reasons they don’t party at Ben’s place anymore.

No one wants to get caught drunk by their principal.

“Rey why don’t you hop off to bed, the spare room has been made up you can stay there for the night.” Ben can feel his face fall as Rey nods and moves to stand. Her heat fading from his side, his mind scrambles clinging to what's left of her scent as she excuses herself, “What did you think I was going to let her stay in your bed?” He would have liked it… but then again maybe Rey wouldn’t.

The next hour passes much as he expected it to. His mother's agitation ramped up to new levels, Didn’t he know what could happen? What would he have done if he’d triggered her heat? She was so newly presented, her body hadn’t had time to acclimate properly to its omega status. It’s all biology and safety and never once do they ask the question of how he feels about her. How he feels about what they’d done. 

Alpha’s don’t get the luxury of feeling something about sex more than a release. They’re built to take and protect and to procreate. Instead, she asks what he would do if Rey got pregnant, had he thought of that? What if he’d hurt her? _what if, what if, what if_. He’s so tired of hearing the words that when two am rolls around he’s about ready to lose his mind. Was this her first time? Was he careful? Did he treat her with respect? 

He was about to ask his mother if she wanted a play by play when Han’s hand squeezes Leia’s shoulder, “Let the boy get some sleep Leia, that’s enough for tonight,” he urges, nodding to the hallway over Ben’s shoulder in dismissal.

Ben bolts nearly tripping on his own feet as he pushes inside his room and closes the door with a hollow click. _Fuck_ , he just needs to sleep, to pretend this didn’t happen but how will he ever be able to do that? His room is a potent mess of her, her slick soaked shorts still on his floor daring him to pick them up. 

He just needs to hold them against his face, to take in the scent of her one last time. 

The door clicks again and suddenly the scent is stronger, it’s crawling down his walls and over his tongue as he turns around to face her. She looks small, demure like this, her face downturned as she peers up at him through dark lashes, “Why did you do that?” she demands, her words a harsh whisper as she presses herself against his door. 

He could tell her the truth, that would be easy but no… he won’t because she won’t want to hear that, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Ben lies and it’s one that tastes like granules of sand on his tongue, “Go get some sleep Rey,” but she reaches out and she’s holding his hand. Her fingers are small as they lace through his, tugging him only to find him unyielding. Instead, she pulls herself closer until her arms are wrapped around his torso, her head resting against his chest.

“I fucking hate you,” she sobs softly, her nose nuzzling against him through his thick sweater.

It hurts a little, the words without meaning that she hurtles carelessly in his direction. Like he doesn’t have feelings about this because why would he? “I know,” he tells her softly, arms wrapping around her to hold her one last time. She fits so perfectly against him, her head tucking beneath his chin.

“I don’t want to sleep over there,” she whimpers and his heart swells with the need to give her whatever she wants. Could they get in much more trouble? Would she get in trouble?  
  
They could sleep with their clothes on. If his parents caught them they couldn’t be accused of doing anything else. They would know, it would be obvious. He knows he should tell her no, he should deny her but he can’t. He doesn’t know if he’ll ever be able to deny her anything ever again. 

Reluctantly he pulls away, his hand cupping her neck, tossing her hair over her shoulder as he does. The marks he’s left on her are bright and obvious with her hair pulled away, “Might need to wear your hair down for a while,” he tells her softly leaning in to kiss her on the nose and then the marks left by his teeth. “I’m so sorry I did that, Does it hurt?” His fingers skirt the imprints marring her flesh, angry and glowing red but she shudders, eyes fluttering closed as she shakes her head. It rouses a pride in him that verges on dangerous the way she inhales softly under his touch. “You should go.” he urges once more but this time he’s met with the not so gentle insistence of a koala like hug. 

He expects to hear that she hates him but she doesn’t say it. It’s not there, it’s lost and in its place is a need to feel, to be comforted, “Please,” she whispers, her fists balled tightly against the dark material of his sweater and it’s then he made the decision. 

Fuck it. 

“Come on then,” they stumble to his bed as he peels the covers back and encourages her to slip inside. She looks so tiny there amidst the dark sheets and the pillows. Four of them because he doesn’t like it when they get too warm. 

Once the lights are off and Ben is settled into bed he feels her snake her arms around his, her cheek pressed against his shoulder. He can’t chance holding her as much as he wants to because if he holds her he cannot promise he’ll let her go. He knows that now about himself, about his feelings towards this little omega. 

Sleep comes fast and easy, the world soft around the edges when he finally wakes up. She’s gone, not that he’s overly surprised but his bed still smells like her, the sheets still warm. It hasn't been long. Curling himself around her pillow he inhales deeply allowing her scent to wash over him, comforting and sweet as it pulls him under a blanket of exhaustion. It’s another hour or two, maybe three before he wakes up for the day. The smell of coffee and bacon pulling at his consciousness.

In the kitchen, his mother sits sipping a cup of tea while his father mans the stove, a spatula in hand as he pushes around a pile of bacon in a pan. No one says anything else about what happened. There’s no mention of Rey at all. Ben eats his breakfast and then goes for a run. Ill-advised but he’s still feeling a little pent up. 

His friends talk about the fight he had with Rey at Dameron's place like it’s the stuff of legends. He hadn’t been goaded by her, everyone was shocked. Everyone except Hux who eyes him with a wary sort of grin before clapping Ben on the shoulder and telling him he's a fucking idiot.

Their days soon return their regular sort of rhythm. Ben picks her up for work every morning around seven and they go for the coffee before settling in with the students. It’s different now despite everything being exactly the same. She smiles and she laughs and she still tells him he’s a jerk. They sit and eat their lunch together but now she’s a little closer then she was before. Her body seems warmer her scent filled with _him_. 

Things don’t actually come to a head until one rainy Saturday afternoon. Ben turns down an afternoon of Call of Duty and finds himself at the rink instead. The door is locked but the light is on in Luke’s office. It’s the middle of the summer so he’s likely going over the hockey roster for the next season combing over the list of possible referees and coaches to see where he needs people to fill in. There’s no real reason to think Rey might be around, only there’s something there in the cool air, a warm little tendril of something that winds along his spine until it settles in his brain with a word on his lips. A name. A plea. 

Ever since… well… _since_. Ben has found he’s so much more sensitive to her presence. Her scent is etched into his skin like a brand that he thought he might never be rid of. Not that he wants to, but as the days pass since they were… _together_. Her scent is slowly starting to fade making his inner alpha wild. It’s hard to be around her without wanting to touch her so he’s been actively avoiding the places he knows she’s going to be. 

Hiding like a child because he would give just about anything to have her rub her wrist along his neck again. There’s a whole lot of other things he’d like to do too but he’d settle for just being able to scent himself on her. 

The rink air is cool and burns in his ling as he pulls on a pair of joggers over his shorts and then starts to lace up his skates. He took his stick today and a puck to practice his shots with. He manages a few quick laps passing the puck to no one before swooping back in and picking it up. It’s easy this way, playing through moves in his head, scenarios and opportunities. The _what if’s_ he usually avoids because he'd rather act on instinct as he bangs his puck against the sideboards again and again. The noise echoes off the high ceilings and into the open space like a cry in a graveyard. Hallow and haunting. 

Ben pushes and pushes until he’s sweating and then he pushes some more until cool air bites at his skin.

That's when he sees her. 

Prowling around the stands like a cat, watching him as he moves and ducks, his feet swooping beneath him in a way he knows is graceful. He’s a big guy with arms that are too long, shoulders that are too broad. He’s never been what one would consider graceful. Not until he puts his skates on his feet. On his skates, he’s a god. On his skates, he can fly. 

She likes to watch he’s discovered. Her eyes following him as he loops around and gives her a smirk. She does the same thing when he’s teaching the kids how to dribble or shoot. He’s never been the brightest academically. He makes do with passing grades. He’s not artistic or musically inclined but Ben is damn good at sports. Hockey in particular but he’s played a little of everything which makes him a proficient teacher when it comes to a group of under tens.

Rey likes to pretend she doesn’t watch, that her eyes don’t follow his every move but he’s become uniquely aware of her attention by now. He wonders if she feels it too. This pull, this thing that's wound itself around them and is holding them together because he doesn’t know if he could escape her now if he tried. 

A huff of annoyance tells Ben he might not be so far off the mark. She’s not as hostile at least, the edge now gone from her posture, her shoulders more relaxed as he slows and glides towards her.  
Rey hasn’t been avoiding him he reminds himself bleakly, it’s him who’s been putting the space between them. He can see her eyes go wide, her nostrils flaring as he stops short, spraying the baseboards with ice shavings. It’s a cocky move but she makes him feel cocky. Oh so cocky, he’d love to show her just how cocky…

Eyebrows raise, her cheeks pink with something akin to embarrassment. _Whoops_. Clearly he hadn’t been as subtle as he’d thought or maybe she was just more attuned to his sudden shifts in mood. His desire. 

“Let me guess,” He calls over the naked silence, “You hate me?”

Rey smirks turning her head to hide the rising blush as she shoves her hands into her pockets. He can’t help the way his eyes follow along the length of her long legs as she hops down one level of seats. She’s walking along them like a balance beam in her converse, plain black today which Ben finds rouses a slight disappointment within him. There’s a little blue patch on the side he notices, watching her feet for far too long. Wondering to himself why black and not the multi-coloured monstrosities she’s usually wearing. The patch doesn’t look like much at first until Ben slows to a near stop. It's a little blue phone box stitched on so that it sits slightly crooked. The letters T.A.R.D.I.S stitched across it tugging at something that feels vaguely familiar. 

A pop culture reference of some kind no doubt, Ben is horrible at those. He can tell you the name of most hockey players on many of the major NHL teams but has never been able to tell the difference between Justin Bieber and Ed Sheeran. 

“Something like that,” Rey hums, kicking out her feet as she walks, her legs stiff but easy. 

If this were one of those movies his mother loves so much Ben would say something witty that would make her laugh. Not the loud rakish one that he loves but something that's soft and shy like a secret kept solely for him. Alas, Ben has never been one blessed with the ability to use words to his advantage. He’s awkward and rough around the edges. 

Like a chestnut, the ones he and his friends use to throw at one another when they were kids.

A prickly outer shell with a hard and smooth interior. 

“What are you doing here?” he asks instead. He wants to make a joke about her stalking him but doesn’t think it would land well. She’s too skittish still, uneasy around him in a way that seems strange. It's contradictory and yet so incredibly Rey. Like they’re two strangers dancing around one another too afraid to make the first move. Only the first move has already been made. Second and third move too. Honestly, he’s not sure there are many moves left to make and perhaps that’s the problem. 

No that’s definitely the problem because there’s still that word hanging between them. The one is mother threw out so casually and why wouldn’t she?   
  
Leia had lectured him for twenty minutes on how casual sex was destroying society. He couldn’t tell her that he wanted Rey to be his girlfriend, admitting it was painful enough. Instead, he let his mother think he’d just wanted to fuck her which, fair but he wanted so much more than that too.

This new strangeness between them is worse than the fighting. At least then there was a way to connect. Funny how we miss the things that were familiar. 

Rey merely shrugs pulling her hands from her pockets as she launches into a cartwheel. She’s standing on the bench as she leans forward into the motion, palms pressing into the wood as she swings her legs up and over. It’s a graceful ark that seems dangerous like she might slip if she weren’t careful. A thought which tumbles through his head sending him into a state of panic. He can feel his cheeks heat up as he skates slowly alongside her. His hands reflexively gripping his hockey stick giving him something to focus on as he watches her move. 

“What are you doing here?” He tries again.

Another shrug as she hops from one foot to the next before jumping down and leaning against the railing where the plexiglass separates the stands from the ice. he can see the way her eyes light up, smell her scent spiking as she picks up on his because yes the sight of her brings him immeasurable joy. He can’t hide that from her, not anymore. She has all the power here, his little omega with her hair mostly down but for the small bun that pulls her bangs off of her face. She has to wear it like this he realizes as she shifts, not up the way she usually does. It’s been down all week much to his chagrin because her neck is still marked by his teeth. A warning to anyone who looks at her that she has been promised to someone if only for a short period of time. 

“You wanna give me your varsity jacket Solo?” she teases, her word like sweet honey. “Let all the boys know you’ve claimed yourself a girl, an omega at that,” he hates the way she says it like it’s such a mockable thing.

He doesn’t point out that she still has his sweater, still wears it quite frequently too. The one that sports his sir name and hockey number on the back. How is that any different than a jacket in the end?

Did she want the jacket too, he’d give her the jacket in a heartbeat. He hated wearing the damn thing anyway. Plus, the idea of her walking around the school in his oversized clothing, his name worn against her skin makes his inner alpha preen. 

“Or you are you just gonna bite me again like the alpha brute that you are?” She arches her neck as she says it sweeping her hair off her neck to show the area of skin that’s still marred by his teeth. Fuck he'd bitten her hard and he’d do anything to do that again, to feel her shudder as his teeth punctured her flesh. 

There’s something dangerous in her words though, a dark promise, a soft hope, “Why do I feel like you’d prefer the latter option?”

Her laugh comes in the form of a scoff, “Maybe,” Because there’s the truth of it. This game that they've been playing is no longer one-sided. 

“Tell me, Rey,” he says as they move. She’s climbing over benches to get around the gate that the team uses to enter the arena. Skipping down easily over and onto the other side, “Have your friends noticed?”

Her breath hitches as she says, “Noticed what?” 

“The way you smell. You haven't noticed your scents changed? That little bit of something else, that reminder that I’ve been there, _inside you_?” Her chest swells, cheeks pink. Even Ben feels a little flustered, not entirely sure where his words are coming from. He’s acting like an alpha and deserves to be slapped, still, he pushes “You’ve noticed it haven't you?” no response, “Because I smell like you too. It’s driving me crazy the way your scent is all over me. It gets me so hard, reminds me of what your sweet little pussy felt like stretched over my knot. You took it so well.”

He stops short and glides forward until his skates bump against the walls. His hockey stick thunks against the wood as Ben places one hand against the plexiglass. His skin is so hot it leaves a small print of moisture around the edges as Rey tries very hard not to look at him, “Do you think about it, Rey?” Ben hears himself growl, “Do you think about what it felt like to be so full of me you could hardly breathe? Do you fuck yourself with those tiny little fingers while you think about it, knowing that they’ll never fill you the way I can?” 

Rey’s shoulders shudder, her breath falling heavy as she turns to face him head-on. Her eyes are wide and wild like she’s ready to attack or maybe…

One-step and then another and she’s standing just there on the other side of the plexiglass, her pupils dilated as her hand raises to press against the space where Ben’s hand sits, “ _Fuck. You. Solo_.” she seethes before flipping her hand over and pressing her middle finger against the glass. The black nail polish of her middle finger is chipped around the edges like she’s been chewing on her cuticles. 

“Thought so,” Ben laughs.

“Ben? You bothering Rey?” Luke’s voice breaks their standoff, low and loud as he leans over the railing around the upper box. Of course, he would think Ben was the problem. Ben’s always the problem, “Rey I need you to get the canteen cleaned out. We’ve got tryouts starting soon. The place will be getting busy again.”

Rey’s lip quivers as she forces out a smile tossing Luke a happy wave.

_ Faker. _

“No problem Luke, I was just heading there when I saw Ben and wanted to say Hi.” She fiddles with her hair covering up the red marks decorating her skin.

Ben chuckles as he pushes back off the boards skating away with the wave of his hand, “Have fun little one,” he calls. And, maybe it’s a little more condescending then he intended but he’s starting to live for the way her scent spikes when she gets annoyed with him. Like she can’t help the way it makes her wet. Because it _does_ , he knows it does and he knows now that they’re just living on borrowed time before she needs him again. 

At least… that’s what he hopes because her scent is fading and Ben is starting to find that he needs her just a little bit too. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Safe Sex Leia is based off my mother who was a Health and Sex Ed teacher because... that was fun growing up.  
> Let me know what you think my lovelies!
> 
> Come say Hi on [The Twitter!](https://twitter.com/rebelscumreylo)


	9. Sometimes this all feels like a dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Have either of you two… you know.” Right, he technically has to say it in order to get them to answer the question, “Hooked up with an omega?”
> 
> “Have you?” Is Hux’s knee jerk reaction snickering to himself. A subdued "No,” is Hux's final answer.
> 
> “Naw man,” Poe offers as he leans forward in his chair, “Honestly, the thought of it scares the shit out of me.”
> 
> Armitage scoffs, “Poe the Hoe Dameron afraid to fuck an Omega? Now I’ve heard everything.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now with more smut!  
> Poor Ben has no idea what he's doing haha

“Is something going on between you and Niima?” Dameron asks as they sit around the fire pit in his back yard. It’s just Ben, Poe and Hux now, they hadn’t bothered to invite any of the other players on the team. Alpha bullshit Rey would call it but this is their senior year and there are only six seniors on the team, all of whom _were_ invited.

Milo had gone home early, he’d gotten busted sneaking into his parent's liquor cabinet earlier in the month and as a result, they were keeping him on a strict curfew. Gabriel couldn't make it because he was pussy whipped, Tallie made him promise tonight would be date night (the fourth date night this week). While Markus was still out of town visiting family. Though Poe said he heard from his parents that Markus had gotten caught trying to mate his underaged omega girlfriend and her parents had lost their shit. No one knew whether or not Markus would be coming back for his final year or not so there was still the question of whether or not they’d need to replace him on the team. Apparently the girl's parents made quite an issue of the whole thing but Markus' parents were keeping the scandal wrapped up pretty tight. There was even talk of sending Markus to one of those all Alpha schools in the states but no one really knew what was happening. 

Small towns and speculation.

It’s been over a week since Ben's last seen her, Rey that is. The longest he’s gone since the summer started, which is strange. She’d texted him to say she’d be out sick that week from summer camp and he’d been left to deal with the younger counsellors and their endless drama all on his own. Her scent has long since faded which makes him unreasonably irritated but the memory of her mouth on his lips, on his neck… on his cock still brings him delirious joy. No one has said anything yet, then again why would they? They still snipe and bitch at each other and Rey had been particularly vocal about the way Ben supposedly cheated when they all got together for a game of pick up a few days after they... well... _you know._

The sun had been so hot and her skin had been so perfectly tanned and when she laughed it made his balls ache. She smelled different then and it had bothered him at first. The way he couldn’t pick up on that sweet vanilla pancakes scent because it was mixed with something else… something darker. _Him_ , he finally realized when he watched her, head thrown back as she guzzled the last of her Gatorade. _His_ Gatorade he realized with some morbid amusement, flipping him off as she tossed him the now empty bottle.

Why was it only coming up now?

“I don’t know what you mean.” Ben huffs into his beer before taking a long swig, his attention cast on the dancing flames. The last person he wanted to admit his feelings for Rey to was Poe, mother fucking Dameron. 

“Oh,” Poe replies flippantly, seemingly unaffected by Ben's sudden dour mood change, “I just wanted to make sure cause I was going to ask her to catch a movie sometime, see if she fancied trying an alpha’s knot now that she’s presented and all.”

_What did he just say?_

Poe has always been a little crude but he’s never been so downright disrespectful before. Not even towards Rey who has been known to put him in his place. The idea of Poe asking Rey out would be hilarious if it wasn’t for the fact that she was… _Mine_ Ben’s mind bellows as anger, white and hot pours through his veins, “You _what?_ ” he hears himself yell. When had he gotten to his feet?

If he’s upset, Poe doesn’t show it, instead, he looks mildly mollified as he and Hux share a knowing glance and tip their beers in Ben’s direction. “Sure you don’t buddy,” Hux says with a snide smile.

Fuck them, fuck them both. 

“You’re hopeless man,” Poe adds but nothing else is said on the subject. 

They spend the evening talking about hockey and the upcoming season. How coach Antilles was talking about bringing on Ben’s Uncle Luke to help out with this season. Their last had been so strong he wanted to build off of that momentum. The idea of Luke calling the shots makes Ben’s stomach churn but he nods and throws out the odd answer or two when it sounds like it’s expected.

Neither of his friends are overly surprised to find Ben mute on the subject of Luke fucking Skywalker. The topic giving him free rein to delve into his mind and let his thoughts become consumed by Rey and what the hell has been going on this past week. She hadn’t been at the rink, she hadn’t been by with Luke for their weekly family dinner. Tuesday night Hux had reported that Rosie had been talking to her and from the sounds of it, it was something to do with ‘ _omega troubles_ ’ whatever that meant. Ben’s hindbrain growled wondering if his omega might be in heat, telling him he should go to her, he could help her. But, in the end, all that came from that thought was a painful erection, an hour-long jerk off session and an angry popped knot. Just thinking about her, the way her lips turn into a scowl when she looks at him, contradicted by the way her scent shifts when she's around him makes Ben’s stomach feel ten shades of funny. Or how flustered she gets when he calls her _Little Omega_ yet never really thinks to correct him. It’s enough to make him pop a knot in front of his alpha friends like some pup who’s only just presented. Not that Ben considers himself to be learned in the intricacies of the female mind but he’s always been able to exercise a modicum of restraint. It’s only around matters involving Rey he starts to become a little unhinged. 

Poe laughs at something and throws a beer cozy at Hux who pokes at the fire with a long stick he’s been turning in the coals. A redhead with an affinity for playing with fire, how on the nose. Still. Ben has to wonder if either of his friends has experienced anything like this before.

Poe? Definitely not, he’s in an out of love more times then Ben changes socks in the run of a week. His proclivity for having no real preference in gender making him a bit of a revolving door when it came to his partners. How he never managed to piss anyone off was a miracle really. Poe was the kind of guy who would sleep with your sister and when you got mad about it ask if you wanted a turn and be completely and utterly serious about it too. It was even rumoured he’d managed to hook up with a few of the younger teachers aids who managed to get short term positions at Alderaa High. 

Hux, on the other hand, had been dating Rey’s little friend Rose Tico for a little while now. Rose was another omega and the sister of Paige whom Ben had been sleeping with the summer before. Rose also had a soft sort of hate on for Ben for exactly that reason. Paige, like Baz, was a beta and while the sex had been fine, pleasant even. At the time he might even have said it was awesome, it was nothing compared to the earth-shattering experience of knotting Rey. He couldn't do that with a beta, it was one of those things his mother had drilled into him. Beta anatomy couldn't handle an alpha's knot so Ben had always been paranoid and on the brink of pulling out for fear he might hurt them.

Could that be all it was? The reason being with Rey was so different from his other sexual experiences? No more than biology plain and simple.

“Hey,” he coughs, clearing his throat causing his friends to halt in their conversation. They’re talking about stick tape which… ok, he might have a thing or two to say on the matter but he can’t right now because this… this is consuming him.

“Have either of you two… you know.” Right, he technically has to _say_ it in order to get them to answer the question, “Hooked up with an omega?” 

“ _Have you?_ ” Is Hux’s knee jerk reaction snickering to himself as he quirks a brow. 

_Fuck you you ginger bastard_ Ben thinks as Poe swats Armie in the shoulder loud and hard. A subdued "No,” is Hux's final answer. 

“Naw man,” Poe offers as he leans forward in his chair. He’s sitting with his knees spread wide, in a pair of old sports shorts and cheap shower sandals, “Honestly, the thought of it scares the shit out of me.”

Armitage scoffs, “Poe the Hoe Dameron afraid to fuck an Omega? Now I’ve heard everything.” 

But Ben gets it. He honestly hadn’t given it much thought before, why would he? Sex was never something he was super concerned about. He’d lost his virginity fairly early on. The most cliched Alpha shit ever really and it had been nice. Sure, he liked doing it but people made life complicated and messy. Ben was complicated and messy enough on his own. He and Baz had dated for a bit but that was more a matter of two people being pushed together because their friends thought they should be. Bazine was… intense. She either wanted everything or nothing at all. Dating her was like a mental exercise in whiplash and honestly getting his dick wet wasn’t worth that.  She had certain needs and Ben… Ben wasn’t always comfortable with being called Daddy or putting his hands around her throat until she came. 

If Rey had asked though… Ben’s pretty sure he would do it in a heartbeat.

“—intense, like shit. There’s the whole scenting thing too and man I’ve heard from some of the older guys on the team that it’s like… you get these crazy urges to _bite_. I mean, I'm down for a little teeth action don't get me wrong but what happens if you bite someone’s mating glad by mistake man? nu-uh… no thanks,” Ben only catches the tail end of Poe’s rationale but it's obvious Poe has very strong feelings on the matter. 

“Have you gone all the way with Rose?” Poe asks Hux, piquing Ben’s interest because Rose, like Rey, is also an Omega. 

“I already said no,” Hux snaps, which only makes Poe press harder. 

"No? You've been together a few months now..."

"So?" Ben almost feels sorry for Armitage who's getting impossibly red as Poe grins like a cat.

“So?” Poe volleys back casually downing the rest of his beer before he tosses the bottle into the blue box they’d hauled outside for their empties. 

“So, she and her friends have this pact or some shit.” Hux squirms clearly feeling the pressure from Dameron to elaborate. “It’s like some modified virginity pact.” he tries, “Rose and Jannah, Kaydel and Rey and a few others all swore they weren’t just going to jump in bed with a guy. They have these rules they put in place, it’s a big thing for them.” 

Well isn’t that interesting. Rey and her friends have some sort of sex pact encouraging them to wait until… what?

Ben chuckles, his thumb picking at the label on his empty beer bottle, “This a new development?” it must be because it was only two weeks ago he had Rey climbing on top of him like he was some sort of adult amusement park ride. 

“No,” Hux says primly, “I guess it Rey came up with the idea a few weeks before she presented. They’re taking it pretty seriously. It’s …” Hux air quotes, “ _A matter of self-respect_.” 

Interesting… 

“I call bullshit,” Poe has another beer in hand using his shirt to cover the top as he twists it off, “I know for a fact Jannah hooked up with Connors two weeks ago.’

“Yeah but Jannah and Conners have been seeing each other for a while, that’s the thing. They want to have sex but they have this waiting period.” Hux shrugs his shoulders draining his beer, “I don’t know, all I can say for certain is I’ll be god damn lucky if I don’t knot Rosie's poor face at this point.”

“So no sex… but they can do other stuff?” Ben wouldn’t put it passed Poe at this point to have his sights set on the whole crew of them. Prove a point as it were. He isn’t pushy with women, not that Ben has ever seen anyway. He just makes the idea of falling in love seem very, _very_ appealing. The only problem is Poe’s version of love has an expiration date shorter than a carton of milk. 

“I guess, I don’t know, ask them? All I can say is Rosie’s got me playing the long game.”

Poe whistles sharply throwing himself back into his chair. It creaks under his weight as he dangles his beer bottle between two fingers, eyes flickering over to Ben. 

He may be mouthy, he may be a bit of a whore but Poe is no idiot. He watches people, he observes things. It’s what makes him so good at getting people into bed. He leans into what makes them feel special. He cares in a way that seems almost perverse when taken into account how much ass Poe has gotten over the last year or so. So when he looks at Ben, dark eyes lit by firelight Ben knows he's been seen and seen in a way he doesn’t necessarily want to be.

“I still call bullshit,” of course he does, “Solo you’ve either fucked Niima or you want to. I can’t tell which.” 

Ben tries to offer his best grimace of indifference, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh… Oh no? You broke my fucking nose man, don’t think I forgot about that one.” 

“You healed.” He knows it’s not the point and really he only says it to piss Poe off. Dameron's nose has been left permanently crooked after the assault. 

Poe, unfortunately, is like a fucking bloodhound once he’s onto something, “Her heat sent you into rut man, I saw it. I also know what you take for blockers. That shit should kill your sense of smell altogether, I don't know how you manage honestly. And yet, her heat managed to push you that far,” he’s pointing in Ben’s direction, Armie’s eyes wide as he watches, “You two got into some big fight at my party a few weeks back and then she left just minutes after you did. She was wrecked too man,” Memories from that night flicker to life in Ben’s mind. Rey screaming in his face telling him he had no right, calling him an asshole. Rey upset he’d left, Rey, kissing him, scenting him, climbing onto his lap and rutting against him and then taking his knot so beautifully. Getting caught by his parents. 

Fuck.

“You nearly took my head off when I joked about asking her out too.” Poe continues, “I’m not the one you have to worry about because if you haven’t fucked her someone else has. Didn’t either of you notice the way her scent was all weird last week during pick up?”

"She's got marks on her too. Rose said she's got bruises on her neck and one helluva bite mark. Whoever she's fucking gave it to her good." Ben's inner alpha preens though he knows Hux doesn't necessarily mean it as a compliment. Maybe he had been a little overzealous but Rey didn't seem to mind it at the time. 

Ben tries for indifference but lands somewhere in the realm of agitation, “She can do what she wants, she fucking hates me.” Yes… play on that. Everyone can see it, the way she glares at him. How she singles him out when she’s ramping up for a fight. The way she is constantly flipping him off. He’s never met anyone who loves shooting people the middle finger the way Rey does. 

“Well…I can’t argue that. Though hate sex would be hot as fuck too” Poe laughs. Good, fucking good, “But why wonder about fucking omegas?” 

Hux is staring now, the firelight making him look pastier than usual. He seems to be mulling something over like he knows something he just isn’t sharing with the group. He might for all Ben knows, Rey and Rose are close but Rey would never want anyone to know about them, of that he’s one hundred percent certain. “Porn,” Ben finally tries as an answer.  


Poe laughs handing Hux another beer, the answer seems widely accepted and the evening goes on. Talk of hockey and speculations about Markus ramp up in conversation as Ben sits and stares at the firelight. He nods and gives his usual monosyllabic answers, has another beer or two before making his way home. 

The night is cool for being midway through the summer. Ben is happy he thought to bring his hoody with him, his hands jammed into the front pouch as he walks. He’s only bothered to pull on a pair of workout shorts and athletic sandals before he made his way down to Poe’s. There was no point in trying to look nice if it was just going to hang out with the boys sitting around talking about sports and girls. Which is exactly what happened. 

He’s rounding North street, ironically named as its found in the south side of town when he sees something moving up ahead. Scratch that it’s someone running, ducking out from under his neighbours lilac bushes. He can’t make out who it might be though, his eyes are a little fuzzy but whoever it is, is small and moving really fast and they’re coming right at him

Unsure what else to do Ben steps into the grass giving the mad sprinter some space. They’re looking around them, maybe they’re being followed? Maybe they did something horribly wrong. Whatever it is Ben wants no part of it. He slumps his shoulders trying to curl in on himself as the sound of feet slapping against the pavement grows louder and louder and then… then there’s a small warm body being hurtled against him. 

He doesn’t have time to react, his hands still jammed in the front pocket of his hoody. The scent hits him all at once nearly knocking him off his feet. It’s been a week and now she’s here in front of him, her chest rising harshly as she struggles to catch her breath. There’s something off about it though, something thicker and warmer. Something that feels a little more like sex. Like she’s had it or she needs it but there’s no other scent there but hers. 

“Asshole,” she grumbles, Oh good he was afraid she would forget, “Where the hell were you?”

“I’m sorry?” She hasn’t pulled back yet, her face buried into his chest, arms shoved into the space between his arms and his body. Yeah, her scent is off… too sweet but spiked with adrenaline, fear he realizes soberingly. She’s afraid of something or something has her spooked. 

“You weren’t home.” she accuses. It’s a Friday night in the middle of the summer, of course, he wasn’t home.

“Rey what’s going on? what time is it?”

“One in the morning,” she mumbles against his chest clawing closer pulling herself against him so tight it feels like she’s trying to merge their bodies into one. Her hair is a mess he realizes as she shivers against him, his hands coming out of his pocket to hold her. One hand at the back of her head as the other slides across her shoulders, “Where. Were. You?” she demands, her voice fractured but still muffled against his chest.

“Dameron’s. I had a beer or two,” _or six_ his mind provides, “With Poe and Hux, I was just walking home from there. Rey are you ok? What were you doing in the Marshall’s back yard?”

“Knocking on your window,” She admits softly. She was looking for him, she needed him.  Something is wrong, very wrong. Like he’s looking at a picture but only seeing half of the scene. It doesn’t make sense. The way she smells, her absence from his life the last week, the fact that she’s seeking him out now. Like whatever it is, she wants him to fix, to make it better. He hugs her a little tighter nuzzling the top of her head with his cheek. “I fucking hate you,” she sobs, a warm dampness blooming against his chest as she begins to cry. 

His mind screams for him to do something. She’s hurting, she’s scared, she needs, she needs, _she needs_. He has to fix this, he needs to do something to make it better. 

Leaning back he stoops to look down at her face. Her cheeks are wet, her lashes dark and lined with tears. She looks… smaller somehow. Hair matted against her face, nose and cheeks a soft pink, “Hey… hey… come on now.” He thinks she might say it again, tell him she hates him but instead she hiccups wetting her lips with the tip of her sweet pink little tongue. The hand on the back of her head cups her cheek, his thumb brushing away her tears before hooking against the corner of her mouth. She wets her lips again, her tongue bumping his thumb igniting a fire beneath his skin that threatens to burn him whole. Without a thought he swoops in, pressing a soft kiss against her mouth. Not the needy and intense kind they shared before but something sweet. A promise. 

“You want to come back to my place?” He nods, “I’ll sneak you in, my parents don’t need to know that you’re there.” 

She nods slowly, “We aren’t having sex.” she tells him hollowly which only makes him laugh. 

“That’s fine,” And it _is_ because it’s not what she needs. She needs safety and security and while Ben would give anything to feel her soft little body opening up for him he knows that’s not his place here tonight. 

They walk to his house Rey tucked under his arm. She’s not even wearing shoes he realizes solemnly, her legs nearly bare but for the flannel pyjama shorts she's wearing, barely noticeable beneath her oversized sweater. His, he realizes. It’s his school sweater with the knight's logo on the front and his name stitched into the arm. Not a varsity jacket but it makes his inner alpha puff to think of her surrounded in his scent. He must have left it at the rink and Luke had taken it home. That's two of his sweaters she now has managed to snag.

When he unlocks the door he ushers her inside, hiding her away in the mouth of the living room. She stays there as he makes his way through to the kitchen before bumbling down the hallway to where his parent's room is located. It's an unspoken rule, Ben is given a lot of freedoms under the one stipulation his mother be informed of his actions and locations at all times. It may sound imposing but really a phone call phone or a text to let her know where he’s going isn’t that difficult. He knocks lightly on his parent's door pushing it open a crack, “I’m home.” he tells them softly. His father barely stirs but his mother lifts her head and smiles. 

“Thanks, sweetheart,” she says sleepily, “Get some sleep ok?” Leia is asleep again before Ben can even get the door closed 

Good.

Hastily making his way back to Rey he stalls in the kitchen grabbing a glass of water and pilfering a cold slice of pizza from the fridge, “You want anything?” he whispers peeking at her from around the double fridge doors. She’s holding herself like she’s afraid she’ll fall apart and something inside him cracks just a little. 

Pizza forgotten, glass of water left on the counter he pulls her into him kissing her forehead, her cheek, her nose, her mouth before rubbing their noses together. He’s not really sure why, it’s a compulsion really, a need to show her he has her, that she’s safe with him. Downing the water quickly but leaving the pizza where it is he leads her down the hallway. Her finger hooks with his as they slip into the quiet of his bedroom, the door clicking shut behind them. Here in this space, Ben’s not entirely sure what he’s supposed to do with her. Hold her? Ask her what she needs? As an alpha, as someone who wants to be _her_ alpha, he feels like maybe he should know this already. Be able to anticipate what it is she requires. 

“You want to tell me what's going on?” he tries.

She’s just there, so close and yet light-years away. At first, she shakes her head and although it’s not ideal Ben accepts it. It’s a stretch for her to even be here right now. It’s against her nature or her moral code, or… _something_. It goes against something in her because she looks like she could bolt at any minute. 

“Tell me what you need Rey,” he says, softer this time and she flinches like he’s about to hit her, like she can’t get away from him fast enough. Her teeth worry her lower lip to the point that it looks like she might actually tear the skin. It’s hard to watch, hard to witness because he realizes he can’t stand to see her in pain like this. Yelling at him sure, he can handle that, he’s used to it but this… this is a new level of hell. 

She’s a vision in the moonlight, her eyes glittering when she finally looks up at him. He wants so desperately to kiss her again but knows he shouldn’t push his luck. “I hate,” she starts and he’s ready for it, the inevitable ‘ _you_ ’. The scorn and ridicule that will inevitably flow from her lips and the stupid thing is, he knows he’ll still want her. “Myself.” she says instead, “I hate that I’m trapped beneath this curse.” the one that draws her to him, “I hate that your smell makes me feel better. I hate that staying away from you is physically painful. My suppressants were all fucked up and it sent me into a pseudo heat. Luke didn’t know what to do, I had no idea and all I wanted was your stupid ass.” 

Ben isn’t entirely sure what he’s meant to do with this information. It makes him itchy, uneasy. The idea that she may have gone through a heat of any kind on her own makes him want to cover her in his scent and make it all better. He wasn’t there. She wanted him, needed him and he wasn’t there. How could he have been when he didn’t know?

All he wants to do is make her life better, to make her feel safe and loved. To show her she’s worth the stars but there’s this self-loathing and fear that radiates off her like a miasma. It’s bittersweet the way she fights it and a small part of him wants to tell her to just go then, fuck off, leave him be. He deserves someone who wants to want him. He’d rather be alone but then there’s this other part, this deeper part that needs to make her feel something other than the dark loneliness she’s shrouded herself in. He can do that for her, he might be the only one who can. 

“If I wasn’t an Alpha… would it be so bad to want me?” he finds himself asking, thank you liquid courage. He doesn’t want to know the answer, not really but he’s already started to torture himself so why not go all in? 

He can see the way the question startles her, the way she pauses to think, mulling over the idea calmly, “I…” here it comes, the knife to the heart, “I don’t know.” it’s simple and honest and honestly it’s not the worst answer she could offer him. 

“But you don’t want to be here,” _shut up Solo you idiot, why are you doing this?_

Instead of answering though she closes the space between them until they’re standing toe to toe. His sweater dwarfs her frame making her look like a large burnt marshmallow. He can see the way she’s got the sleeves stretched out over her fingertips like she’s wearing one of her father's shirts. Only Rey doesn’t have a father. Or a mother or anyone to keep her safe. She’d been taken from her uncle because he was a neglectful waste of space and placed with his Uncle who is admittedly doing an ok job. Luke always holds people at a distance though and Rey has no one to call her own. Is that what Ben represents to her? Is that why she can’t stay away?

She’s so close to him now her scent is making him dizzy, though that might also be the alcohol. Her arms move, hands sliding into his as she pulls the knuckles of his right hand across her cheek. They stick and slide against the wet skin before she drags his wrist across her neck. The effect is instant, the way everything sort of shifts at once. It’s an answer, the only answer, better than telling him yes she does want to be here because she’s purposefully mixing her scent with his. She’s marking him as hers.

His wrist tingles as it slides over the flesh of her neck. Her glad now swollen and irritated from the attention, raised and bumpy as it drags against his skin. She stops when he gasps and truthfully he’s grateful but her eyes are dark filled with need. 

“I had a nightmare,” she offers but gives him no more to go on. 

“Ok, well… do you want to crawl into bed?”

There’s a soft nod and she’s pulling his sweater up and over her head leaving her torso clad in a thin-strapped tank top and nothing more. She’s not wearing a bra he notices painfully watching the way the fabric at her middle shifts and slides up to reveal a smooth belly and her cute little tattoo. She throws the sweater into a pile of his dirty laundry and looks up at him through heavy lashes, her expression almost coquettish, waiting in silence.

He’s so lost on the vision of her he almost misses the expectant look in her eye. The one that flirts down to the hem of his sweater inviting him to join her in her state of sleep readiness. Without further hesitation, Ben hauls his sweater up and over his head getting stuck in the fabric as it snags on his ears. He struggles a moment, damn his big head, but Rey is giggling and soon her little fingers are working the material loosely around the neck, tugging gently around his ears in order to set him free. She flattens his staticky hair as Ben tosses the sweater into the pile and stands before her still moderately confused. 

Ben has never been one for pyjamas but he’s not entirely sure Rey would be ok with him stripping down to his underwear… only… _oh_. Her fingers warm and soft slip up under the thin fabric of his t-shirt and she’s pulling it up inch by inch. Her hands slide over the plains of his stomach and he fights the urge to flex because that would be an alpha thing to do and she likely wouldn’t appreciate it. Instead, he sucks in, slightly ticklish, her wandering hands shifting to slide up tripping over his nipples as he reaches up and over his head. The garment flutters to the floor leaving Ben bare from the waist up and completely at the mercy of his little omega girl. 

She traces the lower line of his pecs before running her fingers up over his sternum and then back down again. Her pace is lazy and smooth as her hands map his obliques before coming back to slide over the pale expanse of his abdominals hidden beneath the little bit of summer chub that he’s put on since he’s not at the rink every day. 

Most put weight on in the winter and lose in the summer but Ben has always been the opposite. He allows himself little indulgences like beer and fried foods in the summer because through the hockey season he treats his body like a temple. 

He sucks in a little, a soft reflex as Rey’s fingers trail down through the small stretch of hair that disappears into the band of his shorts. It’s pathetic really the way his body has decided to grow hair. Like he’s forever destined to look like a twelve-year-old with his clothes off. If a twelve-year-old was over six feet and able to manage a six-pack that is. She doesn’t seem to mind in the slightest. Watching her fingers as the skate across his flesh in curious patterns until her palms are pressing against his hips, the fingers of both hands slipping beneath the elastic band of his shorts. 

Oh, Ok. So _this_ is happening. His mind tells him quietly. Unable to move as she pushes the loose work-out shorts down over his hips until they pool around his ankles. It leaves him in no more than a pair of dark grey boxer briefs that are doing nothing to hide his very obvious predicament. He’s hard as a fucking rock, his cock arched up towards his belly button and off to the side just a little as her hands continue their exploration. 

No sex. She said no sex. No sex, none. None at all. No sir. 

His brain has picked up on that little piece of information but his body seems to have other ideas as to what is about to transpire. Even Rey doesn’t seem convinced as her fingers trail feather-light kisses along his length leaving Ben to stand stock still and let it happen. His hands twitch at his side burning with the need to reach out and touch her. He doesn’t need to fuck her he just needs to feel her skin under his palms. Maybe taste her flesh, nibble along her scent glands. Fuck he needs to do something but she’s rendered him completely still and all he can do is watch and feel because holy fuck everything is ratcheted up to one hundred and ten. 

He shudders as her fingers trace along his briefs where his cock head sits still sheathed within his foreskin. She has it grasped within her thumb and index finger and Ben can’t help the way he gasps. The alcohol and the scent of her make everything sort of distorted and yet disturbingly vibrant. He’s left stumbling for words as she works her fingers in a soft steady rhythm. Like she’s testing the waters, jerking him off just a little through his underwear until his foreskin slides back and there’s a wet spot there from where his cock has started leaking precum.

No sex. Nope. None. 

But’s she's sliding her palm along the length of him her fingers curling around to cup his balls and fuck it feels good. Her hand a lightweight pressed against his testicles as she kneads them curiously.  
The need to touch her is too strong, his resolve as thin as fishing line as he whimpers and presses himself just a little firmer into her hand. Rey smiles at this, her gaze flashing up to meet his and fuck if she isn’t the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. Her lip pinned between her teeth as she works her hand against him, firmer now and steady. 

_ No sex. No sex. No sex.  _

His mind goes to the sex pact she’s apparently made with her friends and he wants to ask her what that’s all about but he’s sure the minute he does this spell will be broken and everything will be lost. Instead, he reaches out and takes her by the wrist pulling her hand away from him with the resolve of a gladiator. His hindbrain screams at him, desperate for it to continue but Ben knows to continue on would only tempt fate. He’s only so strong and his will has been compromised by a pair of pretty eyes. 

The soft whine that escapes Rey might be the sweetest thing he’s ever heard. Scratch that, the soft purring in her chest as he kisses along the scent glad at the inside of her wrist. That’s it. That’s the one. His lips close overtop it in a soft open-mouthed kiss and she whimpers. His tongue darts out, lapping at the ambrosial decadence that is her scent and Ben is lost on her. His eyes close as he bathes her wrist in kittenish kisses until the beast that coils within his belly wakes up and demands more. 

With a startled yelp he draws her closer, one arm wrapped against her waist as the other winds their fingers together. His erection trapped between them which Ben grinds softly against her belly before ducking in close to her neck. Her scent here is strongest, so thick it feels like there's a coating covering the back of his tongue. Lips descend in a soft rain of kisses until she’s breathing heavily and Ben needs more. More of her touch, more of that sound, the one that rumbles in her chest as she curls against him. His teeth scrape over the scent gland beneath her ear and she gasps. 

Freeing her hand Ben cups her neck, his fingers tracing a soft line against her mating gland in a manner that one might consider far too intimate. Only she doesn’t stop him. She just leans into his shoulder, her mouth pressed against the flesh of his upper traps. Her little nose ruts against his neck as she snuggles and kisses and licks at his skin until her teeth find purchase and she’s _biting_ him. 

The feeling of her teeth sinking into his flesh goes straight to his groin and it’s the most delicious pain Ben has ever felt in his life. She hasn’t broken the skin he doesn’t think but if she had he doesn’t know that he would necessarily care. His head is drawn back and away from her space a soft laugh on his lips that punctuates his groan. He half expects her to pull back but she isn’t finished yet. Instead, she licks and sucks at the area pulling blood to the surface making sure that it bruises. She’s marking him he realizes in some hazy fashion and fuck if he doesn’t love the idea. 

Some primal urge gropes up along his spine hissing in his ear to push her down and claim her. It’s dark and it’s wild and it takes everything in him not to lean into it. He wants her, oh how he wants her but she’s still so skittish and she’s giving him so much. He’ll keep that dark part of him tied down if only to keep her safe from the primal part of his soul that yearns to dominate her. The piece that growls and pushes against social norms telling him to fuck her and knot her and fill her with his seed. 

His hand shakes as it slides down her body resting at the edge of her sleep shorts, “Please,” he hears himself say, his thumbs dipping beneath the material to give a soft tug. 

“I’m not wearing—“ she starts, her voice shaking as it does but the meaning hits its mark. She’s pressing her forehead into his shoulder, embarrassed or unsure he can’t quite tell but the idea of her bare under those flimsy little things has him reeling and desperate in ten million different ways. 

It’s hard to pull back but he nods and instead his hands cup her ass, round and peachy and so very very sweet. Rey kisses his chest as he nuzzles his cheek against the top of her head steadying himself against this new revelation. 

_No sex_. He reminds himself, trying to shove down and suffocate all these _urges_. He’s not an animal, he needs to stop acting like one starting with the way he's softly rutting against her belly. 

“I never said—“ She starts and Ben can’t help the breath he’s sucked in because he can taste it, the slight edge of permission. The air around them is thick with their need. He knows without question if he were to slip his hands between her legs his fingers would glide through a river of slick and it’s not helping him stay in control one little bit, “I never said,” she starts again, her voice just a little softer now, “that you had to stop.” 

With a shaky breath, Ben pulls back, his hands cup her face, her cheek, her neck, emphasizing how small she is or maybe how large he is. At the very least it highlights the gross disparity between their sizes, “Tell me what you want,” and his voice sounds too husky and deep to be his but his tongue is thick and his throat feels tight and the way she’s looking at him right now makes his cock twitch between them. 

“I don’t know,” she admits and while it’s frustrating Ben finds he can accept that. She’d said no sex but she never said no to other things. Right?

“Do you want to get into bed?” Her quick nod spurs him to action, peeling back the sheets.

Rey pushes on his stomach when she stands in front of him, “Lay on your back?” her head cocked to the side as she leans up and kisses him square on the lips. The angle makes it easier to push into the kiss, his lips sliding against hers while his hands cup her cheeks. 

They kiss and they kiss until her hands squeeze his wrists and she’s rubbing their noses together, “Take your underwear off and lay down, Ben.”

Quirking a brow he does as he’s told, his mind chanting, _no sex, no sex, no sex_ until its a loud roar in his brain and he’s so fucking confused. Still, he lays on his back, reaching out for his cock to give it a few easy strokes watching as Rey shimmies out of her sleep shorts and rips her tank top up and over her head. 

It’s a view he hadn’t been awarded last time. Her body completely bare before him as he lays on his back in only his socks softly stroking himself. Self-consciously she makes to cover herself up, arms sliding across her chest as she shifts from foot to foot. She’s shaved he notices dimly, not bare but neatly trimmed in a soft line of hair that sweeps down between her legs. Idly he wonders if that might have been for him, his inner alpha purring at the sight of her ready and waiting. 

“We’re not—“ she starts and he nods but she’s climbing on top of him and the hot slick heat of her is pressing against him. His cock throbs beneath it as her slick saturates his shaft and drips down over his balls. The fist glide is tentative and unsure, her arms caging him in, hips and sweet cunt trapping his cock between them pointed to his belly button.

“Fuu—uuuuk” Ben bites out, his hands groping her thighs, thumbs rubbing soft circles around the curve of her hip, “Rey you— you’re so—“

“Yeah,” she lets out a breathy groan, working herself back and forth against him. 

No sex, sure, ok. But this… this is good. He lets her move of her own volition using his body to achieve whatever end she so desires. Her pace quickens, his belly and groin now coated in her wetness. He’s going to smell like her for days, his parents will know something has happened but he can’t find it in him to care. 

Pressing down a little firmer her weight pulls at his foreskin and Ben hisses softly. It’s sweet agony and soon her fingers are there pressed between them working against the slick head of his cock. She rubs under the flared ridge before massaging the tip until Ben can’t help but buck up against her. 

“Can— can I touch you?” he asks softly, his hand moving between her legs the minute she nods. His thumb finds it’s way against her as she sets her own pace. Ben rubs up and along the outside of her clit. Careful, oh so careful not to actually touch it. Not yet. 

With his other hand, he takes her wrist, her fingers coated in a mix of precum and slick and brings her fingers up to his lips. His tongue winds itself around her tiny digits, his thumb slipping against her clit and Rey groans loud and greedy, “Shhhh” be shushes softly grinning as he tastes her, “Fuck you taste so go—od” his words stutter as she grinds down against him, “baby girl,” her fingers tweak his nipple hard, apparently that was the wrong thing to say, “Sweet girl,” he tries and she nods, eyes closed, lips parted as his the head of his cock slides against her clit making her keen, “sweetheart you’re going to make me cum,” 

Rey only nods, her cunt making a mess all over him, “I don’t want to until you do, are you close?” another nod, “what do you need to get there Rey?” there’s no verbal answer but a gentle application of pressure and her hips winding in small circles as she angles herself just so. She’s pinned his thumb between them making him pull his hand away begrudgingly until he realizes that she’s grinding her clit against the head of his dick. Fuck he’s not going to last long like this but that doesn’t matter because soon she’s falling against him singing her pleasure directly into his ear, her heat pulsing as she cums, and cums hard against him. There's a small gush of slick and her teeth bite down against his neck, higher this time just shy of his scent gland. An area that will be visibly obvious. Her tongue feels like warm velvet as it brushes against the spot over and over her body twitching in the aftershock of her orgasm. 

“That’s it sweetheart, cum for me, let go.” She’s half sobbing against him as he takes her hips in his hand, “I’m gonna— can I?” Rey only nods drunkenly as he works her against him pushing up against her heat as he holds her steady and firm until he’s following after her.

His orgasm hits like a punch to the gut, his balls tight as his cock pulses, emptying itself of it’s built up load. The groan that rips through him sounds almost feral as he pushes his head back into his pillows and arches against her. Rey’s newly slumped angle puts her in the unfortunate position to get her tits and belly covered in his spend but if she cares she doesn’t say. Instead, she continues to lick and nip at his neck. Tired and sated she mumbles something that ends in, “you”. It doesn’t sound like hate and there are too many other possibilities for him to catch himself up on. There’s one though that makes his heart jump but no… that’s not possible, he’s only setting himself up for disappointment hoping for that. 

Still, a deep part of him purrs at the idea that someday, maybe. Because honestly he can’t help but feel like he might be there himself or somewhere in the ballpark. A freefall into all that is Rey. 

They lie there together until their fluids grow cool and tacky between them but Rey doesn’t move. She only hugs a little closer, pressing her thighs against his hips as she curls into his body. Her fingers twirl through his hair in idle slow motions while his trace soft patterns against the round of her backside. Rey shudders as his fingers dip down passed the cleft of her ass and between her legs to collect the slick that’s pooling there. He knows he shouldn’t but there’s still this fire burning in his gut telling him he needs it. Needs more. 

Bringing his fingers to his lips he savers the taste of her this time, letting the musky sweetness linger on this tongue. It’s a shame really he hasn’t had the chance to delve between her legs and feast yet but he can’t help but think that it’s only a matter of time. Maybe next time she’ll permit him a little more freedom, more control. Once she’s comfortable he’ll push it, bury his face between her thighs and drink straight from the source until he’s drowning in her slick. 

Between them his cock stirs, a gentle throb that makes Rey giggle, sleepy and happy and safe. “I know I should move,” she mutters quietly making Ben’s heart do a panicked little leap, “But I don’t want to.” 

A ghost of a smile lingers on his lips quieting the alpha growling in protest at the idea of her leaving him, “Don’t then,” he mumbles before placing a lingering kiss against her temple. 

In the quiet of his room, he grabs for his sheets pulling them over their naked bodies. Rey sighs contentedly as Ben rubs slow circles along her low back while his other hand toys with the hair at the nape of her neck. Every so often darting lower to drag across the glad he knows better than to touch. The gland that screams at him, calls to him, _begs_ him.

“Mmmmfeels good,” Rey groans, arching into the touch. It’s all he needs to continue as he stumbles into a peaceful sleep, the heat of her body and steady thud of her heartbeat against his chest sirens call to rest. Leaving Ben to wonder to himself before exhaustion overtakes him if this might be what it feels like to love someone.

When he wakes the next morning she’s nowhere to be found. His window his open and his sheets smell like her. His stomach is still coated in a grotesque amalgamation of their bodily fluids. His cock hard and angry as it screams for attention bouncing against his pelvis before he grumbles and takes it in hand. 

He can’t help but notice the way his neck tingles and itches, his hand moving in a languid easy motion. A steady and practiced rhythm that he knows well as he works himself to completion. It’s not hard to get there, the memory of her heat, the smell of her still hot against him and he’s trembling out a silent cry before spilling against his stomach. His cum pooling in the divot of his navel mixing with the mess that's already there.

With a sigh he lays there a moment, his glands burning and feeling strange. He wonders quietly how long it’s been since she left, his window open, the summer air warm and sweet as it blows passed through his curtains. She licked him before she left he realizes, suddenly struck by the deep-seated disappointment that he’d managed to sleep through it. There’s something else though, the scent of her strong against his pillow? 

Turning his head he sniffs subtly, yes but not quite. It must be… but would she? 

Quickly he rubs his fingers against the scent glad under his ears before bringing them up to his nose. He doesn’t even need to inhale to know because it’s all over him. That sweet scent of her that’s a little darker, a little sweeter and so ripe with need. She’d left while still wanting and something about that doesn’t sit right but he’ll rectify that situation as soon as he can.

Until then he’ll enjoy the way that their scents meld together, sweet and earthy and wild. Ben has never smelt anything so divine in all of his life. It’s like a drug, something he can’t get enough of. Obsessively thinking of how he might attain it. He doesn’t pay any attention to the throbbing flesh where she bit him. The area that’s definitely going to be a marked for some time. Or the fact that their friends are definitely going to figure it. Because it won't be long before they put two and two together realizing that he’s the one Rey smells like.

And odd... his pile of dirty laundry seems to be missing a few items. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this weeks ago and when I went to edit it last night I somehow managed to add 4000 more words and that little smut scene... hope you enjoyed it!  
> Come say Hi on [The Twitter](https://twitter.com/rebelscumreylo)


	10. Don't hold this against me, I've already said I'm sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Oh! Ben, do you know a guy named Vos?”
> 
> Ben barely registers the question, thankfully Hux picks up on the name a little more quickly, “Baby, do you mean Dryden Vos?”
> 
> Dryden Vos? Fuck.
> 
> “Yeah, blonde guy with a nasty looking scar on his face?” A scar Ben gave him. Of course, he knows the name, “We ran into him at the canteen, he wanted us to say hi,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Buckle up, she's another long one. Chapter count went up again... I can't help it. I need to be stopped

Eventually, things go back to what might even be considered normal. Only, Ben is’t entirely sure things will ever be normal for them again. Sure, Rey’s back to being loud and combative. She yells and screams in Ben’s face and pushes and pushes until he snaps and hollers back. Its what their friends know, this volatile tensions that vibrates between them. 

Poe jokes that they should fuck and get it over with but everyone else has made it abundantly clear they think that’s the worst idea imaginable. Rose vocally reminds Rey that Ben use to hook up with her sister. That only adds fuel to Rey’s fire which had been annoying in the beginning. Then she arrived at his window climbing through as has become her way. She kisses him fiercely and tells him he’s a prick but her words hold no bite and she comes rutting against him with a gasp and a sigh. They collapse in a panting mess of stained and ruined clothing and fall asleep entangled in one another arms. But not before Rey rubs her pretty little wrists all over Ben’s neck. It’s a thing she’s done many times now, intentional he realizes now, leaving him marked. Like she’s daring her friends to call them out on it. 

When he awakens the next morning she’s gone as per usual but her scent is still there embedded in his flesh. His parents don’t breathe a word about it but he can see them trying to figure it all out. They're not dating, his parents never see her over and he’s never put a toe out of place

It’s a wonder they haven’t been caught yet. They haven't exactly been careful but Ben isn’t sure that getting caught would be the worst thing in the world at this point.

Finn reminds them that Ben is an alpha and Rey hates alpha’s. Thanks, Finn. It makes Ben wants to punch the insufferable beta in the face but in the end, Rey still ends up in Ben’s bed. Take that Finn. Armitage, while not entirely on Rose’s side is the gentle reminder that relationships are drama and a relationship with Rey would be exponentially so. And Ben, after all, hates drama. 

Still, Ben has to wonder if Armitage might have clued in. He’s stopped making comments about the way Ben smells and pushing to have him finally go out on a date. Hux has been exceptionally quiet on the matter of Ben and his sex life which is a welcome change for once. He watches though, not Ben but Rey. Because if anyone is going to give them away it’s her. Sure she yells, but she also takes every opportunity to stand as close as she can. She puts herself between Ben and other girls in a way that is almost possessive. Not that he minds. In fact, he enjoys it a little. It’s fun to push her buttons over it too, pushing her to the point of being flustered. Those are the nights she’ll ride his face until she’s wild, covering his cheeks in her slick until she’s boneless and soft. 

They haven't had sex again though and truthfully Ben doesn’t know that he minds. They’ve done a lot of other things. Explored a plethora of alternatives, finding different variations of ways to get one another off. Rhythms and movements, that tease and tantalize introducing things like ice cubes and blindfolds into the mix. Nothing too heavy, just a little sensory play but somehow it’s managed to be the best sex Ben has ever had without the tradition P in V that he’s become so familiar with. 

It’s strangely comforting being around her now, frustrating sure but there’s something else too. Like their bodies respond to one another through some magnetic pull. Never too far but always moving like in a state of constant flux. He moves, she moves, he stops, she stops. He doesn’t think Rey even realizes it’s happening, it’s effortless and smooth like they’ve known each other their entire lives. All seventeen year, Ben thinks ruefully because this feels like it. That _thing_ that they talk about in movies and write about in books. The feeling of belonging to another human being, of caring for someone more then he cares about himself. 

Ben Solo always thought people were crazy when they proclaimed to be in love at the ripe old age of seventeen. How can someone so young understand something so complex? 

It turns out it isn’t complex at all. His heart feels lighter whenever she’s around. Fighting or no she makes his heart soar and his mind rest at ease. She controls the fire that burns from within and makes him want to be a better person. 

He never thought he’d say it, never thought he’d feel it until he was older but Ben thinks there’s a very good chance that he might actually be in love. 

It’s a torturous feeling, this eruption of joy and plummet into the unknown. It makes his stomach swoop and his brain feel fuzzy but he’s been able to cut back on the dosage of his suppressants and it hasn’t sent him into a blinding rage yet. Her scent calms him, it nurtures his soul in a way he never thought possible.

The downside, he doesn’t know if he’ll be able to live without her ever again. 

Thankfully she’s always around. She joins them for pick up games while Rose and Jannah watch on the sidelines. She kicks his ass at H.O.R.S.E. and steals food off his plate whenever they all go out for pizza, or tacos, or anything edible really. She’s eaten ice cream right off his cone while he was in the middle of a conversation with Gabriel, taking advantage of his distraction. She touches him more frequently too, small gestures when no one is looking. Like she’s reminding herself that she can, that he’s hers.

It’s never been said out loud but there’s an understanding there that goes beyond words.

They fight and they scream and they holler at one another and then she finds him in a bathroom, an empty hallway, an unoccupied bedroom and she kisses him and kisses him until she’s stolen all reason from him. It’s frantic, all lips and hands and clothing pulled and stretched. She steals his clothing too, how everyone missed that one is beyond Ben’s comprehension. She's inherited his hockey sweater, that was the first. Since then there’s been an old band shirt, a pair of pyjama pants which honestly makes no sense at all. Another sweater and two old flannel button-downs he hasn’t worn in ages. 

His heart nearly stopped beating when he came back from the bathroom to find her standing in nothing more than a pair of purple lace panties and his blue and white flannel. The panels of fabric barely covering her breasts as she stood bathed in moonlight. Her cheeks were still flushed, lips swollen and wet from swallowing his cock. He fucked her with his fingers while she jerked him and let him cum on her tits. Afterwards, she’d taken his hand and made him rub it into her skin, which had only served to make him hard all over again. 

Thank god they weren’t having actual vaginal intercourse, Ben wouldn’t be able to afford the condoms needed. Alpha condoms were more expensive after all, on account of needing to be able to withstand the expansion of a knot, bucket loads of cum and not burst in the process. His mother had not so surreptitiously slipped a box into his nightstand with a note reminding him to be a gentleman. His father just patted him on the shoulder and told him not to get anyone knocked up. 

He told his parents that he wasn’t having sex with anyone which wasn’t an out and out lie. They left him alone about it though and Ben continued to leave his window open at night. He’d learned this was good practice after he woke up several nights in a row to Rey curled up against him in bed.

It turns out Rey sometimes ( _frequently_ ) suffers from nightmares and on nights when she can’t sleep she makes her way two blocks over in the middle of the night to crawl into Ben’s bed. He doesn’t say anything on those nights, the ones when she nuzzles in close and holds tight against him. He wants to but he can’t because that's not what they are. 

Well, it is, but he knows she’s not there yet and he has no desire to push her beyond where she’s comfortable. She’s not ready to talk about the monsters she runs from or the fears that keep her awake. Truthfully he’s not entirely sure what it is she does want but Ben is patient. 

He lives off the scraps that she offers him, leaning into arguments and chasing the sound of her laugh. They still work the summer camps together but they don’t talk nearly as freely. She’s careful around him now, guarded in a way that seems strange considering the number of times she’s cum from his mouth. She and Luke come for family dinners and no one says a word about how they were found stuck together in Ben’s bedroom. He wonders if Luke is even aware or if he cares. Somehow Ben thinks he might if only because it’s Ben and heaven forbid Rey be the one at fault. 

That’s ok though, he’ll wear the scarlet letter or take the brunt of the scorn if it means that Rey can feel more comfortable. If it makes her life just a little bit easier. She sees it too, sees him because there are times despite the hollering and the fighting with one another that she cries against his chest and tells him she doesn’t deserve him. It makes it sound like they’re actually together and that feeling is pretty spectacular. 

It’s strange that no one seems to notice the way her scent has slowly shifted. Or how her mating glad always seems far more irritated and obvious. No one comments on how Ben’s eyes follow her every move or how no matter how brutally they fight he’s always there to walk her home. 

Is it their ignorance as teenagers, too absorbed in their own self-interest to notice when one of their closest friends has changed in such a fundamentally massive way? 

It feels so obvious, the way his room smells like her, his clothes, his hair, his skin. No one bothers to ask why or seems to mind that Rey is always wearing his hoodie. The one he leant her the night of Hux’s pool party at the beginning of the summer. 

That was weeks ago now and Ben is quite sure he’s never getting it back. Sometimes it’ll show up in his closet amongst all his things and then disappear days later after one of Rey’s overnight visits. When that happens he’s taken to wearing it, covering it in his scent so that when she takes it back she’ll be covered in him. Why else would she leave it after all if not for that reason?

No one questions when they leave parties together. Ben’s just walking her home after all. Everyone knows how strained his relationship is with his Uncle Luke and how his mother always gets involved and drags Ben along with her. Like when Leia started volunteering at the homeless shelter and started dragging Ben along with her. Thankfully a teenage alpha was not a welcome addition to the volunteer staff and Ben’s presence was found to be aggravating the gusts. He was politely asked to leave and thanked for his time.

It’s mid-way through August when Poe tells him they’re all going to the drive-in and it would be super helpful if Ben was able to borrow his dad's suburban. Ben hates driving the damn thing but it’s the easiest way to sneak in liquor and extra bodies. So here they are. 

It’s laughable for simple it is and the effort put in all seems a little silly.  It’s not like the drive-in is expensive but Poe proudly exclaims that’s not the point as he exits the vehicle with Rey and Rose on each arm trotting off in search of refreshments. Gwen pulls up next to them in her old beat-up jeep with Mitaka, Kaydel and Holly while Tallie pulls up on the other side looking thoroughly annoyed as Gabriel waves from the passenger seat. 

“Where are Rey and Rose?” Tallie asks sharply while Gabriel mouths ‘ _sorry_ ’ behind her. 

Ben knows better than to get involved with water is going on there so instead tosses his thumb in the direction of the concession stand grunting, “Food,” before he sets to fiddling with the dials of the radio until he finds the right station. 

After a minute or two of silence Hux clears his throat. He’s subtle, like a brick to the back of the neck as he nudges forward, his knees coming to an awkward angle as he rests his elbows on the back of the front seats, “So.”

“So.” Ben offers in return turning his body some so that he’s more looking at his friend and less canoodling with him. 

“You and Niima.”

“Fuck you guys are like a broken record,” _deflect, deflect, deflect._

Hux merely laughs before looking out one window and then the next. When he’s content that no one is paying them any attention his jovial smile turns into something akin to irritation, “Shut up Solo,” 

“Wh—“

“I said shut up and just listen to me ok?”

Ben rolls his eyes but nods all the same. This isn’t the same as when Dameron makes his comments, Hux may be an ass but he’s been careful up until now, “You think I haven’t noticed the way Niima swaddles herself in your sweater? It’s kind of hard to ignore, your fucking name is branded across her shoulders there friend.”

“So?”

With a Huff Hux mumbles, “You’re not that big of an idiot, I know you’re not. Rosie’s worried about Rey. She thinks she’s been seeing someone—“

Ben tries not to laugh because well, she kind of is, isn’t she? “She could just ask Rey about it?” 

“And she has but Rey just tells her it’s nothing.” Well, that hurts a little more than Ben had been expecting but what was Rey suppose to say? “Rey’s scent is different.” A pause, Ben waits to see where Hux is going to take this, “Fuck, ok fine you want to play it like that. You’re fucking her aren’t you?” 

For a second Ben considers lying through his teeth. He starts to a few times but it feels strange and wrong to deny something that means so much to him. There’s the truth and then there’s an abridged version, “Once, I had sex with her once,” not a lie exactly. 

“Shit…” Hux flops back against the bench seat, his arms hanging between his long legs. He’s a pasty fucker and the back seats tinted windows make the vehicle dark. Hux lights up like a glow stick sitting against the dark leather, “What happened?”

“We had sex, you want details? Her pussy was involved and I stuck my dick in it. What the fuck do you think happened?” 

“No, I mean, why only once? Whatever you two have going on is fucking electric man. It drives Rosie crazy the way you fight but it also… it drives her _crazy_ you know?” It takes Ben a minute to realize what it is his friend is trying to tell him, “It’s totally a biology thing but man you two fucking spark and the next thing I know I’m being blown in the back of Poe’s Jetta while he runs into Snap’s to get a fiver of weed.” 

“Right…” what else is he suppose to say to that?

“Besides, you’re clearly besotted my friend.” 

“Besotted?”

“Word of the day calendar,” Hux offers with a shrug, “You scare her off with your big alpha knot or something?”

Ben chews on his lip a moment, his eyes flickering out the back tinted window. Rey and Rose are sitting on a picnic table while Poe converses with a group of three Ben doesn’t recognize. They appear to be waiting for food, “Fuck ok, don’t you breathe a word, I swear Armitage,”

“Scouts honour,” he offers the cost signal and everything.

“My… parents kind of walked in.” 

For just a moment Ben’s not sure if Hux is going to scream or laugh. His eyes go wide, his mouth drops and his face seems to roll through a myriad of emotions before he slaps his hands harshly together. 

It’s at that moment the back driverside door opens and Gwen slides in pushing Hux over as she does so. “Hellu friends,” she purrs happily, running her fingers through her short stylized hair a few times, “What are we talking about in here?”

Ben looks to Gwen and then back to Hux who looks like he might burst into flames under the sheer pressure of this newfound information. Armie is generally really good at keeping secrets. He has too many of his own to chance pissing people off but in this very moment Ben knows he’s utterly fucked, “Solo fucked Niima and his parents walked in!” Hux lets out in a rush. 

_ Fuck. _

“I’m sorry, come again?” Gwen says quickly.

“I dunno, did you Ben? Did you come again?”

Ben swings back trying to grab Hux by whatever he can get his hands on. A shirt, an ankle, his fucking scrawny neck, “Next time you get in shit on the ice you’re on your own,” Ben seethes, a hollow threat and they all know it.

Gwen looks curiously pensive over the whole thing, her cool eyes the color of deep froze water, her lips quirked in a sweet sort of smile, painted the brightest red Ben has ever seen, “Are we talking you were fooling around and got caught or…”

“I was balls deep, knot popped and my parents walked in.” 

Hux lets out another laugh clapping his hands together, “Imagine lovely lady Leia walking in to her son’s pale arse and Niima’s legs slung over his shoulders.”

“It was worse than that,” He really needs to learn to shut up.

Gwen is leaning forward, her hand poised on the headrest of Ben’s seat so she can better look at him, “What could be worse than that?”

Closing his eyes Ben purses his lips and exhales steadily. He can hear Rey laughing as she calls out Finn’s name. He was supposed to be meeting them here but Poe had said he’d be running late, “Just… ok.” He runs his hand through his hair a few times a familiar heat creeping up along his neck and into his ears, “She was on top. Rey I mean and I’d knotted her so we were sort of… stuck so I laid back and…”

Both Gwen and Hux look at each other clearly mortified for Ben. Thank goodness for small miracles. No one deserves to be caught that way, “So… your mum—“ Has starts.

“And Dad, Han was there too.”

“Was it horrible?” Gwen asks breathily.

“Well, it’s hard to rate but having your dad comment on the size of your balls while your mother screams about you not using a condom because she can _see_ you’re not wearing a condom…” 

Another look and Gwen speaks, “You fucked Niima bareback?” Ben nods, “Are you a fucking idiot?”

“Clearly, don’t worry my mother went over all of this already.”

“I bet she did,” Hux snorts, “But honestly mate, be careful with that shit hey?” 

“Alpha and omega pairings are twice as likely to convince and omega genetics can make birth control incredibly unreliable Ben.” While she sounds annoyed, Gwen’s voice holds a certain tone of caution to it too. Like she’s genuinely worried about him, “Have you guys talked about it? Like actually talked about it because it’s a conversation you should have.”

“It’s sex Gwen, he’s not asking her to be his mate.” But Gwen hit’s Hux before he can say anything else leaving the ginger to clutch his chest, mouth gaping like a fish, “You got my nipple!”

“You listen too Weasley—“

“—Weasley.” Hux parrots in disbelief.

“You guys get to go and blow your load and move on, there are no major repercussions for you. You knock someone up and sure that’s on you and if you’re a good man you stick it out and you help in whatever way you can and I’m not saying that’s not hard or admirable but you lot get the easy part. Your girl? She’s left with a decision that you may get to weigh in on but ultimately you have no say. It’s not your body, it’s hers and she has to live with it for the rest of her fucking life. So, before you go getting your dick wet have the fucking conversation. Find out where her head is at or you have no right to bring your cock anywhere near her. You hear me?” Gwen looks between the two of them as though to make sure they both fully understand, “And you Solo, I thought you were smarter than that.”

It’s not that he’d never thought about what might happen. He did, of course, he did but it didn’t seem likely and Rey said she had the implant so they were good. Weren’t they? He wanted to believe that it was just that simple but Gwen was making him feel like he’d forced Rey into something she didn’t want. It’s hard not to bristle under the accusations but somewhere deep down Ben knows that Gwen’s right. He hates that he knows it but he does. He knew it when his mother had explained it to him too but for some reason hearing it come out of the mouth of one of his peers really drives the point home. 

That leaves Ben stuck between a rock and a hard place because there's no way Rey would be willing to have that conversation with him and without that conversation, he wasn’t entirely comfortable with the idea of having sex. Not that he needed to fill her pretty pussy with his cock. He was perfectly content to do all the other things they had been doing thus far. 

Not that his friends needed to know about all of that. When Gwen is content she’s made her point she pushes the conversation towards Poe’s eminent birthday and how they should all pretend to forget and then surprise him with a party.

It seems like forever before Rey and Rose return to the vehicle, Poe nowhere in sight, “He and Finn went to make out behind the canteen,” Rose offers politely as she slides in next to Hux and begins doling out treats. 

“I got you popcorn,” Rey says as she starts handing Ben an assortment of goodies through his open window before she makes her way around the passenger side door. There are two bags of popcorn and two tall cups filled with a mysterious liquid. Not Jack Rey teases with a grin. A box of Maltesers, a large bag of skittles, what looks like it might be cotton candy in a bag, a handful of suckers and a styrofoam container that sits in his lap warm and heavy, “I know you said you didn’t want anything, but I asked the magic eight ball and it said you were lying.”

It’s hard to hide the smile that flickers its way along the corner of his mouth but Rey catches it and stares. She seems to hold onto the moment, her face utterly lit up as she jabs him in the nose with the end of her pointer finger, “You,” she chirps, “Are welcome.” 

The thank you is there, it’s sitting on the end of his tongue. He’s going to say it. He wants to say it but all he can do is watch the way her lips move. Like watching her form sounds is the most incredible feat he’s ever witnessed in his whole entire life. He wants to kiss her so bad that he thinks he might spontaneously combust but he can’t, she wouldn’t want it. He shouldn’t but all of the reasons he had just fifteen minutes ago don’t make sense now. He’s touched and licked and _loved_ every inch of her body. Every inch and then some, even areas he didn’t think he’d ever venture with another human being. How can it be so wrong to want to kiss her after all of that? 

She’s smiling as she talks, taking things from his hands to organize herself in a sea of treats. Her shoes on the floor as she sits cross-legged in the suburban's too large front seat, body swimming in his sweater. His sweater that he’s noticed she has a habit of rubbing against her nose when she’s thinking, or tired, or sad. 

Like she’s doing right now while she deliberates which snack she should break into first. 

It fills Ben with an alpha like pride to see her so content surrounded in the scent of him. Her lithe form swallowed up in a sea of fabric that is branded both with his scent and his name. 

With a feral sort of grin, Rey turns on him quickly reaching out to take the styrofoam container that sits heavy in his lap. Her eyes are wide and bright as she cocks her head to the side taking in his apparent alarm. He hadn’t been expecting her to reach so suddenly towards his groin and it’s hard to tamper down the boiling arousal that he knows is only going to get him in trouble. 

With a coy smile, she looks into the back seat, Hux and Rosie are pressed together while Rose feeds the ginger mike and ikes, asking him which colour happens to be his favourite. They’re sickeningly sweet, pressed together the way lovers do and while Ben finds this sort of behaviour nauseatingly obnoxious he can’t help the growing jealousy that burbles within his chest. 

Rey scrunches her nose and makes a crude vomiting gesture before snatching up her treat. Still, her hands linger a little longer, her touch feather-light as she grazes her hand across his lap and kneads his growing erection. _Fuck_. She’s going to kill him. With a wink and a grin, she’s back in her seat popping open the lid to reveal the most disgusting array of food Ben has ever laid eyes on.

“What the fuck is that?” he says without preamble watching Rey’s pink little tongue as it darts out past her lips and takes in the specimen like she’s half-wild with hunger.

There are fries and it smells like gravy maybe. The smell of grease and unhealthy choices filling up the car at a nauseating rate. The only positive to this sudden stench is that it’s diluting the strong scent of Ben’s obvious desire which admittedly is wavering at the sight of the monstrosity that Rey is now covering with ketchup. 

“Poutine,” Rey chirps happily, swinging a packet of ketchup back and forth before emptying its contents in the corner of the tray.

Ben takes a sniff and then turns away quickly, rolling down his window as fast as he can, “That is not a poutine,” he accuses. He’s never seen a poutine quite like this one and he’s lived off rink food for days at a time. Poutines are unhealthy but admittedly pretty tasty, a good hangover food if cold pizza can’t be found. But, poutines are fries and cheese curds and gravy. Whatever this thing is has hunks of something brown and skin like littered under the gravy making it look like something Hannibal Lecture might indulge in if he had a taste for grease and clogged arteries. Whatever the substance is, the smell is laced in with the gravy, “That looks like baby vomit.”

Stabbing at it with her fork Rey pulls at the fries and cheese and whatever the strange meat thing is, twirling the stringed cheese around before shovelling it all in her mouth, “Jesus Niima, you’re like a fucking seagull.” Hux isn’t wrong but Ben can’t help but watch the way her throat moves as she chews the mouthful of questionable food before swallowing. Licking at her lips as she smiles, “Donair poutine Solo, you want some?” 

Ben shakes his head but she’s scooping up another mouthful and waving it in his face like he’s a toddler opening up for the airplane, “Fuck off Rey,” but she presses, her hand held under the plastic fork as she prods at his pursed lips. 

“Come on _Benjamin_ ,” She pops the B on his name and a shiver of something ripples down along his spine. It’s a dangerous game she’s playing this teasing and taunting that could almost be considered flirting. No, it’s _definitely_ flirting, the way she's smiling right now, her tongue working against her lips. It’s hard to focus on the food when she’s pulling shit like that. His dick twitches in his pants and her eyes widen just a fraction. They’re going to be found out if she keeps this up and Ben honestly couldn’t give two shits.

Without any warning he reaches out and takes her wrist, his thumb sliding over her scent gland in a way that makes her gasp. He’s holding her steady as he leans forwards and takes the food off the fork but not before licking at her fingers hovering below. The red tinge in her cheeks is the most precious thing he’s ever seen. Well, one of at least. Watching her pretty tits pink up as he worships them with his mouth is quite high on that list too. 

They’re locked in a staredown when Rose pipes up from the back “Oh! Ben, do you know a guy named Vos?”

Ben barely registers the question, thankfully Hux picks up on the name a little more quickly, “Baby, do you mean Dryden Vos?”

Dryden Vos? Fuck.

“Yeah, blonde guy with a nasty looking scar on his face?” A scar Ben gave him. Of course, he knows the name, “We ran into him at the canteen, he wanted us to say hi,” He’s not aware he’s doing it until Rey’s eyes go wide but there’s a growl rumbling in his chest that comes close to being animalistic. The idea that Rey was anywhere near that creep sets Ben’s teeth on edge. 

“Did he touch you?” he doesn’t even recognize his voice as the words tumble from his lips, watching Rey as she shakes her head emphatically. Ever the one to push the issue she gives his knee a quick squeeze before settling back into her seat to eat her poutine in quiet. 

He can hear Rose in the back muttering something that sounds an awful lot like, “What was that about?” as Hux sets to explaining the situation. Ben doesn’t listen, he can’t he tunes the whole thing out his eyes scanning the sea of cars beyond in hopes he might pick out Vos’ ostentatiously bright muscle car. It’s robins egg blue paint job makes him easy to pick out in a crowd.

“Ben!” Hux’s voice rings through the steady thudding in Ben’s ears. A hand on his shoulder making him flinch. “Forget him, man, we’re here to watch the movie. Vos wouldn’t be stupid enough to start something here.” 

Only he is and now Ben has something important to him which makes Vos all the more dangerous, “Rey—“  


But the look in her eyes silences him quickly. They plead _not here,_ promising they can talk about it later. Ben isn’t so sure his patience can handle later but the speakers crackle as the screen in front of them lights up, a dancing hotdog making its way across the screen. 

Saved by the movie. 

Eventually, Rose and Hux complain about the view and make their way over to Gwen’s jeep because the top is down and it’s easier to see the screen. Alone in the car with Rey, Ben finds it hard to focus on anything but her. The way her breathing shifts, the sound of her laugh. The sharp intake of air when something scares her making him want to wrap his arms around her and keep her safe. 

Half an hour in her poutine is abandoned and she’s curled up on her hip, leaning in his direction. Moments after she’s leaning against the middle console and the next thing he knows her hand is in his, thumb rubbing against his scent gland. It’s soothing the way she does it, like she knows he needs to feel her scent pressed against his skin.

The movie rolls on and Ben honestly has no idea what’s happening. Someone is killing co-eds and there’s a guy in a mask while some douche bag is trying to pressure his girlfriend into sleeping with him. Ben has never really been much of a movie guy but Rey seems to be enjoying herself. He can’t help but think that this might be a little more enjoyable if she were to slide into his lap. If he could stroke her hair while she curled up against him. 

Rey seems to pick up on the way his scent changes catching his eye with a coquettish grin, “Ben Solo,” she chides, “can’t wait until later?” he hadn’t been aware that his scent had spiked that much but the idea of having her heat pressed up against him does something to him that he simply cannot control, “Are you hard right now?”

Ben can’t help his whimper as her hand slips from his to slowly stroke along the front of his shorts. He really should be embarrassed but Rey seems to preen as she rubs her palm against him roughly watching him now instead of the movie screen, “Look at you,” she purrs, dragging her nails along his clothed erection, the fucking tease. She’s going to get him all worked up and then leave him like she does so frequently when they find themselves out in pubic. If it’s one thing Ben has learned, she loves to make him needy. She thrives on the knowledge that he’s half-wild for her, greedily winding him up like a child toy she can't wait to play with later

“You are fucking evil,” Ben grits out but Rey’s hand hasn’t stopped. Her fingertips knead and press and grope until her thumb catches the edge of the button on his shorts and pops it open with a disturbing degree of accuracy. 

“You don’t like it?” Her voice sounds sweet and thick, easing down the zipper until there’s nothing more than the thing material of his boxer briefs separating him from the cool air, “You have to be quiet _alpha_ ,” 

Fuck. She knows what it does to him when she calls him that. His lips pressed together as he focuses on his breathing. Steady and smooth through his nose because he knows if he were to open his mouth he’d be able to taste her in the air. There’s the slightest sweetness to the atmosphere around them, the scent of her slick making his cock bounce against its cloth cage. 

“Can you be quiet Ben?” Her fingers dip down, trailing over the swelling at the base of his shaft. His knot already painfully obvious. It’s been weeks since he’s been inside her and although they’ve done many other things it still isn’t the same as feeling her heat expand around him, welcoming and desperate to lock in all the cum he’s so kindly bestowed upon her, “Should I make you come?” 

“Fuck.” He bites out through his teeth, looking over to Gwen’s jeep where the two couples sit canoodling, watching the giant screen in front of them, “Rey,” her name comes out a whine as he bucks his hips into her touch, a silent plea for her to continue. 

“Act natural Ben,” Rey purrs, “ put your seat back just a little,” as she does the same, obscuring the view of the cars on either side of them, “can’t let the others see…” 

Ben does as he’s told his eyes following her hand now as she pulls him free, exposing him to the cool night air. He’s so hard already it almost hurts but her hand is a warm balm as she wraps her fingers around and gives him a few easy strokes. She plays with the rhythm a little, fast and then slow, pulling his foreskin back until he’s exposed and leaking and so fucking desperate for her. 

When her hand tightens its hold Ben whimpers, drawing her attention back from the movie screen. She’s trying to feign indifference, like nothing out of the ordinary is happening while the world around them continues on, “You’re going to make me work for it aren’t you,” She says lightly, squeezing at his cock head as she uses his precum for lube. He wishes she’d use her mouth but he wouldn’t dare ask but that begs the question where he’s expected to come. 

“Fu—uuuuck Rey.” he manages, watching as her small fist continues to move against him, “Swee—“ 

Words escape him as he watches her lean down until his cock is pushing passed her lips and into her mouth. The sweet heat of her tongue slides against him as she swirls her tongue against the tip making him groan. Just weeks ago she’d never done this before and now she’s a fucking genius at it. 

Working his shaft with one hand she slowly begins to push her lips down the hard length of him, stopping midway as her first and lips meet. He can feel as she swallows, her mouth watering, stretched over him as her lashes flutter, eyes closing as though focused intently upon her job. 

She pushes further, relaxing her jaw until he can feel the tight heat of the back of her throat. It’s maddening the way her tongue wriggles just so before pulling back to bob once more, “Put your hands on the back of my head,” she whispers, pulling him free from her lips, “Don’t force it but maybe just pull my hair a little?” 

Ben groans as he pushes his fingers through her hair messing up the loose bun she has it pulled back in, “Fuck Rey—“ his stomach clenches when he feels the way her lips take in his swollen head before lapping at the slit there with kittenish licks. It’s tentative and sweet as her hand pumps from top to bottom before squeezing softly at his knot which is starting to flare hot and heavy, “Can you— will yo—“ words fail him with the next heavy stroke of her hand, “My— knot can you — your mouth” 

There’s a soft vibration that curls along his spine as a “ _mmmhmm_ ” rolls from her and she’s pulling off with a loud slurp and a pop. She pushes his cock up so that it's pointing towards his belly giving her the opportunity to dip her head lower and run her tongue along the swollen and sensitive flesh at his base. With soft open-mouthed kisses she runs her tongue alongthe underside, ducking lower to lick along the seam of his balls.

“Je—Jesus christ” he tries not to cant his hips, tries to stay on control but she’s licking him now from base to tip, “I’m going to— to make you cum s—so hard later,” he promises, the scent of her ripe in the air. He’s learned that Rey likes it when he talks dirty. She generally hates anything he might have to say in the presence of their friends but she loves it when he talks to her through whatever sexually charged games they might play, “You’re gon—gonna make me come in that pretty little mouth— _fuck._ ” 

It’s nothing fancy now just the bobbing of her head moving to meet her fist but fuck if it isn’t perfect. It won’t be long now before he’s spilling down her throat but there’s a desperate need burning within him to make it last as long as humanly possible. The thrill of being in public makes his balls ache as she hums softly to herself, nostrils flaring as she picks up on how close she has him to the edge. 

“Fuck sweetheart.” Another favourite, he’s tried a variety, baby girl made her bite him, while anything involving _sweet_ makes her purr like a kitten. Sweetheart is a favourite while _sweet girl_ and _sweet little one_ make her keen just as well, “I’m gonna — nngh — paint the back of your throat. Fuck your mouth feels so good. Not as good as your pussy though,” There’s a sharp intake of air and the air of the suburban becomes thick and sweet. That seems to have done something he hadn’t anticipated. They hadn’t talked about that sort of thing but fuck Ben’s been thinking about it. He’s been trying to be respectful and Rey has been mum on the subject so he fucks her mouth, her fist and sometimes her tits as much or as often as Rey will allow. He’s painted her in his spend, rubbed it into her scent glands which had been a particularly huge turn on for him and yet he’s come nowhere near knotting that pretty little pussy of hers again. 

“Mmm, sweet girl,” Ben looses a hand from her head and brings his thumb to his mouth. Wetting it quickly he presses the pad of it against her mating gland rubbing in slow easy circles. Rey’s breathing changes immediately, her hold on his cock tighter, “Should I cum in y—your mouth or maybe right here?” He presses a little harder, not enough to be painful but enough that she can feel it. She’s wet right now and he really shouldn’t push the issue. They’re going to get caught if not in the act then by the scent lingering afterwards. How no one has managed to pick up on the aroma seeping from their vehicle by now is absurd. “I want my scent all over you,” she hums and Ben pants, “Fuck babe— I’m gon—“ His hand moves to the base of her head before working this fingers into her hair where he holds in her place, “Re—eyyyyyy” He whimpers, his balls pulling tight as his cock pulses in her mouth pumping cum down the back of her throat.

There’s a stifled meep accompanied by her tongue working against the hard length of him cleaning up whatever manages to spill passed her lips. It’s sweet and glorious and when she’s done wiping the corners of her mouth with the sleeve of his sweater it takes everything in him not to pull her on top of him so he might have a turn. 

Rey’s lips are plump and swollen, glistening in the dim light while her pupils eat up the majority of her dark iris’. She’s still so fucking turned on it makes his cock twitch as it softens. He can’t help what happens next. The way he darts forward, his lips crashing against hers. For a minute it’s just them, lips and tongue and the faint musky taste that is undeniably him lingering on the edge of her mouth. Other guys on the hockey team always talked about how much they hated kissing after getting blown, Ben, on the other hand, finds it oddly euphoric. The taste of himself still on her tongue. Knowing it’s because he’s just emptied himself in the heat of her mouth. 

“Fucking perfect,” He mumbles against her lips as he pulls himself back into his shorts and buttons himself away. 

Rey is flushed and needy as she sits back in her seat. Twitching as her eyes fall back to the screen. There’s a killer running around in that stupid white mask again chasing some girls with a knife. Ou scary. But Ben can’t think about any of that because all he wants to do is bury his face between her thighs. 

In an attempt to calm her down Ben reaches out and rubs his wrist against the scent gland at her neck. It’s as much for him as it is for her, coating her in his scent in a way that’s selfish and maybe a little too risky before Rey is bolting from the car quickly muttering something about needing to use the bathroom. He watches her go leaving him alone in the vehicle with no sweet clue what could have possibly gone wrong. 

The movie ends and Hux returns, Rose gone off to find Rey in the little girl's room while the credits roll and everyone goes about stretching their legs before the second movie starts.

“Jesus Christ, did you guys fuck in here?” Hux croaks as he climbs into the passenger seat now covered in candy wrappers.

“Is it that bad?” 

Hux doesn’t give him an answer so much as he glares at him before digging into the glove box to pull out a small aerosol can, “You guys need to get your shit together,” Armitage grips giving the air a liberal spritz with what Ben now realizes is spray scent suppressant. His parents keep them in all the cars as a safety measure. All teenage alpha’s and omegas should realistically have them on hand to avoid any mishaps, “You’re lucky it was me and not—“

There’s a loud bang on the side of the suburban pulling Ben from his thoughts. Another bang and his name being hollered and he’s throwing the door open to see a panicked looking Rose standing before him. Her cheeks are flushed her eyes wide as Hux sweeps in behind her his hands around her hips, “Ben, fuck Jesus,” she pants, “I am too out of shape to run like that.”

“Baby, whatter you running like that for?” Hus is petting her face but Rose’s eyes are locked on Ben.

“It’s that Vos guy.” Rose lets out a harsh exhale as Ben realizes Rey isn’t with her. Rey isn’t with Rose and she hasn’t come back from the bathroom. She left smelling like a snack and she hasn’t come back and…

“Fuck.” Before he knows what he’s doing Ben’s taking off across the car lot. Weaving in and out of vehicles filled with people and friends just standing around. He tries to catch a whiff of her on the air. The bathroom is the most logical choice but there are three of them on the grounds. One at the canteen, too public, one near the playground, that wouldn’t make sense and one to the far end where the smokers go to kill their lungs in peace. That’s where he’ll find her he’s sure of it. 

He’s pushing through crowds of people, a few of which call out his name as he passes but he can’t stop. He won’t stop until he knows she’s safe. And she can’t be if Vos is involved. He’s the worst sort of alpha and if he even thinks Rey might be down to fuck and the scent of her is so strong and… and… _fuck._

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

His smell is all over her. 

It’s only going to paint a bigger target on her back.

Fuck.

It’s then that it hits him, the spike in her scent, the fear and the agitation and the anger. Pure and hot and violent. He doesn’t see her at first, it’s dark in this corner of the car park, the lights all shining towards the back but she’s there, just there the white letters on the back of her sweater making her stand out because, fuck. His name is written on her. 

Vos and a beta Ben recognizes as Beckett are standing on either side of Rey while a group of their friends watch on, seated on a series of picnic tables like vultures. Vos has his hand raised and he’s… he’s _touching_ her. He’s stroking her cheek with the back of his finger and Ben’s chest burns with a need to go faster. 

“Dryden you fuck,” Ben hollers and Rey spins quickly on her heel tripping into Beckett who wraps his arms around her torso like a vice. 

“Solo, how good to see you,” Comes Dryden’s smooth snakelike tone. He’s trying to play it cool but the reek of agitated alpha is thick and heavy in the air, “Met your little girlfriend.” 

“Not my girlfriend,” Ben grinds out, ignoring the confused and moderately hurt look that dancers across Rey’s face. Claiming her as an attachment will only put her in a worse position. Better to let Dryden think Ben has no interest in her at all. 

“She’s wearing your name Solo, look, see,” Grabbing Rey from Beckett's arms he forces her to turn around, “So—lo” Dryden says in a slow and mocking way dragging his finger across the back of Rey’s shoulder, “You’re the only Solo I know, that’s your number too isn’t it?”

Ben stops prowling, his hands at his sides clenching into fists, “She was cold, I gave her my sweater.” 

Vos pouts sarcastically, “Poor thing, she’s so little. You didn’t try and warm her up in some other way than Ben?” taking a soft sniff at the air Dryden’s grin becomes positively manic, “You asshole, she's all slick and sweet and covered in your alpha stench.” leaning in so his mouth lingers close to Rey’s neck Dryden motions to bite causing Ben’s insides to broil, “bet she tastes like you too, should I try?”

“Didn’t know you were into guys Vos,” Ben bites out, “No judgement I just didn’t realize you felt that way about me.” 

“Fuck you, Solo.”

“I’m sorry, are you offering? I mean I feel like I’d be more of a top, you’re such a little bitch anyway,” 

There’s a shuffle of feet and Ben’s one becomes many as Poe, Gwen, Gabriel, Tallie, Hux and Finn all make themselves known. Vos bites out a bitter laugh stepping in front of Rey, “Poor little thing, I bet he cant take care of you the way you need can he?”

Ben watches as Rey shrugs out of Dryden’s grasp struggling against the weight of Tobias Beckett at her back. Someone, likely Finn calls out something that sounds like, “ _Let her go_ ,” as Beckett shoots them the finger. 

“You a puck bunny little omega?” Rey tries to kick at him causing Ben to struggle between his fear for her safety and his pride at her tenacity, “You have a thing for hockey players? I play hockey, maybe you’ll wanna play with me too. How many have you had? Poe I imagine, he’s had, _everyone._ Not Gabby there, his balls are in a vice. You fuck Huxley? I imagine you’ve had quite a few if you’ve made it to the bottom of that barrel. I mean you Solo. You’re the bottom of the barrel.” 

It’s not the insult to his character he cares about but the implication about Rey. There’s a steady building fire that’s burning through his veins. His skin feels hot, his head throbs and he knows full well what’s going to happen if he can’t reign himself in.   


“Calm down,” Poe whispers at his side, “Becket’s useless without Vos we just need to get him away from her and Finn is going to slip in and grab her.” 

It’s a loosely formed plan but Ben can’t wrap his head around how it's going to work because all he knows is he’s going to start swinging and when he does he’s not going to stop until Vos is a bloody pile of human remains on the ground. His hand is sliding over Rey’s arm as he leans in to sniff her again, “She’s ripe, fucking horny little thing. You know I caught her throwing out her _panties_. Filthy little omega isn’t wearing anything underneath those little shorts of hers.

This is all Bens fault, all his fault, _all his fault._ It makes his head spin and swirl until the world seems tilted on its side. Finn’s going to grab Rey, all Ben needs to do is get Vos away. Ok. He can do that.

“Ben. Solo man, calm down.” Poe, maybe Hux, _someone_ is talking to him but he’s seething, moving before he realizes it and the next thing he knows there’s the feeling of soft flesh squishing against his fist. There’s a loud cry, a scream and Vos is turning on him. A shift and something metal hits Ben in the face. His jaw stings but that won’t stop him. He’s hurtling himself into Dryden’s chest knocking him to the ground. There’s a chorus of voices, people screaming, hands grabbing for him. It doesn’t matter, none of it matters because what he needs to do is pound this asshole until he stops moving. Only he won’t stop moving. He’s lashing out, hitting Ben wherever he can, in the side, in the gut, in the face, but Ben won’t be stopped. 

Someone behind him gets an elbow to the face and the next thing he knows there’s a stern voice through a megaphone and flashing red and blue lights. Dryden’s face is bloody and distorted as he spits at Ben, one of his teeth hitting Ben’s hand before his arms are being wrenched behind his back.

“Don’t please!” a female voice calls. _Rey_ … it’s Rey’s voice, “That asshole started it.” She’s crying. He made her cry. He hates when she cries, he’d do anything to make it stop. Only he can’t because there are metal cuffs being forced onto his wrists and he’s being hauled to his feet. “He was defending me, He was trying to protect me.” Rey’s voice grows faint as Ben lurches around. 

He can’t make eye contact, but finds Poe in the crowd, “Get her home to Lukes and then call my mom!” 

Poe nods and then puts his arm around Rey trying to usher her away from the scene. Ben’s hands ache, his jaw feels bruised but there’s no way he looks as bad as Dryden does. That likely won’t work out to his advantage but it looks like they’re confiscating something from Vos and he’s being cuffed and drug along too. 

There’s that at least. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... that happened...  
> How do we feel friends? I'm a thirty-three-year-old female trying to write a seventeen-year-old male here so I'm hoping it's translating haha   
> Come say hello on [The Twitter](https://twitter.com/rebelscumreylo)


	11. And we'll go to sleep but this time not alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What did I tell you about getting into fights with Dryden Vos?” Antilles asks with a slow and easy drawl, like a father scolding him for leaving his bike out in the rain or forgetting to gas up the car.
> 
> “Don’t get caught?”
> 
> “You know full well he’s going to antagonize every chance he can get after you put him in the hospital last year.”
> 
> “Coach,” Ben huffs, “You know that wasn’t—“

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, thank you so much for all your support and recs for this fic, I'm overwhelmed with the love you've all expressed and I adore all of you so so much. I also want to say thank you to everyone who has reached out to me in DM's over twitter for the love and encouragement. I love it so much  
> You're comments give me life friends, oh my god, I'm floored by the response to the last chapter. I always intend to reply and then I get in my own head and I forget and I suck so I'm sorry but you're all so freaking amazing!  
> This chapter was written and then, of course, being me I added more and it took a turn but I hope you enjoy!

This was not the first time Ben had been in the back of a police car. It was, however, the first time he was in the back of a police car in cuffs. Not an experience he ever wanted to relive. His arresting officer was kind and did apologize for banging Ben’s head against the door frame as he guided Ben into the back seat of the cruiser. Apparently it's not as easy when you're trying to arrest a six-foot-three giant of a teenager who just so happens to be built like a fridge. The result of consistent hockey training and a need to always be on the move

With Rey out of harm's way it was easy to remain rational and respectful. Answering the officer's questions as they came in a steady flow of surprisingly easy conversation. The officer, officer Darklighter asked Ben if he had been drinking or under the influence of any kind. Ben promptly told him no that he was just out to watch the double feature with his friends. Officer Darklighter, Biggs he finally asked Ben to call him inquired after the nature of Ben’s relationship with Vos and the girl in question. It was a strange thing to answer because ‘ _oh we’re just sleeping together_ ’ seemed too loose a response but what happened if Ben said Rey was his girlfriend and then she gave them some other answer? 

He settled on friends, then went on to explain how she was living with his uncle Luke and how they worked together. All things that would explain why he would feel the need to protect her. Biggs made an off-handed comment about how she was lucky to have a _friend_ like Ben and left it at that, driving the rest of the way to the police station with a smug sort of smile on his face. 

Officer Darklighter it turns out grew up with Luke and Leia. He used to play hockey with Luke before Luke went to play for team Canada in world juniors. He laughs freely and tells Ben what a pain in the ass Luke use to be but in the end, like everyone else Biggs is filled with fond memories of Luke Skywalker and his infinite kindness. 

It settles funny in Ben’s stomach to hear Luke spoken of with such esteem. It’s not just Biggs but Rey and Coach Antilles as well as most of Ben’s friends. They all see Luke as a sort of local hero who puts time into the community, a friend to all. It’s completely at odds with how Ben sees him which makes him start to wonder. Is it possible the animosity is misplaced? Is there something Ben is missing?

In total Ben spends about three hours in lock up before they finally let him out. Vos and Ben thankfully are placed in separate areas. While Ben gets the nice room with a view (locked bars are very modern chic) Vos gets put in what Ben can only assume with his limited knowledge is an interrogation room. Or maybe it’s just a plain old room but the idea of Vos sweating it out while the officers grill him brings Ben a weird sort of satisfaction.

He watches as Officers mill about running paperwork here or there. Even this late in the evening it seems the Alderaan Police department is a hub of activity. He sees Officer Darklighter a few more times; once when he brings Ben a large glass of water and a sugar covered doughnut. Again when he comes back to report that Ben’s friend is out front causing an awful ruckus. He laughs shaking his head as he passes on by muttering something about feisty omega before disappearing again leaving Ben to wonder what the hell Rey could be doing here. His first instinct is to text Poe and demand to know what the fuck he was thinking then Ben realizes that Biggs had confiscated his wallet and cellphone when he was put into the holding cell promising to get them back to him when everything is over. 

A door at the end of the hall opens and he can hear her yelling at someone, her scent spiked and angry. _Fierce little omega is right._ Ben thinks with some satisfaction as he watches a man in a finely pressed suit and a woman who looks to be about fifteen years his junior make their way towards the room where Dryden was being held. The man is an alpha, his scent rank and grotesque. The kind that lingers like acid on the tongue burning away everything else but it. He’s demanding to talk to the chief, yelling at the female officer who escorts them back into the room. There’s more yelling and then eery silence leaving Ben waiting with bated breath to see how all this is going to play out. 

Finally putting two and two together, the chilling realization that Ben might actually be in some trouble here starts to slowly set in. If Vos presses charges, which isn’t outside the realm of possibility, Ben could lose his place on the team for the year which would destroy his chances of getting a scholarship. Fuck. 

Shoulders hunched he rests his head in his hands and stares at the dirty dark grey of the concrete floor beneath his feet. He can hear his mother telling him he’d acted foolishly, he should have gotten an adult involved. He should have told someone, violence is never the answer… 

Ben’s so lost in his downward spiral of self-pity he doesn’t hear the door open again or see the office who approaches his cell, “What the hell did you do?” the voice carries with a soft accent that Ben knows far too well. Another small piece of information that Ben has forgotten all about. 

With great reluctance, Ben raises his head to look into the face of Coach, no _Captain_ Antilles. Ben had completely forgotten that their hockey coach just happened to be the Chief of Police and of course he’d be working the graveyard shift. 

“What did I tell you about getting into fights with Dryden Vos?” Antilles asks with a slow and easy drawl, like a father scolding him for leaving his bike out in the rain or forgetting to gas up the car. Antilles is a kind man, not overly large but incredibly imposing. He has a hard-worn face and a full head of white silver hair that he keeps neatly trimmed. His dark eyes, thick eyebrows and craggy features give him a gruff sort of look but there’s always been a glimmer of something there beneath the surface. A joy that stays hidden until it’s least expected. 

There’s humour in his face though he seems rather tired, his thumbs hooked into his Kevlar vest as he sets his feet into a wide stance, “Don’t get caught?” Ben offers lamely catching the _look_ from Antilles that tells Ben now is not the time nor the place to be cute. 

“You know full well he’s going to antagonize every chance he can get after you put him in the hospital last year.”

“Coach,” Ben huffs, “You know that wasn’t—“

“Doesn’t matter who’s fault it was Ben, you know he blames you. Why’d you have to go and beat his face in like that?”

Ben’s hand comes up to touch his bruised split lip, “Not like he didn’t get a few good licks in.”

The Chief's eyes grow cold, his posture still, “You’re damn lucky you know that? You could have gotten seriously injured tonight.” 

Shifting back against the cold metal bench Ben leans against the wall, “Awe common, I can handle Vos and Beckett is nothing but a pussy.”

“And their friends?” Antilles presses, his eyebrows raised as he sighs, “Ben that idiot had brass knuckles and a knife confiscated from him. What would you have done if he’d pulled a blade on you? You’re tough alright but you’re not invincible.” Lips pursed together he shakes his head, “You kids are going to kill me. Survive three tours overseas and this is how I’m going to go. Stress caused by _teenagers_.” 

Ben knew Coach had served but Antilles never talked about it much. He was tight-lipped about a lot of things that didn't involve hockey, golf, or fishing. He was always there for the team though, he listened, he _cared_. It was more than any of them ever really deserved for the shit they were constantly pulling. Wedge Antilles was the reason half of them managed to do anything with their lives outside of highschool. He worked with the guidance councillor at Aldera High to get some of his boys into O2 and trade programs. He kept those who wandered on the straight and narrow and was rumoured to have gotten a few out of some less than stellar situations. 

There wasn’t a single soul on their hockey team who didn’t adore and respect Coach Antilles and it was an appreciation that had been hard-won. “Sorry Coach,” And he is, there are few people in the world that Ben is actually afraid to let down and Wedge Antilles is one of them. 

Coach Antilles nods softly, a small smile playing at the corner of his mouth, “Rey seems ok, just so you know. She’s out there getting in Biggs’ face. You got one hell of a girl there.”

“Yeah,” and boy does Ben know it.

“Alright then,” clearing his throat Wedge prepares himself for the shift between coach to chief. He rolls his shoulders and checks his pockets, his hands pressing down every square inch of his duty belt before he turns towards the door behind which the Vos family waits, "Time to go put out this dumpster fire." The old man gripes, casting Ben a scathing look, "You should know they want to press charges." Ben swallows harshly as panic white and hot creeps down along his spine. He waits for the 'just kidding' that never comes because while Coach Antilles might joke about something like this, Police Chief Antilles clearly would never dare.

"Well what did you expect? His father is some big shot asshole lawyer. Already this whole thing is more paperwork then it's worth. You're lucky this time that they have a reason to drop it," Wedge seems to catch the curious quirk of Ben's brow as he shoots him a knowing grin, "You're lucky Dryden's an idiot," Ben tries not to react though he's pretty sure that's not something Coach is suppose to say, "Lord knows you're an idiot too but at least I know why you did what you did. Once I'm done with this circus I'll come and process you ok? I don't want them to see you gone and think you're getting off easy because you're not. I just want to make sure that's clear?"

"Crystal," Ben mutters.

"I'm sorry, I didn't quite hear that," Antilles cups his ear leaning towards the bars.

With a huff of agitation, Ben sits up straight and donning the most pleasant smile he can muster, "Crystal clear sir."

"Better." 

All in all, it's far more then Ben could ever have hoped for so he sits patiently and waits. He waits and he listens, he listens and he ponders. His mind drifts to Rey which at this point is no real shock. If Rey is here, which she clearly is does that mean Luke is here too or did Dameron take her in to the station when he was supposed to be seeing her safely home? Fuck he wishes he had his phone. Instead, he's left to with his thoughts and the cold barren walls because right, this isn't meant to be fun. He's being punished, he did something wrong. Why then is it hard for him to feel remorse for his actions?

Rey is safe and that is all that matters. Well, that and Ben isn't going to be spending the night in lock-up because he acted like an alpha prick. He can hear Rey scolding him, telling him he's an idiot, he could have gotten himself hurt, or hurt worse then he already is. Truthfully he'd do it all over again if it meant getting her out of that assholes grubby disgusting mits. The idea of his scent all over her makes his skin crawl. His alpha hindbrain screaming at him to rectify that situation at once. 

Suddenly Ben's hands are getting itchy and panic is starting to well up in his chest. He needs to see her. He needs to hold her, to know that she's ok. He's up and on his feet in a matter of seconds pacing his small cell like a wounded animal. Another alpha's scent is on her and that's all he can focus on. He tries with little success to find something else to occupy his mind. The bricks on the wall behind him, the patterns of the ceiling tiles. The flyers and posters on the wall beyond the bars, none of it seems to help. His mind is a chaotic mess of her and he just might kill Dameron if he brought her here. Not that Poe would have any say in the matter because if Rey wanted to come she would have found a way with or without him. 

His tenacious and brilliant little omega. Hands at his side twitch again as he starts to swing his arms as he walks. He just has to wait, just has to be patient but patience is a virtue that Ben Solo desperately lacks.

He has his forehead pressed against the cool metal bars when the screaming starts. It comes in a rumble like thunder erupting in a loud series of barks that Ben can almost make out from the other side of the room. There's slamming and a loud crash like fists hitting metal, maybe something falling over before, "I'll have your badge for this!" comes through the wall clear as a bell. Ben straights up, backing away from the bars as the door to the room where Chief Antilles went to meet Dryden and his parent's bursts open. "You can't tell me you aren't biased you coach the miscreant!" 

Ben assumes that Mr. Vos means him, "It may escape your notice but your son is the one going free while Mr. Solo is still sitting behind bars." The tone in Coach Antilles voice is smooth and calm, the same one he uses when he gets after Poe for mouthing off and inciting a riot on the ice. The one that says in no certain terms, ' _you're being an idiot, smarten the fuck up_ '. But Mr. Vos is out of the room like a tornado and heading towards Ben's cell. His eyes are dark, his brow furrowed, his hair so blonde that the red of his face makes it look almost pink.

"You!" he hollers with a sharp finger pointed in Ben's direction, "First you put my kid in the hospital and now this?" The female officer who led them into the room is putting herself between Dryden's father and Ben's cell, her hand up in warning. Ben can't hear what she's saying but whatever it is stops Mr. Vos in his tracks, "This isn't over," he threatens viciously, "Helena, Dryden, come on, we're leaving!"

With hurried footsteps Dryden exits the room, the younger woman on his heels, her hands bracketing his shoulders. He glares at Ben as he passes but his father barks at him to smarten up and leave it alone, he's caused enough trouble for one night. At least he's not getting off easy either.

When the Vos family is finally out of sight Ben releases a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. His chest feels like he's just run a marathon, heavy and hot and ready to explode. "I should leave you in there another couple of hours," Comes the tired voice of his Coach. He's standing in the doorway his fingers pinched over the bridge of his nose, "You're lucky I know you're a good kid. Chandler, you got the keys?"

Chandler, the female officer who'd been handling the Vos' is just closing the door, a look a pure agitation worn clear on her face. "You lose yours again Chief?" she asks with a friendly lilt digging around her duty belt for the jingling item that will set Ben free. 

"Didn't lose them, they're in my office." Ben gets the impression this might not be the case as Chandler rolls her eyes and proceeds to unlock Ben's cell. 

All in all, it takes about fifteen minutes to get Ben out. There are things to go over which Coach Antilles manages with a stubborn slowness that is clearly deliberate. His phone, wallet and whatever else had been taken from his pockets are returned to him in an oversized ziplock. Someone even did him the courtesy of slipping in a couple of condoms and a packet of sample lube, banana flavoured, gross, a butt plug and a silicone ring of some kind. A cock ring he realizes with some dismay. 

"Big plans tonight huh Ben?" Antilles chimes with an arched brow, the female officer, Chandler does her best to turn away at least as she snickers.

"Uh Sir, these aren't mine." Ben tries.

"That your wallet?"

"Well yes."

"That your phone?"

Ben nods, his throat dry. He's being punked there's no other explanation for it, only no one seems like they're going to believe him, "We don't judge," Chandler says with a smile before butting a handful of papers against the counter, "Gonna go file these Chief, you good?"

Antilles nods waving her off as Ben pockets the items. With a hand on Ben's shoulder Antilles leads him through to the open area at the front of the station. "You get some ice on that face," he tells Ben before giving him a harsh _twack_ on the back and promptly delivering him to his freedom. 

The fluorescent lights overhead flicker and dance, the sign of a bulb in need of replacing. It's warmer, more welcoming, the air fresher somehow in the front atrium, the smell of freshly brewed coffee and doughnuts lingering in the air. Doughnuts and that trickle of vanilla that tickles his hindbrain and perks up his mind in an instant. He scents her before he sees her but nothing could prepare him for what happens next. One minute she's sitting on a bench in front of a wide spaning window, lips drawn in a pout, hair messy, cheeks stained pink with dark lashes lining eyes that are as dark as coal. The next she's pressed against him in a flurry of movement. She's like a force of nature, her body colliding with his, arms wound around his torso as her cheek nuzzles against his chest. 

His first instinct is to tense up, arms raised to make space for her. She's muttering something about him being an idiot but the way she clings to him is sweet and strong. Her fingers claw at his back through his t-shirts as though she's afraid he might be taken from her again, "Idiot," he hears more clearly allowing himself to be wrapped up in all that is Rey. 

When he hugs her back her whole body seems to give into him, like she's been waiting for this moment all along. For him to tell her that it's ok, that it will be ok but he can't get the words out because all he can focus on is the desperation in her hug. Something that says more than words ever could, "Hey," he offers softly, his hand brushing through her hair, "It's ok, look I'm ok." 

But she does look, pulling back with a hushed sob. Her eyes are wet and seem to sparkle in the strange haunted lighting. The sight hits him like an arrow puncturing his resolve to be cool and calm, "You idiot," she bites out though there's no venom in her words. Her fingers are tracing the blossoming bruise that's coloring his cheek with a delicate sort of care that one might misconstrue as affection, "Oh Ben."

"You should see the other guy," He tries for cool humour and fails wonderfully causing Rey to groan as she pushes up on her tiptoes to nuzzle her nose against his unaffected cheek. This, this is most definitely affection and it's affection in public no less. It's confusing and wonderful all at the same time,

"Oh, we did," comes a smooth male voice Ben hadn't been expecting. His attention solely focused on Rey it was easy to ignore the older man sitting on the bench previously occupied by his affectionate (Because she's definitely being affectionate now) little omega. Luke, just shakes his head, watching in that smug knowing sort of way that Ben has come to expect from his uncle. His eyes are a bright but stormy blue as they peer intently at where Ben has managed to allow his hands to rest. It's not his fault his hands are abnormally large, his fingers curling around the arch of Rey's hips resting atop the curve of her backside. 

Luke takes to his feet with the grace and ease of someone who's had his knees bashed in with a sledgehammer. One of his legs sticks out rigid as he finally manages to get his feet underneath him with a hobbled limp. Weather must be coming, Luke never has this much trouble getting around unless there's some sort of system rolling in. They're likely due for rain. 

"Thanks for taking care of this Wedge,” Luke’s gruff voice calls, his gait a mess as he tries to get his footing, “It’s good to know you have this morons back.” The two men clap hands against forearms in a weird sort of shake. 

The back of Ben’s neck prickles with a need to respond to his uncle calling him a moron but it’s fleeting and weak because Rey is there and in his arms. She's in his arms and she’s holding on to him so tightly it makes Ben’s heart sing. “Stupid, stupid asshole,” she mutters but her voice has no bite, it’s sad and it’s happy and she smells like Rey, like sweet vanilla and cinnamon and home. She smells like home so he clings to her because he can and she’s letting him and it’s good.

He barely registers Luke’s voice, a low rumble as he mutters something like ‘ _gonna get these kids home now_ ,’ at least that’s what it sounds like before he and Wedge start making plans to go fishing in a couple of days. Wedge asks after Luke’s leg teasing him about being a barometer while Luke pats it and chuckles, “Better than the weatherman.” 

The walk to the car is strange and curious. Luke’s shuffled steps are hard to watch as he leans his hand onto his thigh for support. The vehicle isn’t parked far, Han’s suburban Ben notes upon approach and Rey hasn’t let go of him since she first wrapped her arms around him. Idly he wonders if that might mean something. They walk side by side, their arms slung around one another while Rey tries to bump her hip into his playfully. It makes them look like they’re practicing for a three-legged race but it’s light and it’s fun and it makes something shift in the centre of Ben’s chest. 

When Luke throws Ben the keys grumbling something about not wanting to drive on account of his leg he climbs into the back and shuts the door harshly. The noise makes Rey flinch before she’s pulling away but Ben isn’t ready for this to be over just yet. His hand slides down her arm before grasping her wrist and pulling her close. There’s a soft gasp and she’s standing there eyes lit up like the night sky. 

“Luke will see,” she tries breathily but her words lack conviction. The warning is lost, it sounds more like a plea. Like she needs for someone to finally know that this is happening, this is real because it is and it’s theirs whatever that means.

“I don’t fucking care,” Is all Ben can say before his lips swoop in and he’s kissing her. He can taste her tears and her joy and the shock on her tongue as the kiss lingers into something deep and sweet. Rey’s hand raises to cup his cheek causing Ben to flinch. Right, that whole thing. 

Pushing up on her toes she places a soft kiss on the tip of his nose and smiles as she gives his hand a soft squeeze. The heat of her mouth still lingers as they climb into the vehicle like she’s etched herself onto his skin. 

Ben pulls into Luke’s driveway instead of parking on the street without being asked. It’ll save Luke the extra walk and Ben at least owes him that much. The clock on the dash reads well after midnight, Ben really should be getting home but the double feature wouldn’t quite be over yet then there’s his face to try and explain. But Luke is climbing out and telling them both to join him inside. 

“Luke called your mom and said you were staying here for the night,” Rey explains with a small smile and a hand on Ben’s knee before she nods for him to follow. 

Reluctance tugs at his core but it’s drowned out by the magnetic pull that ties him to her. That push and pull that keeps him in her orbit. Inside that reluctance flairs to life again, it’s been years since Ben last stepped foot in his uncle's home. Everything is exactly as he remembers it only there are small pieces of Rey scattered all over Luke’s life now. Her sneakers on the mat or a book on the end table Ben is sure does not belong to Luke. She’s carved out a spot for herself and Luke has made room without question or fault. He’s allowed her space to grow and feel loved which at first is a little shocking. 

Then as Ben sees them together, actually sees them together, the casual way they move within on another orbits. The simple things like the passing of a glass or the sharing of a joke it becomes obvious just how much they may have needed one other.

Luke says something low to Rey who nods and tells him to go sit down handing Luke a bag of frozen peas as she starts to fiddle with the kettle. In a matter of minutes, she’s got three cups of tea made and Luke is tossing him the frozen bag with a gruff, “Sit, and put that on your face,” before he slides into the chair opposite of where Ben stands. 

His posture is strange, too relaxed, too comfortable for whatever this is. Luke’s bad leg is stuck out straight with his god awful crocks perched on his feet. Ben knows they’re easier for Luke to slip on and off. His right ankle is fused and swells horribly at times but that doesn’t make the sight of them any easier to bear. They’re hideous. “Thanks,” Ben tries for appreciation but it comes off more like confusion as he takes a seat and continues, “For— well for everything really.” 

There's a soft grunt from Luke who massages his thigh roughly and nods towards Ben. Less talk more ice on the face, it says and Ben is more than happy to comply. 

“Poe thought your mother would freak out,” There’s the soft glide of coffee mugs along the kitchen table as Rey takes a spot next to Ben. He can’t see her, his vision obscured as he drapes the cold bag against his eyes but he can feel her moving around him. Constantly aware of her scent and the space she occupies, “So he took me to Lukes.”

That would explain how Ben’s managed to find himself sitting in Luke’s kitchen, “Leia would shit bricks and Han would only antagonize,” Luke adds rapping his knuckles against the table, “That Dameron kid took her here because you told him to see her safe,” Ben nods, “That’s why you got into the fight,” Ben nods again. 

“I’m sorry Luke it’s all my fault,” Comes out of Rey’s mouth in a rush. Her tone is jagged and filled with panic causing Ben to drop his bag of peas and reach out for her. She’s worrying her hands along the hem of her sweater, his sweater because of course, she’s still wearing it. At this point, he would be astonished to not see her in something that bears his name or scent. He knows for a fact she’s taken a few of his t-shirts home after he’s worn them. Luke’s sure to have noticed this by now. 

Ben wants to, no, _needs_ to make this better. He needs to calm her. His fingers slip over her knee in a mirror of her action from the car. Like he’s not entirely sure where they now stand or how he’s supposed to or _allowed_ to act. 

Luke to his credit is all kind smiles and understanding as he continues to knead at the flesh of his thigh, “Rey, it’s ok,” the softness in Luke’s voice is astonishingly sweet making Ben suddenly very grateful for his uncle's infinite patience, “That Vos kid is a troublemaker and he’s had it out for Ben for ages. You smelling like Ben the way you do made you a target. _You_ did nothing wrong,” 

It’s hard to say which realization hits harder. The fact that the assault on Rey’s person is clearly all Ben’s vault or the fact that Luke just called the pair of them out for… well, what he’s calling them out for Ben’s not entirely sure but the implication is there. There are many ways to end up smelling like another person but very few to make the scent so strong and lasting. 

“Oh, don’t look at me like that, you think I don’t know you’ve been sneaking out?”

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. 

Ben’s blood runs cold as he scrambles for some sort of reason that might make this all his fault. To take the blame from Rey’s shoulders but Luke doesn’t seem mad. Quite the contrary he seems thoroughly amused, “Don’t get me wrong, I was pretty pissed off when it all started happening but then you were wearing Ben’s clothes and I could smell him all over you.” Ben balks, “Oh, you thought you were being sneaky?” Luke chuckles, “Not so much there pal, I don’t need nor _want_ details but just tell me you’re being..." Luke pauses looking pained as he says, "safe?”

They both nod and Luke laughs, “Does my sister know?”

“Yes,” Ben offers softly. Rey’s cheeks turning an innocent shade of pink at that particular memory.

“Well, then I imagine she’s already given you both the talk. Nothing I can say or do to you both could be anywhere as horrific as that must have been so I’ll just say this. Be wise, be safe, be respectful and mind your designations. You aren’t two beta kids fooling around. It’s not fair but it’s the way things are. You both are too smart to wind up parents just out of high school.”

Ben fumbles with the bag and drops it in his lap. Everyone keeps talking about what will happen if something happens and maybe he hadn’t been taking it seriously enough. Did Rey think about it? Was it something they should actually talk about? 

That was the kind of thing people did when they were in relationships though, is that what this is? 

Luke’s shifting pulls Ben from his thoughts as Rey reaches out to take the bag of peas and holds them against his lip. Their teas sit on the table untouched, the steam wafting in the air a delicious blend of camomile and something sweetly floral, “I’m tired so I’m going to go to bed,” he tells them, pushing himself up off the arms of his chair until his feet are secure beneath him, “Ben, you can stay in Rey’s room instead of on the couch just no funny business tonight please?” 

Ben nods dumbly watching as Luke makes his way to the end of the table, leaning against the flat surface casually, “I’m proud of you kid,” there’s this strange sort of smile that liners at the edge of Luke’s mouth, one Ben hasn’t seen since he was a child. “Just don’t mess this all up by knocking her up, please? We’ll figure out what to tell your mom about your face in the morning.” 

As Luke lumbers off Ben turns to look at Rey. She’s leaning against the table holding the cool compress to his mouth but there’s something different about her now. Her hard edges are gone, the ones that Ben has become achingly familiar with. Her mouth is pulled in a gentle slope, a smile that’s not quite as she moves to inspect his face, “That looks like it hurts,” She says with a certain level of sorrow, “I’m so sorry.” there’s a soft tremble in her voice edged with unshed tears. The kind that hide beneath the glassy surface of her eyes ready and waiting to fall, “I didn’t know what to do. I was afraid if someone came back they would know what we’d done and I was—“ she looks to the floor, “He caught me throwing away my underwear Ben,” her voice a low and embarrassed whisper, “Do you know how mortifying that was?” 

All he wants to do is reach out and hold her but she has him frozen in place. Her pressure on his cheek mixed with the cold feels wonderful but the touch does something to still him as well, “I’m sorry.” He tries but she’s shaking her head, sliding to the edge of her chair so their legs just barely touch. 

“What are we doing?” The question hits him like a head-on collision, the kind you don’t see coming, the kind you might not walk away from. For a minute Ben isn’t sure he can chance to look at her, afraid of whatever might be written on her face. The tone in her voice does nothing to relay her mindset. Instead, it leaves the hollow question because what _is_ it they’re doing?

It’s more than just sex, he’s sure she must know that by now, “What—“ He swallows harshly gathering the courage needed for the question he’s been dying to ask all summer, “What do you want?”

A soft gasp and her hand trembles, the peas are set on the table with a soft sort of rustle but her fingers are there on his lip tentative and sweet. “I—“ it hurts him the way her voice hitches, the way she ponders and deliberates, “I—“ if only she knew she had the power to end him right here and now clutched softly within her little fingers, “You,” comes her final answer by way of an exhaled breath, “And it’s so confusing Ben. So so confusing.”

Without hesitation he has her pulled flush against him, her rear end nestled on his lap so her legs drape over side-saddle, “Hey, hey, hey.” he soothes, his hands on her neck, on her shoulders, across her cheek, “It’s ok.” he hushes a sob as she curls into his neck, the warmth of her tears soaking the collar of his shirt, “It’s ok.” 

“I’ve been so mean to you—“

“I let it happen—“

“You’ve been so—“

“—Rey it’s ok really.”

“I can’t stay away from you and I don’t know what I’m doing but there’s this emptiness in my chest whenever I’m not around you. I miss you. I steal your fucking clothes and wear them until your scent is gone and then I trade them for others like some sort of creep.”

Ben chuckles, rubbing slow circles into her low back, his hands slipping beneath the thick material of his sweater. He needs to feel her, that connection, that hot skin on skin. He needs whatever she’s willing to grant him because this, right here right now is the tipping point. He knows without a question in his mind the minute they exit this little bubble they’ve managed to surround themselves in their relationship, whatever it is will be forever changed, “I’ve known what you’ve been up to for weeks now.” 

Her sobs mix with laughter, warm breath ghosting against his neck, “Why didn’t you say anything,” It sounds like an accusation, as though _he’s_ the one who has something to answer for. 

The answer is simple really, “I like that you want to smell like me. I figured if you were stealing my dirty clothes that had to mean whatever this is is more then just fucking around. It—“

“Filthy Alpha,” she quips, her head on his shoulder as he gives her a squeeze.

“Sneaky little Omega,” the praise makes her purr as they sit in the silence wrapped in a warm blanket of emotional security, “What does this mean?” All at once it feels like someone is standing on his chest. He waits while her hands trace the swollen swell of his lip. It’s gentle and careful and done with such care that it makes Ben shudder. All at once he needs the answer but doesn’t ever want to hear it spoken aloud. 

“I don’t know.” And it’s not enough. Not now, not after everything. There’s one last card to play, one last thing he has before this thing implodes. 

“I—“ the words are there in his throat but they come out dry as sand as he swallows hard and steels himself for this because this is the moment, this is it right here, “Rey, I need you to know that I—“

“—I like you!” It comes out in a rush as Rey bolts up in his lap. Her forehead collides with the swollen apple of his cheek making the sting vibrate deep into his face, "Like... like you like you. I'm... I'm in like with you. I might more than like you, I mean, I could, I think. I don't know because I've never... another person... but..." But it doesn’t matter, it might never matter because those three little words are bouncing around in his head like a toddler hopped up on pixie sticks. She’s babbling now, trying to explain her position, why she feels this way and how she knows she’s been horrible to him. It’s all pretty and poetic but it doesn't matter. Nothing matters as long as she's telling the truth.

She’s pacing the floor in front of him the he grabs her and pulls her to stand between his spread knees, “Don’t fuck with me right now Rey,” the soft whimper that escapes her makes heat pool in his belly, “I can handle the fighting and the flipping me off but you can’t be cruel, not now.” his words fall hushed and warm across her chest as he nuzzles his nose between her breasts, “Please… please don’t be cruel.” 

Light fingers scrape along his scalp as she passes her fingers through his hair in slow and easy swipes, “No, I promise,” she offers him sweetly, “I... I might more than like you but you need to give me time?” She kisses the crown of his head, “I’ve never felt like this ever before. This thrill, this sweet agony whenever I’m around you. I itch to touch you, to feel you everywhere. All over my skin,” her breath hitches, “Inside me.” 

“That’s not necessarily... _like_ ,” Ben supplies weakly, chasing the knowledge, needing more, greedily begging for scraps. 

“No, I know. I mean, it’s more than just that Ben. It’s the way you make me feel safe like I belong to something. Like I want to belong to something. Your family sure but more than just that. I don’t feel whole unless you’re near me. Like my body doesn’t know how to function properly unless you’re somewhere close by and when you are I feel this tug, like we don’t need to be touching but I just need to know if I needed to I could reach out and you’d be there.”

“I’m right here… you’re not alone Rey,”

He can hear the smile in her voice when she says, “Neither are you,” and she’s tilting his head back to capture his lips. It’s that barely-there pressure that builds up to a kiss, the featherlight caress as her mouth shifts and angles and she’s deepening their embrace. Her touch is careful and still, her tongue darting out to lap against the split edge of his mouth where Vos must have clipped him with the brass knuckles. She pulls back to ask, “Is this ok?” and he nods, chasing her mouth until it’s firmly back against his own. 

They sit there for what could be minutes, maybe hours just kissing and touching. Not the heavy petting of horny teenagers but the kind of slow and easy touching that happens when mapping a lover's body. They touch like it’s the first time touching. Like every slide of palm across flesh is purposeful and met with appreciation and awe. Rey shifts so she’s straddling Ben’s thighs and runs her fingers along the corded muscles of his neck and down along sharp clavicles. He’s never considered himself an overly attractive human being, all strange angles and curves but he knows he has a nice body. He’s worked hard at it, even in the peak of summer when his definition is rounded out.

The way Rey’s hands move with such reverence though it makes him feel like a work of art. From the curious way her index finger runs along the slope of his nose before kissing it, to the way her palms move flat and smooth across his chest. She works him into putty beneath her hands before moulding him into the image of a greater man. A stronger man. A man worthy of her love. Because she could love him. She told him as much. Not in those exact words but in the feeling behind them. In the way they both feel for one another with such intensity it should be terrifying and it is, but it isn't all at the same time because it simply just seems to make sense. As though it was all building up to this point.

Rey shifts in his lap, cupping his face, her lips kiss swollen and damp where Ben has just spent minutes worshiping them, "Uh Ben?" her voice is soft and dreamy as she askes, "What's in your pocket?"

It takes him a moment to figure out what exactly she's asking, going over in his head the list of items he has shoved into the meagre space allowed but his board shorts pockets. Then hit his him and he groans pressing his mouth against her shoulder mumbling, "You don't want to know," against the dark fabric. 

"Oh, I kind of do," she sing-songs, pressing her cheek against his temple her body vibrating through a giggle. She knows, he realizes with some trepidation. The little minx knows exactly what's in his pocket, the question is how?

"You!" he accuses.

"Poe actually, your coach is an interesting fellow." Ben doesn't miss the sheepish way she relays that piece of information making him wonder if she might have gotten into Coach Antilles face a little while sitting in the atrium of the police station. 

It's hard to think with Rey's fingers tangled in his hair but Ben won't be distracted, "Do I even want to know where Poe got the buttplug?"

"The what?"

Now it's his turn to chuckle, pressing his nose into the crook of her neck. She smells strong here, making his mouth water his lips moving against her skin in soft open-mouthed kisses, "You didn't know?" he practically purrs, "It was one of the things they confiscated from me apparently." Large hands slide down over the swell of her ass pulling until they're pressed tightly together. He can feel the heat radiating off her as he rocks her hips just so allowing for an innocent friction to build up. "Was it maybe a hint, something you wanted to try?" It starts as a joke but builds into a wonder. It's only been something they're skirted around. A finger prodding here of there with no real commitment but maybe...

The soft moan that slips from Rey's throat is deliciously smooth, "Maybe it's for you," she says with a grin angling her hips just so, "maybe I want to fill your ass while you fuck my mouth and come all down my throat Ben Solo."

Were she any other female Ben would be horrified at the notion, he'd always kind of shied away from that sort of thing. Although he was friends with Dameron and has listened to his fair share of stories Ben has always figured that sort of thing just wasn't for him. Why would he need to stick something in his ass when sex without was perfectly enjoyable. Then he met Rey and the normal P in V sex that Ben had always felt was sort of _it_ became boring when compared with all the different ways they learned to bring one another pleasure without adhering to the basic format. Poe would be so proud. 

"Is that something... you want?" he asks with a whisper feeling the way she freezes against him. Her wrists drag across his neck slowly and easy pushing their scents together as she thinks. He thought it a simple enough question but then again, nothing about their relationship thus far could be considered simple. "Rey," he pushes.

"What if I said yes?" He knows she can feel what the question does to him the way his cock pulses at the thought. The thrill of something new, something scary but exciting erupting like sparks beneath his skin. She's hesitant, leaning in for a kiss only to linger with her mouth hovering over his own.

"Then we talk about it," Ben states simply, he doesn't tell her he'd do anything for her, that's a secret he'll keep, one he'll hold close to his heart until the time comes that they're ready to share the other L word. The one that he knows he feels but is too afraid to say, "But know this little one," his voice a dark rumble laced with a promise, lips on her neck "I will want to return the favor."

Her shudder threatens to undo him, a soft, "Alpha." on her lips pushing him to bite down on her shoulder. He's tugging the sweater to the side, his teeth sinking into the soft flesh he's exposed. Being around her does this to him, makes him feel wild and unhinged like there's too much energy in his body and he's liable to explode. He never knows what to do with himself because he wants to do everything. To feel and make _her_ feel so he does what instinct drives him to do. He bites and she keens and he licks at the area marred by the marks left from his teeth. 

Fuck, he wants her, needs her even. The feel of her body pressed against his fully clothed is a torturous tease, "You disappeared before I could make you come tonight," he says, his voice rich with desire, "I want to taste that sweet pussy of yours Rey." A kiss, a nip and he's working his way up her neck, "I want to fuck you with my fingers with that sweet little ass plugged." She gasps and groans grinding down against him and she's still not wearing underwear he realizes with delight, "I want to feel you clamp down on my fingers when you finally let go, hear my name on your lips. I dream about the way you taste sometimes and when I wake up it's like you're still there on my tongue. I have to jerk off otherwise I'd be useless the rest of the day but even then it doesn't always help." 

"Yeah?" Tell me more she seems to silently beg, his hands massaging the round of her arse as she pushes against him. 

Ben nods dragging his teeth along the cord of muscle popping out along the side of her neck, "Did you know you taste sweet? I pray every time I put my mouth on that beautiful cunt of yours that you'll gush just for me. I could spend hours licking you clean just so I could-"

"Ok, guys I can hear you. Please just save it for another night so I can get earplugs or something?" Luke's voice calls through the night air snapping like a bucket of cold water poured down Ben's spine. Rey giggles, burning her face in his shoulder as she throws her arms around Ben's neck and squeezes. 

"Sorry, Uncle Luke!." He can hear Luke grumbling something about hormones and teenagers and too old for this making Ben's cheeks flush, "We should go to bed."

Rey nods as she slips off his lap holding her hand out so she can pull him to his feet. He follows like a shadow, looming over her until he can't help but wrap his arms around her again. They walk in a shuffled sort of waddle until she pulls him into her bedroom and closes the door with a soft click. Luke's guest room has been transformed into something unrecognizable. There are pictures in frames all over one wall and canvases painted in bright brilliant colors. The bed is the same, an old iron frame that Ben knows will creak the minute they lay down. Her desk is littered with books and scraps of paper filled with delicate yet messy handwriting. Pieces of her soul scattered all around for him to take in with awe and wonder. He's had her in so very many ways now and still, this feels like the most intimate thing he's ever experienced. 

Rey, raw and beautiful and his. Not that he ever dreamed of owning a soul but in his heart, he knows she is his as much as he is hers and that is the most terrifying revelation of Ben Solo's young life. That this is what love actually feels like. Not the pawing and touching of bodies desperate for release but the quiet moments when their skin touches and her words whisper through his heart. 

He takes his time, pulling her clothes off piece by piece with practiced slowness. His lips pressing promises against her flesh as his fingertips trail featherlight in their wake. When he finally has her bare he kisses her, every inch he can find before pulling one of his old shirts over her head and adjusting her hair so that it tumbles around her shoulders in a cascade of chestnut. As much as he wants her because how could he not? He simply rids himself of his shorts and crawls into bed in his underwear and t-shirt, pulling her close so that he can breathe her in and know she is there. 

That night, tangled up in one another in Rey's twin bed, Ben has the best sleep he's had in ages. In the morning with the rays of daylight slipping through the cracks in the blinds he finds himself expecting to feel the warm space at his side empty as it always is after a night spent together. Only this time, there's a hand clutching the collar of his t-shirt and a thigh between his knees. The scent of her was thick and sweet on his tongue as her breath fell in soft pants against his chin. She's there. She's there and she's his and Ben’s heart has never felt so full. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THERE, yeah? maybe? I dunno... but they're happy.  
> Don't worry this doesn't mean the teenage angst is over, it's just evolving. I HAVE PLANS hahaha 
> 
> Come say hello on [The Twitter](https://twitter.com/rebelscumreylo) if I've done something stupid please feel free to come tell me that as well. I love hearing from people even if its to tell me my grammar is shit.


	12. Well he lost control and gave up his heart.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I—“
> 
> “You’re angry”
> 
> “Christ sakes Han let the kid have a chance to try and get his thoughts together.”
> 
> Han glowers at his friend before huffing, “Fine,” and then pointing a finger at Ben, “But if you hit me again so help me god Ben I will put you out. Now, you what?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a little shorter but the next one is long and smutty... and uhh chapter count went up.. so... there's that.   
> Also, the comments on the last chapter gave me LIFE you have no idea. You're all so freaking amazing!   
> Thank YOUUUUUU

It turns out there was no need to come up with an excuse as to why Ben’s face was seven shades of black and blue because his mother knows nearly all of the details by the time Ben gets home. Luke, god love him was kind enough to follow over with Rey in his old pick up to make sure Ben wasn’t completely at his mother's mercy which ultimately ended up in a family showdown.

Apparently Amaya Vos had called the house shortly after leaving the Police Station that night determined to set things to rights. She painted a pretty ugly picture, her son with a broken nose and how she hated to see him in pain. Ben the aggressor wanting to settle what had been started on the ice…

Thankfully Leia was no fool and while she was boiling over with the need to tear someone a new asshole she waited until all the facts were presented before starting in on her tirade. Luke surprisingly got the worst of it. Ben managed to land himself a grounding for the first time since he was a preteen and was under strict instruction that he was to go to work and come straight home with no deviations. Still, he and Rey managed to sneak in their time together.

She likes him. She likes him. She might even love him. His heart sings the words as his mind swims in her scent. She wants him and she’s his and he's hers nothing else in the world matters.

Only summer is short-lived and as August rolls to a close Ben finds himself faced with another daunting range of problems. The end of summer means the beginning of their grad year. It means grad activities and college applications. It means endless hours of hockey practice and the beginning of so many little things that Ben had once been excited for. Now it stands the one thing that might burst his happy little bubble. He’d never thought he’d be that guy, the one who changed all his life plans for a pretty pair of legs but there she was. Legs to die for, legs he loved to have wrapped around his ears as she shuddered and moaned and saturated his face in her slick. There she was this bright light that felt like home and made his soul calm for the first time since he’d presented. This fierce little omega who made him feel things he'd never dreamed were possible.

He'd always made fun of Gabriel and his need to forever keep Tallie happy but Ben sort of kind of gets it. Rey isn't nearly as demanding or neurotic but he understands the need to provide anything and everything like a good alpha should. It never mattered before, it was just an increased surge of testosterone and genetics that made him a little bigger than the other kids. Only now he realizes it's more than that. It means something beyond being big and fucking like an animal. It's the need to protect and provide. It's the feeling that there is someone out there more important than the air in his lungs. It's fucking terrifying. 

It's strange the way her scent soothes him, like nothing could ever be wrong so long as she's nearby. He doesn’t want to ask about college or after high school because it scares the shit out of him to think that he might be gearing up to invest a whole year of his life to a girl only to lose her because their aspirations in life are different. A dark part of his mind, the alpha that rumbles its displeasure at not feeling her cunt warm and hot on his knot whispers horrible things about mating her to him. Bonding them so that he will never ever lose her. Only deep down Ben knows to do so without her consent is the one way he will most definitely lose her.

Those thoughts are usually accompanied by fantasies of Rey swollen and full of his child. Desperate yearnings to bypass the implant and feed her his seed until she gives him beautiful babies with her eyes and mouth and gloriously freckled skin. School seems so pointless if it means she isn't with him. Crawling into his bed in the middle of the night seeking out his warmth, winding her arms around him until they look more mythical creature than human bodies. He needs her and it scares the ever-loving piss out of him. 

The warnings issued by his mother and uncle turn into fuel which flames his desires and pulls him into a dark pit of yearning. Contraceptives fail all the time, particularly when alpha and omega pairs were concerned. It's a fact. Ben even found himself doing research on the concept before slamming his laptop shut and going for a run.  
  
Never in his life has he hated his designation so very much. It makes him wild and unstable and the further he falls into it the more her scent makes him want things he has no right to want. Their time together becomes tainted by his growing need to push her into the sheets and take her. Fuck her and fill her and bite that glorious little patch of skin on the base of her neck until he breaks the skin and she is his. He starts digging around on Reddit looking for teenagers who have mated or people who have mated as teens. All roads lead to early pregnancies and tales of people who hate that they regret their kids. Not that they don't love them, it always says it's just they wish they'd waited a little longer.   
  
He asks what it feels like, feeling an omega's skin breaking beneath their teeth and the answers are so varied that the question seems pointless. He's never going to know until he does it himself but he can't, he shouldn't. 

She would hate him for it, taking that choice from her and he knows that. Rationally he's very aware of the damage he would cause by such reckless actions. But the more she scents him, the more he takes and tastes and feeds off her sweet little cunt the more he finds himself wondering if it might just be worth it. Rey would come around, only she wouldn’t. She would hate him with every ounce of her being until her very last breath. 

They're too young for babies, just babies themselves and yet still that voice purrs like a wolf among sheep. It plays tricks on his mind and fools him into thinking about what could all be his if only he were to man up. 

When he’s told about the party at Hux’s parents' summer cottage he knows right away it’s a bad idea. It’s all anyone can talk about for the week preceding the event. Even Rey has expressed her elation. She’s never been to the beach before which in and of itself seems a crime against nature. She’s not a fan of sand but she’s looking forward to spending time with Ben. The thought of Rey in her bikini, soaking wet and needing him nearly sends Ben into cardiac arrest. He drops her off at Luke’s without their usual after-work dawdling and Ben heads home to clear his head. The scent of her disappointment jammed up his nose.

She’d been wearing leggings today which admittedly was not new but today they seemed to hug every last aspect of her body like they were painted on her skin. He’d been fighting an erection all day which was doubly disastrous considering the number of children that showed up for the sports camp. The last thing he needed was a parent expressing concerns about Ben’s intentions. 

Pulling into the driveway Ben hears the metal clanging and deep voices of two men elbow-deep in a project that will never ever be finished. Sure enough, Han has the garage door open and his newest pet project stripped to its bones. It’s an old Ducati Silencer, the bike Han told Ben under no circumstances would he ever let his son ride it. Its panelling is worn and lying across the floor while Han’s friend Chewie cleans the bolts and restraints. Chewie is a large man with hands the size of dinner plates. When Ben had been younger and read through Harry Potter, he often pictured Hagrid to look a little like Charlie Bachman. He's bearded and broad with kind eyes and a smile as big as his feet. Which were also pretty large. 

Chewie spots Ben first, waving him over from his spot perched upon an overturned bucket. His knees are bent at an awkward angle but it gives him better access to the bike parts sitting on the floor, “Little Benny!” Chewie calls out, his voice a deep rumble that reminds Ben a little of thunder in the distance, “Haven’t seen you all summer. Hows the job? You keeping out of tro—“ Chewie stops and then sniffs, “You ok kid?” 

Han is a little less obvious about his observation, shifting to his feet while he rubs the grease from his hands onto work pants before hitting the button for the garage door opener. The motor rumbles to life sliding the heavy metal door closed with a bang effectively shutting Ben in the room with his father and pseudo uncle. In the enclosed space it becomes abundantly clear what has them alarmed. Ben can scent himself and… fuck has he been like this all day? Is that why Rey had been surreptitiously rubbing her wrists against his neck and stroking his wrist whenever she could? 

“Kid,” Han tries, hands on his hips as he blows a steady breath through his teeth, “What do you need?” 

“Need?”

“Yeah… you know… “ Han flounders, he’s no good at this sort of thing. The talking about biology and sex. He’s more a here’s a sex toy, don’t punch me again and make sure you do your laundry after you’ve spent the week fucking yourself,kind of dad, “What do you _need_?” Like it makes no more sense the second time.

“Benny,” Chewie’s turn, “You, uh you need to talk about something?”

“Yeah, yeah kid, we’re here for you. Is it… is it alpha stuff?” 

A heat crawls along Ben’s spine, not the kind he’s used to when Rey has her tongue lingering along the shell of his ear. No, this one is different. It makes him sweat. His hairline saturated as it creeps up along his neck and erupts across his forehead leaving him flushed and uncomfortable. “Jesus Dad, I’m not having this talk again.”

Han looks like he’s struggling to find something to say. His lips working against silence before he settles on a hard glare and something that looks an awful lot like determination, “Now you listen, kid,” shit, “We’ve been pretty lenient with your shenanigans all summer. First, you get caught… well… you got _caught,_ " Chewie doesn't even bother to hide his chuckle, great he knows about that little incident too, "Then you start sneaking Rey in at night thinking we won’t notice. Oh don’t give me that look we aren’t stupid. You think we can't smell her all over you? _Then_ you get into a fight with that Vos kid and now… you well I don’t know what this is but I suggest you spill it real quick because you, me and Chewie aren’t going anywhere until you do.”

Chewie just shrugs his mammoth-like shoulders tossing a lug nut on the ground back into a pile with its friends, “You kind of smell like you’re close to snapping kid.” 

And ohhhhh how on the mark that observation is but that doesn’t make talking about it any easier, “I’m not—“ how does he even start this conversation?

But his father laugh interrupts Ben’s mental spiral, “You think we haven’t been through it ourselves? You either talk to us or you talk to your mother, your choice but I won’t save you from whatever she might drum up. You get our experience or her textbook knowledge. Choose wisely.”

That’s when Ben hollers. He kicks at an old bucked filled with scrap parts that’s too heavy to fall over but not quite heavy enough to satisfy his need for an impact. This feeling is hot and desperate and it claws at him from deep inside telling him to fight them. To kick and punch and scream until he’s the only one standing. Only Chewie would have him put down in an instant and Han would make him pay dearly for the disrespect. He can’t run away, won’t have this conversation with his mother. Really he could do a lot worse than a couple of mated alphas with a boatload of experience between them.

“I—“  
  
“You’re angry”

“Christ sakes Han let the kid have a chance to try and get his thoughts together.” 

Han glowers at his friend before huffing, “Fine,” and then pointing a finger at Ben, “But if you hit me again so help me god Ben I will put you out. Now, you what?”

With a whine, Ben launches into it. The itch beneath his skin that's there but not quite, the torrent of desires and embarrassing thought’s he's found himself having. The need he has for… more. How he hasn’t, how _they_ haven’t but he’s afraid if they do he might do something reckless like bite her or _worse_. He tells the older two alpha’s about imagining Rey pregnant and needy and how that thought makes him throb with a need so fierce he’s worried about what that might mean. He laments his concern for these feelings. How he wants to respect her, he does but he also wants to pin her down and fuck her until her belly is swollen with his spend and he’s sure that it’s taken. How he wonders about how her scent might change if he were to get her pregnant. 

How school seems pointless and all he wants is a life with her filled with babies. Their babies and how badly he finds himself wanting _that_ future instead of applying for colleges or getting himself a degree of some kind. 

By the end, he's crying or screaming or maybe he’s doing both because he used to know what he wanted from life. He wanted to get out of this town and see the world, have new experiences and get an education He can’t even remember what it was he wanted to take he’s lost in it so hard and when the reality has set in that he’s actually verbalize all these things out loud and to his father, no less Ben suddenly wants to crawl in a hole and die. 

It’s hard not to miss the look Han and Chewie share, mostly because Ben hasn’t been able to stop watching them due in part to the sheer mortification of his actions, “Ben,” Han’s voice is soft, paternal even as his brow raises and he huffs out a sigh, “When was the last time you went into a rut?”

“A month before school ended,” Ben mumbles surprised his father could forget such an event. It’s not every day you have to wrestle your naked and nearly feral son to the ground. 

“Might be a soft rut maybe?” Chewie tries, looking more at Han then at Ben, “Stress-induced. It happens. When Malla got pregnant so soon after high school,” wait, what? Ben has never heard this before, “It sent me into a rut which is was what got us into that situation, to begin with. Let me tell you, it wasn’t pretty.” 

“You and Malla had Lumpy that young?” Ben asks in a small voice. 

Chewie laughs rubbing his big paw of a hand on the back of his neck before pulling his mane of hair up into a messy bun that makes Ben think of Rey, “Yeah, don’t go thinking that was me telling you getting your girl pregnant is a good idea. It was the cards we were dealt. I wouldn’t change it don’t get me wrong. Warru is the greatest gift I could ever have been given but I still wonder about it don’t I? What life would have been for Malla and me if we’d gotten to experience things first. Maybe we’d love each other more, maybe we’d love each other less. Maybe we wouldn’t even be together and that thought is scary as shit.” Pushing himself up onto his feet Chewie gives his body a good long stretch before approaching Ben, “It was different then though. You could do a lot more with a lot less. The wanting a kid thing is biology Ben. Alpha’s are designed to need to protect and procreate but we’ve come so far beyond that that you have a choice now. Exercise it. Go to school. Get an education. You want to be stuck working in your dad's garage your whole life?”

“Do you know how rare it is to meet your mate this young Ben?” Han offers not unkindly. 

“Sometimes you do—“  
  
“And what if I did?” Ben and Chewie say at the same time. 

Han seems to take a moment to consider, watching his son and best friend carefully, “Than you’ll know after you’ve spent time together and if I’m being honest, time apart.” 

The idea of spending time away from Rey in any capacity makes Ben’s stomach start to squeeze and his breathing fall short. He’s never felt anything quite like this before, this intense feeling he cannot describe, is it fear? Anxiety maybe? 

“Here’s the thing kid. How are you going to know if what you’re feeling is a true mates connection and not some hormonal influx of teenage… hormones,” Chewie gives Han a lot as if to say ‘ _really_?’ “I said what I said, Chewie back me up here.”

Instead, Chewie throws his hands in the air “No leg to stand on here, I mated Malla young, you know that.” 

“Right, right,” Han chuckles, “Prom night, how could I forget _that_ one… don’t you getting any ideas, Ben. You’ll send your mother to an early grave. I'm not saying Rey isn’t the one for you. Maybe she is and maybe she isn’t but all this talk is speculative because you need to talk to her about it all. Especially if the stress is sending you into this state.” Waving his hand around Han pauses before pulling Ben into an awkward sort of hug. That father-son moment where neither is quite sure what it is they’re supposed to do next. 

Ben holds out for a second, standing there awkwardly before returning the embrace. A soft grunt at his back and Chewie has him pinned, the three men standing in a huddle, arms wrapped around each other. The pressure feels good, calming even. Taking the edge of Ben’s need for violent release.

“There are emergency blockers in the bathroom cabinet,” Han says when he finally pulls away. Chewie, on the other hand, has his arms wound around Ben’s shoulders pinning him to the large man’s chest, “Go take a shower, take a blocker and if you need it we’ll get you into the doctor before school starts.” 

"Wh-" He starts and then looks at his feet after putting some space between him and Chewie, "what's it like?"

"What's what like?" Han asks but it's Chewie who gives Ben the knowing and soft smile. 

"Being mated you mean?" Ben nods, eyes trained on the way he's tied his shoelaces, tracing the worn white laces that have been doubled knotted because Ben hates having to bend and tie his shoes repeatedly, "It's intense I suppose but it's not at the same time. I was so young I didn't know what the hell I was doing. Your Dad tried to talk me out of it but I had my mind made up."

"And there is no changing this idiots mind once it's set on something," Han chimes in, "It's different for everyone Ben, no two relationships are a like because no two people are a like."

"For me with Malla, it was like stepping into a warm bath and knowing just knowing. There's a lot involved, chemicals and hormones and the like I never really understood all of that but I could feel her scent change. Like I could feel my scent merge with hers and suddenly for just a second, it was like we were one person. Your mom would kill me for saying this but I'm no saint, I've dabbled in party drugs a little and nothing in my life has ever compared to it." 

"You idiot," Ben watches his father hit Chewie with a rag which the bigger man snatches up and wipes his hands on pointedly, "It was like fireworks for your mom and me. I won't go into details because there are some things you do not need to know but I'll tell you. At first, I thought she'd hit me. My ears were ringing and yeah, ok I felt a little high but then I knew, I just knew that she was it. Which is saying something."

Chewie's laugh echoes off the walls, his head thrown back, "Yeah, saying something is right. I've never seen two people fight and make up the way you two did." A thoughtful pause and Chewie adds, "Do."

"I can't help it, it's easy to get under the Princess' skin. Best kind of foreplay there is my friend," for a second Ben thinks his father might have forgotten he was standing there. There's no way he would admit to something so private about his parent's relationship as that. But, then Han turns on him, a wry smile on his lips, "You know what that's like hey Benny?" 

For a moment Ben isn't entirely sure what he should say or do, all his body seems capable of is standing there looking stunned, "Don't embarrass the boy-"  
  
"Chewie you should see these two together! Luke said it's worse then Leia and me ever were."   
  
Suddenly it becomes disturbingly clear that while Ben thought they'd been successfully sneaking around all summer everyone in his family well aware what they were up to, "Ho-" he tries but his father is laughing, Chewie shaking his head, "Why did you let it go on if you've known about it this whole time?"  
  
"Because we trust you kid. We gave you the warning, we told you what could happen. You went ahead and did it anyway so we assumed you were ok with the risk. I'm shocked and I'll admit it a little impressed that you've managed this whole summer without," Han huffs, his ears pink, cheeks puffed out as he stumbles on how exactly to phrase it. 

"Without sticking your dick in her." Chewie offers, making both Solo's sputter, "What? I mean, good on you kid. That's some serious self-control."

"Not really," Ben mutters, "I feel like I lose control when I'm around her."

"You bite her yet?" Chewie asks.

"No."  
  
"You make her do anything she doesn't want to do?"

"What? No of course not!" The mere idea of it makes Ben's skin crawl. 

"Well..." 

"Kid, cut yourself some slack. Please. Just trust us ok. You're doing good. You're a good kid. Stupid sometimes but that's part of being a teenager."   
  
"Yeah, besides. Look at your dad, he's still pretty stupid."

Ben finally nods and Chewie ruffles his hair like he used to when Ben was a child and they let him go inside. He can hear the two men talking, the garage door shifting as Ben disappears into the house. The blockers are exactly his father said they would be. They hit him like a bucket of cold water, the scent something grotesque and calming all at once. After taking a shower and throwing on a pair of workout shorts Ben decides to go for a run. A _long_ run. The night air is hot against his skin as his feet pound the pavement and he pushes his body as hard as it can go. 

The freedom is nice, his brain feeling less foggy the further he runs. It never occurs to him that at some point he might have to actually turn back and make his way home. No, instead he runs like he’s trying to escape something. Himself maybe. 

By the time he hits the town limits he’s run about six kilometres and the sky is turning the most wonderful shade of pink. Sunset has been creeping earlier and earlier as the days grow shorter by tiny increments. A sign that summer is well on it’s way to being over. Ben checks his watch and makes note of the time and then his heartbeat as he sags against his knees, hands pressing into his thighs as he steadies his breath. Out here there isn’t much to look at just trees and endless fields filled with lazy dairy cows. Another three kilometres and he’d be at the shoreline staring off into the Atlantic ocean.  
It’s tempting but he still needs to make it back and pack his things if he’s planning on spending the weekend at Hux’s beach house. He wonders if his parents will even let him go after his embarrassing admission. If his father might tell his mother about Ben’s growing desires. A weekend unchaperoned definitely isn’t the best idea because despite what Hux says there is no way the housekeeper is going to stick around to make sure a bunch of kids keep themselves out of trouble and Brendol is still out of town. 

Ben can handle himself though, with their friends around he's sure there aren’t going to be many opportunities for him and Rey to get very intimate. They have been good at avoiding the more pelvic activities too which surely should keep Ben’s fantasies in check. Right?

There’s a soft chime at his wrist, his watch indicating he’s gotten a text message. The dark screen lit up by vibrant white text as Rey’s name scrolls across the small watch face. 

** <Rey: I’ve been thinking a lot about this and I think we should have sex>**

Ben’s stomach flutters, his chest growing tight as his phone chimes again.

**< Rey: Sex sex, the kind there your dick goes inside me.>**  
 ** <Rey: I can’t stop thinking about your knot and how it felt when you were inside me>**  
** <Rey: Is that ok?>**  
** <Rey: I L word you Ben Solo and I want you to fuck me>**

Well shit, then there's that. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently this fic has become a PSA for safe sex and healthy decision making... haha   
> So, I just want to say, I based Han and Leia's parenting style on how I was raised. A lot of freedoms until you screw up and then you're on lockdown hard. Han might seem rather relaxed about Ben and Rey's relationship but I assure you he's not but he is allowing Ben an opportunity to learn how to be a person and an alpha. So much more fun to come.   
> Come say hello on [The Twitter](https://twitter.com/rebelscumreylo)


	13. My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You’re playing with fire, Rey,” he warns, stalking some to the left as she holds firm her position.
> 
> “Are you going to burn me, Ben?” Burn her, brand her, make her scream his name until her voice is raw. He wants to do all this and more, “My big. Strong. Alpha.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know at this point guys...   
> Chapter count has been upped, I THINK for the last time, please forgive me!

To say that Brendol Hux owns a cottage on the Atlantic is a bit of an understatement. It’s less of a cottage, not even so much of a house really and more of a small palace. Ben’s stayed there plenty of times before, usually with a number of guys from the hockey team. They have a few drinks, play video games and swim. Nothing at all like the party Hux has planned for tonight.

He’ll stake out his room early, a larger one towards the back facing north out onto the Atlantic. It’s far enough away from the main living room and basement stairs that he won’t be bothered if he decides to crash early. Or if say, he and Rey decide they need a little more privacy for… _reasons_. 

He can't think about that too much though, they haven’t really talked about... _that._ The whole sex thing that is. Ben hasn’t exactly been able to think straight since his conversation with his father and Chewie the other day so discussing sex, that actual act of, with the girl he wants to fuck more than anything in the world is likely not a stellar idea. Only he can’t escape it. Or her for that matter.

He’d agreed to help Hux set up for the party, move some things around, lock away the areas they don’t want partygoers to linger. The drive would have given Ben time to clear his head only Rey decided she needed to join him on his early journey up Poe and Finn too for some ungodly reason. His quiet drive turned into a circus of music complaints and overtly sexual flirtation as Poe and Finn pretended they aeren’t a thing while being a thing in the back seat. Well, if _that_ wasn’t familiar. 

Rey, of course, has taken her seat shotgun and played DJ for the whole drive criticizing Ben’s taste in music, his need for a hair cut (which she did while blatantly touching his hair and stroking his ear). His decision to wear board shorts with lobsters on them (He hadn’t been expecting company and had no time to change). And, the fact that he brought with him well over 10 packages of bacon. She’d be thanking him for that the next day when she’s hungover and in need of a greasy breakfast. 

They arrive a little before ten, the tide still high, the sun sitting behind a haze of clouds that’s promising to burn off in the afternoon heat. It’s the perfect day to spend on the beach. Hux, of course, is nowhere to be found, his Lexus parked next to the garage with the door wide open. There’s a bang and then a slue of cursing before the redhead emerges, a set of washer toss boxes gripped under his arm.

“Thought you were going to be here early!” The redhead accuses, grumbling as he makes his way over to the side lawn where he sets up the game before heading back for another set. 

Ben simply chuckles shaking his head as he pulls Geraldine up next to Hux’s Lexus, killing her engine. Rey is the first one out of the car, the door left wide as she takes off across the grass down over the slope towards the ocean. It’s all she’s talked about the entire drive out, between her many complaints and lamenting her intense need for an evening of drinking. She’s never been to the ocean before, something Ben has taken for granted his entire life living in Alderaan. 

Her laugh is loud and bright as she shrieks barreling into the surf like a child and Ben can’t help but smile watching as tanned legs carry her in and out with the tide. She’s still wearing his sweater again, the one with Solo written across the shoulders which seems a little odd considering the climate but it’s not something Ben will _ever_ complain about. 

While Rey laughs and dances with the tide Poe and Finn each take their time, stretching out their limbs as Ben pops the trunk and the three start taking arm fulls of supplies into the house. Bags filled with chips and breakfast meats, eggs and an assortment of other delicious treats make their way into the kitchen while Ben loads up various coolers that Hux has strategically placed all over the yard. While Poe and Finn set to loading the fridge Ben grabs his and Reys bags and carries them off down the hallway off the kitchen where he knows the bedrooms are located. 

The _cottage_ boasts seven bedrooms, eight if you include Hux’s parents but no one does because that room is forbidden. Though Ben has never actually seen Brendol use the coastal home he’s never dared venture into the sacred space for fear he might actually burst into flames. Ben honestly wouldn’t put it past a man like Brendol Hux to have some sort of pact with the devil. 

Quietly Ben pops into the room second from the end. It walls a dark blue, the linens a glittery silvery-white in the dappled sunlight. It’s the room he often stays in with large open windows and a salt breeze that flutters in off the ocean. He deposits their bags side by side on the bed staring at them for just a moment. They’d never explicitly talked about sharing a room this weekend but it seems a strange thing to sleep apart given how their summer has gone. If Rey is unhappy with the call Ben would be disappointed but he'd live with it. At least he would try to, his alpha grumbling it's displeasure at the mere idea of her body being anywhere but curled up next to his in the dim moonlight. It's not even sexual which is moderately surprising at this point in the game, this need he has to have her near. It leaves him unsettled and restless, his hands twitching at his side as he wonders where she might be at this very moment. The need to simply touch her so strong that it makes his heart _hurt._

A pain which is muted when Rey returns from her oceanside frolic, her cheeks are pink, her hair is a mess, and her smile has never been brighter. It takes several deep breathes and a level of control Ben wasn’t entirely sure he possessed to stop himself from sweeping her into his arms and kissing the life out of her. Control that his inner alpha is slowly picking away at from the darkest pits of his desires. It purrs and hums whenever she’s near whispering things, dirty, amazing things that it wants to do to her, with her, _on_ her. 

“Guys, I want to go swimming!” Rey chirps happily, brushing a stray strand of hair away from her face. Her fingers lost in the heavy sleeves of his sweater, “Come on, let’s go, please?” she looks from Poe to Finn before her gaze falls on Ben. The weakest link and she knows it. He’d do just about anything to make her happy.

“You can, I want to make up these dips so I don’t have to worry about anything else later,” Finn grumbles, digging his way through Hux’s cupboards.

“Bottom right,” Poe shoots easily, hoisting himself up on the kitchen island so his feet dangle off the edge, “Can you grab the punch bowl while you’re down there, I want to make sangria.”

“How the fuck do you find anything in here?” Finn’s voice sounds almost hollow as he talks into the cupboard but Ben barely hears him, his eyes focused solely upon Rey who seems to be getting rather suggestive with her lips and her tongue and… _fuck._

There’s a loud bang, a door slams and then opens and then slams again before Hux makes his way into the kitchen brushing what looks like cobwebs off of his black short sleeve button down. The idiot looks like he’s asking for a burn. Pasty white skin, ginger hair, dressed all in black with a pair of dark Reybans perched on his nose, “Alright, who’s doing what?” Straight down to business, Hux gives Ben a look which tells him, like it or not he’s been voted to team Hux while Fin and Rey mutter something about dips. 

“Say… Armie ole Pal?”

Hux visibly cringes making Poe laugh, “What do you want Dameron?”

“Can I…” and Poe’s grin turns manic, “Maybe take a peek at Brendol's wine cellar?”  
  
With an exasperated huff Hux agrees gesturing for Poe to follow him as they disappear down the stairs and into the basement. When they return sometime later Poe has a number of expensive-looking wine bottles in his hand and a grin on his face that could be considered nothing but shit eating. 

Ben agrees to help Hux set up things outside while the others set to their task of chopping veggies, and fruit and mixing together various cheeses. All in all, it doesn’t take long before the majority of work has been accomplished but the clouds have burned off and the heat is starting to get a little intense. There are washer toss games set up as well as an oversized game of beer pong. They manage to dig out an assortment of spare chairs and tiki torches, vacuum the pool and blow up pool floatings until Ben’s lungs are screaming in protest and the yard is covered in more games and toys than any one party should ever have need of. 

“Who’s all invited anyway?” Ben asks, catching Armitage’s scowl as he puts the last green dot on the grass. Lawn twister and alcohol, what could possibly go wrong there?

“Fuck if I’d know. Poe told Snap—“  
  
Ben mutters a harsh, “Fuck, he’s not taking Baz is he?”

Hux throws Ben a look that might be considered sympathetic if he thought his friend was capable of such things, “I’d love to tell you no, _Daddy_ ,” yeah no, definitely not sympathetic, “But you know she’s likely to show up. She’s never been one to turn down a party invite.”

“Fuck.”

“Safe to say we’re keeping her away from Rey?” Ben nods kicking at the giant unicorn pool floatie he’s just blown up, the damn thing looks like it’s on drugs. Hux to his credit hides his smarmy smile in favour of stabbing tiki forces into the ground next to the fire pit. “Is this a thing yet or are we all pretending you two aren’t fucking each others brains out?” Another thunk, another torch pitched into the ground. 

“I’ve already told you, we only had sex the once.”

“Right, because you two have just been getting together and reading scripture all summer…” Armitage provides sarcastically with an exaggerated eye roll for good measure, “Have you eaten her out?” Ben keeps his mouth shut, “Have you fucked her mouth?” he’s not doing this, “Do you know what she looks like when she comes? the noises she makes? Does she say your name all breathy and sweet in your ear when she falls apart?" Hux doesn't wait for an answer and thank god for that because Ben is starting to get incredibly irritated, or turned on, or maybe a mix of both because fuck, he can see it, "Yeah, that’s what I thought. I don’t even want to think about the number of times you two have hooked up and don’t think I didn’t notice where you put her things.”

“Out of the way,” Ben shrugs. 

“All I ask is when you make of mess of the sheets, please strip the bed and put in in the wash. I don’t need Mabel coming in and freaking out about cum stains and giving me shit.”

With the fire pit now stocked in torches, chairs and logs for burning Hux leads Ben over into the garage where the ‘ _real fun_ ’ is stored. Brendol keeps an assortment of old restored muscle cars locked away in one half of the garage, the half that remains locked at all times. The door that’s left open now is where all the pool equipment and tools are kept and to the back is a set of stairs leading up to an apartment that apparently was built for the maid. 

Another area they tend to avoid. Mabel, the Hux’s cleaner has a temper like wildfire and a low tolerance for teenage shenanigans. Ben once watched her hit Armitage with a rolled-up newspaper for running through the house with his shoes on. Sometimes it’s hard to tell who is more terrifying, Brendol or Mabel. It’s easier just to leave both of their things well enough alone. 

Hux is digging under an old workbench when Ben steps into the cool air of the garage. There are boxes filled with random pieces of wood and doorknobs and an assortment of other random bits and bobs now littering the floor as Hux pulls and adjusts things until he finds what he's looking for. With a quiet ‘ _aha!_ ’ he starts dragging out boxes that sound particularly heavy. 

And, Knowing Armitage Hux there could be anything inside. More alcohol, imported cigars he’s managed to pilfer from his father, omega porn, pills or other drugs are all viable options. When Hux hosts a party he often does so in style. Thankfully, instead of an assortment of illicit items, to Bens amusement and horror Hux begins pulling out a handful of different fireworks. Roman candles and small rockets, pinwheels and a number of rather large tubes that look like they could blow a hole in the side of the building, “Figured we could set em off once it gets dark enough. Tide will be out tonight so it’ll be perfect.”

Perfect or a complete and utter disaster, time will tell. The last time they’d gotten their hands on roman candles they’d spent the evening firing them at each other instead of into the air. Ben still has the burn mark just above his ass from that wild fiasco. All the same, Ben helps Hux bring the boxes down towards the shed at the corner of the property where they’ll stay hidden until it gets dark. They’ve just managed to stash away the last of the many boxes when Ben catches sight Finn and Poe slipping out of the backdoor and across the deck off into the woods. 

Gee, wonder what they might be up to. 

It takes only a minute to realize that Rey is now very alone in that big house, “I uh…”

Hux looks up from organizing his pile of sparklers and glow sticks to catch Finn slipping off into the bushes, “Oh for fuck sakes… ok go. Just… I dunno, no fucking in the living room please.” 

Ben grins and takes off in a run. They haven't been alone together in days, a reality which crashes into him like a pile of bricks. His desire to touch her becomes a deep-seated need the burns beneath his skin like liquid steel in his veins. Taking the steps to the back deck two at a time he launches into the house to the smell of cooked hamburger and onions. His stomach doing a soft sort of grumble but fuck the food. 

There’s music playing from a set of speakers sitting on the kitchen island. Something Ben actually knows this time. The Black Keys- and Rey is dancing along to the sound. Her hips shake and her head bops as she pops something into her mouth and then throws a handful of something cut up onto a baking dish full of something white and creamy, salsa, hamburger and what looks like lettuce. 

All around her on the counters are an assortment of casserole dishes filled with various substances and covered in saran wrap. Dips, he realizes idly pushing his way into the room as Rey continues to pick apart whatever it is she’s got clasped in her hands. He can only see her back, her shorts barely visible beneath the length of his sweater and it’s a shame really because she has such a lovely ass. Her hair is pulled back in a high bun sitting on top of her head exposing the tanned column of fine muscles. The bulk of his sweater hiding the real treasure, that fucking glad that sings to him every time he touches her now. 

He wants her, he wants her like he’s never wanted her before. That niggling voice in the back of his head telling him to go, do it, take her. Push her over the counter, pull her shorts down and take what is rightfully his. Only she’s not his, not really. She is in many ways but not in the way the voice whispering to him implies. Not in the way his biology _demands_. Being a teenager is hard enough but throwing in hundreds of years worth of preprogrammed need makes the whole thing seem like a joke. 

On quiet footing he slips up behind her, his hand grabbing her hips as his lips find her neck, “Hello sweetheart,” he breathes against her skin, his teeth dragging against the hard corded muscles that pop out as she arches just for him. She starts ever so sweetly, the softest gasp escaping her lips before she melts into his touch, “Fuck you smell good,” his nose traces softly along the back of her neck. Maybe it’s the ocean air, or the freedom or maybe it's just _her_ but there’s something in her scent that seems different somehow. Stronger, but not overbearing. Like it’s made just for him. 

Slamming the knife he hadn’t been aware she was holding down onto the cutting board Rey pushes her hips back against Ben’s warm and solid form, “Ben Solo,” she purrs, wiggling just a little, “Aren’t you suppose to be helping Armie?”

Probably, but all thoughts of doing anything productive went out the window the moment he realized he could gain a few short moments alone with her. “Missed you though,” he mumbles his hands slipping up and under his sweater to palm the flat expanse of her belly. His chin pushing down the neck of her (his) sweater to expose her mating gland. Her skin is hot, so fucking hot beneath his touch and the scent here, that sweet vanilla and cinnamon is mixed with the apple and jasmine of her shampoo making her smell like apple crumble. 

His breath falls across the back of her neck and the patch of flesh that’s just a slightly different color. The area where his teeth need to go if he ever wanted to make good on his budding desires.

No. He _can’t_. But he can think about it though. The way the scent of her here is so strong it makes him a little dumb. The way the skin feels just a little different, softer, like velvet. The way it blooms off her, that sweet thick smell makes Ben’s mouth water. It’s darker today, warmer like something fresh out of the oven but laced with a need that calls to him deeply, “Fuck, I could eat up,” He inhales slowly, his mouth, his lips, his tongue pressed against that little piece of forbidden flesh placing feather-light kisses until his teeth find the meat of her trapezius muscle and he can’t help but bite. Not hard enough to break the skin but enough to show her just how much he wants her. Punctuating that growing desire with an obvious press of his hips. 

“You’re gonna get us caught,” Rey wines with a heated gasp. 

“Mmmhhm don’t care,” and he doesn’t, dangerously so. It sends a thrill through him to think that any moment now one of their friends might walk through the door and find them. Ben’s hands slipped beneath her shirt. One inching higher until his fingers are tugging down the cup of her bra to slide over her pebbled nipple softly. “I’ve fucking _missed_ you,” he tells her again as if the first time wasn't enough, another line of kisses trailing lazily across her skin before he mumbles, “why do you smell so fucking good?” 

To prove his point or maybe just because he can Ben slides his lower hand along the delicate swell of her belly until his thumb skirts the waistline of her jean shorts. They aren’t tight, quite the opposite really falling loose on her hips with enough room for his hand to slip inside. 

There he holds her, her body pressed against his own, one hand on her chest while the other threatens impropriety. He can feel the way her heartbeat flutters beneath his palm as she giggles and whimpers and moans beneath him. She’s egging him on and he knows it but like fuck if he cares because she’s so soft and sweet beneath his touch. 

Blunt fingers push further, tracing a trail along the trimmed line of pubic hair that Rey keeps neatly done, “Rey,” Ben purrs against her ear, “You seem to be missing your underwear again,” she shudders against him as his fingers slip lower and lower until they’re sliding between her folds already so damp and ready for him, “And you’re getting so wet,” he says it like it’s a shock, his fingers curling, his muddle digit breaching her warmth and he’s pushing, pushing, _pushing_ until he’s knuckle deep in her cunt. 

She feels so hot and sweet, her breath falling in soft pants as she uses his body for support, “Was nnnggh,” she starts as he begins to work into her, “was gonna go swimming,” she tires but her voice is breathy and barely there, a hand coming to rest on Ben’s wrist, feather-light as it works in slow and easy strokes, “Wan— mmmffuuuuk Ben.”

He smiles against her neck as he increases his tempo revelling in the way his pace pushes her hips back against him, forcing her to grind back on his already very stiff cock. “What’s that baby girl?” His one finger stalls before he pushes back in with two. She keens against the added stretch, her knees buckling as he tries to grind the heel of his palm against her clit, “Do you need to come?”

She’s nodding emphatically and fuck if that doesn’t make him want to blow his load right then and there, “Yo—you knowww,” he kisses her neck as she arches against him again, “You know I hate whe—eeeennnn you call me that.” 

It’s true, he does, he also knows he likes it when she whines, “mmmmmyou’re right.” Ben mumbles against her shoulder, “but you love when I do this don’t you?” it’s hard to tell which action Ben might be referring to because two things happen at once. He quirks his fingers tugging towards the front wall of Rey’s trembling channel all the while blowing softly across her mating gland.

Her shudder is a full-body experience, “Ben I— I want.”

“Tell me what you want,” a pause, a demand, lips turned into a smile as he rumbles out a throaty, “Omega.” That has Rey whining. 

“I want you,” she gasps, “I want you—“ it’s hard to move in the limited space provided by her shorts so Ben quickly switches tactic petting along her inner wall in heavy, smooth motions, “Fuck Ben, I want you inside me.” 

His cock twitches like it knows it’s being called to and honestly, it’s nearly impossible to hold back from pushing her against the counter and taking her there. ‘ _Fuck her, fill her, mate her_ ’ the voice in his head purrs as Ben curls over her body tighter like some giant bat. He whimpers, actually fucking whimpers in her ears, “I am inside you,” he taunts but now he can’t get the image of her spread out before him begging for his knot out of his head. 

“Not what I meant,” she urges.

“Then tell me what you meant.”

There's a frustrated cry that melds with a moan and Ben can’t help but chuckle, “You—“

“What about me Rey, come on…”

“Your— your cock.” 

“What about my cock?” he’s pushing and he knows it but he can’t help it, it's intoxicating. The noises she’s making the way she smells, the way her body responds to every shift and push.

“Fuck Ben, Please.” God he loves when she’s needy, “I want your cock inside me!”

She’s a panting mess chanting ‘ _I want, I want, I want_ ’ over and over until the words don’t even sound like words anymore but a prayer. He can feel the way her sweet heat flutters, his free hand sliding down her belly to unbutton her shorts. With the waist now loose Ben pushes them down just a little giving himself more room to work. 

Sometimes he wonders if it’ll always be this between them. A push and pull that’s so volatile it threatens to destroy them. The way he needs her like oxygen in his lungs. The way he’s begun to think of them as two parts of a whole and it’s terrifying and yet nothing in his entire merger existence has ever felt so _right_ before. 

They should find a bed, he should lay her out properly like an offering and worship her like the goddess she is. She is his aphrodite and he will forever, until the end of his days feel her pull.

Finger fucking her in the kitchen of his best friend's family cottage has its merits too. The chaotic energy of his need snapping around them as her body sways against him. His fingers slip in and out now, the lewd sound of her slick filled cunt being fucked filling the room as Rey pants and bucks against him. “No, no no,” she whispers, “Want to come with you inside me Ben,” and oh, how he wants that too but it’s not safe right now, they’ll get caught without question and while that thought isn’t necessarily unappealing for a multitude of reasons Ben knows when he finally is able to sink into the slick heat of her body he wants to be able to take his time. To tame the beast that’s rioting within him, screaming for her submission. 

“Shhhh shhhhhh,” Ben finds himself coaxing, “There’s time for that later, we have all weekend,” his hand moves faster, harsher, pausing for just a moment so that he can maneuver a third finger into her. The angle is funny, his movements stilted and off but none of that matters because she’s so tight and warm and sweet wrapped around him. The scent of her in the air sings to him like a sirens call as he mutters into her ear, “Come for me sweet girl, beautiful girl, come all over my fingers, make them nice and wet.” 

Whimpers of _‘yes_ ’ and ‘ _so good’_ spill from her lips as he feels her body coiling tighter and tighter beneath him. His thumb works in a strange sort of pattern trying in desperation to find it’s way along the hood of her clit. Rey is so wet now that it’s hard to find purchase, his rhythm and pressure not the most elegant but when he manages a tight circle she keens and he knows that he has her. She’s back to chanting his name, her hips pressed deliciously tight against Ben’s now painful erection. Soft panting becomes high pitched begging, ‘ _please_ ’ and ‘ _so close_ ’ driving Ben on. 

The pressure, the slide, the way her backside fits so perfectly against him, it’s enough to make him come in his pants like a child. An amusing thought, as though he were some seasoned Cassanova. But a summer of this has Ben feeling pretty cocky, “That’s it, sweet girl, show me how good you can be.” the words fall from his lips before he knows what he’s doing, “You be a good girl and come for me now and later I’ll have you come on my knot,” he _hopes_. That is to say, he’s fairly certain he’ll be able to. If there’s one thing Ben has gotten quite good at lately it’s making Rey fall apart for him.

Like now, with a sharp gasp, her head snaps back, resting against Ben’s shoulder and she’s sighing, maybe laughing it’s hard to tell really but there’s no mistaking the way her inners wall clench. Slick drips down over his fingers and along her thighs in a mess that has his mouth-watering. 

Maybe just a little more. 

His fingers push her through it, a shiver that has her weak in the knees, her legs slipping out from under her forcing his fingers just a little too deep, too fast. She gasps again, a sound he could live off of but he doesn’t pull away, instead, he holds her up pressing sweet kisses against her neck. Her skin tastes sweet and salty, a combination of clean and ocean air and something that's undeniably Rey. Something that soothes him, calms him, curls around his heart and carves out a space for itself. Something that drives him to want so much more than slick wet fingers and the breathy way she says his name. Without thought, or perhaps through too much thought Ben drags his teeth across her mating gland and she’s coming all over again. This time it’s louder, more violent and bright with a strong squeezing of his fingers until her thighs are a sticky mess and her body a dead weight against him,

For a short moment Rey simply sags, then whimpers and giggles before moaning softly, a hand raising to stroke the side of his face, “Ben,” she says breathlessly and he did that to her, her voice slipping out sated and sweet, “I want to have sex.” 

She says it so matter of fact that he thinks he may be misheard her. It’s not that it’s news, obviously, it’s just that this straight forward demanding of the things she needs is new. “I know,” he tries, pulling his hand from between her legs to bring his fingers to her mouth. His cheek is snuggled against hers, her back still pressed securely to his chest. For a second he wonders if it’s pushing this too far but something in his hindbrain urges him forward painting her lips in a sticky line of her own slick. Her tongue hot, pink and wet slips out to greet his eager fingers until they’re pulled into her mouth with a moan. 

When he spins her around, leaning her back against the counter she looks wild. Her hair a mess, her lips swollen and glistening as he works his fingers against them. Eyes dark, pupils blown, she looks wrecked and _fuck_ if he doesn’t want to destroy her even more. He’s mesmerized by the way she simply allows it, drunk off her own pleasure. The smell of her so strong as she closes her lips around his digits and sucks on them softly. The sensation of her mouth going straight to his groin, her little tongue swirling around in the most tantalizing way. 

Gritting out a soft ‘ _fuck_ ’ that definitely sounds more like a whimper, Ben pulls his fingers from her mouth before sweeping in for a kiss. He can taste her there, his tongue darting across the swell of her lower lip before he practically growls, “You’re staying with me tonight,” not a question but an answer. Maybe an answer they both need because Rey simply nods, licking at his lower lip and smiling.

“I am,” she offers in a coy sort of way making him wonder if she might actually challenge it. Completely lost for what to do if she did. 

He tries not to let it phase him, tries to come across easy and cool as his heart beats a mile a minute within his chest, “You know they’ll all figure it out if you do,” a shrug and she’s smiling. That sweet sort of smile that hooks him right around the middle, “You’re ok with that?” 

There’s the softest of pauses as Rey seems to think, her dark eyes luminous, lids heavy as she takes his hand and gives it a squeeze, “I don’t know,” she offers him truthfully and that’s all he can ask for, “But the alternative is far less appealing,” a kiss on his nose makes him grin like a fool, “Come swimming with me?”

“I have to help Hu—“

But she stops him with a pout, “I’ve never swum in the ocean before Ben, come swimming with me please?”

It’s hard to deny her anything when she looks at him like _that_. Like he’s it for her, the one thing in the world that she needs, depends on. Her hands slide up along the soft material of his t-shirt, gliding across his chest radiating heat. She’s always been warm but never has she run this hot before. All heat and desire, cheeks flushed from her orgasm. He doesn’t even have time to consider saying no because why would he? 

What would be the point? He’d spend the afternoon staring off at her playing in the ocean wishing he was there, close enough to scent her. 

His hand in hers she pulls him off down the hallway ducking into their room, _their_ room because they’re going to share it tonight, to get her bathing suit. His eyes on the bed, Ben can’t help but think of all the different ways he might have her there, all the things he might do to her. Fuck. His flagging erection gives a hop in anticipation as he watches her scamper off towards the bathroom to clean up her sticky situation and change into her swimsuit. She’s excited for him to see it she tells him with a kiss to the corner of his mouth, leaving him there to think about the trail of slick saturating her shorts. They’ll have to rinse them out quick, it’s not something that should be left around for others alpha’s to scent. 

Ben makes quick work stripping off his clothing, giving a particularly harsh glare to his dick that just won’t soften. It stands stiff and agitated, _ready_. Like it knows it’s not going to get the attention or use it needs. He can hear the water running from the bathroom tap across the hall, the image of Rey cleaning up the mess he made of her flashing in his mind's eye. Fuck. He’s so completely and utterly fucked. 

Bringing his hand to his nose he takes a deep smooth inhale luxuriating in the way Rey’s scent clings to his skin. Even after she so gratefully cleaned them off, she’s still there, deep and musky and sweet. A scent that he dreams about, that has him waking up hard and desperate on the mornings that she’s no longer there in bed with him. That won’t be the case tonight though, a thought that brings him more pleasure than sense dictates.

Taking himself in hand Ben groans, the sensation of skin against skin is almost painful he’s so keyed up. The only thing that had mattered was getting her off and now he’s left with the painful reminder that he too was enjoying their kitchen foray. She’s helped him discover he likes a firm hand. Not pain necessarily but a teasing pressure that edges the pleasure. He tries to mimic how Rey does it, a firm grip on the shaft while a looser pull at the tip, teasing with a pull of his foreskin over the flared, fat head. 

He doesn’t have long, the idea of her catching him flares along his spine pooling in a heavy need for release that settles in his balls. Balls that he cups and kneads his head thrown back as he works himself into a bit of a frenzy. He’s in too deep, ready to spill over his hand when her scent hits him, the click of the door shutting echoing in his mind. He’s not alone anymore, but she’s quiet enough that he can pretend he doesn’t know she’s there. Only her presence is intoxicating, her need peeking again at the sight of him. 

“Watcha doing Ben?” She all but whispers and she’s there at his back, her chest pressed against him, fingers trailing down over the muscles of his forearm as he slows up his pace some. He keeps himself on the edge, ready to let go but yielding control to her. Her lips press soft kisses against his shoulder, teeth scraping in a mirror of his own previous actions. When she clips the edge of his mating glad Ben looses his grip afraid he’ll come right away and end this little game. 

“Alpha,” she murmurs, no _whines_ , she fucking whines it in his ear, her breath ghosting along his neck as her hand massages his knot that is dangerously close to popping, “I wanna watch.” 

Ben swallows hard and then nods, almost regretting it in an instant. The loss of her skin against his leaves his back bare, the air prickling over flesh now so sensitive and raw. He expects her to sit on the edge of the bed, a good a spot as any to perch as he finishes himself off but instead Rey drops to her knees in front of him. 

Fuck, _holy fuck_. Her hair is pulled back away from her face tied in a knot above her head. A knot that he loosens allowing thick chestnut hair to tumble around her shoulders before cupping her cheek. She leans into the touch, a soft pressure against his hand before pressing a kiss against his wrist, “Show me,” she whispers, dark eyes pleading, “you’re close,” not a question because she knows, “Fuck Ben, you’re going to make a mess of me all over again.”

Ben groans as he picks up the pace a little, foreskin pulled back now exposing the blunt head of his cock. Her grin is coquettish and sweet as she licks at the tip, her tongue catching a dewy bead of precum as it dribbles from its source. 

“Nnnhg Rey,” he hears himself say, her name like sweet honey on his tongue, “Gonna— fuck I’m gonna come,” because how can he not? She’s batting her lashes and opening her lips like she expects him to deliver it directly into her mouth. 

“Come, Ben,” She urges, “Come for me,” then she tags on the one word that ends him. Her breathy, “ _Alpha_ ,” so soft and demure that he almost doesn’t catch it. His hindbrain, however, is two steps ahead, his release crashing into him like a tsunami. The sound that erupts from his chest is like something inhuman and wild. A groan so feral and wrecked that it threatens to cleeve his chest in two. He’s coming in spurts, ropes of pearlescent liquid coating her lips and her face only some of it making it into her mouth. A rain of sticky seed dripping in gobs from her cheek, as she opens her mouth wider and closes her eyes. The sight alone is enough to ruin him. 

He moves his hand viciously working with the hot thrum of his pulse. His cock throbbing as it slows to a dribble and Rey is swallowing him down like he’s offered her sweet ambrosia. Small hands slide across his hips to his ass kneading at the muscles. Her lips find his cock head, flared and swollen and oh so sensitive licking it clean before she licks her lips in a wide arc cleaning away what’s left of him there with a sweet hum of satisfaction. The cat the got the cream so to speak. 

The sight is something out of a wet dream, his spend dribbling down across tanned skin. Her lips parted, cheeks rosy, pink tongue darting out because she wants no— _needs_ to taste him. Like a toddler finger painting, he reaches out, smearing the thick liquid against her cheek until it’s worked into her skin like some expensive skin lotion. It marks her and they both know it, “How can you manage to be this fit,” she giggles massaging his rear end for good measure, “And still have no ass?” 

Still slightly dumb from his sudden loss of fluids Ben laughs a lazy and exhausted sort of laugh. His knees quiver, threatening to drop him to the floor but Rey is there with feather light kisses pressed with delicate care across his stomach, “What?” He tries, but his voice is raw and harsh. Her words tumble through his mind catching up to him like pebbles down a well crashing into the surface with an echoed splash, “I have an ass!” It comes out more a mope than actual defence as Ben finds himself torn between glancing back at his insulted anatomy and staring at her face because fuck, she’s so god damn beautiful it hurts. 

It doesn’t help that her face is smeared with his cum and her mouth is still hanging slightly agape. A thousand defences bubble up but never reach passed his lips. His thighs are thick, his quads toned from years of skating. His hamstrings are tight and short but the one thing he has never been able to build up to the same degree has always been his glutes. He has an ass, it’s just not as developed as the rest of him happens to be, “You don’t like my ass?”

When she stands it’s with a bounce, drawing herself up to full height, her hands sliding across his chest, “Ben, I think it’s safe to say by now there isn’t a single scrap of your anatomy that I don’t like.” she purrs, rubbing her nose and in effect, a streak of cum across his chest, “You aren’t planning on going swimming like that though are you?

She’s caught him with his pants down, or off really. Plopping herself down on his, no _their_ bed with a flirtatious little bounce. It’s then that he notices, _really_ notices what she’s wearing. A bathing suit sure but he’s seen her in plenty of those all summer on afternoons spent in Armitage’s pool. Those pieces have always been modest and simple, something that shows off her curves without being too salacious in the process. This swimsuit, however, is not the high waisted number that Ben has grown accustomed to. The bottoms are blue, a deep navy sort lined in silver and gold woven through the stitching like the fabric is held together by magic. It ties on the side the bows neatly done low on her hips but easily tugged if he or anyone he realizes with a growl should desire to do so. It shows off her hips and he’s sure, the round of her ass in a way that makes his cock stir at the mere thought of it. While Ben may not have much of a backside to brag about, Rey has an ass that is out of this world. Her legs are long and toned and strong. Runner's legs. Legs that clamp down around his ears when he fucks her with his mouth and oh how he loves the way that feels. 

Her top Is the same dark blue material with more silver and gold woven through the straps that tie behind her neck instead of sitting on her shoulders. The whole thing is designed for limited tan lines and easy access, “You like it?” She asks softly, watching him as he takes her in. Leaning back on the bed with her legs crossed at the ankles propped up on extended arms that leave her comfortably reclined. 

Ben nods like an idiot, swallowing hard as he takes a step closer, his hands slide along her thighs as he leans in for a kiss. “Is this for me?” he asks with all the arrogance of a seventeen-year-old alpha. An arrogance which would have had her swinging at him before while he toys with the ties at her hips.

“I may have purchased it with someone in mind,” she taunts, rubbing their noses together with a grin before whispering against his lips, “You promised you’d go swimming, you can’t go swimming like that.”

“Someone distracted me while I was getting dressed.” 

“Oh no, you can’t blame this on me,” Rey pushes herself upright forcing Ben back a couple of steps, “You were mid wank before I—“

“Rey! Ben?” Finn's voice is like cold water down his spine making his brain short circuit. He’s trapped between staring at Rey who has his swim shorts held out to him and realizing he’s still very naked, “Where the fuck did you two go?”

Snatching his shorts quickly he casts Rey a warning glance, “Do you think they went down to the beach?” he hears Poe ask. 

“Maybe, but does it smell a bit like sex in here to you?” Rey’s eyes go wide as she leans in close. Ben has just barely gotten his legs into his shorts and is starting to pull them up over his hips taking special care of his over sensitive dick when Rey pinches him hard. Her deft little fingers grab a piece of his arse before rounding a firm crack against the bare skin still exposed. The sound echoes in the room around them followed by a stifled giggle and a lip pinned between her teeth. 

“You’re dead little one,” Ben grumbles playfully, securing his shorts before lunging in her direction. 

She’s fast, though he knew that and loves it about her even as she dodges his swiping paw before bolting out the door with a gleeful shriek of, “Fuck you Solo!” and like a wolf stalking its prey, Ben is off. He hears more than sees the way Rey collides with Poe before running into the wall with a loud thud of her palm against the drywall. 

He laughs as he pushes past them and down the hallway after her colliding with the doorframe with an impact that causes the dishes in the cupboards the rattle. There’s a moment in the kitchen where they stop and play merry-go-round at the island. Her eyes are filled with wildfire, taunting as she moves this way and that before she psyches him out and pushes through the back door, out onto the deck and into the bright summer air. Ben hot on her heels. 

Out in the open, he has more room to move, his body too big for indoor shenanigans without the risk of breaking something valuable. There are chairs knocked over and pool floaties thrown at him as Rey laughs and jeers and skips away like a gazelle evading a lion. 

Long lean legs give her the advantage, her ability to sprint without getting winded something to admire but Ben has trained his body to move hard and fast for years now. It’s only a matter of time before he closes in on her, a reality that seems slightly bitter. He’s having fun with this game, taking his time with the chase. He toys with her a little, prolonging the inevitable, feeding her a false sense of security as she darts across the yard towards the washer toss games and a small patch of trees. It’s an oddly placed cluster of birch trees and a handful of maples all clumped together giving Rey the barrier she needs to keep her ‘ _safe_ ’. Without shoes, Ben wouldn’t dare try it but Rey bolts through as fearless as ever. 

He stops short, chest heaving, a predatory smile playing at his lips. The sun has reached its highest peak in the sky meaning it’s now noontime and the haze of the morning has been burned away. This is summer, the salt air, Rey’s tanned skin, a need to dominate. Wait. No. 

“Come on Rey,” Ben coos, edging along the tree line as she weaves in between a pair of smaller maples, “You know running only makes this worse on you,” His voice comes out a sultry soft purr as he cocks his head to the side. Her scent hits him like a cresting wave all joy and deep desire that only he knows the taste of. She’s enjoying this, the little tease and truthfully Ben can’t help but feel it’s stroking something dark and primal within his own gut, “I can smell you Rey, are you really that turned on already after you’ve already just come on my fingers?” 

He hears her gasp, watches her turn so that her back is pressed against the birch tree ahead. “What are you going to do when you catch me?” When, not _if,_ because she knows as well as he does how this will inevitably end. 

At this point they undoubtedly have an audience, there’s a muttering of voices and someone hollers out, ' _Get her Solo!'_ that someone is undoubtedly Poe but Ben can’t think of anything beyond Rey. He’s grateful for the space that allows this little interaction to remain a more private affair, his cum still drying on her skin.

“Haven’t decided yet,” he lies easily enough. He knows exactly what he _wants_ to do but more importantly has decided exactly what he's _going_ to do the minute he gets his hands on her and Rey is not going to like it in the slightest, “Come on out and find out.”

Turning away from the tree Rey squares her shoulders to face him emerging from the foliage like the goddess of summer all tanned skin and flushed cheeks. Her hair has fallen loose in soft rolling curls that dance and hang around her shoulders, “Come get me,” her voice low, tongue drawn over her lip as she adds, “Alpha,” to the end of the taunt and waits. 

Ben’s nostrils flare, his eyes widen, blood singing in his veins. That dark alpha voice inside his head pushes against thinning restraints urging him to pounce. To hunt her, to mate her. To make her his forever. She can see it, these dark thoughts and how they plague him, she _likes_ it he realizes to some dismay, the way it tortures him so. She’s pushing and pushing until the leash snaps and Ben is left with no more than pure instinct and want, “You’re playing with fire Rey,” he warns, stalking some to the left as she holds firm her position. 

“Are you going to burn me, Ben?” Burn her, brand her, make her scream his name until her voice is raw. He wants to do all this and more, “My big. Strong. _Alpha_.” 

Hers… _her_ big strong alpha. A word which she's always used with such disdain, for now, falls from her lips with a sort of reverence that makes his skin feel sticky and too tight, “Come over here,” he tries nice enough but there’s a bite to his voice, an edge of need that she catches because her eyes are wide and then she’s off like a rocket. Her legs carry her across the grass and away from him, their friends on the deck erupting in a chorus of whoops and hollers as Hux’s voice calls out, ‘ _make him work for it Rey_ ’ whatever _that_ means. It doesn’t matter though because there’s something in his chest that tells him to run. Something in his brain that screams at him to take her. His legs move, arms pumping, the grass beneath his feet a mere suggestion of something soft.

It doesn't take long before he has her by the waist. His arms wrapping around her hips as he hoists her in the air, her back warm against his chest. She’s laughing and wiggling and it only makes Ben hold on tighter, to stop her from falling to the ground. She smells like sex and honey and sunlight and something else. Something different. It’s warm _, so_ warm, like the way her sun-kissed skin feels. She’s breathless as she kicks at the air helplessly squealing with delight as he presses his lips to her neck. It starts as a kiss but ends in a sharp nip. The kind that takes her breath away.

With a bounce, he has her turned around facing him. Her eyes are bright though her pupils are blown. He holds her chest to chest, her feet dangling just a little before he drops her and then hoists her up again with very little warning. With her belly planted on his bare shoulder he gives her rear end a careful swat, “Be good,” he grumbles but it only seems to urge the bad behaviour more. She wriggles and groans pounding her fists gently against his back as she giggles and hollers for someone to save her. 

She calls their names like someone might dare. Finn, Poe and Hux wouldn’t dream of getting involved. Hux knows the dangers at this point in the game and Poe, well, while he might not know specifics, his broken nose at the end of the school year is likely enough of a deterrent. If he thought she was serious the game would be over but there’s something in the way her heart quickens, the way her scent spikes and her laughter sounds almost like moan that tells Ben this is just them. They fight and they fool around and while their relationship has evolved into something resembling healthy Rey will always crave the thrill of this game they play. 

The ocean rolls and whispers against the land, the tide high leaving little shoreline to comb but that doesn’t matter, Ben’s destination is cold and wet. He walks into the water with Rey perched on his shoulder, the waves sloshing against his ankles and then his shins until it's up over his knees halfway to his hips. He has to make sure that he’s far enough out, that the water is the right depth before he lets her go. 

“I think you need to cool off little one,” Ben finally says kissing her flank before, without warning, he tosses her in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who can see where this is going? Anyone? Or am I being just sneaky enough?   
> Part of me thinks its entirely too obvious but I hope to have some surprises up my sleeve...
> 
> Come say hello on [The Twitter](https://twitter.com/rebelscumreylo) XOXO


	14. Yes, this is love for the first time, and you'd like to think that you were invincible.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “That’s definitely not what my alpha tells me to do,” he says rather distantly poking at the veggie burgers like a child poking at an oversized worm after a heavy rain. The fat kind that his father use to pick up and chase him with because Ben was never a big fan of things that slimy, “It’s more like—“ does he tell them? “like—“
> 
> “Like what?” Poe urges, a child on the edge of his seat waiting for the end of the story.
> 
> “Like, fuck her… bite her.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't going to post this but I figured why not?  
> I LOVE all your theories ahaha THANK YOU for being so incredible guys 
> 
> CW: Mentions of pot smoking - just to be safe

At some point in the afternoon people just sort of start showing up. A car load here, a car load there, Ben can’t quite pinpoint when exactly it happens, it’s suddenly there are people and lots of them. They’re kind of hard to avoid in that they are literally everywhere. People in the pool. People playing washer toss. People playing twister in the yard laughing as bodies collied and drinks are shared. Teenage faces that he knows he should have some sort of connection with but he just simply… doesn’t. Outside of the usual suspects of course but his friends are spread all over the yard like a giant game of wheres Waldo.  


The only person he can find with any ease is Rey and that hardly counts because honestly there’s some mystical force that keeps pulling him into her orbit. She’s everywhere at once and it makes him maddeningly dizzy. By the pool chatting with some people that Ben doesn’t recognize. Then laying in the yard with Rose, Kaydel and Jannah soaking up the sun until Conners manages to dump a leftover cooler of water over the sunbathing girls. It takes everything in Ben not to storm over and grab him by the throat but Rey is to her feet in a matter of seconds taking the empty cooler and slamming it down on Conners’ head. He looks pissed off but backs down as Rey squares off against him. _Atta Girl_ Ben thinks with an odd sort of pride, watching her ring out her sheer white cover-up. The one she’d thrown on after their little oceanside frolic.

She'd been so beautiful coming out of the water like some vengeful sea creature, eyes wide, mouth sputtering. Apparently the fact that sea water was in fact incredibly salty wasn't something she'd expected. They laughed and splashed and floated for a while playing coy and sweet with fleeting touches like two dumb kids in love. Not the horomal mess of teeange need previously displayed in the house. It seemed they could be both, caught up in one another the way new lovers do. Innamoured, infactuated, utterly incompacitated by their adoration and affection for one another. It stoked something in Ben, a fire that had only been a dim flicker of a flame, the idea of a life beyond his hand down her pants and her mouth wrapped around his cock. A life where her skin wears the marks of his teeth, broken and scared for all to see that they belong together. Because, now more than ever, with her laughter still ringing in his ears and that smile, bright and broad and full of teeth tattoed on his heart he knows, truly knows that she is the one. As much as any teenage boy can know that, that is. 

In the end Ben ends up avoiding conversations, hiding from Carrie and her inane stories about Drama class which Ben knows he wasn’t it. Or Lara asking questions about this year's hockey team. Do they think they’ll win? He hopes so but he can’t really think about ice or hockey or skating right now because he’s mentally trying to keep track of his little omega. 

In the end, he takes up post by the barbecue in order to avoid another round of Armitage Hux’s world-famous food poisoning. The redhead cannot cook to save his life which is fine because the task gives Ben something to focus on.  
  
Standing on the deck with Poe and Hux he’s able to watch as everyone mills about and by everyone he obviously means Rey. She’s sitting in a pool floaty with a red solo cup in hand that he knows is filled seventy-five percent with Jack Daniels, the other twenty-five with mix. He knows this because he encouraged her to pour the mix in when he’d popped into the house for another beer and saw her mixing herself a drink. With a kiss to the temple, he urged her to pace herself promising he would let Poe draw on her with a sharpie if she managed to pass out too early in the evening. 

They then spent a few minutes making out like horny teenagers, before breaking apart when someone inadvertently hit a blow-up beach ball against the kitchen window. A panting mess of hands and mouths, Ben was left with a wicked hard on that he was forced to tuck up against her belly in hopes that his dark shorts would hide the evident ridge. 

Now, manning the barbecue with Poe while Hux flutters in and out carrying buns and dips and condiments Ben finds himself struggling with the image of Rey spread out beneath him. Her laughter, like fairy bells chiming in his ear as she defends herself against Finn’s splashing, her cup held aloft to prevent any from spilling. Her long legs kick lazily in the pool as she takes another mouthful of her drink and Ben can’t help the way he imagines those lips wrapped around a certain desperate part of his anatomy. Or, how they were parted, pink and sweet and waiting as he came in ribbons all over her face. 

He doesn’t realize he’s growling until Poe swats at his shoulder, “Oi, Solo.” Dameron gripes, “What’s your deal?” 

Behind them, Ben hears Hux chuckle as he pulls the patio door closed and presents his friends with a platter full of meat. There are chicken and steak, hamburgers that have been expertly crafted begging the question who got their hands dirty because it sure as hell wasn’t Hux as well as sausages and another number of odd-looking pattys, “Those are veggie burgers, cook them last they burn.” 

“Who the fuck brought veggie burgers?” Ben hears himself ask hoping to avoid the watchful eye of Poe mother fucking Dameron with his nose for drama like a bloodhound. 

“I don’t know. I was asked if we could cook them. Can we?”

“It’s within our capability, yes,” Poe replies for Ben taking a swig of his beer, his finger looped around the neck of the bottle before he turns to face Ben head-on. Oh good, he’s put his big boy pants on, “Now you gonna tell me while you’re growling at my boy— my fri— My— Finn?”

“Your Finn?” Hux cocks a brow snickering to himself, “the two of you are a fucking pair, let me tell you. Sort your relationship shit out already.”

Misinterpreting Poe backhands Hux’s shoulder, “Dude, Finn’s never been with a guy before I’m trying to take this as slow as he needs.”

There’s a moment of silence, the kind that means someone is waiting for Ben to say something. He knows this because Armitage is staring at him his blue eyes blinking blankly, “He means you and me.”

For a moment Poe looks a little like a stunned sort of halibut, his mouth opening and closing, brows narrowed as he feebly tries, “Us—“

“Fuck you’re stupid.”

“And you’re a prick Hux, Ben what’s he talking about?” 

There’s a poignant sizzle as Ben helps himself to a handful of chicken breasts throwing them onto the grill without ceremony. Maybe if he ignores them all this will go away. “Yeah Ben, what _am_ I talking about?” apparently not. 

Stabbing a few steaks rather aggressively with a fork Ben makes a show of throwing them down alongside the chicken before slathering them all with a liberal helping of barbecue sauce and marinade while Poe starts in on the sausages and hamburgers looking more than a little confused, “Hux is alluding to the fact that Rey and I have been—“ they’ve been what? fooling around? involved? could he say they were in a relationship? was that allowed? Would Rey get upset?

“Fucking— they’ve been fucking.” 

“Jesus fucking Christ Hux, I already told you we only fucked once.” but semantics don’t matter because Poe is slamming his beer down on the arm of the barbecue, eyes wide and disbelieving.

“Fuck right off!” Dameron grumbles loudly before laughter, not the funny sort but the kind that denotes an overwhelming level of disbelief, bubbles up from Poe’s throat. He’s looking back and forth between Ben and Hux as though waiting for someone to suddenly holler, _‘just kidding!_ ’  
  
“You and Niima—“ he says it like he’s savouring the taste of the idea, running a tongue over his teeth before he offers no more than a casual shrug, “I can see it I guess. Why the fuck didn’t you say anything?” then, without thought Poe adds a muttered, “You really kind of suck at this whole friendship Ben.” 

It takes a moment, maybe two before Dameron’s accusation sinks in but when it does, it’s a lead weight in his gut. How? Why? “You’re fucking kidding me right?” He’s slamming the lid of the barbecue shut before Poe has an opportunity to back away, the sudden jarring knocking Poe’s beer off the ledge and onto the decking, it’s amber liquid pouring out in a slow steady gurgle, “I suck as a friend? Me? How many scrapes have I pulled your neck out of?” It was laughable really, the idea that Ben Solo of all people might be called out as a shitty friend by Poe the Big mouth Dameron. 

“Oh, you’re a stellar teammate, but buddy, you're a shitty friend.”

“Poe maybe that’s enough,” Hux has his hands up forcing himself between Ben and Poe but Ben’s hand touches Armie’s shoulder lightly encouraging the redhead to stay where he is. 

“No, I want to hear this, tell me, Dameron, tell me how I’m a shitty friend. I show up when I’m asked, I listen to your inane stories about fucking whoever it is you happen to be fucking and believe me that _is_ hard to keep up with. I pull your ass from the fire more times than I can count—“

“You don’t fucking trust us!” Poe finally hollers, his voice carrying over the music pulling in the attention of a pair of girls lounging on the step nearby. People stop when an alpha raises their voice. It’s a biology thing but Poe is also one of the most popular kids in the school. When he talks, people listen so to hear him bellow at someone like Ben Solo? Well, it gets a bit of attention. 

Ben can see Rey sitting up in her pool floatie, one hand dipped into the water carefully as Finn floats her around in idle circles leaning on the inflated edge of the unicorns ass, “Nothing to see here folks, back to your regularly scheduled underage drinking. Food will be ready shortly.” He hears Hux chime, before both Ben and Dameon catch the brunt of Armitage’s boney knuckles, “You two better settle the fuck down and I mean _now._ we’re not about to get into some fucking alpha pissing contest here.”

“S’nothing to do with being alpha’s Hux, you and I talked about this just the other night,” and suddenly Hux’s pale face flushes the oddest shade of lobster red, “Ben doesn’t trust us with shit.” 

“How—“ Ben tries but the look on Armitage’s face tells him that Poe isn’t the only one who seems to be feeling this way.

“Look, Ben, I don’t think you’re a shit friend.” That’s something at least, “But man we’ve been friends for years now- since we were kids really and you’re always just so…” 

“Fucking cold man, you’re cold. You go through all this shit and you don’t say fuck all to us about it. You act like we’re idiots when we start talking about girls. It’s a thing, man. Guys talk about girls or—“ Poe’s eyes dart over to where Finn and Rey are floating, “Or guys, people— we talk about the _people_ we’re interested in and yeah ok we embellish and talk about sex a lot but we’re fucking teenagers man. It’s _normal._ ” 

But Ben has never felt normal in his life. He’s lived his entire existence feeling like he’s too big, too moody, too aggressive. Too… _much._ When he’d presented it had been a nightmare. His mother had worried they were going to ship him away to one of those schools for wayward alpha’s because Ben was such a mess. He wasn’t the kind of kid that was caught jerking off in the girl's bathroom or anything but he was always starting fights and getting into trouble. He’d stressed his parents out until they managed to get him on the proper dosage of suppressants and by that point when the fog finally started to clear Ben decided he would do everything in his power to avoid being ‘ _too much_ ’ of anything ever again. 

The result apparently made him come across as… what had Poe called him? _Cold_?

It seems an odd time to wallow in self-pity but his friends don’t get it. They don’t get him. ‘ _You’ve never given them the opportunity to_ ’ a sad voice in the back of Ben’s brain provides curling around his spinal column like a cat as it purrs with a need to finally be understood. 

His eyes find Rey again, her tanned skin shining in the sun. Long limbs draped gracefully over the large white bloated unicorn and she smiles at him suddenly making his insides warm and his heartbeat flutter. She’s done this to him, made him… softer somehow. Warmer in a way that Ben had never really thought possible before in his life. Maybe his friends would understand now, or maybe they always would and Ben is just now in a place where he can actually see that. 

“I’ve got no idea what normal is supposed to look like.” Ben finally mutters, taking a long haul off his beer until it’s nothing more than foam at the bottom, “I’ve never really felt normal.”

“News flash dude, none of us has.” Poe’s trying to help, Ben knows that he is but the camaraderie angle is not going to work. 

Ben huffs quietly running his hands absently through his hair, pieces still stiff from the ocean water catching on his fingers, “No, fuck. Ok. What’s your dosage?” he asks quickly before he finds himself losing his nerve

Poe looks confused but Armitage answers with a quiet, “Twenty five milligrams.” the standard dosage for the average teenage alpha male. 

“Same,” Offering Ben another beer Poe takes the empties and tosses them in a blue bin just outside the kitchen door, “What does that have to do with anything?”

“Just shut up and listen to me,” there’s a heat burbling up along the base of Ben’s spine. Like a fire lit in his gut that’s burning it’s way to a fuse. The loose collar of his shirt is starting to feel uncomfortable, his cheeks warm as he pops the top off his beer and takes a calming mouthful focusing on the hoppy deep wood taste as it bubbles down his throat, “Do you know what my dosage is?” 

“Twenty-five?” Poe offers, because why wouldn’t he expect that. If a poll was taken of the alpha’s at this party it’s guaranteed with the exception of Gwen, the dosage of suppressants would be twenty give milligrams. 

“No, I’m at fifty-two right now, before school ended I was at sixty.” 

“Fuck right off, there’s no way—“

“Poe shut up and let Ben speak.” 

With a nod, Ben pushes forward, in for a penny and all of that jazz, “You guys remember what I was like in middle school. I was in fights all the time—” 

Both Poe and Hux both nod as Poe adds, unhelpfully, “You were a fucking terror,” 

“Well, when I presented it wasn’t surprising to find out I was an alpha. I mean. What else could it have been? But the regular dosages weren’t doing jack so we had to play around with it.” It had taken a solid year before Ben even started feeling comfortable in his own skin again. Sure a lot of the time the world around smells a little like styrofoam but the urge to hit things just isn’t there the way it used to be.  
He’s not about to tell them about Anakin and all of his family drama. The way Leia was terrified of the man and the hell he put Luke through. Stories Ben knows he’s not supposed to know about, things he’s overheard on evenings where Luke and Han stayed up drinking in the garage. The fighting. The fear and the relief met with guilt that everyone felt when the car crash took Anakin Skywalker’s life. No one ever came right out and said it but Ben always knew that it was a path his mother feared that Ben would someday walk. The reason that Luke always held him at arm's length. Ben was too much, he was like Anakin in that way and so he repressed it 

“Aren’t you afraid it’s going to fuck up your cycles?”

All Ben can do is shrug because no, he’s not afraid of that, he’s truthfully never really given it much thought before. He’s never had to, the alternative to the high dosages has always been unsurpressable rage and now with the added bonus of an omegas scent, Ben’s not entirely sure it would be safe for him or for Rey if he started to play around with his suppressants. Then again, everything had been going just fine until she stepped into the picture, “I was fine up until Rey,” Hearing the words out loud somehow makes the reality of it far more real, “Nothing has ever set me off quite like her before,” nothing calms him down like her either but he doesn’t dare bring that to light. It adds a layer to everything that Ben isn’t entirely sure he’s ready to face yet. 

“So… what does this have to do with you not trusting us?” Poe hedges carefully.

“It’s not a matter of trust, it’s a matter of making sure that I’m not being too—“ will they laugh if he says it? “Too _alpha_.”

“But you’re an alpha man, it’s kind of part of who you are. It’s why you're such a stellar athlete. It’s why you have the endurance of a fucking machine and that insane loyalty complex of yours.” Poe looks at Armitage with a sad sort of smile, “Back me up here man. This idiot seems to think that being an alpha is all bad.” 

“It is!” Ben pushes but it’s like pushing against a brick wall going uphill, backwards because his friends don’t seem to be biting.

“Ben, man. I think I get it but I also want to tell you, respectfully and all, you’re a fucking idiot. You have this moral code that’s basically been hard-wired into you. Some of your alpha traits are the best things about you.” 

“What—“

“Just shut up and listen ok.” Hux presses while Poe opens the lid to the barbecue and fiddles with some of the food flipping things here and there as the sauce drips down into the coals with a delicious sort of hiss, “You’re fierce man, sure ok intimidating but the way you went after Vos for Rey. That was legendary.”

“Got me into a pile of shit too, I was fucking arrested—“

“Sure ok, yeah but you’re always there. Like _always_. You complain and you bitch about it but I’ve never once gone into a situation worried about the outcome when I knew you were there because you don’t let shit happen to the people you care about.”

That heat is back, like a cat coiling around his belly, purring and preening at the obscure sort of praise, “Hux isn’t lying man. You’re honestly the most dependable person I think I’ve ever met. Yes ok you’re moody as fuck but you’re the first person I would call if I ever needed a friend.”

“A shitty friend—“ Ben offers, clearly bitten by Poe’s words. 

“Yeah ok, maybe that was a bit uncalled for but Ben, man. We got your back too, you know that right?” Without warning, Poe pulls Ben into a hug. Not the one-armed bro type but the kind where his body is pressed against Poe’s. Or, well with the height difference Poe is snuggled in against Ben’s chest. It’s not as awkward as he’d originally thought it might be until Poe starts nuzzling his cheek against Ben’s pec muttering something about ‘ _so soft and warm_ ’ and suddenly the moment is dead.

Hux smacks Poe up the backside of his head grumbling to Dameron about not being an idiot and keeping his eye on the burgers. Ben for a moment goes back to manning the steak, checking ever so often to see how tender the meat feels beneath his fork. He’s adjusting the chicken, pushing against to make more space for the buns when Poe finally manages to find his voice again, “So, like if you’ve only fucked once—“ There’s hesitation in his voice as he seems to peer around making sure their conversation isn’t about to be overheard. 

There’s a loud shriek followed by a round of boisterous laughter as Finn and Rose capsize Rey’s unicorn leaving her standing in the pool looking thoroughly saturated. For a moment Ben finds himself overrun with concern, the need to go to her side all-encompassing but then she laughs, that high pitched giggle that means without a doubt that Rey is having the time of her life. The sound settles into him like honey over warm tea, melting into that heat that's been coiling about his middle, soothing the beast that bucks against his chest. 

“Solo?” Hux’s accented voice pulls Ben from his rivery dragging him back to the smell of cooking meat and the sound of Poe’s exasperated ‘ _holy shit_ ’

“Is it always like that?” Poe hedges, bumping his shoulder into Bens, “Cause that’s kind of intense, I thought you were going to bolt for a second. Is it like that with Rosie, Hux?”

Ben can feel the way Hux’s eyes linger, his brows quirked into his hairline, “No—“ He offers slowly, as though trying to ponder something out “No it’s not. I mean we haven’t had sex yet either.”

“We’ve only had sex once,” Ben mumbles, tired of having to explain this over and over but once of five hundred times he doesn’t think it would matter in the end, “You really want to know?”

Poe unsurprisingly is the first one to answer, “Uh… honestly? Yeah. Kind of. I mean this is monumental for one, Ben Solo offering to share with us. Also, I’m kind of curious as to how creative you’ve managed to get without you know… sticking your dick in her.”

“You’d be surprised,” Ben tries to offer lightly feeling mildly proud of himself all of a sudden. His alpha settled contentedly in his chest purring like the beast that it is.

A long swig of his beer and Ben launches into it but not before eyeing up their surroundings carefully. While sharing with Hux and Poe is one thing, the idea of the rest of their peers finding out the intricate and personal details of Ben’s relationship with Rey is far less than ideal. He tells them about the different positions and places they’ve tried. How sometimes they just touch with no real intent other than to feel. He tells them about the different ways he’s learned to use his tongue, or his fingers, and how erotic it is to have her ride his bare thigh until she’s a quivering mess and his skin is coated in her.

There’s something freeing about opening up, about letting someone else know how good he’s felt all summer and how with that good comes the not so good. The places he’s learned not to bite at or scratch and in turn the way she’s learned his body too. It’s not all deep throating and face fucking but how careful she is with where she places his hands and when. How sensitive his nipples are, did they know that nipples could be so fucking sensitive?  
By the end of it he’s ranting, letting Poe chime in as they tend to the food. Poe, as it turns out, has gone ‘ _all the way_ ’ with Finn (Poe’s words). He tells them how different it is with a male and how he’s afraid he's going to accidentally pop a knot in Finn’s ass by accident. He admits too that he’s been on the receiving end more than once and it takes a lot of the pressure off because as a beta Finn can’t hurt Poe the way Poe can hurt Finn. 

Hux, as he’s previously stated hasn’t had sex with Rose yet. He tells them about failed attempts and mishaps and being walked in on by Paige which, while not as mortifying as Ben’s experience with his parents still sounds pretty fucking bad. They talk and they share and Ben suddenly feels just a little bit lighter. Like the beast living within his chest has finally fallen asleep. His alpha is quiet as he starts piling cooked chicken onto plates wondering what sort of food Rey might find herself interest in. 

His need to provide flaring to life in a rain of pride. She’ll be hungry after her swim in the pool her belly full of alcohol, ready for something solid to sop it all up. If it’s over baring she will undoubtedly let him know but Ben can’t help but hope she’ll accept his offering with a smile and maybe drop to her knees… no… nope. Bad Ben.

Instead, he turns his focus on the conversation at hand, the questions that both Poe and Hux and now asking him. It’s strange to be the one with the knowledge for once. The one who’s experienced things that his friends simply have not, “You know… when you knot inside her?” Poe asks, as though Ben has done it a million times now. He’s told them about the special care Rey takes with that certain delicate area of his anatomy. How it feels when she licks or sucks or teases it with her fingers but those are things they’ve experienced for themselves in one way or another. What they want to know is how it differs being with an omega and although he knows because honestly, he doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to forget it as long as he lives. He may never have sex with another omega ever again and it’ll be there, forever etched in his memory. That feeling that makes his stomach flop and his balls tighten with a desperate need for instant gratification. The words to accurately describe such a thing are lost to the sheer intensity of it all. 

“It was only once,” a broken record he feels it bears reminding them that he is not the authority on the subject.

“But, why not again?” Poe asks curiously, his voice taking on a soft sort of wonder that Ben has never quite heard him adopt before. It feels strange to hold the upper hand here, over Poe of all people. To have his cocky loud-mouthed friend look at him with such reverence. As though Ben has managed to climb to the summit of a very tall mountain while his friends are still left sitting two camps below. 

For a moment Ben considers not telling them, not admitting that he’s terrified or confessing all the things his alpha keeps whispering for him to do. But that’s it isn’t it? A part of the learning, of growing? He would have asked them the exact same thing if the roles were reversed because why wouldn’t you do it again if it felt so good?

“Honestly,” Ben starts, taking a breath in as his eyes float over to Rey in the pool again, “I’m fucking terrified.” Poe simply blinks as though Ben has had managed to say something utterly preposterous and he’s trying to figure out how exactly to tell him, “Guys— You— I— There’s this part of me that tells me things, you guys have it too right? The alpha voice, or your subconscious or whatever it is?”

“Yeah sure, it told me that knotting in a doughnut would be a good idea once,” Ben and Hux both turn to Poe, eyes narrowed as the other alpha shrugs, “What? Yours doesn’t tell you to do shit like that?”

“How would you even—“

“Poe… only you.” Hux manages, taking a plate of cooked hamburgers over to an open table. There are salads and dips and chips and scatters across its surface with a handful of veggie trays and slabs of fruit cut up for people to pick at. The barbecue is nearly done for the evening, the veggie burgers the only thing left to cook leaving Ben to wonder who the fuck brought those anyway. 

He stares at hostility, his belly grumbling with a need to be fed. Real food, not some plant-based substitute meat that would be better off served to the seagulls, “That’s definitely not what my alpha tells me to do,” he says rather distantly poking at the veggie burgers like a child poking at an oversized worm after a heavy rain. The fat kind that his father use to pick up and chase him with because Ben was never a big fan of things that slimy, “It’s more like—“ does he tell them? “like—“

“Like what?” Poe urges, a child on the edge of his seat waiting for the end of the story. 

“Like, fuck her… _bite_ her.” 

“You _have_ bitten her dude,” As though Ben needs Poe to tell him that, “If you’ve been hooking up all summer then you’ve been the one leaving the marks all over her. Don’t think we haven’t noticed. She looks like she’s been mauled by a bear.” He’d be embarrassed if he had any shame left, instead, there’s a dark part of him that preens, “Is that it? Like, some animal alpha thing?”

Without her white cover-up, in nothing more than the blue bathing suit, the one she picked out for you, the voice in his head provides Ben watches as Rey pulls herself up and out of the water. Her skin is the color of warm toffee, tanned and sweet from days spent in the sun. Long legs, her hip cocked to the side and there, on her inner thigh and down along her neck and shoulders are small marks left by him. The ones on her neck are old and easily covered up by makeup but the water has washed her skin clean leaving a trail of his need all across her body. Someone says something to her and she’s laughing again, stretching out with her arms above her head, hands reaching for the sky. The movement simply accents the sweet curve of her hips, the area where her hip bones stand out, her belly flat. A belly that should be swollen and rounded a stuffed full of him. Or maybe a child, their child, her scent changed to something not quite her, not quite him but something of them. Something they made and... _fuck_. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. 

“No,” the noise that comes out of Ben sounds more like a wounded animal than anything human because she’s wearing his marks on her skin like a badge. As if to invite the questions of where they might have come from. Questions that they know damn well are coming because how could they not? 

“I mean, yeah. Ok. I bite her,” obviously, as Poe and Hux now seem to see exactly what Ben sees, “a lot,” he adds for posterity, “but I mean like— bite her, bite her.” Hux's eyes go wide, his pale skin turning an odd sort of pink, Poe on the other hand simply swallows hard as Ben quickly adds, “And she bites me too, just so we’re one hundred percent clear.” 

The pair fall silent leaving Ben to feel like he may have said too much. Was he too alpha again? Maybe the wouldn’t understand, after all, maybe he shouldn't have…

“Your alpha tells you to… to _mate_ her?” Ben nods solemnly at Poe who swallows again, this time another mouthful of beer. His fingers are toying with the label, peeling a piece of it back as he stares off at Rey and Finn as though giving himself time to process, “Dude, that’s intense.”

“It’s fucked is what it is,” Ben offers up quietly, “You have no idea how fucked I’ve been these last few weeks. The thoughts I’ve had. It’s so fucked up. I’m seventeen, I shouldn’t want—“ He stops, pressing his lips together as he looks imploringly at his friends, silently begging them to not judge him, to treat him kindly in this, “I shouldn’t want the things that I want from her.”

“Like?” 

“Poe- shut the fuck up,” Hux interrupts.

“No, you fuck right off Armitage, Ben is the only one of us who’s experienced this. I want to know. Don’t you? What happens when you have sex with Rosie and suddenly you start having these urges? Don’t you want to know? To understand at least where it’s coming from. To feel… normal at least like you aren’t alone. I sure as fuck would.” 

In all the years Ben has known Poe Dameron's, he’s never known him to make so much sense. Suddenly it’s not being too alpha that’s the problem, it’s the reality that while sure they’re taught in school about designations and responsibilities and how to be safe. It’s a far cry from the reality of it all. No one tells them about the intensity of it all or how terrifying it feels when you’re in a position to have sex with a potential mate. How it feels like you’re going to lose your fucking mind if you don’t do something. Suddenly Ben realizes that this isn’t being too alpha at all—

“Its—“

“Shit, abort— abort! Incoming!” Poe, flailing his arms around, spatula waving in the catches the back of Hux’s knuckles to the side of his head. 

Armitage hissing a soft, “Stop acting like a fucking idiot.” 

“Food almost ready?” Her voice slithers along his spine like cold condensation on a fresh glass of lemonade. How he hadn’t scented her approach is a miracle in and of itself but Rey is there and she’s hovering. Her hands behind her back as she bounces on the balls of her feet. Rose, Jannah and Kay are all at her back watching the grill and the mounds of food curiously. 

“Armie, wanna make me a plate?” Ben hears Rose though she sounds entirely too far away. His attention hyper-focused now taking all of Rey in. Her sun-kissed skin, the red of her cheeks, the way her cover-up clings to her body still soaked from Conners earlier despite being out in the sun all afternoon. It’s slipped off her shoulder exposing freckled skin and one particularly purple bite mark that makes Ben flush. 

“You uh— want steak?” Ben grins as her eyes go wide, her lip pinched between her eye teeth as she nods grabbing a plate, holding it out expectantly. 

Finn arrives a few minutes later followed by a line of hungry and moderately drunk teenagers in various states of undress. Ben helps dish out burgers and chicken while Rey hops off with their plates before everything gets too picked over. He finds her a little while later sitting in a corner hovering over their food like a coyote guarding its prey. His feral little thing, licking her fingers clean as she lazily drags a roll through the marinade left pooling on her plate. 

They eat in amiable silence quietly bumping shoulders every so often as though just to remind themselves that the other is there. They stick to themselves enjoying the quiet as conversation dulls and the sounds of revelry start to pick up. She’s a comfort for him even now, a warm presence at his side as she chatters away periodically asking him how his day is going. Has he seen what Gwen is wearing? She’s destined to be a model when school is over. But no, Ben honestly hasn’t been paying attention. The only person at this whole godforsaken party Ben has been able to pay attention to is _her_. 

“Wanna smoke a joint with me?” She finally asks as Ben finds himself enjoying his last piece of steak. Medium rare, just how he loves it, the inside warm but still pink and delicious tender. He almost misses it when she asks, long legs stretched out in front of her as she leans back on her palms. Her face is turned towards the late afternoon sun, eyes closed and peaceful. Surely she hadn’t just asked him— “Poe rolled a few, Finn gave me one—“

Ben makes a face without realizing he’s making it, if it’s Poe’s then there’s a good chance it came from Snap and Ben has no interest in second rate skunk weed grown by some amateur in their parent's garage, “Give it back to Finn,” he grumbles casting her a wary side-eye.

“What? no—“ Oh… and the whine. That tickles his balls in a way that it shouldn’t. Her arm looping through his until her chin is perched softly on his shoulder, “Please Ben, I want to smoke a bit and I thought it would be fun if we did it together.”

Ben grins, “I never said I wouldn’t smoke, I’m just not smoke that shit.”

“And how do you know it’s shit?”

He’s pulling Rey to her feet, tossing their plates into a nearby bin as he drags her towards the house, “Trust me on this,” and she nods, following him back through the doors and down the hallway to where their room is located. “I brought some of my own, not a lot, one or two rolls.” Digging through his back he pulls out an M&M mini’s container popping it open to dump one of three tightly rolled blunts into his hand, “now?” 

Rey nods vigorously, “Can we?” 

“Not in here, come on we’ll go for a walk on the beach, I don’t really feel like sharing.” Her and the joint but he doesn’t need to specify, tucking one of the white rolls behind his ear before tucking the rest away in his backpack for safekeeping. When he's done he grins, holding his hand out in silent invitation.

When her tiny fingers slide between his, Ben pulls her flush against his chest. She’s still so warm despite being wrapped in her still damp coverings, “You ok?” He asks, pressing their noses together, her warm breath ghosting over his lips. She doesn’t speak but nods, rubbing their noses against one another before giggling and placing a soft kiss upon his lips, “Have you smoked pot before Rey?” 

She nods again, her hands pulling away to slip into the front pockets of his swim short. Warm and dangerously nimble fingertips cup his thighs and skirt across his sleepy cock making him growl into her lips. Giggling again she rubs lightly, just enough to tease, her tongue darting out to lick at his bottom lip, “Once or twice,” she tells him breathily, the heat radiating from her palms seeping into his now, very awake dick. 

“You keep doing that and we won’t be going anywhere,” he warns her with a grin, hands coming up to hold onto her biceps in warning, “Seriously Rey—” pulling back half a second Ben peers down at his eager little omega, her dark lashes fluttering, pupils large and dilated, the skin across her nose dusted with a fetching sort of pink, “Seriously, are you feeling ok? You’re really warm.”

“Oh just too much sun,” she grins, pulling back, “Rosie brought me a hat though, I’ll grab it and we can go for our walk?”

He watches her dart from the room, his eyes trailing after the sway of her hips. She’s doing it on purpose, being flirty and sweet, like she doesn’t care at all who finds them out. If she doesn’t then why should he? He wonders to himself following her out into the hallway. She’s back in a flash popping out of Hux’s room with a hop looking even more adorable then thirty seconds prior wearing some floppy sort of sun hat she’s holding on her head as she gives him a twirl. His cock twitches in appreciation and before Ben knows what he's doing he finds himself lunching forwards pinning Rey against the wall.

She shrieks gleefully tilting her hat back and her neck forwards as Ben’s lips ravage the soft swell around her trapezius muscle and the glad there that smells so fucking sweet it makes him sort of dizzy. His body holds her up, the pressure of his chest against hers forcing her onto her tiptoes as she giggles and whines out his name. He loves her like this best of all, her scent like sweet funnel cakes and honey, verging on the edge of needy. Her hips press forward pinning his cock between them, the traitorous creature begging for attention when all Ben wants to do is lavish her in affection. 

Her scent blooms beneath his tongue filling his mouth in the sweet taste of sugar and sex. He doesn't even particularly enjoy sweets and it's all he can do not to gorge himself on it. Not simply the lingering taste but the feeling, like a warm hug around his heart, fingers through his hair, feeling loved and cherished and something else too. Something pure he can't quite put his finger on. It explodes in his mouth and then settles like fire in his veins, his need to protect and cherish and hold onto this feeling for as long as humanly possible. Like coming home after an away tournament and falling into his bed after nights of being away. Like knowing he'll never be alone as long as he has her.

A soft groan into her neck has her giggling, her fingers along his neck, legs bracketing his hips. He can feel the warmth of her radiating from the apex of her thighs, damp even now with so little stimulation. His name is a breathy plea on her lips as he licks and nips his way across her neck until his nose is nuzzling her jaw and finally his lips find hers. The kiss is like breath in his lungs, the kind that has lips shifting and angling before they find their pace and it settles into something warm and easy. A practiced motion that they've learned over the weeks, something easy to get lost in. 

“Get a room you two.” The smooth female voice is like pouring ice water over a roaring fire. Ben can feel Rey’s gasp against his mouth as his spine stiffens and his heckles start to rise. Rey’s hands fall gripping forcibly at Ben’s shoulders when he slowly pulls away allowing her to ease back down onto her feet, “Never knew you as one to be so _public_ Benji.” 

“Ben?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly wrote and rewrote this several times now and the conversation had at the barbeque always happened no matter what I wrote so it seems it needed to happen. For Ben, I think it was important and I wanted to give a bit of background into the why of it all.  
> Up next, a confrontation, more drunk shenanigans and more teenagers being horny
> 
> Come say hello on [The Twitter](https://twitter.com/rebelscumreylo)  
> OHHH And I'm making a playlist for Playing Defence so if you have suggestions or thoughts please feel free to DM me or leave a comment. I hope to post it with the next chapter and will continue to add to it until it's done as the chapter titles are all song lyrics  
> Love you guys!


	15. Good times last forever I'll keep my heart with yours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You smell so good,” she whispers, “Are you purring?”
> 
> What?
> 
> Startled Ben peers down at her, the vibration in his chest, a strange flutter in his throat. Fuck. He is purring, since when does he purr?
> 
> “You are! Are you simply happy Benjamin Solo?”
> 
> His chuckle is a deep and resonating thing that rumbles up from deep within, “And high but yes,” and he whimpers, actually fucking whimpers when she gives him a little squeeze before going back to snuggling around his arm.
> 
> “Me too,” he hears her whisper and that admission right there, that is everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: underage drinking and drug (marijuana) use
> 
> This started out going in one direction and then took a detour and wound back where I kind of wanted it but not really.  
> You'll see!!  
> For anyone interested in the Playlist, I started one muahaha!! It can be found [here](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6xSwy5BORUSEDjWBjtYkSJ?si=YgxFTvVbTKuW8zr9T20uSg) on the Spotify. So far it's all the songs I've used lyrics from for chapter titles. I will be adding more.

Of all the things Ben had prepared himself to deal with at this godforsaken party, Bazine Nettle had not made the list. He had blindly hope that he could just avoid her like the plague as he so often did when they managed to circle one another in social situations. Like children on a playground he had his side and she kept hers. It wasn't that they didn’t get along, they did just fine it was more a common curtsey and honestly self-preservation on Ben’s behalf. It's hard to be sucked into a black hole of drama when you stay as far away from the epicentre as you possibly can.

Now however he’s staring down the maw of a behemoth of a supernova that's ready to take everything out in its wake. Fuck. 

How silly to think she would leave him well enough alone once she found out he maybe, possibly could be kind of seeing someone. He wasn’t fool enough to think that people weren’t going to talk. Alderaan was a small enough town after all and everyone knew everyone else business. So, of course, all it would take was someone seeing them together to assume Ben had a new _friend_. Not that the assumption was that far off and after the display at the drive-in a few weeks prior… well… there was no escaping scrutiny now. Not for a potential alpha and omega couple. 

Her presence hits him like a thorn in his show, the kind that works its way into your sock when you're out for a run. Irritating at first but then downright painful. Her voice like nails on a chalkboard as she calls out his name again, the soft lilting way she says, “Bennnnnnjiiii,” in that sing-song little jingle, deeply laced with a challenge coils itself around Ben’s brainstem and strokes and prods tauntingly at the alpha trapped within his ribcage. It growls in a deep-seated need to be let out, struggling against his need to stay calm with desperate urging cries to protect and guard his omega against the threat.

Beta’s aren’t usually much of a challenge and one could rarely even call them such a thing as a _threat_. Their scent is mild, usually something innocuous and maybe even pleasing but Bazine’s soft scent of sunscreen and bitch makes Ben’s nose itch. It’s the smell of too much perfume and desperation that coats the back of his nostrils like baby oil, dripping and thick and hard to get away from. 

“Ben, you ok?” there’s a tremor in Rey’s voice, a quiver really, soft and curious that makes Ben’s heart stutter. Like leashing a wild animal it settles around him like a choke chain and pulls forcing him to yield. A monster, _her_ monster to control as she sees fit. Nimble fingers trail up and along his neck until her wrists are just there at his glands turning ever so softly. The effect, however, is immediate. Her scent strong and wild and full of feeling settles into his bones like the warmth from a heated blanket. It’s home and it’s comfort to him. Like a hug. The sweet scent of pancakes and coffee, a full belly, a hand in his to hold. A soft kiss on the neck and whispered words that flutter through his mind like a chant. 

‘ _It’s ok. I’m here._ ’ It tells him without words because what they have transcends the need for spoken communication. Because, in the end, Rey is all he needs… right?

It takes him a moment for his tongue to start working. It’s too thick in his mouth as it works over simple phrases but settles on a simple, “Bazine—“ that comes across cold and almost bitter. An accusation that lingers in the air because this, he realizes with some sudden clarity is the beginning of a game that he doesn’t know the rules of. “What are you doing here?”

Her shrug is a careless thing, a simple throw of her shoulders that Ben almost misses because honestly, he can’t stand to face her. Facing her means turning his back on Rey and that’s something that for some reason Ben can’t seem to do. Her face swims in his vision as her scent melds into something sharp and deep and thick until it’s not just her or him but them. She’s scented him before but it’s never had this sort of heady feel to it. It makes him feel a little dumb, or maybe that’s the four beer, the excessive amount of sun and the fact that a lot of the blood in his body is still pooled centrally in his groin. He feels Rey’s thigh press against his erection, a solid mass of flesh that hasn’t flagged at all even in the presence of eminent bullshit.

That’s new. 

Ben attributes it to the impact that Rey has on him, the way his body is always ready to respond to her no matter what the situation. He can smell the slick between her legs, her thighs sliding together in a way that should be embarrassing but only makes his cock throb. His need to sink into that sweet wet heat thundering in his brain, chipping away at his common sense. 

This isn’t normal, it can’t be normal. This need he feels now… this pull and push like he’s being swept out to sea with the rising of the tides. 

Rey’s fingers disappear into his hair, her wrist at his neck. Thank god Baz is a beta because the hallway is ripe with pheromones now. There’s no escaping it, the air saturated worse than the locker room after a hockey game. Different too, sweeter somehow. The kind of thickness that can be tasted. 

Bazine with her long dark lashes and hazel eyes artfully done in heavy black eye make up is a vision of feminine grace. A black widow, a harpy even, her talons sharp and ready to pick off her prey, “I was invited like everyone else Benji,” that fucking nickname again, hurtled like a weapon until she finds a way to put a dent in his armour. Relentless. 

“Not by Armitage.”

“As if half the people here were invited by the Prince himself. Poe invited Snap and Snap invited me,” her lips curl around the name because she knows it’s bound to get Ben’s heckles up. A beta who fancies himself an alpha. Cocky, foolish, and an absolute loud-mouthed menace. The only person on the ice capable of causing more absolute shit than Poe Dameron. 

At the mention of Snap’s name, Ben finally turns, his eyes scanning the hallway to make sure the aforementioned asshole isn't anywhere near, “I came along, of course, thought it would be fun,” _Fun_ … there’s something there she’s holding back. Ben knows it, he can see it in the way she surveys him, the way her eyes take stock of everything in front of her playing her little games and trying to turn the situation to her advantage or when in doubt, fuck shut up. “Heard you might be seeing someone Benji, an omega at that, how quaint.” 

There it is, the barb, the hook that’s meant to lash into his skin and pull and pull until he’s baited and ready to respond. Instead, Rey’s fingers rub slow circles around the base of his neck, her touch lost in his hair as she stands tall and firm pressed into his back, “Had to see for myself,” IE she wanted to see what sort of drama she could stir up simply for her own entertainment, why else would she come to a party at Ben’s best friends home with a guy she knew that Ben hated?It seemed a little too on the nose for Ben’s taste, “Hi” Fuck, of course, she’d take it one step farther, why wouldn’t she talk directly to Rey? “I’m Bazine, you’ve likely heard about me from Benji here.”

“Can’t say that I have," Rey offers Bazine darkly, the fingertips of her free hand sliding around the cap of Ben’s shoulder in a tight and possessive curl, “Ben?” His name, that’s his name and Rey’s saying it. Why is she saying it? 

Casting a glance over his shoulder he’s met with beautiful earthy deep eyes swirling with curious alarm. Her lips are pulled into a quiet smile, upturned in the sort of sideways grin that doesn’t quite reach her eyes. She doesn’t know how she’s supposed to react, waiting for him to guide her through this and how exactly is he suppose to do that?”

The rational and irrational wave a war within his chest. On one hand, he needs to put as much space between them all as humanly possible. Then there’s the other part of him, the darker part. The one that whispers in his ear and encourages all the depraved and sexual things his body tells him is necessary. Thankfully Bazine remains blissfully unaware of the way Ben's scent has shifted, the darker undertones positively dripping with sex.

The best course of action he decides quickly is to leave the situation as fast and efficiently as possible, “Rey, this is Bazine,” he offers, holding his arm out so that Rey can take a step ahead, choosing for herself how much space she wants to put between her and Baz, “Bazine, this is Rey we were—“

“About to start rutting against the wall, I could tell,” Baz cuts in harshly, “He was never so forward when we were together. Lucky girl. I always had to beg for him to take control,” the soft whine in her voice is met with the forced pout of a thick lower lip. She’s playing it up. 

Ben can see the way the information slides into place like tumblers in a lock. The relationship that Bazine is alluding to seems to make Rey bristle with annoyance, maybe even anger. Her scent shifts as does her hand, sliding down along Ben’s arm until her fingers are woven through his. The palm of her hand is hot, so fucking hot pressed against his own and her fingers are so tiny that it makes him feel a little lightheaded. His precious girl. His sweet little omega, but for all her bravado the information still stings, her hand trembling just so as she steels her resolve and casts Bazine a friendly smile, “Never really been an issue,” Rey volleys and Ben wants to warn her to keep her mouth shut but the words are there dead on the end of her tongue, “Who is she, Ben?”

“Ohhhhh he didn't tell you?”

“And why would I?”

The feign hurt is a disgusting display that makes Ben’s inner alpha stir awake again like a wild cat prowling its cage. Rey is a mess at his back, a soft whimpers that rolls off into a growl erupting from her throat that stomps on Ben’s chest, “Ben you wound me,” a delicate hand placed against her chest, Baz prepares for the attack, “I was his first, we dated for a while, fooled around a bunch after that too. Didn’t we, _Daddy_?”

“Bazine,” it comes out more a bark making Rey start, her omega responding to the alpha in his voice while Bazine, the petulant little beta that she is, remains woefully unaffected, “cut it out.”

“Little omega needs to know what she’s getting into Benji,” full lips wrap around his name like she’s fawning over a pet, “have you had his cock yet? Fucking work of art, I’ve always wondered about the knot though, have you—?” 

Ben can feel the way Rey shudders, feel her body overheating with no real idea as to what exactly is happening or going through her mind, “You’re being a cunt Baz.”

“I seem to recall you _enjoyed_ my cunt,” Baz’s tone hardens as she squares off against him, “No omega pussy, granted. Does she milk you like a vice Ben? Is her pussy _magic_?” 

“Baz wha—“ The word is barely out of his mouth when it happens. One minute Rey is at his side and the next she’s darting forward, her hat flopping off her head as she moves, fluttering to the floor. Her stride is purposeful, a gasp escapes Bazine but then… nothing. Rey’s feet carry her away passed Bazine Nettle and her overbearing presence and questions meant to harm leaving Ben to stand stunned in front of his infuriating ex. 

“Touch sensitive isn’t she?” he hears Baz say as she straightens out her dress and adjusts a stray eyelash, “She really ought to-”

But the sentence is cut short as Ben takes a step forward. Pulling himself up to his full height, something he rarely ever does Ben looms over Bazine, his shoulders set, eyes wild, “You need to shut. Your. Fucking. Mouth.” Ben bites out harshly, a little too pleased by the way Bazine flattens herself back against the wall. 

“She’s not the only-”

“Shut. Up!” Be bellows, he can feel his jaw ache from the intensity of his clenched teeth as he presses forward. His palms hit the wall effectively pinning Baz in place. She tries her best to seem totally unaffected, and it would be cute really if it weren’t for the unbridled rage that’s simmering in Ben’s veins. Rage, that he hasn’t felt off the ice since he’s been properly medicated, “You can’t leave well enough alone can you. You pick and you pick and your stir up drama. What have I done to you to deserve this? What has _Rey_ done to you?” he’s breathing heavily before he realizes what’s happening, “We were good Bazine, we didn’t work for very obvious reasons but I thought we were good. You know damn well I don’t do this drama bullshit and your dragging my girlfriend into it too is really not a wise choice,” The world girlfriend echoes in his head. They hadn’t talked about that yet, he doesn’t want to assume… but wait. Yes, he very much wants to assume. 

He almost misses the out and out fear that flashes in Bazines eyes. Shit disturber as she might be, she’s seen Ben snap, _really_ snap. The kind of snapping that requires two adult males the size of Ben’s uncle Chewie to haul him out of a building. The kind of snapping that results in thirty some odd stitches and temporary hearing loss in one ear (for the other guy). The kind of snapping that requires emergency blockers and a good slap to the face. She’s tried to calm him down in the past and gotten hollered at for her troubles so her reaction is a sobering one. She doesn’t have to say the words, but he can hear them plain as day, she’s not just scared, she’s terrified. 

Allowing his arms to drop to his side Ben pulls away putting a good several feet between them again. Immediately Bazine’s chest begins to rise and fall, her breathing levelling out blessedly, “I’m sorry,” it’s a pitiful offer spoken with such derision one might think it forced but that isn’t something Ben can help. His instincts are going insane, he’s never felt this unstable before. His body cries out for a need to feel Rey close again. Her scent, he needs her scent like he needs air and it’s already starting to fade from his skin, “You didn’t deserve- just- just don’t cause shit for me. Please?” 

Bazine seems to consider a moment, her dark eyes eerily calm before she nods and plasters on one of those shit-eating, _you can’t get under my skin_ grins. “Good to see you’ve learned some control at least.” She bites out before pushing passed him, her shoulder clipping his arm, “See you round Benji!”

Bending to pick up Rey’s hat Ben takes off in a soft jog. He finds her down on the beach already, her stride purposeful and quick. It almost looks like she’s running away, or trying to at least. The sand shifting beneath her feet giving her very little traction. Panic swells and then crashes as Ben picks up the pace to find himself at her side. He doesn’t say anything but slips her hat back over her head and falls in step alongside her. For several moments they allow the sound of the waves crashing against the shore to be their only focus. Her scent has shifted again, hot but smooth- _welcoming_. 

When their arms brush against one another it leaves Ben to wonder whether or not it’s intentional. As though their bodies have simply shifted closer together. Then Rey’s pinky brushes against his, once, twice, again for the third time and this time it lingers long enough for Ben to wrap his fingers around her own joining their hands together.

The beach is an open coastline. On one side of them is a cliffside slowly eroding over years of abuse from storm surges and weather. Trees cling to the last vestiges of life as they shift down over the sliding soil pulling their tall friends with them. Some areas are a little cleaner, patches where cottages have been built. Private steps leading up to small summer dwellings littering the landscape every couple hundred feet. It’s less populated this way, the beach rockier, the sand not as soft. It makes for a nice walk though. The Northumberland Strait stretching out before them and the island of Naboo sitting like a shadow against the slowly setting sun. The world around them is painted in hues of bright orange and red making the ocean look like it’s on fire in the distance. 

“Red sky at night,” Ben hears Rey chime, the first words she’s spoken since the hallway. Her hand has shifted so their palms are pressed together, no longer linking fingers like children trying to find their way through the night. 

“Sailors delight,” Ben offers, giving their hands a little swing between them. Silence falls again but not the thick kind that tries to suffocate. It’s lighter somehow, something easy like the shifting tides, “Hey,” Rey stiffens, he can feel it through her arm and in the air around them making him stop in his tracks and pull her tight against his chest, “I’m sorry about her.” 

The careless shrug hurts more than he’d like to admit but still, he pushes forward, “Bazine lives for drama, that was everything to do with me and nothing to do with you-”

“Felt an awful lot like it had to do with me,” the omega comment he realizes, tucking a strand of hair behind Rey’s ear as she stares into Ben’s chest. Her eyes are large and beautiful brown like bronze in the light of the setting sun. 

Another thing that Ben’s alphaness has torn at. This beautiful creature left feeling like… well he’s not entirely sure and it’s making him a little crazy, “No, no it- look-” Desperate to find ground Ben sighs, “Hey, look at me,” his finger crooks beneath her jaw pulling her attention up, up, up until she’s looking him in the eyes. Everything shifts in that very moment. Her tanned skin flushed a rosy pink, her eyes lined with unshed tears. 

“I feel so fucking strange, I’m sorry. I’ve never felt like this before and I don’t know if I like it,” misinterpreting her words Ben shifts back just a little, attempting to give Rey some space. Space it seems she doesn’t want, her hands darting out to pull him closer, “No, no Ben-” little fingers grip at his bicep like iron as she holds him still and there at that moment it becomes blindingly obvious the power she holds over him, “I don’t mean you- I mean I do but-” 

It’s a broken plea, a cry for understanding but Ben isn’t entirely sure who’s she’s calling for his, or her own. She toys with the hem around the arm of his t-shirt, her fingers rubbing softly at the material as everything about her shifts and undulates. Her scent, but more than just the way she smells, the pull of it too. Like a pulse that her body gives off, a heartbeat that calls out to him.

When he feels it’s safe, Ben shifts a little forward, the sand moving beneath his flip flops until they stand, their feet bracketing one another. Hers look so small in her cute yellow sandals, a small sunflower sitting atop the junction between her big toe and the rest. They look like she might have purchased them in the children’s section, or maybe one of those stores that girls like to frequent. The ones he always avoided going into with Bazine. 

Ben has always had an aversion to feet. He doesn’t like it when people touch him with theirs (or much at all really) and he’s not a huge fan of his own. Far too large, toes too long. Feet are just weird, necessary but just, not something he really thinks of often and yet actively avoids. Now, on the other hand, he finds himself staring at the way her toenails are painted some chromey looking silver, or is it pink? 

Rose Gold. They’re rose gold he realizes and smattered with stray granules of sand. Feet, her feet, Rey’s feet and suddenly he’s struck by how much he really wouldn't mind if she put them on him. Not in a weird let me suck your toe kind of way but in that, ‘ _let me rub them I’m your boyfriend and I’ll do anything to make you happy_ ’ sort of way. 

He loses himself for just a moment thinking about how she’d probably be the type to slide her toes under his hip claiming to be cold. Or poke him during a movie with her big toe which would clearly result in him grabbing her and pulling her closer to prevent the onslaught of toe touching. 

A smile spreads across his lips, warmth filling his chest with a comfort and stillness that's been missing since their interaction with Bazine, and all from looking at her feet. 

It’s her fingers that draw him back into reality tugging the joint from behind his ear and popping it between her lips. Rey giggles, a hand on her head holding her hat in place as she peers, mumbling around the small roll, “I don’t want to think about it right now.” 

Part of Ben wants to press that they really _should_ talk about it but there’s this other part that really just wants to give her whatever she wants. It’s large and wild and tells him it’s his job. Plucking the joint from between her lips he replaces it in his own arching back and out of her grasp as she half-heartedly makes an attempt to get it back. The perks of being tall as fuck, “I’ll make you a deal,” he murmurs, white roll bobbing as he extracts a zippo from his pocket. It’s a heavy thing, a gift from his father meant to be some sort of honorary decorative thing when given when Ben presented. 

The ocean crashes in small white caps reaching further and further onto the shore as the world around them stills. The sound of the lighter seems to echo against the roll of the Atlantic as Ben casually flicks at the flint wheel igniting the end effortlessly. The first pull is harsh on the lungs, something he holds in his chest before he exhales off to the side, the smoke curling in tendrils of coiling grey wafting up into the air. 

He watches as Rey watches, a sort of strange thing, her gaze shifting in the brilliance of the sun. She doesn't hold her hand out, doesn’t demand the way some might, just watches him as he takes a few pulls before inspecting the joint carefully. 

“You’re canoeing,” she mumbles, plucking the roll from between his fingers with one hand while licking her index finger of the other. Ben can’t help the way he watches her little pink tongue or her mouth, or any part of her really, as she dampens the paper and then takes a smooth drag for herself. The paper crackles lightly as it burns and Rey takes another quick hit before demanding him move closer with the easy quirk of her finger.

Ben gravitates towards her, so little space left that it’s more of a bend, bringing his face down so it’s just where she wants it. Holding her breath Rey leans forward and their lips collide. It takes him a moment to realize what she’s doing but when his lips part and their tongues touch a rush of smoke and haze enter his mouth. It tastes like weed but sweeter, the underlying current of what makes Rey, Rey still there at the tip of her tongue. He chases after it greedily, pushing her forward, making her bend for him, lost in the delectable taste of her rose petal lips.

She giggles as she kisses him back, mumbling, “Don’t wanna- waste this,” against his lips as she hands him back the joint. 

On the contrary, Ben would happily let the damn thing burn out if it meant he was allowed to keep kissing her like this. Instead, he follows her lead and the two of them continue on their walk passing the joint back and forth between them. By the time it’s out, done, dead and her fingers are a little singed they’re a little buzzed up and on their way back. 

Rey runs through the surf kicking her feet, her sheer white dress fluttering in the breeze as she laughs. It’s a beautiful evening, the stars slowly twinkling into existence from their sleepy twilight beds but his world has never been more brilliant. She makes the world brighter somehow just by existing, this fierce little thing who holds his heart in the palm of her hand, “Ben!” She calls, pulling his attention to the way the moonlight shifts on the tide, the ebb and flow never-ending, as true to the earth as the air and the land. Rey laughs and she laughs before launching herself at him, missing the mark by half a foot and colliding with his arm instead of his chest. She clings to him like a koala wrapped around his bicep, nuzzling her nose beneath the hem of his shirt, “You smell so good,” she whispers, maybe to herself, maybe he wasn’t meant to hear but her words are there between them making his chest rumble. “Are you purring?”

What?

Startled Ben peers down at her, the vibration in his chest, a strange flutter in his throat. Fuck. He _is_ purring, since when does he purr? 

“You are!” one curious hand slides across his pec and down his stomach, down, down, down, an awkward descent as they make their way across the sandbar back towards the house. It tickles in a way that seems a little strange and then she’s cupping him, fingers tucked around his flaccid cock and curiously sensitive balls, “Not even hard, not horny.” No, but that’s about to change real damn fast with the way her thumbs moving, “Are you simply happy Benjamin Solo?”

His chuckle is a deep and resonating thing that rumbles up from deep within, “And high but yes,” and he whimpers, actually fucking whimpers when she gives him a little squeeze before going back to snuggling around his arm.

“Me too,” he hears her whisper and that admission right there, that is everything.

They wander and joke, bumping hips and chasing each other like children for the better part of another half an hour. Rey is smart and quick but Ben is determined, grabbing her about the middle to haul her up off her feet whenever he can get his hands on her. He spins her and she giggles while he peppers her face in kisses. It feels… right somehow to be able to do this out in the open where anyone might see them. It’s nice, calming in a way that soothes the burning need that gallops through his blood. Because, of course, that’s still there. If anything it’s mounting into something quite problematic. Each time Rey darts away Ben is forced to battle against a rising wall of panic that screams ‘ _don’t let her go_ ’ but she’s never far and it’s easy to quell. His mouth on her glads, scenting her, drowning her in him. It’s about the only thing that works.

One pass and he has her by the middle, spinning with such force, her belly pressing into his forearms, that it throws them off balance. They tumble to the earth, landing with Rey sprawled out on her stomach, Ben over top of her with his backside pressed flush against her hips. A dark voice tells him to pull her bottoms down and take her there. She wouldn’t likely resist but his mind is a haze of should I, shouldn’t I’s and Rey has herself rolled over onto her back before Ben can decide with any certainty which is the better course of action. 

“You’re so big,” Rey giggles, her fingers toying with Ben’s hair, “Soooooo big and so pretty.”

His inner alpha grumbles at the praise, an alpha should be strong, he should provide and protect. An alpha is large and fierce, an alpha is _not_ pretty. But Rey’s palm is cupping his cheek and her lips are parted just so beneath him, and maybe… maybe being pretty to her isn’t such a bad thought. He nuzzles into her hand and kisses her palm resisting the urge to collapse on top of her right then and there. His body is a lovely blend of almost too relaxed and very happy. His alpha confused and dizzy because there’s a heat between her legs that calls to him and she feels a little damp lying there like this. 

“Ben, fuck you’re so hard.” He hears her say, a hand-winding between them and she’s cupping him again, only this time her fingers stroke a steady delicate path, less stimulating and more teasing. Like coaxing a timid animal out of its den. Only Ben is anything but timid, “You could fuck me right here, knot me in the sand,” she laughs and then moans, biting her lip cautiously, her voice dropping an octave, “I really want you to fuck me, Ben.”

It’s the permission he needs, the invitation if you will, but rationally somewhere in the back of his deeply foggy mind, he knows that the idea, that deliciously perfect and amazing idea, is not in fact a good one. When he has her, when he feels her come apart on his knot, when she’s reduced to nothing more than a panting and needy mess for him he wants it to be when they’re both of sound mind to enjoy it. 

It might not be their first time but this time means something too. Like the christening of their new relationship and he doesn’t want to be high and drunk when that happens. There would be plenty of time to smoke a joint and fuck later on but now, this?

Fuck, when did he become such a fucking romantic? 

Rey’s giggles are bright as she reaches up over her head. They’ve managed to walk out quite a ways onto the sandbar, Hux’s cottage a light on the shore in the distance. Rey’s fingers dig into the sand marking divots in the earth that the ocean fills with rippling cool pools of salty seawater, “Tide’s coming in,” Ben mumbles pressing his nose against the side of her neck, “Mmm ‘gonna get wet,” his hands skirt along the contours of her body as his hips grind, slow and easy against her. It’s an involuntary thing, a response to his erection, her scent and the fact that she’s practically saturated through her bikini bottoms. 

Rey groans and giggles arching her neck for him in an act her can’t help but interpret as submission, “Already am,” she cants her hips to make her point the dampness saturating the front of his shorts. 

For a little while, they lie there, Ben’s knees sitting in soft indents in the sand made by his steady rocking. Rey’s soft gasps, like music to his ears as he licks and sucks a slow trail across her skin, nipping every so often that it makes her laugh. Light and airy and full of need, while greedy little fingers rover over his back pulling him closer. 

“Mmmm, Ben?” she purrs but his only means of response is a grunt, his mouth busy lapping away the swollen gland on the side of her neck. He’s so lost in thought, so engrossed in the taste of her that he misses careful little fingers pushing his shorts down. It isn’t until his cock is met with the cool air that he realizes something has changed, “Just want— just _need_.” 

Another groan into the side of her neck, “Tell me what you need.”

Her high pitched, “Alpha,” is a thing of beauty, a word that shakes his self-control down to the foundation. She’s softly tugging at his foreskin, pulling it up around the swollen head of his cock. A tease really but he can’t help but push into it, “Ben I need you,” 

His arms hold him up above her, elbows pressed into the sand on either side of her head. They’re close like this, barely enough space between them for her hands to move effectively and yet she’s determined to get what she wants. 

Cool air is replaced by radiant heat and the press of something wet that makes him clamp his teeth down in warning. His brain scrambles to remember which side of her neck her mating gland is on and reevaluate the tensile strength of his chomp. Heartbeat hammering in his chest he groans, a narrow miss but Rey’s cunt is there and it’s wet and it’s welcoming and she’s managed to tug the strings of her bikini free exposing herself to him. Above them, the ocean slips closer and closer, the top brim of Rey’s hat already a little wet. “Make me come, Ben, please?” 

Oh his sweet girl, his darling little omega asking him so nicely. The alpha in his chest purrs, the vibration a soft rumble as he nuzzles against her, “How? Tell me exactly what you want.”

For a moment Rey says nothing, the only sound between them the heavy panting of two bodies desperate for more and the slow roll of the ocean, “I’m not going to fuck you,” He chokes out as she squeezes just a little, “I’ll eat that pretty little pussy of yours though, do you want that?” pushing his hips forward he feels her hand guide his cock so that he's sliding through the slick between her widespread legs, “Do you want me to slide a finger into this hot little cunt while I suck on your clit? Do you want to come on my face until I’m drowning in your slick?” 

Putting all his weight onto one arm Ben wipes his hands off onto his shorts. Rey, beneath him, is nodding and nearly unresponsive begging and whimpering like he’s never heard before. Her soft ' _please_ 's' tug at something deep inside his chest as, without warning, he plunges a single digit into her awaiting heat. She arches, her shoulders pressing into the sand as a panicked cry of need erupts into the evening air like a sirens call threatening to leave him to drown, “I’m gonna make you come, sweetheart, my sweet girl.” Looking down between them he watches where his finger moves, disappearing inside her, his thumb brushing against her clit in a slow but fierce pace, “You’ve going to come for me, aren’t you? You just need to tell me how you want to come.” 

Her only response is a high pitched whine of his name and fingers that desperately cling to the back of his arm. SHh’s abandoned his cock in favour of hanging on for dear life, panting quietly beneath him, “Do you want to come on my hand?” she shakes her head no, her lip pinned between her teeth, “Ok, Do you want to come on my face?” A pause, a consideration and another no, her eyes wide and imploring, “Oh you greedy sweet little thing, you want to come on my cock?” She’s nodding her head as he removes his fingers from her cunt taking a slow and steady lick of slick saturated digits, “Fuck I love the way you taste,” it makes him feel hot like he’s being burned alive from the inside, like he’ll die without knowing the taste of her again, “Who’s cunt is this?” 

“What?” lust saturated and stunned Rey rolls her hips trying to gain back the friction she’s lost. 

“Who does this cunt belong to?” his mind spirals, words don’t make sense but the _need_ does and Ben is full of it. He needs her, he needs to know she’s his, that she knows she's his. He needs to claim her, to feel her skin break beneath his teeth, to feel her come and come and come until she’s nothing more than a saturated mess but he’s stuck on this. Pulling back his foreskin he hisses jerking himself off above her as her legs drape open at his hips, “Tell me who this cunt belongs to Rey,” slow and steady, his hand moves and then he’s pushing the tip against her opening, watching the way her folds split open like the petals of a flower swallowing up his cock head. He groans with a soft thrust watching the head disappear into her heat. Flirting with the edge of something dangerous. He said he wasn’t going to but he’s so incredibly close to it it makes his chest ache. 

“More!” canting her hips to try and take more of him in, Rey moans as he holds her down with a quiet tsk, his tongue clicking against the back of his teeth.

“Tell me, be a good girl and tell me who _this_ ,” he punctuates with the slow push and he’s in no more than an inch. Her pussy glistening in the moonlight as she opens for him, stretched and swollen and forced to make room, “belongs to.”

“You!” she finally cries, “Fuck Ben, please, please fuck me, my cunt— it belongs to you,” she whimpers, soft and low and so very desperate making his cock throb with pride. He did this, this is all for him. 

“Such a good girl,” he purrs pulling back, pulling out. A painful realization that he won’t be coming in the sweet heat she’s offered. He can’t. He wants to, he’s desperate for it but it’s a matter of personal pride. Instead, he places a hand down against his cock now laying flat against her petal-soft pussy lips. When he starts to thrust it’s slow, his shaft sliding along her slick opening so his flared crown bumps against her clit. He keeps the motion easy, careful, rubbing at the small pearl sitting atop its swollen throat as he moves, working her up to an orgasm that hits like an explosion. 

It doesn’t take long, her back arching up off the sand, his name a scream torn from her throat as she comes and comes hard. A gush of slick oozing forth from her as Ben pulls back and watches her pretty little hole flutter for him. It’s mesmerizing the way her slick drips out sticky and thick, coating her thighs and down the round of her arse cheeks. He’s so lost in it that when she moves he finds himself scrambling to grab a hold of her, desperate to watch just a little more. But then her mouth is on his cock and she’s licking her own slick off his shaft. It’s not easy or polished but feverish with need. Her lips swallowing him down as she cheeks hollow out and he’s disappearing into her mouth. Rey bobs her head a few times using her hand to pump, her grasp tight and demanding. Dark eyes flicker up towards him, forcing him back on his knees as she works a steady rhythm until he’s spilling down her throat. She doesn’t pull away as he comes, hitting him out of nowhere like a punch to the gut, a feral cry erupting from his throat as he arches into the heat of her mouth. 

Rey holds him there until he goes soft, her fingers softly stroking a knot that hasn’t had a chance to fully inflate. She stole it from him quickly and effortlessly with a smile, wiping the back of her mouth with her hand as she pushes back onto her haunches, “We should go for a swim.”

“What?” He doesn’t have time to gather her meaning because she’s pulling him up onto his feet securing her bikini bottoms with a pretty bow on her hips. Her hands make quick work of her cover-up and his shirt tossing them both to the sand before tugging him out into the surf. It’s still warm, the water sloshing around his legs as she laughs and pulls him further and further until they're waist deep and she's pressed against him with a kiss. 

“Don’t want to go back smelling like this,” she says offering him her fingers to scent and she’s right. Sex clings to her digits piquant and sweet.

They swim for a time, floating in the surf that creeps towards the shore. Rey inevitably forces Ben under, his reaction time slowed due to alcohol and marijuana but he’d likely allow it either way. Anything for her. They laugh and splash one another until someone comes down on the shore and calls them in. 

They walk hand in hand scooping up their tops as they make their way back up the beach. Poe and Finn stand at the base of a small set of steps casting them a skeptical eye as they saunter passed with no real explanation. The bloodshot eyes should be a clear enough indication but Rey takes a joint offered by Poe as they all fall in step.

They pass it amongst them, even Ben partaking because at this point, why the fuck not? as they walk up the grass chatting away happily. At some point, Ben grabs both Rey and himself drinks and they settle in around the fire conversing with friends. He’s dripping and laughing, actually laughing out loud as Rey sits perched on the arm of his chair. She has her arm draped lazily around his shoulder while his sits around her hip, loose hand rubbing easy circles against her bare skin still warm from the sun. 

A few more drinks had around the campfire and Ben is feeling it, he’s more than a little intoxicated with the alcohol running through his veins like a wild stallion. That’s the only explanation for how he ends up on the giant twister board painted on the law. Rey is laughing with her rear end in the air a little too close to being appropriate for casual public view but it’s a game and she's having fun while Jannah sits cross-legged in the grass calling out instructions, “Left-hand yellow!”

There’s a grunt and someone shifts, he’s not entirely sure who as there are four of them playing a fifth joining the mix with a laugh. Someone moves and they all sort of teeter, then Rey has her hand on his hip as Gabriel yells out, “No cheating Niima,” from his periphery he can see Rey throw Gabe the finger laughing as she lets her touch linger for a moment and then crash into the grass her fingers edging onto the yellow circle. Like this they’re sort of wound together. 

“Right foot blue.” Jannah pauses a moment and then starts to cackle, someone on the sidelines mutters, “he’ll never make that,” and though Ben isn’t entirely sure which 'he' they’re talking about he quickly realizes that they mean him. To get to the blue circle he’ll need to go under one leg or over another both making him bend in ways that Ben is decidedly not meant to bend. 

Someone laughs, a gasp, another body joining the cue. The makeshift mat is huge, designed to accommodate several bodies at once as everyone moves leaving Ben the last to make the attempt. He hops on one leg, bent at a strange angle so that he’s facing side on the body beside him. Rose, he realizes as she glares at him cautiously making him rethink his strategy. He needs to go under her leg but how will she react.  
“Be nice Rosie,” Ben hears Rey utter softly prompting him to attempt the move with as much grace and care as Ben Solo can muster. His leg turns, his knee bends and his toe slips across the grass. There’s a hush and then a shout and he figures he must have done it because Rey and Poe are laughing and there’s a cheek nuzzling his knee.

“Sorry Solo, itchy nose,” Poe chirps with a chuckle.

Someone else laughs a, “Sure you are, Poe the Hoe Dameron at it again.”

“Twister your game Poe?” 

“I happen to be very flexible, isn’t that right Finn?”

Ben can hear Finn’s groan as he grumbles, “Keep me the fuck out of this,” and spins the wheel for Jannah, “Alright assholes, right foot green,” and everyone is laughing again.

Ben fights down the urge to punch Finn in the jaw. Honest to fuck, is this really happening? He just moved his right foot from green to blue and now it’s going back again. 

“I don’t make up the rules guys— oh shit is that a good idea?”

Trying to look around Ben’s view is obscured by Rose’s chest and in an attempt at being a decent guy, he looks instead at the grass beneath his feet. It’s dark, the moon high but their game is illuminated by the lights of the deck and a pair of tiki torches flickering nearby. 

For a moment nothing happens, everyone trying to figure out the best course of action. When Ben finally gets his foot back on green he’s in a distorted bridge and his shoulders are protesting violently. Athletic as he might be alcohol is making this game incredibly difficult. Rey laughs though and Ben’s heart soars. 

“Left-hand yellow,” an ' _ouf'_ is let out by someone in the middle and the pretzel of bodies wobbles a little to the left. Rey is laughing, shouting Ben’s name but he’s not entirely sure why until her hand slithers across his thigh a little slower and far bolder then he had anticipated. When her hand finds yellow it leaves her shoulder resting rather close to his still damp groin the heat of her… different some now. 

“Ben, if I hit you in the head I’m sorry,” wait? hit him in the head? Ben looks up to see Rey hovering beside him, her legs crossed in a strange arc as she reaches for the yellow that’s somewhere close to his shoulder. She smiles at him and leans in to nuzzle her nose against his cheek making the whole group teeter. 

But if Rey is there then who?

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” that’s Poe, he knows the voice and he’s moving, knocking someone over in the process. The person who is close to Ben’s groin wobbles and Ben hears a soft, ‘ _she wouldn’t_ ’ coming from the crowd. Something is happening and Ben can’t particularly see and it’s making him nervous. Rey, it seems has caught whatever is happening as a sold weight pushes Ben’s hips to the ground and a pair of hands plant down firmly on his thighs. It seems innocent enough at first until fingertips start to knead inching closer and closer to his midline. Rey’s scent shifts from sweet and giddy to something dark like bitter chocolate and marshmallows. Even in her anger, she smells good enough to eat but…

Alcohol addled his brain lags through the events trying to catalogue everything that’s happening. He’s laying on his back and someone is touching him. 

“Fuck someone grab Rey,” Poe hollers and there’s a scurry of movement and a cry. The hands on his thighs are gone in an instant but there’s another body over top of his pinning him down. A female growl and Rose is saying Rey’s name over and over. What the fuck is happening?

Dizzy from the impact and not entirely sure what direction is up from down Ben tries to hold his head up but his shoulder is firmly he'd in place by Rey’s shin, her weight settled across his torso. Someone is laughing though, bright and airy and… oh fuck

Fuck.

She wouldn’t be so stupid, would she? 

Alcohol and hormones aside wasn’t the warning enough?

“Stay the fuck off him,” he hears Rey growl, his omega is upset and it’s making his inner alpha pace. He needs to do something but he’s too drunk to really put up much of a fight, convinced if he pushes her off he’ll hurt Rey in the process.

“Jealous, little omega?” a feminine voice purrs. 

People are moving and Ben is sure he hears Snap in the background, “What the fuck Bazine?” yeah that’s Snap and Ben still wants to punch him in the jaw, that’s fun. 

“Don’t touch me Poe,” Rey barks and Ben wants to reach out and grab her, he struggles to sit up, pushing her forwards a little only to have to roll onto his side. It’s too little too late however because her heat is gone in an instant and Ben is left groping for her, his head spinning with the quick change in position. 

There’s a scream, a holler, a loudly exclaimed, “Oh fuck,” and a sickening wet crack. 

The world rights itself as Rey stumbles back onto her ass in Ben’s lap and his arms encircle her immediately inspecting her for damage. Her shoulders, her neck, his wrist scraping along her scent glands making her shudder. She’s bright, her scent sharp, her body feels like she might be burning up as she grumbles and struggles against Ben’s ironclad grip. 

“Shhh,” he soothes, nuzzling at her neck with his nose as his world becomes sharply focused on her and her alone. She’s in danger, or no, not in danger, she’s struggling with something though. Anger but something else, protectiveness, jealousy maybe? She bites his wrist as and he holds her tighter making a split decision to bite the gland on the side of her neck, the one that won't join them together instantly but he holds it in a warning before soothing the burn with his tongue. 

It's intimate but Rey stills instantly going limp in his arms as she starts to whimper and whine. Her wriggling against him has left Ben in a rather awkward predicament, his cock hard pressed against her swimsuit clad ass. “Shhhh,” he tries again, his hands pushing her hair back out of her face forcing her to turn so she’s facing him, her legs draped over his hips in a strange sort of koala hug. 

With her, in this position, he hooks his chin on her shoulder and takes a survey of the chaos that’s started to unfold. People have crowded around someone sitting on the ground. That someone has their hand to their face obscuring it from view but that someone is undoubtedly Bazine. There’s blood on the front of her pristine white dress and Snap is standing over her looking a bit like a fish out of water. 

“What the fuck did your girlfriend do, Solo?” 

“Defended what’s _mine_ ,” Rey bites out bitterly. Ben places a hand on the back of her head, stroking her hair in an attempt to calm her down, rocking her slowly as she burrows in close. 

“It’s ok little one,” Ben coos softy, his words meant only for her. Something is off, something is wrong. Her body trembles against him, her skin burning up, almost feverish to the touch. 

She clings to him as Poe and Finn carefully help Ben onto his feet, Rey still held securely against his chest. Her knees dig into his hips as she scrambles for purchase like a child clinging to a parent after a bad dream. 

“Alpha,” she whimpers nuzzling closer, her nails digging in to the point that her hold on him is actually painful. Nails cutting into flesh leaving small bloody half-moon marks as she mouths at his neck. “Alpha, alpha, alpha,” she repeats her bathing suit bottoms a saturated mess pressed against his belly. 

Her thighs are sticky and starting to drip when Poe hisses, “Get her out of here man. We’ll handle this. 

All eyes are on them as Ben carries her across the grass and up to the house taking her straight to the bathroom across the hall from where they’re staying. He turns on the shower, cold water, that’s what she needs and steps right into the frigid spray. Rey cries out, shuddering against him but eventually, her hold on him relaxes and she manages to take to her feet. His hands trail across her flesh inspecting every inch he can. Shoulders, flank, neck, face. Untying her bikini straps to allow them to fall against the bottom of the shower in a saturated _schwick_. Her tanned skin is a pretty pink, still hot to the touch as she cowers against him using his height to block her from the spray. 

“Don’t like it, Ben,” she whimpers tugging his shirt up and over his head. Her cheek finally pressing against his pec once she’s managed to free him of the fabric. She makes quick work of his shorts until they’re both standing bare beneath the icy shower spray. “M’tired.” she mumbles, “I just wanna sleep.” 

Ben quietly works his fingers through her hair carefully detangling saltwater snarls. Reaching for the shampoo he massages it along her scalp as her arms wind around his torso. She clings to him as he washes her hair and then moves on with a soft cloth drawing it over her back, down her belly and then finally up between her legs. 

Rey hisses her displeasure as he works to clean away the slick that’s gathered. The heat of her cunt a stark contrast to the cold shower water. Carefully he adjusts the temperature, maintaining more cold than hot as he washes her clean. She’ll feel better like this he tells himself tugging her out once all is said and done to dry her off with an over-sized fluffy towel. He tucks it beneath her arms as he ties one at his waist and hangs their wet suits up to dry. 

No one is in the house when they make their way across the hall to their bedroom. The light from the moon spilling in through the open window as Ben pulls back the covers and encourages Rey to crawl into bed. He fiddles with his phone as his little omega sits looking completely dwarfed by the towel and the duvet, her hair wet and clean and dripping down her shoulders. “Ben,” she whispers and whatever it was he was doing is suddenly unimportant because Rey needs him. 

She needs him as they crawl into bed, needs his hands on her body, his skin against hers. She needs his thigh between her legs which she rocks against until she’s panting and needy and falling apart against him. She need’s his words of praise telling her she’s a good girl, the perfect little omega. Telling her that he loves her, the first time he’s uttered the words out loud. But, she’s sleeping then, her mouth nose pressed against the notch of Ben’s throat as he cuddles her against him. She doesn't hear it but that's ok, it won't be the last time they fall from his lips.

It isn’t long before the world outside goes back to its low hum. Their friends keep drinking, the world keeps spinning but Ben’s world is right here curled up against him. It doesn’t matter that they didn’t get to have sex. It doesn’t matter that Bazine’s nose is probably broken (the little bitch deserves it). All that matters is that Rey needed him and he was there for her. _Is_ there for her. Even if something keeps tickling the back of his brain telling him he’s missing something because no matter what it is he’s sure, like everything else he’ll help her face that too. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GEEEE I wonder what could be happening... oh my... haha  
> I know it's kind of predictable but I'm trying to keep something surprising! As always, let me know what you think!  
> And, come say hello on [The Twitter](https://twitter.com/rebelscumreylo)  
> 


	16. I am thinking it's a sign that the freckles in our eyes are mirror images and when we kiss they're perfectly aligned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Ben, what the fuck.” Hux hisses.
> 
> “Uh fuck— So— I need Rose.”
> 
> “The fuck you do—“ Armie puffs up a little, his alpha on display as he moves to fully block the doorway, yeah they definitely had sex. “What is that smell? Is that— you smell— fuck,” ahhh there it is, the alpha brain tugged forward by the small of a female going into heat. Hux covers his nose quickly, “Jesus Ben, fuck is that Rey?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... here it is... it's large and kind of smutty. I don't entirely know how I feel about it, I've been in a huge funk so... let me know friends?  
> There's a weee bit of breeding kink in there but I felt it kind of necessary as Ben has been struggling with his feelings in that regard for a while now. I've updated the tags too to reflect

Ben is lying in an ocean, warm water sloshing at his legs as he starfishes and stares at the open sky overhead. His body feels weightless, the warm salt air sweeter somehow, filling his lungs with contentment and need, like the blissful vacancy of a post-orgasm high. His belly feels sticky like he’s just come on himself but that’s ok. That’s normal really. It happens when you fall asleep after masturbating. 

Only when was he masturbating? 

It doesn’t really matter, his brain a mushy space filled with beautiful happy thoughts. The clouds overhead rolling passed as a voice calls out to him in a warning. It’s too little too late though as a boat bumps into Ben’s flank pushing him forward as Poe blusters out apologies speaking in a language foreign to Ben’s ears. When did Poe learn to speak french so fluently? It comes across like a badly dubbed movie as Poe starts to wave his arms in the air and holler. 

Something touches Ben’s leg and then tugs on it violently pulling him under while Poe waves a dopy goodbye. He’s naked and cold but the water feels warm wrapping around his legs and up over his groin like the soft hands of a woman. He starts to panic but he can breathe underwater as he sinks down into the inky black of bottomless nothingness. The thing on his leg he realizes _is_ a hand, small and delicate it roams up over his calves then his thighs as a face bleeds out of the darkness. It’s Rey, her eyes wild dark things ringed with gold, her belly swollen and round as she paws at Ben’s body tugging him close. Her mouth on his cock swallows him whole as bubbles explode out her nose and suddenly she can’t breathe.

It’s obvious what he needs to do, hitching her legs over his hips until he’s buried within her slick wet heat. Rey sighs and gasps her eyes rolling back in her head as Ben holds and thrusts and pushes life into her. She kisses the air from his lungs leaving him spiralling as her belly bumps against his and her teeth nip at his lower lip. Nipping and then biting and pulling. The world around them swirling and swirling.

When Ben wakes it’s with a start, he’s warm though and still wet making him think that maybe he’s still floating in the ocean. There’s a heat around his groin and his dick is out and it’s hard and it’s being cradled by something warm sticky. _Someone._

Why is he wet?

Eyes closed, his conscious mind breaks through the muddled and heavy fog of sleep and tries to put the pieces of the evening together. Swimming, drinking, smoking a game of twister. Bazine's broken nose and Rey. Fierce and wild and desperate. She had been warm, she was warm but why the fuck is he wet? He didn’t piss the bed, did he? He’s never been that drunk before but it’s happened to a few others. 

His mind slugs through the possibilities at hand, trying to rationalize the wet sheets beneath him as he begs his eyes to open. They flutter, light beading at the edges as his senses start to rouse. The room smells— off. The scent heady and sweet and tangy, like sex but— fuck did they have sex last night? He swore to himself he wouldn’t. He didn’t want their first intentional— planned— whatever the fuck this was- he didn’t want it to be under the influence. He wanted to be able to remember her coming on his knot. He wants to make sure he lasted longer than twenty fucking seconds too and that remembers it because he can’t fucking remember it. What a bloody waste. 

But, there’s a mouth on his throat, lips covering his mating gland, licking and sucking and his hips are moving of their own volition. It feels a little like fucking, but he knows he’s not inside her. His hand twitches, reaching out to find her hip to find she’s slung her leg up over his and the space between her legs is saturated. Could that be?

“ _Alpha_ ,” her soft voice whimpers in his ear.

Fuck.

Ben’s eyes shoot open, the world a muted grey in the dim light of early morning. The sky is a mottled mess of heavy cloud cover hiding the sun and casting the world in a humid sort of haze. The bed is wet because Rey is wet. She’s fucking soaking, slick coating her thighs, thick and sticky and so fucking tantalizing that it takes a moment for Ben to convince himself not to push her onto her back and drown himself between her thighs. 

Carefully he runs a hand up along her back, over her shoulder to sweep it across her sweet damp forehead. She’s burning up, her hands groping and grabbing at anything she can reach as she mumbles almost incoherently. “Need— ngh,” she groans as his cock hitches at her entrance and she’s wiggling her hips trying to force him inside, “Alpha, I need it. Need you.” She’s licking his neck the way a child licks an ice cream cone, messy and desperate, “It feels— it feels—“ a harsh breath is drawn in, a hiss through her teeth, the sound someone makes when they accidentally stub their toe only the only thing she’s managed to stub is her clit with his cock head still working desperately to reach her final goal, full penetration. “Ben, Ben I don’t feel right. Ben. Ben it hurts. Ben. What’s happening to me.” 

He hears himself whimper pulling his hips back so his cock is folded up against his belly. Rey’s nails scrape along his bicep aggressive and desperate by way of response. He can feel the bittersweet burn of nails tearing into his flesh and groans in response. He shouldn't like that. It seems such a strange thing to enjoy but he’s rutting against her belly, the voice in the back of his mind urging him to pin her down and take her now. He needs his suppressants. His control teetering on the brink of a snap. A snap that he can’t afford because the last time he went into a rut like this things got broken. Lots of things and now there’s an omega present and he’s pretty sure… 

Rey’s nose presses into the juncture between his ear and his neck, kisses placed high as her tongue wraps around his earlobe and sucks it into her mouth with a wet and sloppy slurp. Her breathing is heavy and hot coming in pants as she nuzzles in close, “Ben— Ben,” a pause and she’s groaning, “alpha,” making him shudder, “Ben I feel empty and it hurts. I need— I need you, Ben. Your cock, your knot. I need you to fuck me please Ben, fuck me so it doesn’t hurt anymore.” 

Shushing her he presses soft kisses on her shoulder inhaling sharply the sweet scent of her, the vanilla and sex and white chocolate and— “Fill me up, Ben. Come inside until there’s no room left. Fuck me until I’m so full of you that you drip down my legs. I need to be full of your cum. Alpha please, _please_.”

“I know sweetheart,” he tries but it isn’t enough, it’s like arguing with a drunk toddler, not that it would ever be advised to give a toddler alcohol but she’s relentless in her pursuit for his cock pawing and pulling and tugging until Ben has to roll her onto her back and pin her down.

Like this is even more dangerous though, his cock hanging, a swollen and desperate thing between them, the edges of a knot already starting to form. She wriggles her legs kicking out, biting and snapping her jaw as she groans incoherently begging and begging and he’s seconds from giving in. His need to feel her snaps like a live wire, his alpha purring as it stretches out and readies itself for a hostile take over. He will have her, he must. She needs him, him and only him and he needs to keep her safe. Safe and locked on his knot away from— _fuck_.

The house is full of half-drunk teenagers, this can’t happen here. Every alpha at the party will be knocking on their door. He needs to get her out of here. He needs— he needs— he doesn’t know what he needs because he’s never done this before and it’s only now starting to settle in just how over his head he actually is here. He’s pretty sure he knows what’s happening but there’s only one way to be certain. Ask an expert.

“Rey,” Ben pushes, her head snapping back and forth against the pillow as she tries to push and pull all at the same time begging him for just a little more, “Rey, look at me.” heavy lashes flutter open and he’s face to face with the dark eyes of a lusty omega in heat. 

“Ben—alpha please, please it hurts,” she cries, her whimpers of pain hooking into his belly and ripping him wide open. 

“I know, I know little one,” A kiss to her forehead feels like a match lit against his lips, her skin so warm it burns so sweetly, “I need you to listen, listen to me, Rey.” His words, however, fall on deaf ears as she thrashes and kicks and begs for his touch, “Rey— _Rey_.” Firmer now he catches her gaze, eyes wide as he digs deep into his gut and pulls out a firm, “ _Stop,_ ” The alpha command snapping through the air like a gunshot. The effect is immediate. Her body still, limp as a fish staring up at him wide-eyed and sweet.

“Ben,” soft and deliciously sweet she pouts and licks at her lips struggling between her need to feel everything and her need to listen. 

“Good girl, sweet girl,” he says in a rush, one hand moving to stroke her cheek as he continues to hover over her, “I need you to listen can you do that? Can you be a good girl for me?” an obedient nod breaks his heart, “Ok, I need you to stay here, I’m going to leave for just a mo—“

Wide-eyed Rey shakes her head vehemently, “No— no!” 

“Yes, just a moment, I promise. I’ll be back. I need to figure out how to keep your safe.” he thinks a moment and then adds, “your alpha just wants to keep you safe ok?” another nod and she’s nuzzling into his hand sweetly, “Ok little omega, such a good girl for me,” Ben presses their foreheads together before stealing a quick kiss and slipping off the bed. He can feel the way her body tenses up, the lack of him in her space a near painful thing. 

He makes short work pulling on his boxer almost foregoing them all together in a frustrated attempt at trying to locate them. It’s hard pulling them up over his legs, his thighs sticky and coated in slick. There’s no time to rectify that now, the thought of leaving her longer than necessary landing like a knife to the gut.

Out in the hallway is like a whole other world, the air, clean and crisp rolling in through the open windows straight off the ocean. The house has that, ‘ _just before the world comes awake_ ’ feel to it. Quiet and still but for the soft sound of snoring coming from a few rooms away. Down the hall and in the living room Ben can see someone’s foot dangling over the edge of the couch, the light above the stove still glowing brightly. 

With one last look, Ben tiptoes passed the bathroom and down to the closed door he knows belongs to Hux’s bedroom. For a minute he feels bad about waking his friend up so desperately early but a soft whimper spurs him forward. Rapping his knuckles against the door frame lightly Ben waits. He waits and he waits and he waits a little more until irritation and panic settle warmly in his chest and his knuckles hit wood a little harder than strictly necessary. There’s a muffled curse and then a thud before the shuffle of feet against the door is thrown wide. Armitage looks— well he looks pissed and rightfully so as he stares out at Ben in eyes laden with sleep. The room beyond smells like sex and alcohol and for a moment Ben thinks ‘ _good for you_ ,’ but his purpose here is an important one, “Ben, what the fuck.” Hux hisses.

“Uh fuck— So— I need Rose.” 

“The fuck you do—“ Armie puffs up a little, his alpha on display as he moves to fully block the doorway, yeah they definitely had sex. “What is that smell? Is that— you smell— fuck,” ahhh there it is, the alpha brain tugged forward by the small of a female going into heat. Hux covers his nose quickly, “Jesus Ben, fuck is that Rey?”

Ben groans but it comes out more like a whimper, a reminder that he’s away from her and she needs him, “I think—“ he wets his lips trying very hard not to start hyperventilating, “I think she’s going into heat— Is in heat. I need— Rey needs Rose. What the fuck do I do?”

“What do you mean, what do you do? You get her the fuck home to Luke’s and let him deal with it.” But that idea physically hurts. Is it possible for an idea to hurt because that one does, like someone is trying to pull his heart out through his belly button, “You can’t be thinking of helping her thro— oh oh fuck no Ben you are? Oh fuck. Do you really think that’s a good idea?” 

“I don’t know what else to do, I feel like maybe— I feel like I could have triggered it? or maybe— I don’t know!” his panic peeks making his hands jitter, “I don’t know!”

“Ben you can’t—“

“Turn around Ben,” comes a soft voice from deep within a pile of blankets at the centre of Hux’s bed. Ben can only kind of make out Rose in the centre, a sleepy head peeking out as she stretches her arms up over her head, “I’ll go check on her just let me put something on.”

Hux gives Ben a look as if to say ‘ _well get on with it_ ’ and Ben turns around only turning back when Rose gives him the go-ahead. She looks tired, her hair a mess, standing in Hux’s black button-down from earlier in the evening. It barely covers her thighs and maybe in any other circumstance Ben might show some merger sign of interest but not now, “How far in is she?”

“I have no idea, she’s hot, like really hot and she was hot last night too. I thought it was from the sun though and now she’s in pain. I can’t stand seeing her like this. Rose, is she ok? Does— does it hurt?” 

For a minute Rose looks exasperated but that annoyance melts into pity with a sigh, “Going through a heat alone is hell.” He almost wishes she would sugar coat it a little because honestly, she’s only making his panic worsen, “It’s not pain per se more like an incessant itch you can’t scratch. Nothing you do gets rid of it. She’s going to be miserable. Do you know if she has any toys?” Ben must look stunned because Rose simply rolls her eyes, “Obviously not here but at your uncle's place?” 

“I— I don’t know. We’ve fooled around with a vibrator a few times.” 

“All summer with this shit. It’s been you all this time. All the bites and the marks—“ Ben nods and Rose just shakes her head, “Whatever— just don’t fuck this up. I’ll go check on her.”

“She’s not wearing any clothes,” Ben calls out as Rose pushes passed throwing an absentminded wave over her shoulder as she knocks on the door, softly saying her friend's name leaving Ben and Hux alone in the hall. 

It’s hard to steady his breathing, hard to think beyond the pinhole focus that he’s managed to wedge his concertation into. Singularly focused he finds himself pacing while Hux reemerges from the dark of his room, his cellphone in hand, “According to this going through heats alone is miserable.

“Rose said that.”

Still, Hux presses reading off the information provided from whatever quick google search he’s managed to pull up, “— but it’s easier on the omega to have an alpha— shit— Ben.”

“I love her, Hux.” It all comes out in a rush, the need to say it, to have someone hear it. To have someone understand what's driving him to this madness. But that’s what this is. It’s madness. He’s seventeen and he’s standing in the hallway of his best friends summer home planning on helping his seventeen-year-old, freshly minted girlfriend through her first official heat. Yeah. That’s the definition of insanity right there.

“Ok, so— what's the plan?”

The incorrect answer, the one Ben wants to give goes along the lines of, he fucks her, mates her and doesn’t let her leave the bed until he’s sure he’s managed to knock her up. Instead, he whispers, “I don’t know.”

Hux continues his deep dive into Reddit looking for threads about teenage alphas seeing teenage omegas through their heat. His search is surprisingly unhelpful. The majority of the answered threads comment on how irresponsible such an act would be arguing against the idea with such fervour that Ben has to tell his friend to shut up because it’s making his skin crawl. He’s antsy enough over all of this, he doesn’t need to be reminded that this is without a doubt a really bad idea. 

Rose thankfully peeks her head out the door, “She’s like in it, in it guys. There’s no moving her, it would be a really really bad idea. Who’s all here anyway? Are there many alphas other than you two, Poe and Phas?”

The idea of other Alpha’s set’s Ben’s blood to boil. Even standing so close to Hux is proving to be a struggle and if it weren’t for Rose’s scent all over him Ben might have an issue— “Rosie, baby cakes, what do you think Ben should do?”

Narrowing her eyes Rose seems to consider the options, “All summer— really?”

“Since we got into that huge fight at Dameron’s She’s been sneaking over and staying the night.”

The confirmation seems to be all that’s needed to sway Rose to Ben’s side, “Right, well, she’s calling for you. She— she needs you Ben but you can’t do this here. It won’t go over well and it could trigger the other alpha’s. Actually— Armie back up a bit.” 

Hux seems to comply taking a few steps back into the bedroom, “But I’m not attracted to—“

“— not about that babe, it’s biology. The scent of her heat could trigger a rut for you guys. Ben’s already there.”

“I’m—?”

“An idiot Ben Solo. You’re going into a rut. I can smell it on you. It’s—“ covering her nose Rose gives Ben an apologetic frown, “It’s potent. We need to find a place where you two can hole up for a few days and ride this out.” Hux snickers and Rose backhands him, “Don’t be an asshole.” 

“Mabels!”

“The maid?” both Ben and Rose chime.

“Brendol had a small apartment made for her over the garage, I mean she never actually uses it. That should be good?” 

Together they formulate a loose sort of plan. Ben returns to the room to find Rey, three fingers buried knuckle deep in her pretty little cunt. With her legs spread wide, it puts everything on display. The swollen pink lips and pretty little pearl sitting there waiting for him as she writhes and groans on the mattress. After some gentle coaxing, Ben manages to get her calmed down enough to dislodge her fingers from her cunt and wrapped up in a blanket. Rose, in all her wisdom, encourages Ben to take the slick soaked sheets with them. The scent will work to comfort Rey but it’ll also prevent anyone else from having to deal with it and triggering a mass heat/rut situation. Hux makes a joke about his party turning into a giant orgy but the joke doesn’t land and he's made to go on ahead to make sure the housekeeper's apartment has everything Ben and Rey are going to need.

Rose is a huge help, she organizes a basket of food, bottles of water and manages to gather up all Ben and Rey’s things in the time it takes Ben to get Rey scooped up in his arms. They’re on their way down the hallway when Dameron pokes his head out asking whats going on. Ben nearly punches him right in the nose all over again but Rose, again has their back ushering Poe back into his room with promises of filling him in later. 

The sun is burning through some of the cloud-cover as Ben settles Rey into the mattress pulling a pile of sheets and blankets around her in a protective little cocoon. Now that they’re alone the severity of the situation comes crashing down around Ben’s head. He’s been locked in an apartment on the verge of a very hard rut with an omega he wants to mate who is going through her first real heat and how the fuck is this his life?

“Ben— Ben,” the groaning starts again, painful moans that tear through her throat as she wriggles in the mess of sheets coating everything beneath her in a thin sticky film of slick. “Ben— I need.”

He needs time to think but she’s pawing at him desperately. He needs to buy himself time, rational time to think because those moments are becoming fleeting. He knows he can’t bite her, he shouldn’t bite her but beyond that, it feels a little like being thrown into the deep end without a life jacket and only being given loose instructions on how to swim. Theory is fine, he understands the theory but there’s so much more to it that knot her and don’t bite. 

It takes two point five seconds to make a decision gently urging her back onto the bed. “I’ve got you sweetheart don’t worry.” he purrs lowing himself between her widespread legs. From this angle her body looks like an offering, wet pussy glistening, tummy contracting, breasts bobbing with ever shift and delicate movement. He’s barely touched her and already she’s moaning, begging for him to do it, to take her to make her his for now and for always. 

Fuck. if that doesn’t sound like the best idea ever. But, no. No, he can’t do that so he lowers his mouth to her slick saturated core and blows softly against her. The effect is something beyond, her body opening like a flower, back arching, heels digging into the mattress. She’s a glowing ball of sensitivity which only promises to make his job easier. He can make short work of this and then figure out what he’s supposed to do. Come up with a plan or better yet, phone a friend so to speak. 

Lowering his mouth he savours the first pass of his tongue. One long lick that gathers up slick on his tongue letting it pool n his mouth before he swallows. She’s never tasted like this before. Never this sweet. It makes his balls ache, his cock twitching between his thighs because this isn’t enough. It’s a travesty that he's not buried deep inside her but rational thought wins over saturated desire— for now. 

He circles her clit with his tongue, languid sweeping motions that make her sigh and pant beneath his touch. Everything seems to be too much and it's perfect all at once, Her hips rolling as he works, taking his time. 

Her babbling has stopped, the room around them filled with soft gasps, wet slurps and wild panting moans, the softest, “ _alpha_ " falling from her lips as he dedicates his full attention to her beautiful cunt. Dragging her legs over his shoulders he quickly adjusts the angle preening at the way her breath hitches and her voice becomes a bright and needy thing. 

His pretty little omega, his beautiful, fierce queen. 

A growl rolls from deep within his chest, the vibrations feeding directly into her cunt. She likes it, taking the broad width of his tongue over and over like a kitten lapping at milk. It’s easy to get lost in this, in her, the way she responds when he rolls his tongue, pressing just the tip beneath her clit before giving it a flick. His tongue dancing in circles swirling around as her hips buck against him and his tongue slips inside wriggling it around a little. His omega moans, her thighs trembling as they squeeze down holding him in place. As though he has anywhere he would rather be at this very moment. 

He takes it as encouragement changing up his pace, alternating attention between her clit and her sweet opening. Slick drools out of her coating his face as he sucks, his mouth swallowing as much as he can while his tongue curls inside her. Her “ _alpha_ ” becomes muttered “ _Oh god, oh my god_ ,” with his name a breathy accent at the end, his name, _Ben_ pulling him back into focus. 

His rut is a dark thing that pulls at his consciousness, an urge that starts his hip rutting against the bed desperate for friction of some kind. Stimulation. He needs stimulation, something to stop him from fucking her through this. Not that he doesn’t want that because there’s nothing he wants more but too soon and he could really fuck this all up. 

Instead, he slides his fingers in, not one but two because she’s begging for more. Squirming against him so she’s practically fucking his face, moving where she wants him the most. Her hips angle and his tongue slips down curling around the tight ring of muscles that he’s never had the courage to penetrate yet. 

A soft, “Oh— ohhh,” escapes passed her lips as Ben crooks his fingers and pushes his tongue against her. This area too is saturated in slick, her thighs a sticky mess as her cunt leaks the wet nectar. There’s no end in sight just, a veritable buffet for Ben to sate himself on, “Can I have here too?” he ponders aloud.

Her answering, “Yes— fuck— please, anything,” like music to his ears, “Alpha, please— please I’m so close,” he can feel the way her pussy flutters around his fingers working her harder, short firm thrusts taking her breath away as he gives himself a moment to catch his breath, nuzzling her inner thigh before worshiping it with soft kisses.

“My gorgeous girl, with her pretty pussy made for swallowing me whole. You should see the way your cunt takes my fingers Rey,” the words pour out of him, some alpha drivel that Rey would probably hate. She’d hit him later and tell him he was a dirty pervert for the things he said, but she likes when he talks dirty. He’d even been reading a few articles on the internet on how to better improve his linguistic skills in the bedroom. An effort that seems to be paying off.

“Can’t wait to see that way your pussy swallows my cock,” another soft kiss against the inside of her thigh and he gives her clit a soft and slow lick earning him the pressure of her heels against his back urging him closer, “What’s that little one? You want more?”

“Fucccck” she whimpers, “on your knot— I want— mmmnnhgh please— please— please—“ the soft moan that follows is the thing that breaks him.

“I’ve got you, baby girl,” he purrs, his tongue swirling around her clit again as he pumps his fingers in short bursts. Slick dribbles out down over his fingers pooling in his palm the wet noises echoing between her legs as he sucks and licks and fucking devours her. Her breath is coming in short puffs accented by a deep moan that slithers down his spine like warm honey. Everything about her changes in a matter of seconds. She’s writhing beneath him, simultaneously rolling her hips and pulling his hair.

It might hurt if it wasn’t for the sweet way his name is falling from her lips, his darling girl so needy for him. His movements become unbalanced, trying to find the right pressure and speed but she’s moving on her own now, using his tongue and his fingers as she sees fit, “Harder— slower—more, more,” he tries to comply pausing to slip in a third finger which has her crying out. An actual cry, a sob laced with need that ends on a laugh as he pushes hard into her, wiggling deep so he can pet her inner walls. It has the desired effect, her chest bobbing, face disappearing behind the swell of her breasts as she whimpers and cries out and tightens around his fingers. 

“Ben!” and oh how his name sounds when cried in the peek of pleasure, driving him to take her clit between his lips and suck. His palm is wet now, slick dribbling out over his wrist as her legs twist in the sheets and she’s bucking against him. There’s no rhythm to this now, no practiced skill, just fingers moving as he sucks and he sucks until her hips drop back against the mattress and the contracting of internal muscles becomes a soft sort of flutter.  


He can hear her panting, feel the shudder of muscles that have been pushed too hard as her legs slide off his shoulders and she’s left before him a mess of fluids and blissful release. “Ben,” she whimpers, her fingers twitching in his hair, loosening their hold but not letting go. “M’sorry.” His heart can’t take the tear that rolls down over her cheek or the way she closes her eyes and sniffs hard like she's fighting off a cold. Not a cold, no but the overwhelming well of emotions that's starting to swell within his poor omega’s chest. Her scent is strange, needy and thick and tinged with fear making him react without thinking. He doesn’t bother to wipe off his face or even his fingers as he pulls up over top of her kissing his way across her sternum, along each collarbone until he’s cupping her cheek with a slick soaked palm and pressing gentle kisses against her mouth. 

“Hey— Hey,” he tries but she won’t open her eyes, “Hey come on, I’m here, right here.” the edge of her heat seems to have cleared enough that rational thought has slipped through its cracks, “Rey, come on love, look at me,” the term slips from his lips as he barrels through pricking like cold water dropped down the back of his neck. Too close to an admission but maybe it’s what she needs? 

Rey doesn’t seem to care that his hand is covered in her, or that he’s leaving a sticky trail of slick across her body. She sniffles again and kisses him back, hard. Hot tears pouring out beyond her eyes and onto the blankets adding to the already damp mess they’ve started. “M’sorry, m’sorry.” she mutters, “M’a bad omega. I should have known. Now— now you’re stuck with—“

“Hey, hey, no. That’s not how this works.” He nuzzles his nose against her cheek before kissing down across and along her neck until his lips find her mating glad. Be it by instinct or desire Rey arches into the touch opening herself up to him with the sweetest of offerings. Her scent is wild, untamed and raw, the small gland, just a patch of flesh a little softer than the rest nothing strange, usually not obvious at all, is now raised and pink, swollen and agonizingly sweet beneath his nose. His tongue sweeps over it and Rey shudders beneath him, “I’m here, I’ve got you,” Ben promises, unprepared for her arms around his neck pulling him down against her. A soft mouth everywhere, kissing and licking all across his neck, as she cries quiet tears until her body stops shaking.

“Don’t leave me?” 

“No, never— well— I’m going to slip into the kitchen for just a minute ok?” Rey sucks in a breath preparing to argue. Her hold on his shoulders tightening as he pulls back, “I’ll bring you something to nibble on and some water. There are blankets in the closet, Rose said you might need them.” 

Rey nods, wide-eyed as Ben rains kisses down across her face, brow, cheeks, nose, mouth and smiles, “Such a good girl, my little omega,” he purrs ducking off towards the kitchen but not before grabbing his cellphone from his backpack because, _fuck_. He is in way over his head. 

The sun has crept up high in the sky burning off the morning fog. The earlier grey a mere tease, it’s going to be a beautiful day. The kind of day meant to be spent on the beach, swimming in the warm Atlantic and lounging in the sun. Only there won’t be any of that happening for them. No, this day will be the first in what Ben is sure will be a marathon and he needs to pace himself because from everything he’s read this could be days worth of sex.

As a teenager, the prospect should be thrilling but the reality settles much differently. His mind awash with concerns like, what if he can’t give her what she needs? What if he's a bad alpha? what if one of the other knot brained idiots tries to get in and Ben gets in a fight and almost kills the guy over protecting his omega or— or what if her implant fails. His alpha purrs and chuffs barking its approval. Snapping its inner teeth at the mere idea of that little thing meant to prevent his seed from becoming something real within her belly. How dare it exist, how dare she have it. Irrational anger and agitation swells and crashes as Ben falls back against the love seat in the living room bouncing once as he scrubs his hands over his face smearing slick across his skin, because right... his hand is coated in it, then again so is his face.

He’s in way over his head and he needs help. Serious help, not Reddit posts and theory but experience and there’s really only a hand full of people he can think might provide him with the assistance he needs. None of which are ideal.

Glancing at the clock he sees the numbers 9:46 burning into his eyes in bright green digital. His dad is likely on his second coffee by now and it’s Saturday? No, they’re Sunday now so his mother is likely out for her morning walk. The one she says takes her two hours when they all know she’s down at the local tearoom complaining to Ahsoka and Amilyn about life and men and— well whatever, It doesn’t quite matter what in the end because it means Han will be home on his own. He could call? but the idea of hearing the disappointment in his dad's voice is somewhat unappealing and so Ben settles on texting his father instead firing off a quick.

** <Ben:** Hey, I need your help with something **>**

Before hastily adding.

< **Ben:** but mom can’t know. **>**

It takes a moment, the sound of the ocean rolling against the shore giving Ben something to focus on before his phone vibrates against his palm. The sticky one of course because he wasn’t smart enough to wash his fucking hand like an adult. 

** <Han:** That’s a tall order kid. What did you do? **>   
** ** <Han:** You didn’t get arrested again did you? **>**

Of course, he’d think that. 

** <Ben:** Rey’s going into heat and I think I triggered it **>   
** ** <Ben:** Or maybe we triggered each other **>**

** <Han:** You need to get her home to Lukes, I’ll give him a call to warn him you’re coming. **>**

Panic flares hot and deep in Ben’s chest, his hands shaking as his thumb hovers over the touch-sensitive screen of his phone. He knew it would go this way, what was he thinking? Better to ask forgiveness than permission. He could have played it off like he was staying with Hux for the week. No one would have known but them…

 ** <Han:** Wait **>   
** ** <Han:** Ben, no, bad idea son. Bad BAD idea **>**

** <Ben:** You’re saying I shouldn’t help her through this? She’s in pain Dad and at this point I don’t know if I can walk away from her. **>**

** <Han:** Fuck. Are you going into rut? **>**

He could lie, but what would even be the point this far in. 

** <Ben:** Yes **>   
** ** <Ben:** honestly it’s taking everything in me to sit here and actually text you instead of going to her right now **>  
** ** <Ben:** please just tell me what to do **>**

For a minute he thinks it’s all been for nothing, that his father's radio silence means he’s gotten in his car and is headed their way now. It wouldn’t be unreasonable really. Any sane parent would do it but Han Solo has never been what one might consider the role model for sane parenting. He’d once tried to teach a twelve-year-old Ben how to hotwire a car claiming it was a valuable skill to learn. How was that any different than this?

 ** <Han:** Fuck, your mother is going to kill me **>  
** ** <Han**: Has Rey had a heat before? **>  
** ** <Han:** No, right, she just presented so she had a soft one and now this so this one shouldn’t last that long **>  
** ** <Han:** I don't think **>  
** ** <Han:** Shit, I don’t know it’s been a while. I could ask your mother I suppose… **>**

_Fuck._

** <Ben:** Don’t involve mom at all. **>  
** ** <Ben:** Rose said three maybe four days max **>**

** <Han:** I’ll tell your mother you’re staying at Armitage’s. Just, if she calls you you damn well better answer it. **>**

** <Ben:** Yes, ok, sure but what about Rey? **>**

A low moan slips through the open door of the bedroom, the place where he left her to wait for his return. Her scent is so thick that it almost feels like a tangible thing, something he can savour, something he needs. Hands shaking Ben waits for his father's reply, forcing himself to stay put, his alpha screaming, roaring in his chest, begging, pleading to be let loose, to go to her. The stupid boy needs to step aside and let an alpha take over.

 ** <Han:** Ok, look, she’s going to be needy and scared and really biology is going to tell you what to do but keep her surrounded in your scent. If you need to leave for whatever reason and I really really don’t suggest you do that if you’re serious about riding this out with her. But if you do need to, make sure she has something of yours. It will make her feel safe **>**

Pretty straight forward, another moment, another breath, another moan that shoots right to his dick and his father is texting him again.

 ** <Han:** Keep her hydrated, she’s going to lose a lot of fluids and she’s going to fight you on eating and drinking because honestly it’s not going to seem important to her. It is your job as the alpha to make sure she has what she needs. **>  
** ** <Han:** There will be periods where she will be a little more lucid, those are the times you ply her with food and drink. Tell her it will make you happy. That should help. **>  
** ** <Han:** Soft things, blankets, towels, anything soft. Some women like to nest, some don’t you’ll need to figure out what kind Rey is. **>  
** ** <Han:** just be there for her Ben. Tell her she’s amazing and beautiful and all those things. It may seem silly but it’s important, really really important. Tell her you’re proud of her, how good she is. It’s going to seem a little silly but just do it. Are there other alphas around? **>**

** <Ben:** Gwen is here, Hux and Poe too. A few others may have stayed, I don’t know. I got her into the maid's apartment and we’re going to stay locked here. **>**

** <Han:** Ok, good, don’t let any other alpha’s near her. **>  
** ** <Han:** for both your sakes. We don’t need you arrested again **>  
** ** <Han:** And Ben, for the love of god don’t make me a grandfather **>  
** ** <Han:** Benny, just take care of that girl ok? I’m proud of you. If you need anything then please call me. It can be intense and scary your first time. You’re going to feel a whole lot of things and that’s ok, just trust your gut and keep her safe. Keep you both safe, she’ll tell you what she needs **>**

With a strained and heavy sigh, Ben reads the text messages again and again. It all seems pretty self-explanatory. Nothing weird, nothing new from what the forums had said but somehow having it come from his dad made Ben’s anxiety mellow greatly

** <Ben:** Thanks dad, Love you **>**

 ** <Han:** Love you too son **>  
** ** <Han:** I mean it, no grandbabies. I will deny this conversation ever happened. **>  
** ** <Han:** I know nothing **>**

Ben’s unsure whether or not he finds his father's blasé approach to the whole situation a comfort of a concern but either way the reality of the situation is far more pressing. His skin feels itchy, his cock is beginning to ache like nothing he’s ever experienced before. A hard throbbing, a reminder that it has a job to do and he is currently not doing that job. What is wrong with him?

“Ben?” a gentle lilt, a question, a call to the alpha thrashing in his chest. She needs him and he needs her and this is going to happen and holy fuck, holy fuck, holy fuck. 

On shaky legs, he stands, tossing his phone onto the small coffee table with the ringer turned on. No, he should turn it off, on, off, on. He stares at the thing trying to decide. A _bing_ and the screen lights up. 

** <Poe:** Holy fuck is this really happening? **>**

_Bing_

** <Poe:** Are you balls deep in her RIGHT NOW?! **>**

 _Bing_  
  
 ** <Phas:** Please tell me this isn't happening. Jesus christ are you a fucking idiot? **>**

_ Bing _

** <Gabriel:** hey uh… people are freaking out around here, the place reeks and you two are missing, is everything ok? **>**

_Bing_

** <Gabriel:** Poe just told me, holy shit, good luck. **>**

_Bing, bing, bing, bing._

The text messages keep rolling in, numbers he doesn’t recognize, comments that make his skin crawl with the need to punch someone in the fucking face. Of course, this couldn’t be a private thing, why would anything in his life ever be easy? It couldn’t just be him and her and a bed for three days, no all of his friends and a lot of people he really doesn’t like very much have to be parked right outside waiting for a fucking play by play. Fuck them all.

At this rate, his mothers going to find out anyway. There is no way in hell something this huge could happen with this many people knowing about it just before school and it remain a secret. It just isn’t possible. So, what can he do?

In a snap decision, Ben reaches out, snatches up his phone and turns the damn thing off. No more binging, no more noise beyond the gentle panting of a female in heat just two rooms away and why is he still standing there?

Slow down, he needs to slow the fuck down, or does he? isn’t this situation one that calls for quick action? 

“Ben, please,” her voice sounds so weak like she’s buried under a mountain of rock and needs him to save her. Like only he can be the one to free her from her prison of torment. He and his knot. 

Moving to the kitchen Ben grabs two bottles of water from the fridge an apple and some pre-cooked breakfast sausages. Grateful to whoever had the foresight to cook the damn things the day before. Leaving his phone on the counter in plain sight so he doesn’t actually forget about it Ben sets to cutting up the apple, hands shaking, the knife clattering against the counter when he’s done. All in all, it wasn’t a wise choice but he only managed to cut himself once. 

Once he has the food piled on a plate and the water in hand he prepares himself. Shoulders squared he looks down at his dick and the god awful erection tenting the front of his boxer briefs. The traitorous thing that hasn’t flagged at all since he woke up and he’s beginning to wonder how he has any blood left in the rest of his body. Shouldn't he be light-headed by now? 

“You ready for this?” he mutters to the swollen appendage, none too surprised when the damn thing twitches. He needs to get out of his underwear and fast. Part of him thinking now would be a good time but this isn’t about him. This is about her and he needs to make sure he’s taken care of her before he slips into what might be a mindless rut. He’s honestly not sure what to expect having never experienced a rut coinciding with or influenced by an omega’s heat. Well, there was that incident in the gym and that had been… bad it had been really bad but would it be better or worse with an omega to see it through?

His dick had felt fucking raw after that fiasco. How do adults do this?

Swallowing hard Ben makes his way down the narrow hallway. There's a room on either side and one at the end. The one at the end is a bathroom, the two parallels bedrooms. Or at least one is a bedroom the other he’s not entirely sure because the door is shut and he honestly couldn’t care less what happens to be on the other side. 

Nudging the door open with his toe Ben stops. The scent in the room hits him like a freight train, the sight like something out of one of his deepest fantasies. Rey, beautiful, bright, fierce Rey has managed to fashion herself quite a little nest. She’s pulled blankets from anywhere she could find and apparently when the supply of blankets ran out she started in on Ben’s backpack. There, woven into the pile are his sweaters, t-shirts, sweatpants and shorts. Everything he had packed now a part of her sanctuary. She looks… pleased very pleased with a pillow between her legs as she ruts against it mindlessly. A pillow he realizes with one of his t-shirts pulled over it like a pillowcase. 

“Ben,” she whimpers and his heart nearly explodes out of his chest, “Ben please it’s empty, so so empty Ben. I don’t want to be empty.” A hand on her lower belly presses into the flat beneath her navel, the space where a baby would grow if he were lucky. 

No. No, fuck. He can’t think like that. But how pretty she would be, round belly set against her strong and yet delicate frame. 

“H—hey I’m here, I’m here.” he shushes cautiously hooking his foot on the door to pull it closed behind him. It seems like the smartest course of action, shutting them away from the world, closing out the noise leaving room for only her and him and what is about to transpire. 

She’s reaching out for him her fingers wiggling calling him nearer, “I want you to try and eat something first ok?” she shakes her head muttering soft ‘ _no’s_ ’ but there's a pile of alcohol in her guy and her body is burning up. He needs her to eat, needs to get her to put something in her belly before he can, in good conscience give her what she wants. But, is it a want or a need at this point? Her poor thighs look raw already and his shirt utterly saturated.

“Yes, here, can I?” he asks before entering the nest. He read that somewhere maybe, or maybe it was something from sex ed and designation class. Fuck, maybe he dreamt it all up but she’s frantically nodding so what does it really matter where it came from? 

He’s too much in his head, second-guessing every little thing he does, every moment, too fast or too slow. Should he touch her? should he wait? Sex shouldn’t be this complicated but this is more than just sex this is sex with Rey. It’s heat sex with Rey. He’s about to have heat sex and he feels a little like he might throw up. Holy shit, what if he gets sick? What if his nerves get the best of him and he pukes all over her? 

Panic starts, warring with his alpha like two titans going toe to toe screaming and tearing into one another. His hand shakes setting the plate down on the bed in front of Rey who peers at it cautiously. As though it’s going to come alive and attack her. Her nose crinkles as she looks between Ben and the plate and then back at Ben once more and mumbles, “Just want you,” heartbroken and sad as though she’s afraid he’s denying her, “Please Ben,” a hiccup, her hips slowing, stilling against the pillow, lower lip wobbling, “alpha, I _need_ you.” 

And there it is, that word, the one that coils itself around his mind like a cat. The one that pulls tight and tears at the shackles that keep the monster deep inside him chained. One minute he’s there trying to convince her to eat and the next he’s on top of her, pinning her to the bed. Her gasp is like music to her ears as her lips part to accept his sloppy kisses. It’s unpolished and frantic, mouths clashing, teeth clacking but she opens for him so prettily. Her tongue laps at his lower lip before her teeth sink in, a soft nip and a pull distracting him from little fingers pushing and prying his underwear away from his body.

He’s still kissing her, when she lines him up against her slick soaked hole, and when she wiggles against him until his cock head is swallowed by her heat. He can feel the way she gasps and holds her breath, like she’s waiting for it, for him to take over. 

It takes a little to work his way in even in this state or maybe it’s that he wants to take his time with it. Her body this thing he wants to commit the memory. Every breath, every sigh, every whimper of his name. 

Behind him her legs meet, ankles crossing against his backside pulling him closer. She’s velvet soft and so fucking warm that it makes his head spin. His control a mere idea at this point, a theory that amounts to precisely jack shit because the more she moves the deeper he sinks until his pelvis is flush against her belly and his balls are bouncing against her ass. He’s there, all of him, buried to capacity and she’s holding her breath, her nails scraping down along his back. 

All he can think about is the tight heat around him and the way she’s looking at him now. Everything else seems meaningless, everything. His world narrowing to a pinpoint focus. Him, her, them together, the way her body accommodates him, the way her slick coats his thighs. The way she feels inside. Heaven, it’s fucking heaven inside. How could he have forgotten how good this feels and why has he denied himself this long?

He can’t think of anything beyond immediate sensation, the gush of slick that’s coating his balls and dripping down over her ass. The way her cunt flutters with each and every stroke as he rocks himself deeper. 

She is his world now and all that matters is making her come, filling her up until there’s no space left. When he starts to really move, it’s with careful strokes so he can listen to the sounds their bodies make together. Wet, sloppy sounds, accented by heavy breathing and the prettiest gasps and moans he’s probably ever heard. Whimpers that end in ‘ _alpha_ ’ breathy and sweet falling from her lips urging him on. Begging him, begging him as though she’s utterly possessed by her need for it, for this, for _him_. She’s babbling incoherently, tears slipping from her eyes, her legs hugging him tighter. 

“Shhh, shh,” Ben tries, dropping his weight down upon her, balanced on his elbows freeing up his hands. Stroking her cheek he nuzzles his nose into her neck, “I’ve got you, you’re doing so good, fuck you feel so fucking good.” Better than she ever has before, like she was made from every fantasy he’s ever had in his pathetic existence as a teenage male. Like the universe created her just for him. 

“Ben,” soft, “Alpha,” something darker, “please, I need— I nee—“ Her voice dies off into a groan with one heavy punch of his hips.

“Tell me,” Ben hears himself beg, his mind reeling, the scent of her thick as he licks at her neck. 

Her answering sigh punctuated with a desperate, “You, alpha, you” that makes him laugh. A deep chuckle that doesn’t sound like it even belongs to him. Like someone else has managed to possess his body and he’s merely along for the ride. Allowed only to feel because there is so _much_ to feel. Her skin so hot and soft and sticky with sweat. Hers, his, a mixture of theirs together as his teeth graze over the gland beneath her ear, the one he nuzzles into frequently. 

“Am I?” 

The question doesn’t seem to catch, her mouth moving softly along his chest, up his neck until her lips capture his and they’re kissing. It’s hurried and messy, the slanting of lips and her teeth are catching, tugging, nipping until she manages to mutter a muffled “What?”

He almost forgets the question, the one he wants to hear the answer to, no, needs. He _needs_ to hear her say it, the confirmation that this isn’t a mistake, “Am I your alpha?”

The answer comes fast, a steady stream of. “Yes, yes, fuck yes,” as he pushes harshly into her. 

“Tell me, tell me I am,” there’s a sharpness to his voice he almost doesn’t catch, a neediness to his request, a demand that sends shivers down his spine. Briefly, he wishes he was a little more in control, maybe a little suave, more practiced but Rey doesn’t seem to care.He’s begging and she’s bucking against him crying out, “You’re my alpha!” like she hasn’t just given him everything he’s ever wanted in the matter of mere seconds. “Mine, all mine.” She continues to babble, her voice like liquid honey poured over warm tea, thick and sweet melting into his skin, branding him, “My Alpha, my cock— fuck your cock it’s—“ What, what is it? his alpha demands, “fucking perfect cock, perfect knot— want it— need to—“ her back arches forcing her hips onto him, meeting his trusts in a jagged and incoherent motion. Too fast and then not enough, pelvis’ bumping, colliding until one of them slows and they find their rhythm. His cock becomes a thing she impales herself on, his knot starting to swell, catching on the lip of her cunt as she moves against him. Her breath a deliciously warm thing that brushes against his collarbone as she bites and nips at his flesh. 

“Fuck, fu-fuck,” he could listen to her like this forever but he misses the way her lips feel against his. “Ne—need you to come, Ben—alpha,” a high pitched whimper, “need your cum, need it in me.” 

And he’d be happy to oblige but there’s a burning need lit like brimstone in his core that tells him he can’t until she has. It makes him ache, his muscles crying out with a need to give her everything she’s asked for but he can’t, like a vice has a hold of his balls squeezing them tight holding back even the idea of an orgasm. It’s almost painful the way they slap against Rey’s ass, swollen and desperate for release. 

Instead, he leans in, licking at her neck making her gasp as her scent seeps out from her gland coating his tongue. It wraps around his mind sliding down into his chest where the beast inside pulls and pulls, shredding his already frayed restraint. Her taste is— it’s like nothing he’s ever experienced, a whole world of new sensations too bright and intense to be real. “Mine,” he growls into her neck and she nods, her chin hitting his shoulder. 

“Yes, yours, all yours, your omega.”

His, his, his. She’s all his. His to fuck, his to claim, his to love, “Such a good girl for me, sweet girl aren’t you?” The question is rhetorical but her whimpered yes makes his balls tighten, “taking my cock like you were made for it.”

“I was— I was made for it.”

“You were, sweet, precious thing,” the words spill from his mouth from somewhere primal, deep inside, like a cork has been pulled and he’s being pulled under, drowning in it. The feelings he’s been fighting, the need he has to consume every part of her breaking free, “My good girl, wanna put a baby in you, sweetheart, wanna rip that implant out of your arm and fuck you until you’re so full of my cum it’s dripping all over your gorgeous legs. Want to stuff you so full it drips all over my balls whenever I push in because there is no fucking room left.” 

He barely has time to think about what he’s saying before she’s answering him back, “Yes, yes, give me a baby Ben,” but it’s hormones, it has to be. It can’t be real, no teenage omega would ever want to have a baby so young. It makes his chest ache, need mixing with a thick sort of regret. Like maybe he might be pushing this on her, “Beautiful babies, such pretty babies my alpha would give me. It hurts— it’s empty- _I'm_ so empty and it hurts.” 

It’s then, that moment that something lets go, his consciousness bleeds into something incoherent and feral. Like someone has lit a match against his spine and left it to burn. Like there are two beings alive within him, the rational Ben Solo and the darker alpha he has been trying to hold back. Ben was given a chance to fix this, to make his omega feel better, to give her what she needed but he has taken too long and now, Ben is forced deep into his own mind as something dark and territorial takes control. 

His rut, he’s fully in it now, his mouth on her neck, lingering over her mating glad, a promise of forever and she’s writhing beneath him, “Do it, do it, do it,” she begs, “bite me, _mate_ me.” 

Inside his mind, Ben hollers _no_ , his jaw opening, clenching his teeth meeting her skin in the most glorious of ways. It’s like hauling on the reigns of a draft horse, pulling back against an animal that doesn’t want to budge. He can taste her, the sweetness of her skin, the way her scent coalesces in his mouth begging for him to do it. It’s quick, there and gone and a kiss of apology as she whines her disapproval. His sweet girl who wants so little and yet so much. 

He could do it, bind them together, take this opportunity, this freely offered thing. She wants it, the voice in control reasons, she wants to be his and he wants it too so why deny it?

“I want you to come for me,” he hears himself say, his voice a dark thing, heavy and thick. “I want to feel you come on my knot omega and then I’ll give you exactly what you want. I’ll fill your sweet little cunt until you can’t handle anymore. I’ll make it all stop, you just need to give me one little thing. Can you do that?” 

Her breath huffs against his cheek as he worms his arms beneath her, around her, pulling her closer, their chests pressed together. “M’close— so close.” 

“Come for me,” the begging is gone now, this is a command, his voice edged and quick, “fucking come on your alpha’s cock.” 

He knows it’s not possible to command such a thing but she’s coming apart in a matter of seconds. Begging for more, begging for him, her nails scraping down his triceps as her teeth find his shoulder. There’s so much to feel all at once, a gush of slick, her insides quaking, the sharp press of her teeth breaking his skin and the euphoric brilliance of her. Just her. Like he’s drowning in it, in everything she’s offering, in everything she is. As though he’s lost adrift in a sea of her, floating carelessly along. Her moan is muffled against his shoulder, making him shiver, barking out a laugh as she finally releases him. Her head thrown back she cries out, her body going taut. There’s blood on her lips, his blood he realizes, leaning forward to lick it off. It tastes coppery but sweet, a mix of her and him together, strange but intoxicating. 

It all sort of happens in a surreal slow motion, her skin flushed, eyes hooded, mouth slack as it starts to well up from somewhere deep within. A pressure around his cock that blooms like a sunrise swallowing him whole until he can’t pull out anymore. His knot swollen until they’re locked together and his trusts are reduced to little more than careful tugging as she clenches violently around him. 

He comes with a hoarse cry, his cock pulsing in waves as it gushes out of him coming and coming until it’s hard to do much more than hold himself still. His arms tremble around her as he presses his forehead to hers nuzzling their noses together as she sighs and gulps down lung fulls of air. Her lips move lazily against his cheek, her hands lost in his hair. Little fingers tugging lightly at the roots pulling him back so she can capture his mouth in a kiss. Tongues tangling together in lazy and slow patterns that seem to go on forever. 

Carefully she clings to him, squeezing her legs, pulling him deeper pulling him back to her from the depths of his darkness. She’s wrapped around him fiercely as the world comes back into focus. They’re locked together and she’s kissing his neck, her mouth soft and plush as she laps at his skin. 

He doesn’t know how much time has passed but he’s tired already, his eyes heavy as he rolls them onto their sides, her leg up over his hip. The shift pulling out another rush of cum filling  her until he can feel a mix of their fluids dripping out over his balls, saturating the sheets. 

“Ben,” Rey's voice calls, her mouth over his mating gland and it— it stings just a little. Her kisses falling like hot iron as she whispers a soft “Thank you” against his shoulder. Her hum of contentment something that he feels down into his toes, like her feelings are his now. Like he can read her mind. 

He watches her a moment her eyes closed, lips pulled in a smile, happy. She looks happy like this, so content that Ben can’t help but touch her. His fingers trace along her jawline before disappearing into her hair, pulling it back and away from her face, “Are you—“ he’s not sure entirely what it is he means to ask but Rey’s answer comes with a brilliant smile.

“Perfect,” she hums, taking his hand and pressing it against her belly, “You’re such a good alpha Ben, so good.” 

“I thought I was supposed to be the one praising you,” Ben laughs, kissing her nose before she buries her face into his chest. Her kisses are languid things, falling against his skin while he traces soft patterns along her spine. Her skin is warm and soft, perfect. It feels perfect, everything about this moment seems right. The darkness a mere whisper of a thing, something maybe he’s meant to embrace. Not scary but perhaps a balance met, a piece of him he’s hidden from, tucked away because it made him wild. 

Rey’s hips flex, her belly tightening, working herself against his knot with a soft sigh. He can feel it, the way it soothes the alpha in his chest, how the movement makes his cock pulse. He’s coming again without any rhythm or reason, filling her so completely it makes his alpha purr. 

There’s a soft laugh, Rey's cheek pressed against his sternum, “Ben, you’re purring again.”  
  
“I am?” He is, the cage is open, his alpha left free to roam but with this new freedom seems to come an understanding. They’re in this together, their goal, the same. To protect and give her everything. “Fuck that’s so weird.”

“I kind of like it,” Rey giggles, fingertips tracing around his left nipple idly, tripping over the raised nub making Ben twitch. His hips flex pushing into her, his pelvis rubbing against hers and there’s a flutter, a light contracting of inner muscles that Ben chases after, grinding against her gently until Rey comes with a soft gasp and a laugh. 

When he kisses her it’s soft, lips met delicately, carefully. It goes on for moments, maybe hours even, just their lips touching, careful presses met with quiet pauses where they simply look at one another. Her eyes in the morning light look almost green, mossy and muddy like pools of pond water reflecting the brilliant morning sun. 

They kiss until their eye lids grow heavy and sleep whispers quietly in their ear, “Mmm’sleepy,” Rey purrs, his knot still locking them together as she curls up against him. 

“Me too,” he answers with a kiss, her forehead, her nose, her lips, “We should get some rest, I don’t know how long until it starts up again.”

“Don’ like it,” comes her sleepy reply, accented by a yawn. It makes him jolt, panic coiling tight making Ben’s brain scramble to find some way to fix it. “Not this,” Rey affirms softly, her hand slipping between them hissing as her fingers tremble against her clit, moving on to stroke the area where they’re still joined together, “This is good, this—“ She runs her fingers along the line of his cock stroking the bottom of his knot with a care and reverence that makes his chest swell, “this is amazing. You’re amazing— even if you are an alpha.” The joke is a soft thing, something that hits like a ball of fluff exploding in a burst of warm and fuzzies in his belly. “I don’t like feeling like I’m not myself.”

“The control thing,” Ben concludes, “I uh— I read about it,” Rey nods, another yawn, her lips smacking together.

“Is it the same for you?”

“Yeah, I think so but different too. Like I’m out of control but I need to stay in control—“ he stops to think, “Like I’m torn between a need to give you what you want and protect you at the same time. It’s strange. Like there’s this thing inside that wants to take control, like a baser instinct I guess.”

“Your alpha.”

“Yeah, my alpha — Shit Rey, you need to eat something.”

“Will when I wake up— m’promise. You’re so warm, so comfy.”

Ben chuckles, his cheek pressed against the crown of Rey’s head as he holds her close. There are words on his tongue, simple ones he wants to say, words he's fighting against because it's too much, it's too soon but if not now, then when? When is the right time to tell her how he feels? “I fucking love you, you know that right?” 

For a moment there’s silence, the whisper of voices coming in from the closed window. A world outside that hasn’t stopped, “I love you too, Ben,” comes with a soft nuzzle, “alpha and all, all of you. Even the parts you try and hide away. I love you because of them and in spite of them.” 

The corners of his eyes are wet, they’re hot and they’re wet and he can’t seem to figure out what exactly is happening because there’s this feeling in his chest like something has blown it wide open. Like everything is there, raw and pure and frighteningly real. She loves him, all of him. He isn’t sure that he deserves it but it’s his, her affection, her care and now he’ll do anything to hold it close, to cherish it because she’s given him a gift. So many gifts today but this one is the most precious of all. 

“I think— I think you’re my person Ben Solo,” he lets her go on, trying to suppress the tremble that threatens to consume him, “I think I fought with you because there’s always been this pull to you and it was— is terrifying so I fought against it. But you, you’re like this thing that drew me in. I’m so eloquent I know,” she offers a laugh, “Is it weird? It’s only been like two months and we’re seventeen.”

“I’ll be eighteen in two-ish months,” Ben offers teasingly.

“Yes because that makes a difference.”

“Maybe it does, I can legally buy porn.” 

Ben laughs as Rey half-heartedly backhands his chest, “Shut up, be serious.” 

“Ok, sorry,” mustering up the best straight face he can, he can’t help but chuckle, “Hey, you’re my person too.” His fingers run through her hair and he can feel the heat of her skin, her scalp warm beneath his touch. It’ll only be a matter of time before they’re pulled into it again, “Just sleep ok?” The only answer he gets is a soft ‘ _mmm_ ’ as Rey’s breathing settles into something smooth and careful. It isn’t long before he feels it too, his eyelids heavy, the last conscious thought in his mind that nothing in his whole life has ever felt so perfect. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright well, come say Hello on [The Twitter](https://twitter.com/rebelscumreylo) and for anyone interested there's a [Playing Defence Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6xSwy5BORUSEDjWBjtYkSJ?si=YgxFTvVbTKuW8zr9T20uSg)  
> Love you xoxox


	17. I love you more then you will ever know.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Mom, I’m actually just getting ready to crawl into bed, I spent most of the day in the sun.”
> 
> “God Ben, I hope you made sure to apply lots of sunscreen. You know how badly you burn up.”
> 
> “I have mom, promise.” Off. Phone. Now.
> 
> His mother, clearly unaware of her son’s current plight seems all too happy to carry on casually, “Ok, good. Call me tomorrow ok? When are you planning on being home again?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just... smut, pure and simple and maybe a little sweet?

The periods of lucidity are infrequent and strange accented with moments of highs and lows the likes of which Ben could never have prepared himself for. Exhaustion, pure and simple. Who would have thought that sex could be so exhausting? Even when his mind isn’t up for it, his body is, like the two have stopped communicating altogether and instinct has simply taken over. Those are the times he’s most dangerous. The moments where he’s lulled into a false sense of security, his cock buried in her so fiercely it’s hard to tell where he ends and she begins.

The rocking, intense and yet somehow peaceful settles something within his chest and for half a moment he thinks he might do it. It would be simple, her neck is there, and she’s arching it so prettily. She begs him for it, her voice high pitched and full of need, so desperate that it makes his chest ache. Those are the moments he thinks it might be easier just to give in. To sink his teeth into her neck, giving her exactly what she wants. Only there’s this little voice in the back of his head telling him that’s not how this works.

“Please, please Ben, Alpha, alpha _I need you_ ,” her voice sweet as sugar settles into his veins as he takes her in any position he can. “Bite me, please bite me. Don’t you want me?.” she keens. Over and over, a variation of words that all amount to the same thing. She wants him to make her his mate. When the haze of her heat shifts leaving small fragments of her consciousness there she thanks him for not listening. Her voice trembles, her body quivering as he comes deep inside her. Each shift, each movement pulling more and more out of him until he feels almost high and totally lost on her.

At one point Ben manages to extract himself from the nest of blankets which is really more just a soppy mess of bodily fluids at this point. Rey moans out her displeasure grabbing for him as he slips away, laughing as her fingers slip over his ass and down his hamstrings until she’s laying in a lump on top of a handful of pillows that will definitely need to be thrown out. 

“Damn you and your no ass,” Rey grumbles adding in a “should really shower,” for good measure as she sniffs at herself. 

The room is utterly unfit for human inhabitance, the air warm and stale and heavily scented with hormones and sex. It’s honestly the best thing Ben has ever scented in his life, then again he’s still not entirely thinking clearly. 

After relieving his bladder he takes a moment to wipe down his face with a damp and cool facecloth. The image staring back at him in the mirror is… well it’s a sight to behold. His hair is a mess standing up in every direction like he’s managed to stick his finger in an electrical socket. There are deep and dark circles under his eyes and something sticky and glossy coating his neck and chin. Slick, it has to be and as much as it pains him to wash it away it’ll only be a matter of time before he’s blessedly drowning in it again.

A deep part of him hoping he can convince her to sit on his face again. Rey had fought him at first, she cried out and covered her face with her hands in her post-heat clarity as Ben delved between her thighs. “Isn’t it gross to you that I’m full of your cum?” 

He didn’t bother telling her that he liked the way they tasted mixed together, her slick and his cum, the scent of possibility and life. She’d caught him rubbing at the small scar on her arm where her implant sat afterwards and teased him about his alpha desires. But when he was buried to the hilt fucking into her from behind moments later she didn’t seem to find it so funny. Whining and whimpering about wanting his babies. He had to push her down into the bed and pull her hind end up then to avoid actually biting her that time. 

Just the thought of it is enough to bring his erection around. The flesh around the base still obscenely sensitive as he takes his cock in hand and gives it a light and appreciative squeeze. It doesn’t feel right, nothing will ever feel right again now that he’s knotted her several times. It’ll be burned into his memory from now until the end of his pathetic life. 

“Ben, come back,” her sweet voice calls and it’s almost enough to pull him off course. Almost. He needs to check his phone, he’s left it for too long.

It’s dark outside and there’s a fire going down on the beach. Ben can see it through the open kitchen window that overlooks the property. It’s quiet, the soft hum of conversation barely there over the dull roar of ocean waves. The scent in the kitchen clean and cool, salt air and smoke. Part of him wishes he could be there too, sitting in the sand with Rey pressed against his chest while their friends joke and laugh. It seems so simple now, inconsequential when compared to the gravity of their current situation. 

It’s strange to lean into such a lack of control after spending years trying to figure out how to keep everything in check. But that doesn’t work here. The more he tries to control things, the crazier he feels. It’s easier just to let himself go and listen, not necessarily with his ears but with his body. He just needs to respond to what her body tells him. Where she wants to be touched, where she needs him the most. His mouth on her nipples, his fingers on her clit, his cock, always his cock fucking into her. 

He’s waiting for his cellphone to boot up when her hands slide across his chest. She’s there cuddled against his back, her nose pressed against his spine, “M’sorry,” she mumbles against his skin, “Don’t like it when you’re far.” 

His chuckle is a deep rumbling thing, large hand pressed against hers, holding her there, “I think I can forgive you,” he teases lightly, his heart swelling as he fells her lips quirk into a smile. 

“This is kind of fucked huh?”

“Oh, I dunno.” His cellphone light is bright against the darkness in the room. The only other light coming from the moon hanging low in the sky, “it’s not all bad.” 

“I hate that our first time having sex again is like this Ben.”

“If it makes you feel better, I will be more than happy to have sex with you again once your heat is over. Many times, in fact, promise,” her fingers tweak his nipple which makes his cock twitch, unfortunately, or fortunately for her, he seems to enjoy a bit of a sharp edge with his pleasure. “How are you?”

A soft sigh and a kiss against his shoulder. He can feel Rey push up onto her tiptoes nuzzling against the base of his spine with her nose, “Hot, sore, hungry.”

Ben’s phone chimes as the light dims and text messages flood in, half distracting him from the more pressing matter at hand, “I’ll get you— fuck.” 

Seven missed calls from his mother. 

A soft squeeze of Rey’s hand and Ben brings it up to his lips kissing each fingertip gently, “You ok?”

No, yes, maybe, shit. He doesn’t want to tell her that there’s a very real possibility that his mother might know exactly what they’re up to but Rey is peeking over his shoulder as he scrolls through to find the few text messages sent from his parents

** <Mom:** Your father said you’re staying at Armitages for a few days. That’s fine just call me the check in ok? **>   
** ** <Mom:** As in call me soon please and thank you. I just want to know that you’re safe. **>  
** ** <Mom:** Benjamin Chewbacca Solo answer me when I call you **>  
** ** <Mom:** You’re about thirty seconds from having your freedom ripped away from you **>**

** <Dad:** You asshole, what was my one rule. Answer your mother because I will NOT be stopping her from driving out there **>**

** <Mom:** Five phone calls Ben, I swear if you’re dead **>   
**** <Mom:** Do I need to drive out there? **>  
**** <Mom:** Shara says Poe’s there too and he’s answering her Ben. I’m pretty lenient with the drinking but for the love of christ let me know you’re ok. Im starting to really worry. **>**

** <Dad:** Not cool kid. Your moms losing her mind here **>**

** <Mom**: CALL ME BENJAMIN IM NOT JOKING **>**

“Ben I think it’s starting up again.”

Horrible, horrible timing. Pulling away albeit very reluctantly from Rey, Ben eyes the clock. It’s a little after ten which isn’t too late for a phone call, not really but what the hell could he use as an excuse? 

The ‘ _my phone died_ ’ angle would work but according to his calendar app they’ve been at this for two days. He’s never left his phone dead for two days before. It might work as most of the people he would normally text are here but still, it’s weak and will likely only get him yelled at. Then again, being yelled at isn’t so bad, not compared to his mother actually making the drive out and finding he and Rey knotted together… again. 

“Ben— Ben—“ Rey’s voice sounds strained, edging in a whimper as she reaches out to grab him. It physically hurts to be away from her when she’s like this. Any amount of space between them too much but he’s got to prevent a major disaster there. 

Her dark eyes look like pitch in the pale moonlight, her body bathed in a shimmering silver glow. Slick has already started to leak out from between her legs coating her thighs in a glistening layer of dewy sweetness, “Ok,” he can do this, “Ok sweetheart, how about this. I’m going to get you an apple and you’re going to eat it while I make a quick phone ca—“ his words are cut off when her mouth descends on his finger. Her sweet little tongue wriggling against his digit as if to say, ‘ _no that’s a bad idea_ ’ offering up her own counter solution in the process. 

Ben’s poor cock throbs, bouncing between his thighs, his balls tucked up underneath begging for a chance of release, “Alpha, pwease,” she manages around his finger making him whine because he’s not above such things now. Her mouth a mere tease of the heat that he’s promised. Warm and wet and all-encompassing.

“Rey,” he’s pleading with her when he should he demanding but he can’t bring himself to make his tone sound so harsh, “Omega, I need you to do something for me ok?” Her nod is hindered by the fact that his finger is still very much lodged into her mouth, “I need you to each something,” One of her hands takes a hold of his cock making Ben startle, “No, no not that—“

“Bu— but.”

A soft kiss is placed on her nose as he pulls his hand free from her grasp, “No, can you be a good omega for me?” A nod and the back of her hand wipes away the drool that’s smeared against her cheek, “such a good girl, pretty girl.” Rey hums her approval following as he takes a few steps back towards the fridge, “You make me so happy, did you know that? So proud of my girl. Such a good omega, so good for me aren’t you.” Rey nods as Ben’s back bumps into the fridge. He makes quick work hastily pulling out an apple to cut up quickly. Rey watches him work, her eyes flickering between his hands and his dick, licking at her lips with an intent to consume. He’s pretty sure the food won’t keep her long and honestly, he’s not sure he should really be making the phone call now. He can feel his own conscious intent compromised, his need to touch her thick and very real.

It’s hard to be so close and not feel her pressed against him. To know what her cunt feels like wrapped around his knot and not seek out that pleasure. 

No. No. He needs to be of sound mind, his hands shaking as he sets the plate down on the counter and instructs Rey to eat. She does so begrudgingly watching Ben as he makes quick work with his phone still trying to figure out what exactly he’s supposed to tell his mother.

Unfortunately for him she picks up on the first ring, her voice ringing loudly in his ears, a shrill, “Jesus Christ Benjamin are you trying to kill me?” in the background, Ben can hear his father’s voice mumble something that sounds like _‘fucking finally_ ’ and then the heavy thwack of a pill hitting something, likely Han. 

“Mom, I’m so sorry,” he blurts out quickly, still trying to figure out what exactly he should say. What excuse would sound good enough to not warrant him coming home right this very instant because that quite frankly is not even remotely a possibility, “My phone—“

“I don’t ask for much Ben, I honest to god don’t. There aren’t many kids who are allowed to do the things you are but what is the one thing I ask of you.”

“To call—“

“That’s right.” 

He knows, this isn’t new and yet the way his mother says it, chastising him like a child, it makes him feel a little resentful. He’s not some kid anymore, not now. He’s seeing his partner through a heat, that’s not something a child would do… 

“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t make you come home right now?” 

“I— well— I’m here because of Rey.” Fuck why did he say that? 

As if summoned she’s there again, on her knees in front of him, her mouth opened wide like she’s catching raindrops on her tongue, “Rey…”

“Yeah— yes. I— Yes, I’m here for her. There’s a few other alpha’s hanging around and she’s never seen the ocean before. She’s having a good time so I thought it would be a nice opportunity for her.” 

“Such a good alpha,” Rey purrs at his feet her tongue darting out to lick at his cockhead. Like a kitten swatting at string she licks and smiles catching a smear of precum on her tongue with a hum of approval.

“She and Rose are sharing a room, don’t worry—“ he blurts out quickly sucking in a breath as Rey’s lips swallow the crown, slipping down over the flared and swollen head, “Rose won— won’t let me near Rey like that do—don’t worry.” 

Leia’s answering “Mmmhmm,” sounds a little like she might buy it, or at least be willing to let the answer go on as the truth before asking, “If that’s the case why has it taken you so long to get back to me?”

It’s at that moment when Rey pushes down on him, her mouth swallowing him up until he feels himself bump against the back of her throat. Rey’s eyes are wide and bright as she stares up at him her hands moving so that one cradles his balls and the other works softly against him. It’s dry and just a little uncomfortable until she manages to pick up a bit of saliva, working her mouth and hand in tandem, “Fu—fuck.” he grunts, “Sorry mom. St—stubbed my toe. I’m uh- heading back to my room. Sorry, Poe and Hux are being idiots.” 

“Are you being safe?” Well, there’s a loaded question, accented by his mother's subtle yawn. It’s passed her bedtime meaning she was likely up waiting or hoping that he would call.

“Oh, yeah. Everyone’s good. I’ve been bar—becuing so they don’t all starve—“ Rey’s hand is moving faster, getting sloppier with each pass. It’s a mess of slick sucking, slurping and humming as her lips connect with her hand. 

“And your phone?” what phone? he’s on his phone? Why is he on his phone and not fucking her right now?

Tucking his cell against his cheek he reaches out carefully losing his fingers in Rey’s hair in a lame attempt at controlling her motion. She pushes on, her fervent bobbing making Ben tug on her hair which it turns out she likes. His hips dip and push moving with her as he starts fucking into her mouth only pulled back by his mouths harsh, “Ben?” burning through the line. “I asked you a question.”

“What's that?” he mumbles trying to keep the phone pinned against his shoulder. His knot aches ready to pop with every motion as Rey tries harder and harder to swallow more of him whole. 

“Why did it take you so long to get back to me?”

Oh right, the reason for him calling in the first place. To make sure his mother doesn’t drive out there looking for him, “Uh— dropped fuck—“ shit, shit, shit. Rey’s nose is pressed against his pelvis, warm lips swallowing up his knot as she gags lightly against him but holds herself in place. He can feel her droll dripping down over his balls making them ache within her hand and suddenly his phone is being dropped to the floor, clattering with a curse as he stares helplessly between it and his nearly popped knot and the little omega determined to wreck him. 

Distantly he can hear his mother calling his name, her voice distorted through the phone. He should— no he needs to pick up the phone but his hips won’t stop moving and Rey’s mouth feels like fucking heaven. He’s seconds from coming down her pretty little throat when his phone starts to ring. His mother, persistent as she is hung up and is trying to call him back. Now that she’s managed to get a hold of him she wants her answers and all Ben wants to do is push Rey down and fuck her into the laminate wood flooring.

“Rey— nghhh fu—fuck Rey sweetheart.” He tries but she hallows her cheeks and he has to grab the base of his shaft to stop himself from knotting her mouth. “Rey—“ his hand strokes her cheek as he tries to pull her off, slipping his cock from her lips before ducking to grab his phone. 

Rey cries out her displeasure pulling him down on top of her as his thumb hits the answer button and his mother's voice fills the space between them, “Ben, what was that?”

“Sorry mom— sorry, sorry. I dropped my phone.” 

On his knees on the floor Ben groans as Rey presents herself on all fours before him, spreading herself open a mere foot from his face. Her fingers slip through slick lips moving over her clit as she gasps and moans, “What on earth is going on there?” 

“Oh— just— just the boys being assholes,” he tries to regain focus on the conversation but all he can do is watch as Rey’s pretty pink hole flutters around nothing at all. It calls to him softly, slick coated thighs waiting for him. It wouldn’t take much, he could sink in and take her, fuck her until she came on his knot again and again.

But… “I think maybe you need to come home.”

Fuck, no— no he needs to get it together, “I can’t right now.”

“And why is that?”

“I had a drink,” he offers as casually as he can, “I don’t think I should drive. Besides. Someone needs to—“ Ben swallows harshly nearly choking on his saliva as Rey buries two fingers into herself, her hips moving with the pumping motion of her wrist, “Someone needs to stay somewhat sober. Please, mom. I’ll be home in a few days.”

“You still never told me what happened to your—“

Extracting her fingers from her messy pussy Rey turns around and rubs her slick digits across Ben’s lips, “Right, uh— sorry.” He needs an answer and fast but all he seems capable of doing is following Rey’s fingers back and forth as she rubs them against his mouth, following her like a puppy.

“Are you eating while you’re on the phone with me Ben?”

“Huh, sorry yeah. Mmmade dip, got some on my hand, was—“ grabbing Rey’s hand he sucks the clean and then replaces them with his own moving them slowly into her, “Just cleaning it off. Used your recipe,” try for flattery maybe that’ll help, “Not as good as yours but it’s ok.”

His mother sounds mildly mollified, “Oh which one?”

“Spiiiiiiinach and artichoke, everyone really likes it.”

“Oh fantastic, now—“

“Right, my phone. It’s been in— a bag of rice.” Smooth Ben, good save.

There’s a rustle on the other end before his mother asks, “And why would it be in a bag of rice?”

Think Ben, think, how did your phone get wet? You’re on the coast, “Playing beach volleyball and it was in my pocket. Didn’t think about it and ended up falling in the water. It’s working now though. Sorry.” 

“Well thank goodness for small miracles. How’s Rey enjoying the ocean?”

It takes everything in Ben not to bite out some offhanded comment about how much Rey’s enjoying herself as she fucks herself on his fingers. It’s a poor substitution for his cock but with any luck, that’ll be rectified in a matter of moments. He just needs to get his mom off the phone, “She loves it, can’t get enough.” His poor girl groans as he wiggles his fingers, probably not the wisest decision but his mother doesn’t seem to notice, “Mom, I’m actually just getting ready to crawl into bed, I spent most of the day in the sun.”

“God Ben, I hope you made sure to apply lots of sunscreen. You know how badly you burn up.”

“I have mom, promise.” Off. Phone. Now.

His mother, clearly unaware of her son’s current plight seems all too happy to carry on casually, “Ok, good. Call me tomorrow ok? When are you planning on being home again?”

He can’t it’s impossible to wait any longer, pulling his fingers out Ben lines himself up with Rey’s waiting opening. The first push is surreal, the warmth swallowing with the first uneven stroke. The effect it has on Rey is immediate. Her body relaxing instantly as she melts back into him. It’s slow going at first, concentrating on his breathing. One hand on her low back the other holding the phone to his ear while he bounces Rey against his thighs. “Promise, I’m— uhhhh.” He needs to bite his lip a moment to suppress the urge to groan, “Few more days.”

“School starts up in less than a week Ben, how about two, that’s a fair compromise. You have hockey starting up soon. Isn’t that— that’s in two days.”

The creature in his chest claws at his sanity roaring for him to get off the phone. He’s not doing his duty, he’s not being a good alpha. He can’t think of hockey or school or fucking sunscreen because there’s a pretty little omega bouncing on his cock and she needs him to fuck her hard and knot her fast. He needs to fill her up until his cum is dripping down her thighs. Why isn’t he doing that? Why is he still holding the fucking phone?

“Fu—uccccck,” He can’t help but groan, pushing forward harshly making Rey cry out.

“What was that?”

“Rey pinched her finger in the drawer. I have—“ leaning back Ben watches for a moment as Rey’s cunt swallows him up, her labia spread around him as he slides in as smooth as a knife through hot butter, “I have to get the— fuck.” Pushing her forward again Rey bumps her head against the counter, “You ok?”

The only answer he gets is the stiff nodding of her head, her hands pressing into the cupboards giving her leverage to push back against him.

“Is it bad?” Bad? No, it’s fucking amazing but he’s not about to tell his mother that. Though it’s getting harder to see straight and his palms are getting sweaty. He’s going to drop his phone again if he's not careful. 

With Rey mewling beneath him, Ben pulls the trigger, “Yeah, just- she’s ok. I’m gonna take care of her now mom. I’ll—“ Rey suddenly pushes back harshly so she’s nearly sitting in his lap, a blatant demand for his focus, “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“Ok sweetheart. Give Rey our love.” Love, adoration, a good sound fucking, load of cum, bruises the shape of his fucking fingerprints on her hips. He’s going to give her all of that and more once he gets his mother off the phone. 

“I will— love you.” He doesn’t even wait for her answering reply throwing his phone down on the floor. The damn thing slides away from him but surely to god his mother would have the common sense to hang up. Right?

It doesn’t even really matter because Rey is on her knees, her back arched into him as Ben grabs a hold of her hips with both hands. She’s so tiny compared to him, his hold taking up nearly her whole waist as Ben drives into her. 

“Please alpha— _please_.” The begging starts up, or maybe she’s been whimpering all along and he just hasn’t heard it. Rage burns white-hot through him at the mere thought that he might have missed it. The sweet way his name tumbles from his lips. The way she begs so sweetly. 

“Tell me what you need little one, tell your alpha what you need.” 

Her answering “You—bite— please.” Comes out as a sob, broken and sweet, her hand pressed back against his thigh in order to stabilize herself. It’s a whole new angle like this, something he’d never think to try. 

Over her shoulder he can see her tits bounce against the impact, his hands snaking up around her ribcage to pinch one of those pert little nipples. The answering gasp is like church bells calling him to worship. His lips kissing their way across her shoulders, up her neck before Ben buries his nose in her hair. The smell of her is like something out of a dream. Something sweet but piquant rolled in the salty musk of her sweat-soaked skin. 

“Claim me,” comes next after a few quick sharp thrusts, “make me yours forever. I want everyone to know.” It hits like a dart, an arrow fed directly into his heart, tickling at his deepest desires as the monster roars to life in his chest. He has to act quickly before the alpha inside takes over, latching his mouth and then his teeth onto her shoulder.

Rey cries out, soft, “No, no, no,” and “Not there, please alpha, I’ll be so good for you, just take me.” 

Her scent gland isn’t as sweet as the one that she’s offering but he’d hate himself if he ever took that from her. Instead, he lets the taste of her flood his mouth as she sobs, her gorgeous pussy fluttering around him. Ben fucks her harder hoping the sound of their damp skin slapping together will drown out her pleas but it does little to stem the desire to claim her. 

On hand works down her body in search of her clit while the other travels up and over her neck. He holds her with a delicacy that seems unnatural for such a position, his palm cupping her chin while two fingers breach her lips. He needs to stop her begging, give her something else to focus on because honestly there isn’t much more he can take. He’s on the edge of giving in, just there ready enough to be pushed, teetering on the brink of something they can’t take back. Her need is this thing that he feels. A visceral pull that has been lingering beneath his flesh since the first time he took her. This bright and heady thing that suffocates him while his fingers work diligently between her legs. For a moment he lets himself luxuriate in the area where their two bodies join. His cock feels like a rigid and angry thing as it plunges into her steady and smooth. 

Saturating his fingertips Ben takes his time rolling his fingers around the small sensitive bud at the apex of her thighs, her lips closing around his fingers greedily. 

“That’s it, sweet girl,” he coos in her ear, his cunt pulsing around him, the gentle squeeze turning into a firm pressure as she sobs on his fingers. “God I fucking love you, did you know that? I love you so fucking much it makes my chest ache. I would give you anything you want little one, anything at all if I thought you truly wanted it.”

Rey mumbles around his fingers but the words are cut off by a light pressure applied to her tongue, “Shhhh,” he shushes, “I know, but I want you to come for me.” It’s getting harder to pull out, each push back in done with a force that pushes her forwards a little until she’s braced both against him and the cupboards. “Come for me omega, squeeze my cock with that pretty pussy, you want my cum don’t you?”

He hears the words but they don’t sound like him, too forceful, too demanding, his body taking and taking far beyond anything that makes logical sense. His thighs burn, the only real thing connecting to this moment, well that and the slick heat but even still his alpha takes that, revels in it like a greedy child. 

He’s there for the show now, an experience that happens with a loud cry. A scream really and a pressure that starts at the head of his cock and ripples down along his shaft. Her pussy a vice clinging to every inch of him pulling him deep until he comes not with a cry but a shudder. A convulsion of muscles so intense that it forces him over, bending her over until they both tumble to the floor, his knot expanding inside her. The cold laminate feels brilliant against his sweaty skin, his fingers dislodged from Rey’s mouth in order to help guide her to the floor. 

They lay there for some time, Rey’s legs twitching, Ben’s stroking circles around Rey’s belly as he comes again with a sob, a whimper and a gasp, raining kisses along her spine as he empties inside her. Pressing softly to her belly, Rey gasps and Ben feels himself pulse again, dissolving into a puddle of pleasure.

“Fu—u—ck you’re perfect.” Ben mumbles against her neck, kissing along her spin, across her shoulder, down the back of her arm, anywhere his lips can reach, “Such strong and fierce little omega, my omega.”

“Yours,” she offers softly, pulling her arm beneath her head so she can use it as a pillow, “All yours.” she hums.

Ben smiles into his kiss, a lingering one over the bony prominence of her cervical spine, the area where cervical ends and thoracic begins, “You need to be careful asking me to bite you.” Her soft hum is a sad, regretful thing, “I would do it in a heartbeat if I thought—“

“I— maybe we should wait to talk about that Ben.”

It sort of feels like the bottom has fallen out of his world. She’s pushing him away, rejecting him. He hasn’t been good enough, hasn’t paid enough attention. He’s read the signs wrong, read her wrong. Holy fuck is he really just an asshole alpha?

“Ben—“ a soft squeeze of his forearm and a kiss pressed into his palm stops his downward spiral, “Ben, no, I just mean talking about it with a clear head would be better. I don’t want— god. I wish we’d done this face to face.” 

“I kind of like it like this,” he kisses her mating gland though he knows that he shouldn’t, revelling in the way that it makes her gasp and groan, “I like that your body is just— open to me.” His hands start their casual exploration, sliding over her breasts, her nipples pebbled beneath his palms as he rubs at them gentle, “I like making you squirm.” Adjusting her hips she tugs on his knot making Ben laugh and sigh and come all over again, “Fuck yes— like that. I also love,” his lips on her ear Ben runs his hand over her belly, swollen just a little in a way that makes that monster in his chest purr with pride. There could be a baby. Maybe. Though the rational part of his brain tells him not likely. It’s bittersweet, but it doesn’t stop his gentle exploration. It’s not until his hand is between her legs, one propped up over his while his figures toy with her clit that he relents, “Wonder how many times I can make you come before my knot goes down.” 

The answer is seven. Rey is so sensitive after the first few that the last three happen like rocks skipping in a pond. Ripples feeding into ripples until she’s begging him to stop. They stay on the kitchen floor for sometime after talking about hockey and their school year ahead. She tells him about her plans, something they’d never really talked about before. Universities, jobs, travelling. All things discussed with a careful note of assumption. Like anything that happens they’re going to do it together. Or maybe that’s too much to ask but when Rey yawns and mutters a sleepy, “We should look at universities after school starts.” Ben starts to wonder if maybe it wasn’t all in his head.

She wants to be an engineer so really there are a handful of schools in the area known to have a brilliant program but what if she wants to leave? Dalhousie would be the most likely choice but they’re a little pickier with their requirements while St Mary’s has been known as the backup school. Their grade point acceptance lower than most. 

Ben’s been approached about St Mary’s and Acadia but in the end, it’s going to be more of an issue of what school offers him a scholarship. Dal’s hockey team isn’t a good as St Mary’s and really it wouldn’t be the end of the world if he went to St Mary’s while Rey went to Dal. They would at least both be in the city. But what if Rey wants to go somewhere else? Dalhousie’s tuition is notoriously high… but they’ll talk about all that. 

“Anything you want.” 

“Mmm, next time I want to be facing you.” Rey mumbles, “ride you on the couch.” 

They’ll need to wash all the sheets and clothing in the bed, maybe strip it before they go again. The couch might be a good alternative if they can find a blanket that’s not totally saturated. Good fucking luck there. 

In total, her heat lasts about five days. Longer than expected but a quick search of the interwebs explains that the compatibility of Alpha and omega’s can impact a heat/rut situation making it last longer. That little piece of information certainly doesn’t go straight to Ben’s head, nope, not at all. 

He wakes up around five-thirty am on the fifth day to find their freshly made bed empty, Rey’s spot cold. Panic erupts like wildfire sending Ben toppling from the bed. It’s been days since he’s worn clothing so honestly, the thought of finding something to wear seems utterly pointless. He bolts from the room and skids down the hallway to find Rey sitting in the earth morning sunlight wrapped in one of his hockey sweaters a fresh cup of coffee clutched in her hand. 

She’s pulled her hair back, maybe even brushed it a little, it’s hard to tell but it sits on her head in a messy and lopsided bun. The trail of warm light fluttering in through the window brings with it a cool breeze and the smell of the ocean. Rey looks… she looks at peace. Her heat gone, her skin tone back to the bronze sun-kissed sweetness that he's come to adore. She’s sitting with her feet tucked up underneath her, her gaze settled on the tide, white caps rolling in stealing away fragments of the sandbar. 

“I finally feel like myself again.” She says it with such relief that it hits a little rough making Ben wonder if maybe she regrets any of it, “Like— I still want you but I don't feel like I’ll die if you don’t fuck me this instant.” 

“Do you—“ 

Rey’s warm smile cuts him off as she pulls herself up finding herself on unsteady footing. “Want to have sex?” Ben’s cock twitches in anticipation but the burn in his legs makes him feel like he’s just played two weekends worth of tournaments back to back. He could, he would but not with the same eagerness as before, “God—“ Rey laughs warmly, “Look at you—“ 

Ben gazes down at himself carefully, a brow quirked in question, “You’re like… all alpha aren’t you.” Slowly her legs wobble as she makes her approach, her cup of coffee abandoned on the counter as she steps up in front of him. Her scent is different now, lacking the urgency it had before but still sweet. Like that pancakes and vanilla, he’d first scented on her but now with something darker, like dark chocolate and good coffee. Maybe it’s how they smell together. Some divine pairing good enough to eat. 

“I— am?” Her fingers graze the underside of his pec, slow and soft down his stomach across abs that he knows he has but doesn’t like to draw attention to. Ab’s that fucking hurt now from all the sex, it has to be the sex right? Why else would his abs hurt like this?

It tickles, the way her nails scrape lightly, not enough to hurt but enough to let him know that she's there. Taking her time, watching her own hands explore everything standing before her. “To think I thought this was gross.”

“Gross?”

“Well not gross, but a gross display of alpha—ness.” tucking her chin she peers up at Ben, “You’re just so— so large Ben.” One hand dips down to cup his balls and slowly growing erection in her hand, “So large,” she teases but the touch soon becomes soft as she rounds his hips and along his low back. He lets her touch, taking in what she can with eyes that sparkle like crystallized earth. “I can’t believe I punched that girl.”

Ben chuckles, “Bazine? Not going to lie it was kind of badass.” 

“She’s a ballsy bitch huh?” 

“She’s more bark than bite. I don’t imagine she’ll be bothering you again,” Ben says as a deep rumble starts up within his chest. He’s purring again, purring because Rey is touching him and it feels amazing. 

“Or you, I hope.” Rey hasn’t met his eye yet, too engrossed in her casual exploration to look up. It takes Ben steeling her hand and bringing it to his lips to finally catch her attention. Wide-eyed and curious she cocks her head to the side, “Hello.”

“Hello,” he returns softly, pressing her palm into his cheek in order to nuzzle it, “What do you want Rey?”

“Want?” Ben’s cock has reached a point where it’s an obvious hindrance between them. Long and hard and demanding it juts out pressing into her sweater-clad belly, “Oh— I— Can we— I mean I’d like—“ 

Dipping in close Ben captures her lips. One hesitant and sweet kiss and then another and another before Rey’s cheeks are flushed and she’s looking a little flustered, “Tell me.”

“I want to know—“ He laces their fingers together giving her something new to stare at, “I want— I want to know if it’s the same without the heat. If—“ 

“You want me to fuck you.” Chewing on her lower lip Rey nods softly allowing Ben to pull the sweater up and over her head. The neck of the material gets caught on her bun pulling some of her hair free as he tosses the heavy fabric onto the floor. Like this standing in the morning sun, Ben can see all of her. Each freckle, each scar, every mark left upon her flesh by his hand or another's and she’s never been more beautiful, “How?” 

Her eyes dart from Ben, the kitchen table, the counter and then the couch, before nodding towards the couch. It wouldn’t be the first or even the fourth time they fucked on it but this time for some reason it’s different. This time it’s a choice made by them, not for them. Rey leads him over and then pushes him down so that he’s seated in front of her. It’s low to the ground and his knees stuck up at awkward angles but that doesn’t stop his cock from reaching up towards his belly. It takes no time at all for him to reach full arousal around her. Something that will likely cause issues once school starts. In the halls of academia, they’ll be forced to behave which seems wholly unrealistic now that he knows how amazing she sounds when she begs for him.

There’s no begging here though, just long legs straddling his thighs until her pretty pussy is hovering over the engorged head of his cock. There’s no preparation, if five days wasn’t enough then well, no amount of prep could ever ready her for the blunt pressure of his cock pressing into her. 

He watches ardently as she takes him in hand and rubs him through her slick folds a few times before lining him up. He can feel the heat radiating off her as his swollen glans notches against her and they both moan. He knows what’s going to happen and it’s all he can do to simply let it. She wants the control here, needs to have it, take it. She needs to feel like she can have this without it stemming from biology and need. It has to be a want for her, something she can take for herself. 

“Touch me, Ben,” she offers him sweetly before sinking down on him slowly. She’s not as wet as she had been before so the glide isn’t as smooth. The drag pulls at his foreskin as she wriggles against him and he takes hold of her hips, “Help me?” 

A short nod and he’s pushing up into her while simultaneously pulling her down. It takes longer to get settled but soon she’s flush against him, her chest pressed to his, a smile on her lips that could light up a room. 

“You feel— fuck you feel—“

“Tell me.” he barely whispers, “Tell me— please.” 

An experimental bob and she slides along him, up just a few inches before dropping back down with a bounce. Her backside bounces on his thighs and he can’t help but groan, “Big— fuck thick. You feel thick like you’re filling me up. Fuck you’re filing me up so well Ben.” Her hands rest against his pecs as she starts a good pace, bouncing and grinding slow and easy against him. 

Ben has to focus on his breathing, his nostrils flaring as he tries not to lose control. He has to let her have this. “What else?” he chokes out.

“You make me feel full, whole.” 

“You were whole without me.”

Rey giggles as she rocks, her slick coating his balls as she moves just her hips up and down with a careful bounce, “I was— But this is— I can’t explain it.”

“Try?”

“Ok alpha,” she quips lightly, his knot pulsing already. They’ve only just started and already he’s close to the edge of a release, “You feel like safety, like I could let go right now and you would catch me.” 

“Always.”

“Important, cherished, loved. I feel— you feel like love Ben.” 

Up and down Rey’s thighs push, grind, pull, begging him to give her everything, “Because I love you, I’ll tell you— nghhh fu—fuck again and uuuuuuunnnhph— again. I love you I— I love you.” And he can feel it, like an electric currently rumbling through his neurons.

“I love you too.” Rey hums in return her hands sliding up over his shoulders and around his neck. She kisses him sweetly, their noses bumping together as she fucks herself against him. Every downstroke a little harder, her weight the fulcrum that forces him inside her. 

Her whimper sounds in his ear, her hips gyrating as she rubs herself against him. “Rey, I’m so sorry, I’m— I’m gonna come.” His hands slide across her back pulling her closer, their mouthes clashing as he wraps his arms up under hers to rest on the tops of her shoulders like a backpack pulling her down onto him, “Fuck fuck fuck.”

“I’m close Ben— so close.” 

He can feel her clamp down, gasp and cry out as his hold on her tightens. He pulls her close and pistons his hips pulling her down to meet him until he can’t pull out anymore and the brilliance of it lights up behind his eyes light up like a supernova. Rey comes hard and silent, her mouth open, head thrown back exposing the smooth column of her neck. His kisses rain down along it steady and harsh as it hits him like a wet crack. His hips snap, his knot expands and he’s coming with a roar in her ear that has Rey laughing. She’s muttering something about ‘ _liking when he’s loud_ ’ but all he can really hear is the ringing in his ears. Her lips press soft kisses against his shoulder, nose nuzzling into his neck against his mating glad until suddenly she stops. 

“Oh fuck Ben—“

He barely has the time to register as a shiver shudders down along his spine and he's grinding her against his knot because fuck, that feels exquisite. But she’s not humming in pleasure but pulling away. 

“Ben— Ben.” 

“M’at?” he grumbles still too blissed out to really put two and two together. 

“Ben I bit you.” 

“Yeah I bit you too, fucking love when you bite me,” He tries to nuzzle his nose into her neck but her fingers tug on his hair forcing him to look her in the eye. Locked together like this there isn’t anywhere for her to really go but she’s starting to look a little panicked. 

“No— Ben, I bit you. Like I _bit you,_ bit you.”  


“What’tya mean?”

Rey groans, “Ben,” his name high pitched, panic, she’s panicking. Peaked and bright and clawing at his chest. His arms wrap around her in an attempt at soothing her but she’s struggling, fighting and he can feel it, the flutter of something that doesn’t belong to him, like his world is being pulled towards her like a freight train. She bit him, what could she— oh.

Oh fuck. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for readying guys, come say Hello on [The Twitter](https://twitter.com/rebelscumreylo) and for anyone interested there's a [Playing Defence Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6xSwy5BORUSEDjWBjtYkSJ?si=YgxFTvVbTKuW8zr9T20uSg)  
> Love you xoxox


	18. You are my only one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “How can you be this calm?”
> 
> “What choice do I have Ben? What am I suppose to do?”
> 
> He knows what he wants her to do, he knows what he needs her to do but fuck she’s not doing anything at all, “Fucking talk to me Rey. You haven’t said a word since— since we fucked.” He spits it out like a curse, like it’s something they should be ashamed of and maybe they should be. Who were they to think that something so monumental should be shared between two idiot teenagers?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhhhm... Not sure how I feel about this, it was really hard to write for some reason so... sorry for that.  
> Here's hoping there's not as long between now and th next update!

Their drive home is a quiet one. The air in the car around them stale and strange, not exactly what Ben had been expecting after spending five whole glorious days buried knot deep in his girlfriend's pretty little body. Not just his girlfriend now but his mate because they’re mated now. She bit him, claimed him as her own and a lesser alpha might take issue with that fact but not Ben.

No, Ben thrives on the fact that she chose him. She did choose him right? 

Or perhaps it was a simple biological mistake. An act precipitated purely by the flood of pheromones that managed to drown out all reason. A mistake that can’t be taken back. A mistake, a _mistake_ , it was all just a mistake because now Rey can’t even look at him and he feels it in his chest- like someone has managed to tie his lungs into knots. 

He wants to reach out, wants to take her hand in his, to pull over the car and demand answers but he’s afraid. His mind feels like glass that’s cracking beneath a tremendous amount of pressure, beneath the weight of something far beyond his control. As though just a tap could shatter him into a million pieces leaving him broken and alone. Ben can feel her beneath his skin and yet she’s never felt so far away from him. Not since before she presented. Since the night he stole her Jack Daniels when he barely knew she even existed. 

He can’t do this, not again, he won’t, it’s too hard. His heart feels like it’s been torn into ribbons and braided back together with thorns and glass. It was hard enough to dismantle their nest, their little world of sex and affection ripped apart, disassembled like a lego set piece by piece. Their scent drownd out by bleach and Lysol and laundry detergent. Their bodies scrubbed until their skin was pink and raw, like they could strip it all away until they were just two people again. 

Only they’ll never _just_ be two people again. It’s not possible. She’s been woven into the very fabric of his existence. Embedded in his heart so deep that he’ll never be rid of her. They could break up tomorrow and years could pass and he would still have a piece of her there. Nestled close, a memory of a love that might have been because he loves her. He loves her so much that it’s becoming hard to breathe because she won’t fucking look at him and he can’t fucking do this. 

Her name is there, spelled out on the end of his tongue. _R-E-Y_ , so simple and yet the hardest thing he’s ever had to say in his life. Her name. The name of the person he loves the most in the world and he can’t fucking say it because he’s afraid that when he does the clock will strike midnight and their coach will become a pumpkin and their horsemen will turn back into mice. But is he the one with the glass slipper or is it her?

They’re less than ten minutes to town and already this day has felt like the longest of Ben’s life. It’s only ten-fifteen and it feels like he’s been awake for a lifetime. They _did_ get up at dawn and it’s been five whole days since his world has even resembled anything normal. Who knew sex could be so utterly exhausting?

Is it the sex though? Or the emotional fall out of whatever this is that’s become so incredibly draining? 

It’s hard to tell, maybe if she’d just look at him he wouldn’t feel so fucking crazy. Because he loves her and she bit him and they’re _mated_ and now she won’t even look at him. She can’t look at him. 

His phone chimes through the speakers over the sound of the Ataris’ belting out ‘ _Boys of Summer_ ’. Once, twice, a third time and then nothing throwing the car back into a strained sort of weirdness. He’s trying to focus on the road, really and truly he is but he can’t and it’s not safe and he needs to pull the fuck over because he just hit a bunny and Rey— Rey is crying. He hit a rabbit and Rey is crying and fuck this whole thing is such a god damn mess. 

They’re at the town limits when Ben pulls off to the side, the road still gravel beneath Geraldine’s wheels, “I can’t do this,” he says a little too harshly, turning the keys in the ignition throwing the space into an uncomfortable silence. 

For a moment she says nothing and then that moment stretches into another, and then another, and another and it’s all too much for Ben to take. He can’t do this, be so close to her after everything that’s happened and have her ignore him. Pretend that he doesn’t exist. Like he doesn’t _feel_ something. Can’t she feel it the way he does? Like another person is living beneath his skin. The hollow outline of someone else juxtaposed next to him, like a ghost of something that is, was, might have been. 

Her presence is too much, her scent a thing that taunts him now because there beneath the edge of them is something else. Something that flickers like candlelight in a storm, fear, apprehension, regret. 

Without warning, Ben slams his fists against the steering wheel. The impact causes Rey to startle and while normally Ben would care he can’t find it within him to do so right now. It’s him or her and right now his heart has thrown itself into self-preservation mode because if he doesn’t he’s likely to pull it straight from his chest and lie it at her feet as an offering. 

Throwing the car door open Ben stalks out into the hazy mid-morning sun. The air is muggy, the humidity almost too much to bear when compared to the lovely air-conditioned car but if he stays in there one minute longer he’s going to be sick.

His skin prickles, like he’s licked a nine-volt battery. The zing of something dark and wild ripping through his veins as he stalks to the back of the car, his hands raking down over his face.

His scream is visceral, something he feels down into his toes. It’s loud and foolish but he’s not sure what else to do. He can’t think of anything but the way she won’t look at him, obsessed with the fact that his mate is rejecting him. This foolish feeling that makes him feel totally unhinged. He’s losing his mind. Little by little his sanity is leaving him because all he can focus on is her. Three steps from the trunk and he knows exactly where she is. Two to the left, one forward and then six right. He’s moving to keep himself from crying, testing out the length of invisible wire that's tied around his heart linking them together. He knows exactly how many steps will take him to her side, how many breathes, how many heartbeats because that is how he’s measuring space now. Everything boiling down to how close she is. 

“Fuck, fuck, fucking,” A deep breath and Ben bellows the next, “ _Fuck!_ ” like an animal, nearly missing the slam of the car door behind him. 

Nearly missing the harsh snap of the string, the way his attention is summoned right fucking now because Rey is a ball of fury and they’re about to go toe to toe, “Are you done?” she screams at him, standing on the side of the road in a pair of cut off shorts and his sweater swimming around her thighs. His sweater because she needed to feel close to him in this, their darkest hour. His sweater because his scent brings her a calm she never knew she craved until he loved her. Because he does, love her that is. He loves her so much it feels the world doesn’t make sense anymore. Or maybe it’s just that he can’t trust his own mind, “What is this? What are you doing?” 

“I don’t know!” Ben hollers and this time Rey doesn’t startle. This time she stands her ground with her hands bracketing her hips staring at him like she has no idea what the fuck he’s doing. Good because he doesn’t either. 

Staking towards her, closing the space between them Ben stops nearly toe to toe. He’s large and scary when mad but Rey’s eyes are hard and dark and glistening with tears because she’s upset. He upset her. Fuck what is happening right now? 

All he can do is stare, his eyes searching her face, jumping from feature to feature before settling on her eyes. Beautiful brown eyes that look like they’re trying to set him on fire. If looks could kill, Ben would be dead and Rey— well he’s not sure what Rey would be, maybe well within her right.

“Are you—“ She starts but he cuts her off, surging forward, his hands grabbing her face while his lips meet hers in a brutal and fierce kiss. It catches her off guard, her mouth open, slack and then she’s kissing him back her hands in his hair, fisting, pulling, the burn bittersweet as she pushes her tongue into his mouth demanding his subservience. He won’t give it, won’t allow it, pushing back, a growl in his throat that erupts like a cannon blast. She’ll give him shit for the alpha behaviour but he doesn’t care because he needs her to see. He needs to show her that he can be good, the kind of alpha that would make a good mate.

Her teeth clamp down on his lower lip, harsh and sharp making Ben whimper. It’s wrong that it’s a turn on right? 

But fuck if he can’t help but love the way his little omega pushes him. He feels his cock stiffen as he pulls back to put space between them leaving them both panting and pissed.  
“What the fuck?” Rey barks, punching Ben in the pec a little harder than strictly necessary, “What is wrong with you?”

“Me? what’s wrong with you?” Ben fires back, “You won’t talk to me, won’t even fucking look at me. Five days we’ve spent—“

“I know how we spent them, Ben, I was there.”

Like a puppy being scolded Ben backs down. His shoulders slump as he scrubs his palms against his face, “I don’t think we should go back right yet,” he tries to rationalize.

“We have to, they’re expecting us. I’m apparently supposed to go straight to your place for a family brunch and then Luke is taking me out to buy school supplies.” It’s the most normal thing that’s passed between them in five days. Something so simple, a conversation about life but she’s still not looking at him. Instead, Rey toes at the earth watching as her converse sneakers uproot a rock and push it around like a soccer ball.

“How can you be this calm?”  
  
“What choice do I have Ben? What am I suppose to do?”

He knows what he _wants_ her to do, he knows what he _needs_ her to do but fuck she’s not doing anything at all, “Fucking talk to me Rey. You haven’t said a word since— since we fucked.” He spits it out like a curse, like it’s something they should be ashamed of and maybe they should be. Who were they to think that something so monumental should be shared between two idiot teenagers?  


Fuck hindsight and it’s twenty/twenty vision. Fuck hormones and being an alpha and fuck falling for a girl who can’t love you back. Only she _does_ love him she’s said she loves him she just— she what? He’s never actually asked her, too afraid of the answer. 

“Ben,” His name falls from her lips, soft, shaken, her voice trembling as she falls back, her arse resting against Geraldine’s bumper. Exasperated she leans into a bend, stretching out her back and letting her hands hang towards the ground. She stays like that for one heartbeat before righting herself, cheeks flushed with the change in position, “What do you want me to say?”

Tears prick at the corner of Ben’s eyes. Warm and bitter and what the fuck is wrong with him? He’s a ball of fucking emotions and none of them make sense. Like parts of a teenage boy thrown into a dryer and left on tumble for too long, “Say—“ What? what does he want her to say? Dare he say the words out loud? “Say it wasn’t a mistake,” he pleads.

For a moment he wonders if she’s even going to answer and panic hits him like a flood. Then he realizes that she is and that’s almost worse because— “It was though,” it’s not at all what he wanted to hear. 

Without thought or reason, Ben turns and starts walking. His keys are still sitting in the ignition. All of his stuff still packed in the trunk and Rey— Rey is standing there watching. She’s standing there calling his name, screaming it until her voice cracks and the alpha in Ben’s chest roars wildly. Too bad asshole, you’re still tired from your five-day romp, you get to sit back and ride the teenage Ben train all the way to heart break station. Sit down shut up and— 

And a hand grabs his yanking him back. Turning him forcefully until he’s standing toe to toe with her again. With Rey. _His_ Rey. His pretty little girl who looks as desperate as he feels.

“Please stop,” 

His, “Why?” comes across far harsher than intended but his brave, sweet girl doesn’t flinch or falter.

She stares at the ground, at his shoes, at the rocks, the dirty, the grass. She tries so hard to gather her thoughts, to seem strong, seem sure but it all crumbles like wet paper left to dry in the sun when she finally truly looks at him. Her breath is ragged, like hot air drawn over an open flame, “Because—“ she starts softly but her eyes harden and she squeezes his hand, “Because I’m scared and I need— I need you and this feeling is _so_ much and I don’t know what I’m doing!” 

The pressure on the glass breaks and Ben’s world shatters into millions of tiny pieces. He’s crying and she’s crying and he has her pulled tight against his chest. Her sobs reverberate through his entire being as he kisses her and holds her rocking them carefully back and forth, “I bit you, Ben,” she offers as an answer but Ben can’t be certain what the question ever was, “I’ve made such a huge issue about you being some alpha asshole all this time and you— you listened and I’m the one—“ Oh, _OH,_ so _that’s_ what all this is about. 

“I’m the asshole, I took your choice away. I asked you not to mate me and you didn’t. You’re a good guy Ben Solo and I’ve treated you like you weren’t and now—“

“I’m ok with it though—“ he tries, “If you’d asked me I would have given it to you freely.”

A sharp inhale and a pause. A breath held and exhaled slowly, like the reality of his words is too heavy to support all on their own. Like they weigh down in her head and she needs a moment to adjust because — because he said that, “Look I know it’s a lot and that being mated so young is fucking terrifying but— Rey I’m ok with it. It’s ok if— if you’re not.” It’s not ok but it’ll have to be, “I love you, like not just a little bit either. You’re allowed to be scared but you need— I need you to _talk_ to me. We’re in this now. You’re stuck with me.”

Rey chuckles softly clutching to the cotton of his plain black t-shirt, “You’re stuck with me,” she mimics.

“We’re stuck with each other,” Ben offers as a compromise, pulling back to catch the glimmer of a smile dancing across her lips. Something small and fleeting but precious. He offers his own in return ducking in to taste her lips with a kiss that’s both tender and intense. 

“M’sorry,” Rey mumbles against his mouth, her lips chasing his as she moves to deepen the kiss. The soft brush of tongue against tongue, the shifting of mouthes, the way she still tastes like apples and brown sugar from breakfast. The soft little sigh that breathes life into him like a drug, all this and more make up what he loves most about this moment, “Think—still— heat—“ she manages between kisses making Ben laugh. 

“Yeah, we shouldn’t have come back. Think we could find somewhere to hide for a bit?” 

Rey presses her hips to his and smirks, “Why Benjamin, are you hard?” 

A growl rumbles forward as Ben leans into her and steals her mouth for another kiss. Her body is bowed back but his hands support her as he presses himself against her belly, “S’you’re fault.” 

Rey laughs, pulling back, pushing against his chest, “Mine? it’s your dick.”

“Wouldn’t be hard if you weren't so sweet.” He knows he should stop kissing her, his mouth falling across her cheek and down her neck nuzzling against her mating glad which smells— _right_ , “Do you feel it?” 

Dozily Rey purrs, “What?” leaning her head away so that Ben can kiss and lick and nip getting dangerously close to a bite, “Ouf, Ben—“

“I can feel how much you like that,” he murmurs against her skin.

“I can feel how much _you_ like it,” Rey offers back with a breathy laugh pressing against his persistent erection. Her hum of contentment ties his stomach in big floppy knots as she burrows in closer, “Yeah.” she says after a minute, “It’s like— I don’t even know how to describe it. Like when you move I can feel it. Like something is constantly pulling me in your direction. Like an itch beneath my skin, or not an itch but— I don’t know.” 

It doesn’t matter because Ben does. He knows exactly what she’s trying to say because he feels it too.

A soft chime from Rey’s back pocket pulls Ben back to the world around them. The one where they have to exist as two separate people but he doesn’t know how to do that, “What do you want to bet that’s Luke—“ Rey comments offhandedly pulling her phone out from her pocket with her nose still pressed against Ben’s chest. He strokes her back and toys with her hair as she turns her head to check, “Yep, he wants an ETA.”

“No, my mom wants an ETA and I’m not answering my phone, tell him fifteen minutes tops.”  


“Aren’t we only like five minutes away?”

“Seven with stops but I need— just—“ he needs a minute.

Rey nods firing off a quick text before they go back to their embrace. Warm and safe and sheltered still in their little bubble. The one that will pop the minute Ben pulls into his driveway. Home doesn’t mean home anymore because Home is here, right here in her arms where he feels like a giant. Where he feels like he can accomplish anything. 

They make it back in twenty, pulling into the driveway with Rey’s hand on his knee curled up with her knees tucked under her. She’s tired. He feels it the way he feels his own exhaustion but with the added pang of something sweeter. Together they pile out of the car and Ben tosses Rey’s overnight back into the back of Luke’s truck before they make their way to the front steps hand in hand.

It feels strange to stand on the threshold of his home. When he’d left he was someone else entirely.A boy who loved a girl and now he’s a man— well maybe not quite but he’s mated and that alone makes him feel like he’s standing a little taller than before. 

Pressing a kiss to her knuckle Ben pushes in, the house smells like cinnamon and cloves and something sweet, like his mother has spent the morning baking. 

Leaving Rey in the living room Ben offers a warm hello to his parents and uncle swooping in to press a kiss to his mother's cheek before bustling past to throw his stuff in his room. Applying another layer of deodorant and a spritz of body spray, nothing too harsh just something to hopefully cover up the very obvious way that he doesn’t quite smell like himself anymore, Ben finds himself back in the common area feeling slightly out of sorts.

The first thing he notices is the distinct lack of food. There are no plates on the counter, the oven is off and his father is sitting at the kitchen table with a glass of— oh fuck. His father is sitting there with a glass of scotch in his hand. No ice. Scotch with no ice is never a good sign.

His eyes survey the room. The same neutral tones that have always felt comforting now close in around him, “Sit.” His mother demands, pointing to the love seat where Rey is already perched, her shoulders hunched, body folding in on itself. She feels exposed and it makes Ben’s alpha wild to be backed into this corner. It screams at him to do something. Growl, scream, throw things, _anything_. 

Fix it, fix it, fix it. 

“I won’t tell you twice Ben,” Leia says sharply, nodding a brow towards the open spot next to Rey. There is only one thing that this could be about and it’s not back to school shopping. 

He follows without preamble taking a place next to his mate, his thigh bumping against hers. He wants to tell her it'll be alright, that he will protect her. That they’re in this together but he’s too afraid to speak. Afraid to make this worse. 

Across from them, Leia paces while Luke and Han sit silently at the table. Luke has a glass of scotch too but his has been left untouched. His focus is on Rey, his eyes curiously soft as he rubs at his thigh. His leg is stuck out at a jaunty angle, weather coming perhaps or maybe he’s just overdone it. There’s been fresh ice laid in the rink and hockey season starts up soon so there’s a good chance that Luke has been swamped with scheduling and other gruelling managerial type things. 

“—Can’t believe we’re back here having this conversation again,” Ben hears his mother say as he worms his hands beneath Reys linking their fingers together. 

The pressure at his side is steady and gentle. A warm line where their bodies meet from shoulder to thigh, they’re together in this if nothing else. 

“I thought you were acting strange, should have listened to my gut. My gut is never wrong—“ Leia rants.

“No— no it’s not,” comes from behind her, both Luke and Han looking equally suspicious. 

A cold look stiffens both her male counterparts. The room is ruled by this omega, his mother. A woman who Ben has feared and respected and loved his entire life. She’s always been fair even when Ben has thought otherwise. She’s always had his back, though in his alpha pigheadedness he might not have seen it at the time but now— can’t she see reason? They’re in love and why is that such a bad thing? They were safe— mostly. 

So Ben might have chewed on the spot where Rey’s implant sits a few times. It’s not like he was trying to take it out with his teeth. It’s just that her arm was there and he needed to— and it’s not like Rey meant to bite him, she was caught up in the moment but they don’t need to know that little bit yet. He managed to not bite her isn’t that worth something? Don’t they get credit for at least that?

“I can’t believe the two of you would be so reckless—“ Rey whimpers as his mom's voice gets just a smidgen higher, her hands clammy tucked away safely in his, “Do we— should we be worried here? Is there a possibility?” 

It’s like a rehashing of their last conversation only this time Luke’s involved and he looks incredibly uncomfortable, muttering, “She has the implant Leia,” as though he’s trying in some small way to help.

“I don’t imagine you used condoms—“ Leia presses.

But it’s Han, not Ben who responds with a scathing laugh, “Princess, do you know how horrendous those things are? I seem to recall one omega in particular who hated the damn things.”

“Don’t you—” Leia starts.

Han of course doesn’t bother taking the warning, he barrels on with the same carelessness that he applies to most aspects of his life. Act first, deal with the consequences whenever he’s forced to, the never the better. How he and Leia have managed to stay together this long is a miracle, “Said they were like water balloons filled with— semen when they were pulled out.” 

If looks could kill his father would be dead, so so very dead. He would be dead and then resurrected and there killed again. So, so very dead. Lips pressed in a tight line Ben watches his mother's jaw twitch finally putting two and two together. His mother was the omega and his father is not entirely on her side like she expected him to be. “If you aren’t going to be helpful Han, you can keep your big mouth shut,” she says through clenched teeth, “This isn’t about—“

“But it kind of is. You can’t expect him to have the mind to think ‘ _oh right condoms_ ’ in the middle of a rut. He’s not a stupid kid but you remember last time? he nearly broke my fucking jaw. Good kid or not, biology plays a huge factor.”

“Which is why I’m upset they put themselves in the position in the first place.”

Back and forth his parents go, fighting over a situation that Rey and Ben caused. It’s like watching lions swatting at each other, biting and nipping and growling until one of them backs down. Only neither of them seem to be backing down. When Leia finally turns to Luke for support her brother throws his hands in the air and stumbles to his feet. His gait is strained, his pelvis stiff as he struggles with his bad leg. Hobbling over to the old wing back chair Luke throws himself down nodding to Rey and then the ottoman close to her feet. 

Once his leg is propped up, his head knocked back against the chair cushions Luke seems a little more content, like just being away from his sister's frantic energy puts him at ease. Leia however is like a gnat. She flutters around bristling about choices and how they’re all too young to be grandparents. 

“It’s my fault,” Rey finally says, her voice shaking as she squeezes Ben’s hands, “I didn’t realize I was so close to a heat. I would have never gone if— I just. It’s never happened. I mean it did the once but I don’t know—“ she doesn’t know because the only education she’s received was in designation class and healthy living in school. The theory, a mere rudimentary knowledge of what happens to an omegas body but she didn’t grow up with a mom like Ben. Not just a mom like Leia but a mom at all. No one explained any of this to her and that— it breaks Ben’s heart, the reality of just how alone in the world Rey actually has been up until now. 

Leia seems to catch wind of it too, her gaze shifting from inferno to tepid flame. Pinching her brow carefully she cocks her hip to the side and lets out a haggard breath, “Sweetheart, I know— I know there are things you need to learn. I should have had that talk with you and for that I am woefully sorry. It was ignorant of me to thrust you upon my bother and expect everything to be ok.”

“Hey! I think I’ve been doing a pretty decent job,” Luke gripes. 

“Shut up Luke, you know what I mean—“ Moving her brother's foot over on the ottoman Leia perches so her knees are almost touching Rey’s, “I’m sorry,” she offers with the utmost sincerity, “I should have better prepared you for that. I imagine it was scary.”

Rey nods and Ben’s heart aches, like someone is squeezing it just a little too tightly trying to ring the last drop of blood from the organ before letting it fill up again, “I—“ He starts but his mother holds up a finger to silence him and now is not the time to push. 

“Do you at least understand the severity of your actions? Do you understand how dangerous it was to do what you two did? Teenagers should not go through heats and ruts together like this. You barely understand your designations. What if something happened?”

But something _did_ happen, something amazing, something incredible, something that Ben knows better than to tell his mother about, “She was in pain mom, what was I suppose to do?”

Having the attention shifted off of Rey and onto him feels like a pressure lifted. The weight of his mother's eyes presses in like a hand holding him in place but he’s at least given Rey a moment's reprieve. 

While Rey was afforded quiet understanding Ben however is met with a fiery determination. He’s doomed, here it comes. He can see the way the words percolate in his mother's mind, the way she carefully curates her response for maximin efficiency. He’s been here before, not over this but other things and he’s ready. He’s ready because no matter what she says she can’t take Rey away from him. They are bound together now, “You should have contacted an adult Ben. You should have been smart about it, to do that so close to so many other teenage alphas and omegas— you could have thrown the whole lot of them into chaos.”

Anger bubbles up, he did the right thing, he knows he did the right thing, she just can’t see it, “How do you even know anyway?” Ben barks far too harshly, trying to push his mother back a little, trying to gain some ground here. 

Casting Ben an incredulous look Leia grumbles a bitter, “I wasn’t born yesterday Benjamin, I knew something was going on when we spoke on the phone,” there’s a pause, the space between them filled with an awkward knowing because fuck, “And you really should make sure you’ve ended a conversation before you—” 

Fuck— oh fucking fuck fuckity fuck fuck, “Okay!” Han hollers, drowning out whatever Leia has to say next. 

Rey groans, her forehead wrinkled in utter despair as she buries her face into the soft fabric of Ben’s shirt sleeve. She’s mortified and he probably should be too but he’s gotten himself caught between stubbornly refusing to back down and feeling like an idiot and still his mother pushes on glaring at her husband, “So I called Brendol—“

  
“You didn’t,” he cries out, louder than he probably should, catching a pointed look that effectively cuts the flow of words spilling through his brain to mouth filter, 

“He’s in Italy right now, though I’m sure that you knew that already.” choosing not to answer Ben finds a rather interesting scruff mark on the floor to focus on leaning his cheek against Rey’s forehead. They’re safer together, she’ll be safer like this, “So of course I called Shara and she called Poe—“ Fucking Dameron, of course, it would be Poe big mouth Dameron who opened his big fucking mouth, “You have very loyal friends Ben.”

Wait, what?

“Poe told his mother that nothing was going on. You should thank your friend because as I understand it he landed himself in a great deal of trouble over this. _Then_ I had parents calling me asking me if I knew what was going on. People talk Ben, did you not think it would eventually get back to me what was going on?” When Ben doesn’t answer right away, his mother presses, “Well?”

“I didn’t think anyone else knew,” Ben mutters quietly digging down deep to try and find his courage, “Honestly, I didn’t care much either, my only concern was getting Rey to a safe place and I did that.”

“And then you should have called an adult, for god sakes Ben,I know you know this!”

Behind them a glass clinks against the countertop, “Oh for the love of— he did ok? He contacted an adult!” 

Rey looks at Ben while Leia, Ben, and Luke all look at Han. The latter having to swivel in the chair rather comically in order to find his brother in law, “Excuse me?” There’s a deadly cool in his mother's voice as she rises to her feet. Her hands smooth out her loose cotton trousers before she makes her way back into the kitchen to stand before her husband. Ben can see it, how they work, the give and take that makes their relationship function. Fighting as a form of foreplay. 

It’s comical really, the way his mother stands with her hands on her hips glaring up at her large oaf of a husband. He’s the picture of calm, a small smirk playing at his lips as he folds his arms across his chest in an open challenge. Ben knows who will win this but he’s grateful for his father for even trying while Luke simply groans and rights himself in his chair again, “Kid you ok?” 

Behind them all hell breaks loose, Leia’s voice rising as Han simply chuckles. He’s saying something about how he handled it and she needs to relax. Telling Leia Organa she needs to relax is a declaration of war in and of itself. There are shrieks about being a unified front that are hard to ignore but Luke snaps his fingers and both Ben’s and Rey's attention find their way onto the old curmudgeon, “You guys ok?” he asks quietly, clearly trying to avoid the wrath of hurricane Leia, “Rey?”

Ben feels her fingers tighten in his grasp, her heart rate fluttering, the pressure of her body at his side becoming a little heavier, a little more persistent. Like she’s afraid she’ll be taken from him. Or perhaps that’s his fear, “Ye—yeah,” she manages softly, swallowing the load of bullshit that’s been shoved into their mouths before nodding, “Yeah.”

“You tired? Hungry? What’s going on in your head?” Luke asks casually over a raised, ‘ _You should have told me!_ ’

When Ben feels Rey relax something uncoils in his chest. Something warm and beautiful and bright that he didn’t realize he was suffocating, “I’m just tired, a little sore, not—“ a soft rouge blossoms across Rey’s cheeks that Ben finds himself wanting to kiss, Instead he worms an arm around her shoulders drawing her in tight. A soft squeeze and she looks up at him. Their eyes meet for a matter of moments and everything in the world sort of stills. Ben can hear his heartbeat hammering in his chest, a steady _‘ba-thump_ ’ like the persistent beating of a drum. 

He watches the way her lashes flutter, the subtle way her lips twitch like she wants to say something more but can’t. They can’t because they left their bubble and now they’re in the real world with real consequences and why does his neck itch so much. Subconsciously he shifts his shoulders, twisting his head around so that the collar of his t-shirt slides against his mating gland. It makes him shudder, Rey’s cheeks deepening in color as the scent of _them_ blooms off his skin. It’s not enough though, _fuck_ , not by a long shot. He needs to scratch it or better yet feel her lips pressed against it. The warm and wet of her tongue like a balm to soothe the irritated flesh. And _Shit_. 

Across from them, Luke watches carefully clearly incredibly uncomfortable with how all this is playing out. He shifts in his chair, pushing himself upright sot that his leg slides off the ottoman and he’s leaning forward. Ben can see the way his nose twitches, his eyes growing wider as his attention becomes laser-focused, “Guys…” he says cautiously as Ben starts to itch. Behind Luke, Han says something about how he ‘ _handled it_ ’ and Leia, ‘ _needs to respect his parenting_ ’ and then stops. 

“What’s that—“ Ben hears his mother ask as she gives the air a soft sniff, her attention falling on Rey and Ben fast enough to make Ben’s head spin, “Oh— no— no— no,” she mutters marching through the kitchen back into the conjoined living room. She’s standing over them with Han at her back, his hands resting casually in the pockets of his plaid sleep pants, “Ben—“ his mother starts, drawing out the ‘e’ in the name like she used to when he was a child doing something he knew that he shouldn’t. 

She’s watching him move his shoulders, watching him rub his fingers against his neck, pressing them into the skin that burns and stings a little. Still marked beneath the collar of his shirt where Rey bit him. It feels hot, wild, god it fucking itches. 

He doesn’t stop until Rey grabs his hand and forces their fingers back together pointedly. His mother looks like she's on the verge of a nervous breakdown and his father— Han looks disappointed. 

“Benjamin,” Leia tries evenly but there’s a quiver in her voice. She swallows before she continues, “I need you to show me—“ a soft nod in his direction and he knows exactly what she wants. 

His choice to play dumb is not likely a smart one but he can’t help but gape, “What?” the question coming a little harder than he might have originally intended.

It’s Rey that chides him, elbowing him in the side as she groans out a soft, “Please don’t.”

Leia, instead huffs, “Please don’t do this right now, just— please show me your neck.” 

Petulantly he wants to refuse, to stop his foot agains the floor and declare a loud, ‘ _Don’t wanna_ ,’ but that will only further his mother's agitation. All he needs to do is tug down the collar of his shirt and this will all be over. He can show them all that there is no turning back for them, that this is real now. Forever theirs.

“Ben, just— _please_.” And it’s only because Rey asks him that he complies. For that reason and no other that he hooks his finger into the collar of his cotton t-shirt and drags the fabric aside. It tingles, his skin exposed to the warm summer air making the hairs on the back of his neck prickle. 

At first, his mother says nothing, the room still in mute silence as he feels four sets of eyes hone in on him and him alone. Even Rey is watching, her eyes creeping up over his profiles as he bears their secret before a room filled with their family. Eventually, his father mutters ' _fuck_ ' and stalks off slamming the sliding door to the backyard as he goes. 

“Rey, we need to see your neck too,” cuts Luke’s voice through the stillness. The steady calm of a man who would rather be anywhere doing anything other than this, “it’s ok, you aren't in trouble.”

Unwinding herself from Ben’s side he feels her shift ever so slightly, her head-turning, nose grazing against Ben's shoulder as she pulls aside the neck of his sweater exposing what Ben knows to be a smooth column of pale skin marred with his particular brand of attention. 

“Oh Benji,” his mother says softly.

While Luke’s soft, “Thank fuck” flutters through Ben’s mind. 

“It’s done, there’s nothing anyone can do about it.” Ben pushes forward grabbing Rey’s hand for himself more than her at this point. He feels like he's been cast out to sea, left to watch as his rope lets him drift further and further away. She is his anchor, she will keep him grounded, keep him sane. 

It’s hard to meet his mother's eye, even harder to imagine what he’ll say to his father when he finally comes back inside. He’s betrayed both their trust and now— well he’s not sure what happens next, “What exactly do you think is done?” Leia asks calmly, her voice soft and reassuring, the kind she uses to talk to kids who are afraid to be in her office. 

“We— we’re mated.”

“Oh— no Hunny you aren’t.” 

It’s finding out Santa Clause isn’t real all over again. The gentle way she had to assure him that it was ok and the magic of Christmas was what really mattered anyway. The way she’d coddled him gently, reassuring and soft while he cried because to eight-year-old Ben that had been devastating news. But this, this is worse. 

His voice feels dry, like he’s just pounded back a large cup of sand when he says, “What do you mean?” 

His eyes search her out, his mother, not Rey, finding her standing at Luke’s side leaning on the arm of his chair. Both of them look tired but undoubtedly relieved as Leia cards her fingers together and places them gently against her knee.

“Mating bites need alpha saliva to seal the bond,” Luke says evenly, “And while you undoubtedly bit her,” the wry smile earns him a cuff to the back of the head from Leia, “You didn’t do it in the one place that really seemed to matter most.” 

He didn’t— they’re not— 

Nothing feels right, everything is just a little lopsided now and what’s worse is the strange level of relief that he feels simmering around Rey. She— she’s glad for it. A pressure lifted that he can feel radiate from her and like that Ben is to his feet pulling away despite the protests. He’s spiralling hard, the room spinning like he’s had too much to drink only he’s stone-cold sober and she’s glad that they aren’t mated. 

Behind him he hears his name, it’s his mother, he can tell because it’s said in a way that doesn’t physically hurt him. Relief wrapped in a shroud of concern that’s simmering in something that feels distinctly like love. He doesn’t say anything, doesn’t bother to acknowledge them at all as he stalks out the back door and into the mid-morning light.

Out there away from it all, he feels like he can finally breathe again. Like for the first time in a long time, it’s just him and that’s ok. Only it’s not. It’s hallow and wrong and his skin itches and suddenly he’s drowning all over again.  


Somewhere to his left, he hears the shuffle of slippers against pavement. A gruff cough indicative of his father's piss poor habits, this one in particular brought on by stress. He should have picked up on the scent of cigarette smoke but his senses are still filled with _her_ , sweet and sugary and pure, but it’s there now, the acrid tang of tobacco and nicotine, “Mom will have a fit if she smells that on you,” Ben says bitterly closing his eyes to the bright light of the sun. 

“I figure she’s got other things to worry about right now what with your bone head decision making.”

“Oh, you missed the punch line. Alpha bites seal the bond and since I didn’t bite her—“

“You didn’t bite her?”

Ben shakes his head slowly, “Nope,” he says with a long ‘o’ and a sharp pop to the ‘p’ “I didn’t bite her. She asked me to,” the cadence in which the words fell from her lips will be forever embedded in his memory but— “but I knew she didn’t want it. Don’t get me wrong, I bit her, I just didn’t _bite_ her.” 

“Oh thank fuck,” comes out in a rush, “Ben, you have no idea the bullet you dodged there.” 

The implication is raw and bitter and what the fuck does his father know? He’s about to give the old man a piece of his mind when Han moves closer, “You feel it though right? Even though you didn’t seal it,” he does, even this far apart he can feel her like a whisper through his veins. A little like mind reading but nothing at all like it all at the same time. A _knowing_ , like how Ben knows when he’s hungry or needs his rest. Like knowing her is there as a second sense. Not a clear cut image but the whisper of a feeling, “Yeah, it’ll fade after a bit.”

“I don’t want it to though—“ Ben hears himself say, the words out of his mouth before he thinks better of it.

“You do. Trust me, kid. That step you want to be made when you know. Really know. One shared heat isn’t enough to know that. Christ, twelve shared heats aren’t enough to know for some.” When Ben doesn’t answer, Han chuckles, slapping him on the shoulder, “Feels like you know huh? I mean. She’s great. I’d love her for you but—“ Turning to look his father in the eye Ben catches the knowing, the wisdom that’s there locked beneath the surface, “If it’s her then great but you need to know who you are first and you haven’t gotten there yet. Mating at seventeen is a dangerous business. You can lose yourself in the person you’re mated too and something tells me you wouldn’t want that for Rey.”

Of course not, “No—“ 

“No, and she wouldn’t want that for you either. It sounds old-fashioned I know but honestly Ben you’re better off waiting until you have a better idea what it is you’re about. What your passion in life is.” Han tacks on a smirk and a “Other than hockey,” like he can read Ben’s mind, “Ok, look, perfect example, when was the last time you hit the ice?”

That’s not a question Ben finds himself able to answer easily, too long is all he can really think, “Couple weeks?”

“Yeah, and when was the last time you went this long?” 

His father's point rings as clear as a bell, “You’re all wrapped up in one another and it happens but I don’t want you two living in one another's back pockets. You won’t want to hear this but I’m saying it anyway. You both need space.” 

That sounds like an absolutely horrible idea, space is the last thing either of them needs right now. 

Why then is Ben standing on the back patio while Rey sits in the house with his mother and uncle?

“I’m not saying break up. For the love of god don’t do that, just— understand that you’re individuals first and what you take to the relationship benefits the both of you. You need to grow together in a relationship and if you care about this girl— and I’m fairly certain you do. You’ll see that being Ben and Rey first will make you stronger together.” 

Another careful slap on the shoulder and Ben is left alone, the patio door gliding shut with a soft click. Another moment, maybe more, likely more and Ben finds himself laying against the black shingles atop his father's work shed. They’re warm, the heat bleeding through his clothing but it’s comforting and the sun feels good. He’s lost to the heat, like a lizard bathing on a rock when a soft grunt and the scrambling of sneakers against wood pulls his focus from his daydreams. 

Sitting up he sees Rey’s head, her fingers groping the rough roofing as she pulls herself up, her knees scraped raw as she sits in a crouch panting. Her scent hits him like a tone of bricks, enough to knock him flat on his ass and then some as she crawls on her hands and knees towards him. 

She doesn’t say a word, just watches him as he lies back, propped up on his elbows before settling herself against his thighs, her own spread across his legs carefully. “What’s wrong?” He hears her all but demand wriggling out of his sweater to toss it on the roof next to Ben’s head. Beneath it, she’s wearing a bikini top and a thin white tank top. It’s more of an undershirt really, the suggestion of a shirt, her tanned skin radiant in the light of the sun. 

“You know what’s wrong.”

Rey scoffs softly, it’s not bitter but something dark and taunting, like she’s calling him an idiot and maybe she is, maybe she should, “I want to hear you say it,” she offers instead.

For a minute he doesn’t bother saying anything at all. He’s not in the mood for this stupidity. She knows, he knows she knows but she’s playing this game like his feelings don’t matter except— they might be the only thing that matters to her at all, “I hate that you’re relieved that this isn’t permanent,” Ben finally mutters looking down at her ankles instead of up at her face. She’s sitting like a frog, with her legs spread out awkwardly. 

“You’re an idiot Ben,” fitting back the fuck you, he dares stare her in the face, “You heard me, you beautiful idiot.” Dropping herself forward her palms strike the shingles on either side of his head bringing her face within inches of his. He can smell her vanilla lipgloss and the peanut butter on her breath. She must have had something to eat while waiting for him to stop sulking. Her lips are bright and red and still look kiss swollen. Inviting, they look inviting, her dark lashes fluttering as she smirks and leans close. Their noses bump together gently before she nuzzles her cheek against his and sighs, “You know we’re better off.”

He might know but that doesn’t mean he has to like it. 

Resting against him in an ‘ _ouf_ ,” he feels Rey curl up against him like a giant cat, her head tucked against his chest cheek first, “I’m relieved because now we have a choice,” he hears her whisper, like she's listening to his heartbeat, her fingers stroking a gentle line beneath his pec, “I’m relieved because we can talk about this, because we have time to know. I’m relieved because I didn’t take that from you.”

Carefully Ben winds his arms around her, his large palms pressed against her skin beneath her shirt, “I’d choose you, every time,” he whispers to her carefully. 

“I hope so,” she mutters, turning her head to nuzzle against his shirt, “I just want this to be something we decide together.” 

He knows she’s right, just like he knew his father was right but he hates it all the same, “Can I keep you?”

Rey laughs softly, her smile felt against his chest through the thin material of his shirt, “I hope you will.” 

“Good,” he hums feeling dozy in the sunlight, peaceful with her heartbeat thudding steadily against his own. They’ll do their learning, they’ll wait and when the time comes that they’re ready— Ben shudders at the thought and Rey giggles— He’ll bite her, he’ll lock them together because this— this is real and it’s amazing and Ben knows, no matter what, this is where his heart belongs. In an apartment above his friend's garage, in his bed in his parent's house, on top of his father's old work shed. Whenever she is, that’ll be his home. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright well, come say Hello on [The Twitter](https://twitter.com/rebelscumreylo) and for anyone interested there's a [Playing Defence Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6xSwy5BORUSEDjWBjtYkSJ?si=YgxFTvVbTKuW8zr9T20uSg)  
> 


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